In the Best Interest of a Child
Why have children? That is a question that I often ask myself when I deal with my current nanny situation on a day to day basis. Is it to adhere to a biological need, to satisfy your partner, or in the worst case situations, a 'mistake'. I am not sure which situation occurred to my employer, however, what I am sure of is that my employer is in no way, shape, or form ready for the the task of parenthood. I work only Monday-Friday but stress about the weekends because I know my charge has to spend them with DB, who is their primary custody parent. During this time my charge is often unbathed, eats take out food, watches plenty television etc. As a caregiver it is a hard position to be in as you care so much about the child however have no control over the matter.
During the week the DB does not clean up (dishes, personal laundry, kitchen messes, food, garbage removal) nor does DB get groceries even if a list is left... Yet time and time again, I notice that personal purchases are made (new video games, movies, adult beverages) etc. It puzzles me how one can go out and buy this, yet not ensure there is lunch/dinner options for the child on hand. My charge will go Friday-Monday with no bath, teeth maybe brushed (however, I know for a fact that there are times when this task isn't completed). Over the past years working in this situation, I have witnessed my charge throw up/or wet the bed on the weekend and the soiled sheets be sitting in the regular hamper with the rest of the week's laundry. The DB doesn't even have the basic knowledge to throw it in the washer and turn it on. I am not in charge of cleaning the DB's messes nor clothing, however, because I am at the house for a large portion of my life I get so disgusted and it begins to smell that I end up cleaning up after the DB all the time.
When the charge goes to their mother's residence they always smell of tobacco smoke, they seem to often have cough's, and I have mentioned to DB that I feel that MB is perhaps smoking around the child or that the situation is unclean/unhealthy for the child. The DB does not take action against MB and allows charge to still go there, regardless of the obvious health risk! I just sometimes wonder, what are parents thinking? I mean, its basic, have food for your child, keep yourself tidy/clean, keep your child/tidy clean, and ensure their safety, this is inclusive of health as well.
Another thing, when the holiday's come around, the DB does not invest in a Christmas tree, or other holiday decorations/activties, the DB has only this past year purchased gifts for the charge (bday-xmas). The DB has lived an extremely privileged life and in turn has no clue how the average person without 'Help' operates. Yes, I make great money, and have fantastic benefits. However, I am beginning to wonder, what happens when I leave [as that time is soon coming], then who will care for my charge and for sure they won't put up with half of the nonsense that I do.
On a final note, I am employed by a wealthy family member whom employs me as a favour to the family. Thus, I feel like a rock in a hard place, for if I say anything to my financial employers I may lose my job or cause tensions between myself, them, and the DB. I want to talk to the DB but he is not good with confrontation and will for sure take it the wrong way. How else can you state the above issues without causing tension? I really think that DB just wants me to watch the child, provide the best care, keep quiet about everything else, and mind my own business. But I feel that I am emotionally invested and am the only person who is honestly looking out for the best interests of the child. HELP!
at 5:19 AM