Drinking Problem & Nanny Liability

Greetings ISYN,
     I left my last job for a great job in Connecticut about four months ago. The family seems really nice. I have noticed a problem however and I wonder how it affects me as I live-in. Mom is often gone on the weekends, she plays tennis, goes shopping and gets her nails done. Dad seems to stay home a lot. He has a car he works on in his garage. The children are 1 & 4.

     I have a nanny vehicle and come and go as I like. I have noticed sometimes when I come home from an afternoon movie or shopping..usually around 4-6, that Dad is passed out on the sofa and once even on a chair in his garage area/man cave. He isn't passed out from being tired. There are always Budweiser bottles everywhere.
     I know for a fact the children go down for their nap from 1-3. I think what happens is Dad drinks like crazy then and then gets the kids up. But after he gets the kids up, he passes out. When I have found Dad passed out, the kids were:
1) downstairs alone in the basement playroom
2) the three year old was playing in Mom's make up upstairs and the 1 year old was ripping up magazines on the sofa by the Dad.
3) the 1 year old was still in her crib and the three year old was out back (unfenced) on her swing-set.

     The problem is, Mom has seen this to and she doesn't stop what she is doing. I know for a fact she has come and gone from some of the same scenes I have found. I find myself stopping what I am doing, putting the kids in  the family room with a movie. I even stayed one afternoon in the playroom because I was so upset/mad/shaken.

     The family is one of those beautiful families that everything seems perfect. Flawless house, yard, etc. I don't think they would welcome my input on this. I would love to suggest to them that they consider a weekend nanny. I have to imagine they could definitely afford it! I am so afraid of something happening to the kids, but they don't seem to have the slightest concern that this is abnormal.

Odd work situation? Email isynblog@gmail.com.

The Terminator

Ray Hartland

      We need to let our nanny of 1 year, 4 months go due to financial problems we are having. We can't afford to give her severance, but will give her two weeks notice, if she wants to stay and work. Besides a thank you letter and letter of reference, is there anything I can do for her? I just feel she is going to be very angry with us. Has anyone had that happen? When the nanny gets really angry and then you don't feel comfortable around her? If that should happen, do I rescind her ability to continue working for two weeks? She was our first and only nanny. My brother-in-law says that because she is a live in nanny we have to give her thirty days notice. Is there a legal form for this? I feel like we should put this in writing but I couldn't find anything online as a sample. We are planning to do this as soon as possible. Please help. I'm nervous. If she wants to leave right away, that is more than okay with me, I just need some sort of documentation to prove I offered her to stay 30 days? I'm very nervous about this.

Something on your mind? Email isynblog@gmail.com.

No Words...(I have)

Comic Alliance

     I'm kind of concerned what to do. First, I went snooping in my nanny's room. She had not done anything on the job to cause me curiosity, I just wondered where she went at night. She seemed to talk to a lot of different males and have a lot of time specific plans. Don't slam me, I know I shouldn't have went in her room. For the record, she has been our live-in nanny since January 17.
      Well to make a long story short, I found fetish porn that has to do with breast feeding, two breast pumps, nipple clamps and breast bondage video and porn. It was very hardcore stuff. I am uncomfortable having ANY porn in the house. I am specifically uncomfortable with this sort of fetish porn, perhaps even more so since I am still nursing my 7 month old.
     I don't know what to do but I know I want her out of my house. I know you might find this inexcusable, but doesn't this justify why we should snoop...it is MY house. I don't even know how to fire her. My husband thinks we should say the three year old went in her room looking for her, we went after the three year old and she had pulled open a drawer (revealing a trough of fetish materials).
Somebody please help. We reside in a right to work state, so I believe we can fire her at will.

isynblog@gmail.com

Pampered Chef

   

     We have a live-in nanny for the first time ever. She has been with us two months. There are some issues that we need to work on, but one that I don't know how to address is with food. As a live-in, she eats her meals here. She grocery shops for me, which is helpful. The problem I see is with her meal times. The children are on a regular schedule so they eat their meals as breakfast when they get up, lunch mid day and dinner around 6. The nanny has breakfast at 10, lunch around 3 and dinner at around 8 or 9. I didn't think to address this in the beginning because it never occurred to me. There are a couple of problems with this. The first is that she cooks her meals during what I would think would be working time. When she schedules a play date or appointment, it is either around her meal schedule or at our house and during. The second problem is that my children, 2 and almost 4, sample in her meals. If they eat breakfast at 8, I don't like this habbit of the second breakfast followed by lunch followed by a second lunch. The third problem is that when I have suggested that she makes her meals in advance, she got upset and asked "Why don't I deserve fresh food". When I followed up with a suggestion that the warm weather would make it ideal for her to pack lunches for all three and go to the playground, she asked me, "Where would I eat?" I suggested she eat on a picnic blanket with the children or a picnic table. She replied that it was bad for digestion to eat on the run and made me feel like I was suggesting something outlandish. She's worked as a nanny before. She takes the children to the park, I know she sees other nannies lunch with their charges. It has been two months and she seems very rigid in her eating routine. The last problem is that she cooks her main meal at around 8. She gets off at 7 when my husband and I come home. This is causing my husband and I to fall into a pattern of taking the children upstairs, putting them to bed and staying upstairs until she is done. I have no problem with the expense of the food, but I can't live like this.