Tuesday

How do I Depart Without Pissing Off the Parents?

opinion 1
Hi! I'm a nanny in a large city. I have been working for my current family for 6 months. I've always thought I would be a career nanny. I am able to support myself just fine, however after doing a lot of thinking, I have decided that I want to go back to school for my RN (nursing) and eventually work in pediatrics. The family wants a commitment of at least a year from me. My problem is that nursing classes start in August. I need to complete a few prereques (anatomy, physiology and medical math). These classes begin at the beginning of May and overlap with my job. I do not have a contract, so they cannot hold me to working a year for them. How can I give notice without them being so po'd they won't give me a reference? I've never quit a job before so I'm a little nervous, especially since MB and DB are a little intense. Thank you!

12 comments:

Aries said...

It bothers me that parents get all upset and mad when a nanny wants to do something to further herself and go to classes and get a good education. but sadly most don't they only care about the inconvinence the nanny is for quitting.

You're doing the right thing and it'll pay off in the long run. As far as advice, I'm going to leave that open to other readers because i haven't a CLUE, Lol. Just came here to tell you not to feel guilty for leaving a family and going back to school!

Nanny who loves her career!! said...

Maybe sit with the parents and talk with them. maybe you can set a schedule that allows both. If they don't want you to better yourself; for school. Then they are not the right family for you. Good Luck!

Mrs. Edith said...

Did you already tell them you would stay at least a year? Even if you did not have a contract, I would understand if they were upset.

However, I am with you on this. You need to live your life for YOU and make decisions for YOU and better yourself. Follow your dreams and just let this family know you are sorry, but that there is a change of plans and you have things you need to do.

You have a bright future ahead of you. Go for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Village said...

It doesn't matter what they think.

In a year, they probably won't even remember your name. You'll be the nanny that left that time.

GO TO SCHOOL! Good luck! I bet you'll be a fine nurse, a profession where caring makes a difference.

ELam said...

Any way you can fit your work schedule around your class schedule? Sit and talk with them, tell them what your plans are and that if possible you'd like to keep working for them on maybe a part-time basis or something (if it's possible and if that's what you want to do).

If you verbally agreed to a year then I can understand how they're going to be upset. But you have no contract, so they can't hold you to it.

Either stay with them a year and get out and start school later than you wanted or quit now and don't expect to get a reference out of them.

ELam said...

Just wanted to add, don't put your dreams on hold for a nanny job. NOT WORTH IT. You will only become resentful and miserable on the job.

Bethany said...

Agree with what's been said. Besides there's no gurantee you'll get a good reference from them if you stay a year and work your but off.

Trust me they would have no problem kicking you to the curb . Think if that were to happen and on top of having no job you'd put your dream on hold.

I wouldn't worry to much about a reference nursing school is a killer your best bet would be to take on part time at CVS or something.

Do you girl!

StrawberryShortKakes said...

I can see how they would be a little upset with you leaving before your year commitment was up but oh well. It's not like you took the job knowing that you were going to quit in less than a year. I would sit them down and tell them that. I would not put your RN on hold for a nanny job. They will find a new nanny and be able to move on. The only thing you can really do is give them a good amount of time to find someone new. I am betting that if you put off school and stuck around at your job then you'd regret it and not be happy. Go for it!

MissMannah said...

Don't worry about the reference, especially if you've already been accepted to the nursing school. If it is possible to work PT for the family and go to school, that would be great, but don't count on it. You'll probably just have to quit, do it in writing and give as much notice as possible. Be prepared to get fired on the spot because the parents might get royally pissed. (Deservedly so, if you think about it.) But talk to them calmly and offer to help them find a replacement. Talk about how you can't turn down this awesome opportunity and how you have cherished this time with them. (blah blah, sucking up helps) You might be able to get a letter of recommendation out of them.

chopperclaus said...

Have you already been accepted into the nursing program?? Those are usually VERY competitive and can take 2-3 yrs to get in...at least. Waiting lists are pretty normal at least where I'm from, and the fact you don't even have your prereqs done makes me think you're not even in the program yet.

I'd get your life together, get a letter of acceptance and financial aid awards in your hands before doing anything with regards to quitting. Then I would sit down with them,tell them that you've decided you like working with kids so much that you want to pursue an RN and hope to work in pediatrics. In order to make that happen you need to do xyz which means you need to modify your schedule (or quit) at X date. But make sure you have your plan figured out FIRST because things may not go the way you think they will as far as passing your prereqs and getting into the program right away.

Also, even if you did have a contract with the family they couldn't force you to work for them. Nannies are ALWAYS at will employees, not indentured servants. You can leave or they can fire you at any time and for any reason.

NannyNannyNannie said...

Hmmmm, what ever happened to integrity and standing by your word. I mean I can see clearly, how you would want to take advantage of the classes, however it would be a lesson to not make verbal contracts and promises you can't keep. I can't tell you how many times I have sacrificed my own life, because I made a commitment (That I shouldn't of made in the first place) That is one thing about me, if I make a promise or commitment I stand by it.

Now, what I would do, is mention to them, that you are standing by your commitment to them. If they are decent people, they will work with you.I've never had a family not work with me when something such as this comes up. It's a win/win. You honestly tried to keep your promise and they feel good about helping you.

If they aren't reasonable, then you could just quit and never use them for a reference.

As someone who has been in the nanny profession for over 20 years and a parent, I would bend over backwards to please my Nanny if such a opportunity came up for her.

Good luck.

Bethany said...

So I just reread this. You haven't even taken and passed your prereqs yet. If the RN program you are interested in is like most RN programs you've missed the application deadline to start in August and those prereqs must be done when you apply , and you can only take the nursing classes if you're in the program.
You might have more time than you think. You probably have until the end of fall semester to get those done and apply for the RN program starting 2013. So you might end up working for them a bit longer than you planned.

Sit down with mom & dad and explain your new goal. They may be willing to work around your schedule.

See if you can take the equivalent of your prereqs at another college in your area that might offer the classes at times that fit into your current schedule. Some offer late evening, weekend, online or hybrid classes.

I hope everything works out for you with your job & school.