Help Grandmother's Helper with Advice

opinion 1
I have a dilemma that I need to deal with and I really would appreciate any input from both parents and nannies. Okay, about two months ago, I accepted a job as a Grandmother's Helper. My job is to help a Grandmother care for her three small children, 2 infants and a preschooler. I initially interviewed with one of the daughters. She was very friendly and explained the job to me. It would be three days a week, for 8 hrs each and I would be basically an "extra set of hands" for the Grandmother (her mother.) We agreed I would be paid ten dollars an hr and that it would be strictly childcare ONLY... no household duties, which is great. I then met the Grandmother whom I hit it off with immediately and they even gave me a "working interview" for 6 hrs to see if this was something I wanted to do.

In a nutshell, they did everything right. They explained the job to me correctly, we agreed on pay and they stressed during the interview that it was important that I stick around to give the children some consistency. My problem? I hate the job!! I accepted it since I had been actively seeking a position for around eight months and was really behind in my bills. At the time, I was really desperate for any job so I accepted. I honestly thought I would like the job, etc. Why do I hate my job? It's tough working alongside a Grandmother who likes to be the Alpha at ALL times. If the toddler falls down and cries, the Grandmother gets upset at me for not "paying adequate attention to her." If the preschooler hurts the infant, I am again reprimanded for not doing my job again. I can't live with the anxiety of always being on edge... hoping the kids don't fall, or get in to anything they are not supposed to, etc... for if they do, it is ALL on me.

It has been getting worse and worse and I wish I could throw in the towel, but since they really wanted someone who could stick around, I feel guilty leaving after two months. But I dread going to work and hate being on edge all day hoping the kiddos don't get hurt. This Grandmother should realize that all children will fall when learning to walk and that siblings do fight. No matter how well you watch them, sometimes they are too quick. I am not a parent yet, however I have taken many child development courses and was taught this. I really want to quit this job, I have work on Tuesday (today is Monday) and I am tired of dreading going to work. It sucks. What should I do? Should I stick it out since they did everything right and I am the one in the wrong by changing my mind? Should I try talking to the daughter or Grandmother myself? Or should I just quit and move on since this anxiety is killing me? Thank you guys in advance for your advice. I will take it. I was also wondering if you thought ten dollars an hour was enough? Initially, I thought it would be okay... but after a looong day at work, feedings, changing diapers, playdates at the park, etc... I don't know if it is enough.


Nanny who loves her career!! said...

Yes, sit and speak with the parent and grandparent. It is very hard, working with a "parent" in the house. I don't do that anymore. Its too hard. Schedule grandma time with each child- if that works. Speak up. If that doesn't work- no worries- you will find something better. You worry about you and what is best for you. Good Luck!!

The Honey Bee said...

I agree with the first 2 responses. Try to talk it out with Grams (nicely, of course). If there is no remedy or change in behavior, move on. They'll find someone else. I can understand why you'd feel guilty, but I can't see anything good coming out of this situation. You'll resent your job more and lose motivation (not a good mix!), among other things. I don't think you'd stay if it was some other position, for instance, in retail, and your coworker made every day h*** (and there was no chance of improvement, i.e. managerial intervention, mediation, etc).

Get a job you will enjoy and where you can give your all. Best wishes.

MissMannah said...

Why would you stay with a job that you hated going to? I could understand staying if you were getting awesome pay and benefits and there was absolutely no other jobs available, but that is obviously not the case here. Don't quit on the spot, but definitely start looking around. You can try talking to the grandmother but I highly doubt it will do any good. Micro-managing parents are very difficult to deal with and I can imagine a micro-managing grandparent would be 10x worse because she probably feels that since she's done it before she has all the answers.

Aubrey said...

You are making ten dollars an hr to help a Grandma care for three young ones????? I don't know where you live, but it sounds like highway robbery to me.

CityNanny said...

You are not getting paid enough. I am actually also in a terrible/annoying situation right now myself, and I have only been there 2 months. I am actively looking for a new position, but am blessed to still have a paycheck at the moment.
I don't like it, but I haven't been necessarily dreading it like you. But I have been there, and it SUCKS. It doesn't sound like talking to the parents/grandparents would do much. I would really start looking elsewhere.