30 September, 2011

Upper West Side 67th street and Central Park West, NY

bad nanny sighting
Upper West Side 67th street and Central Park West (just inside Central Park)
Wednesday, September 28
2:30
See picture for stroller and nanny appearance

This nanny was asleep while propping up the bottle for the baby. (I was able to get close enough to tell by her breathing). She did not appear to be dozing, she seemed pretty soundly asleep.


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29 September, 2011

West Palm Beach Science Museum, Fla.

bad nanny sighting 5 I have seen this nanny more than once at the museum. She is thin, darker skin, and I think speaks Spanish only. She does not speak to the girl she takes care of. They were in the snack/vending area with the girl eating in silence - with the nanny sitting there with her hands in her lap. The nanny always smiles at me with my kids and the first time tried to assess if they were my own. I often have wanted to report her for being so hands-off or not stimulating or even really warm to the girl she cares for. I was thankful to find this site. (I was about to make my own site.)

5th Ave along Central Park, NY

Bad Mommy or Bad Nanny? I was on a bus going down 5th Ave along Central Park about 5:30 pm on Wednesday, 9/14 & saw a young woman with long wavy red hair with a baby with red curly hair. The baby was leaning forward in his stroller. She grabbed him by the forehead and aggressively pushed him back. My 1st thought was that this woman could hurt the kid's brain with that aggressive movement to his head. Given that the woman and baby both had wavy red hair, maybe it was a relative and not a nanny.

Catty Cop is Causing Chaos Over Condo

opinion 2 I'm writing for some advice from other families/caregivers.

In May of this year, I entered into a new family (a single mother and her 4-year old son) as their nanny. From the beginning, the mother called me a "babysitter", and even though I would nicely correct her, it always bothered me. I've wondered about her respect for my position due to the fact that she doesn't use the word "nanny" or seem to understand the difference between the two. I worked three days a week, for ten-hour shifts, from May until now. I have never called off sick, even though I have been under the weather a few times (a flu that went around my area hit me twice, but I went to work and stayed as interactive but distanced from her child as I could, and she wouldn't LET me have the day off anyway.) I have been 10-15 minutes early every shift, and I have stayed after my shift ends to talk with his mother for a while or show her things we did during the day. I have cleaned her house and helped her pack for an upcoming move, as well as taken care of the child on days off when his father bailed on plans. I have been available at the last minute, I have taken care of him while he's sick, and I thought I was becoming a well-respected member of the family.

In late July, the mother found a house she wanted to buy and informed me that she was going to rent her condo. I immediately jumped at the opportunity, and we made a verbal agreement then that I would rent her place but pay in work. (Meaning, I'd work my three days a week and that would be my "rent payments", and I would never actually get cash/check from her again while I was involved in a lease with the condo.) She has written up three different leases and made the entire situation a nightmare since we agreed to it. I have had the move-in date pushed back 6 times, with my most current move-in date being the "second week of October." During this time, her son was supposed to start Kindergarten, but the school decided he was too young and asked her to wait another year. This was in September. I immediately started bringing over education materials, working on more academics than I had before, and trying to help his self-esteem after being "kicked out" of his first year of school. He has been an emotional wreck due to the upcoming move and the school problems, and I've been doing my absolute best to make sure he's okay. On top of this, I have been scrambling to put together the money to rent the condo, as well as shopping for furniture/groceries to make the place a home, and I pushed back my re-admittance into college until winter because I didn't want to start school and move in the same month. She knows all of these things, as we have become very close and I have been very open with the way I spend my days off.

Yesterday, she sent me a text in the afternoon, saying that she didn't need me today because the boy was going to spend the day with his grandmother. I responded and asked her what the occasion was, and to have a good day at work, and never heard back. Today, I received a text that asked me to call her after 5pm. When I did, I didn't get an answer so I left her a message saying that I got her text, was calling back, and hoping everything was okay. She then texted me, telling me that she has no money to pay for a house and her mortgage at the condo (which, technically, I would be paying for through child-care), that she couldn't afford a sitter, and that I wasn't needed anymore. Then, she said that her condo association didn't want a renter in her place, so I wasn't going to be allowed to move into the condo either. I know this is not the case, as I have spoken to her condo association and they already gave me the okay to rent it. So she's trying to get rid of me, very clearly. I took some offense, but I politely asked her when I could pick up the $220 for the four days I haven't received payment on yet. She responded that she wasn't sure, and she would "send me a check in the mail." The last paycheck I got from her, about two weeks ago, bounced at the bank and it took me three days to get repaid. So I'm not feeling very confident about her ability to send me a check, due to lack of money and sheer laziness. (She has also underpaid me twice, and once actually refused to pay me for a weekend day.) I have texted her multiple times saying I need an exact date and I need her to confirm what she owes me, and she finally responded hours later saying that she needs my social security number. I asked her why, and she said "For taxes, of course." I know she is being threatening at this point, trying to make me think that I'm going to have to give back money or something, but I'm just furious and feel very disrespected. I do not want to give her my social security number, I just want my payment for the last four days and honestly, I do need the money.

What should I do? Should I file a claim in court over this? Should I call the cops? The only problem with that is that she, my boss, IS a cop. She works for our county and is a well-respected member of the police force. I have saved her texts regarding this, so I have some proof over the situation, but I don't know what my next step is. Has anyone dealt with a boss that refused to pay/made receiving pay very difficult? Do any mothers feel justified in the idea that this woman wouldn't pay me? As far as I know, I have done nothing wrong/nothing to offend her. Her child loves me, her neighbours were all excited for me to move into the place, and I'm a very well-liked person. I've given 110% in this position and honestly thought I was becoming friends with the mother.

(Note: I'm 26-years old and I have been a nanny for four families over 8 years. I have maintained excellent relationships with each family and am frequently asked to come to parties, last-minute babysitting, or sent nice greetings for holidays/my birthday. They have all given me amazing references and, with the exception of this position, I have never been fired from any job ever, including retail. I honestly do not feel as though I have done something wrong and I do believe that she's having financial difficulties, but from the moment my position was terminated she has been extremely catty/childish and is making this very hard on me, not to mention how hard it'll be on the little boy when he realizes I'm not coming back.)

(Also: She did this to her last nanny, in a way. Her next-door neighbour was her nanny before me, and on a weekend she interviewed/hired me and fired the girl the morning of her next shift. I have had a very uncomfortable relationship with that one woman ever since. I don't know if money was withheld, but I know she felt blind-sided by being fired ten minutes before she was due to watch the child.)

Nanny Can't Shake that Uneasy Feeling

opinion 2 Hey, I recently started a nanny position on a trial basis (3 weeks and 3 days a week) the job sounded great. I did one day and liked the job, and I've been there 2 days. On the second day I got to meet the outgoing nanny which went well, but as I asked her questions about the job, I got slightly uneasy. She did not have a nanny agreement, does all the family laundry despite the fact they have a cleaning service, and cooks elaborate meals for the family.

I am going to meet with the mom soon, for more about the job requirements, but the lack of a nanny agreement concerns me, and that they may take advantage of me at this job. The outgoing nanny seems to have enjoyed the job but I can't shake the uneasy feeling that the job is not a good fit for me. Apart from talking to the parents more, are there any suggestions anyone has for me? I have been in situations in the past where I took a job just because I needed one so bad that I ignored warning signs and regretted it later. Sorry for the rambling but it has been upsetting me and I wanted fellow nannies advice on the job as I do not have any close friends who are nannies. Thanks very much.

Taking Care of Our PT Nanny...

opinion 2 Several months ago I was searching for a babysitter to help me with my son while I get some work done at home (I'm a PT WAHM). At the same time, Family A was helping their nanny acquire additional hours because they'd just cut her schedule from M-Thurs to 3 days per week. (The nanny works another job in another industry on Friday and Saturday.) Anyway, the nanny interviewed well, so I came to hire her at $15 per hour for work on her day off from Family A. At first we started with a few hours of help, but she was wonderful and soon it came to be the entire day, 9a-5p. I think she's really great. I buy her lunch every week. When her Family A needs to switch days with me or needs her the whole M-Thurs, I never complain. After all, that is her main job and she is their nanny, right? If she stays with us until Christmas, I plan to give her a very nice bonus. Well, our family travels out of town 3-4 times per year. We are out about 2 weeks at a time. We told her about the traveling up front.

I give as much advance notice as possible, I tell her as soon as we know the dates. The first time we went away, the nanny had been with us only a month and working a few hours, so I really thought nothing of it. Now she has been with us 4 months, 9-5, and we are going away again. I know a FT, salaried nanny gets this time paid, as well as benefits, etc. But what happens in a PT, one day a week situation like this? Can anyone give some advice or share their experience with PT positions?

There is Strength in Numbers... Rise Up, Nannies!

opinion 2 Hi fellow nannies. As we all know, there are some great things about being a nanny. The strong bond you form with the children, the accomplished feeling you have after a long day's work, and the paycheck at the end of the week are great perks, just to name a few. On the other hand, there are also things that we don't particularly like about our jobs. As a frequent visitor to this website, there are common themes that I often see. The one that sticks out in my mind, because it hits so close to home, is the general topic of being taken advantage of. It seems that us nannies are always subject to this, even if we have an agreement with the family as to what hours we are SUPPOSED to be working, what our duties are SUPPOSED to be, etc.

Personally, I find myself using the terms "of course I can", "no problem", and "I'd be happy to" far too many times. Before you go off and say that I am a pushover (which I'd partly agree with you on) I know that I am not the only one! For me, the biggest problem I have is with hours always being inconsistent. I understand life is not predictable and things happen (there is traffic on the way home, there was a line at the store, etc) but it just seems to me that hours being extended happens way too often, and not just to me. It happens to you too, admit it :) It's difficult to plan things outside of work when you don't know when you will be done working. Also, although this doesn't happen to me, as my household duties are (thankfully) very limited, a lot of nannies get chores added on little by little, and before you know it, they are running the whole house! I always try to be as helpful as I can be (especially while the children are napping) but I also don't want the family to expect that I will clean everything, thereby putting more pressure on me. Countless times I have read that nannies end up focusing more on housework and less on the children. And that isn't good.

So, my question for all of you is how you happy nannies out there prevent this from happening to you? I find it particularly difficult to say no, especially to someone's face. I also feel badly because I know this person is paying me and I don't know where to draw the line. It is one thing to be helpful and flexible but it is another thing for someone to walk all over you. I must say that in my current job, this doesn't happen too often but it has happened to me a lot in the past. I think a lot of us can benefit from the advice from those of you who feel as though they are being compensated for their work and not being taken advantage of. Thanks!

27 September, 2011

What Would Be a Fair On-Call Asking Price?

opinion 2 I have a unique situation that I would like some advice on. I am a FT nanny but I also babysit on the side for a few families. There is one family that I babysit for at least 3-4 times a month. They have a 2 year old and are expecting their second child in January.

This family asked me if I could be their on-call person to come and stay with the 2 year old if they go into labor during the night or on the weekend (they have childcare options during the weekdays.) I told them yes, of course.

They asked what I would charge and I told them that they could pay me my regular hourly rate ($15/hr) or we could figure out an overnight rate. They told me they did not think that was fair to me. They said it will be an inconvenience to me because they will be asking me to not go out of town during the time frame of her due date. They said they would like to pay me a fee for being "on-call." They asked me to think about what might be fair.

I have no idea what to say. At first I thought that they did not need to pay me in addition to hours worked, but the more I think about it, I am sacrificing to be on-call. It is not unusual for me to take weekend trips out of town (I have family that I visit frequently that live 3hrs away) or have a few drinks on a Friday night. Not that I drink a lot, I'm just saying, I obviously won't be having a few glasses of wine in my off time if I think someone may be calling me in to work.

Has anyone ever had an experience like this? What is a fair rate for me to ask? I want to be reasonable and fair as well. Thanks for any suggestions!

24 September, 2011

A Day in the Life, Nanny Horror Story, and Rant... all Rolled into One!

opinion 2 So I had just finished a summer live in job which was mostly a good experience. I am beginning to see no matter who I nanny for there will be at least a few things I find less than convenient, but that's a given. I quickly found another family needing a live in with 3 school aged children, one being special needs. We discussed the job over the phone, and had a face to face interview. I wanted to be paid by the hour, however we agreed to 25 -30 hours/wk, $250/wk, and a contract. I mentioned I was a little burned by the last family throwing extra hours on me without warning or getting paid so she agreed any extra time would be properly compensated. She was very friendly and reassuring that I would not be taken advantage of. The whole process went very quickly, I was hired on the spot (I usually am, I AM great with kids) and I was to start the following week. I moved in with a good feeling, the kids were fun and loving, my room very spacious and away from the childrens playing area....Or so I thought...I woke up to kids banging on drums above my room...Okay okay, I can take that, it IS an improvement from being woken at 6am every morning to children yelling outside my door at the last job...I can take 7am. What I can't take, however, is how I'm suddenly told I am only being paid 200/wk, I am expected to do household chores on my free time, and my hours are never really set. Oh and the contract? What contract....The children are not disciplined, they hit, yell, call names, and tell me no 48603596809475 times a day. I mentioned having a difficult time keeping up with getting the special needs child ready for school as we were running late and he was not cooperating. (I have to get very creative and make a game out of everything) I was told basically to get out of his face, as if it's all my fault.....I WAS only asking for help.

An average work day:

*Starting at 7:30 - assist with children getting off to school
*Bedroom - Clean, make beds, open blinds, turn off night lights and fan... (why half of this isn't done when they wake up is beyond me)
*Check laundry - fold and put away anything in dryer, switch over clothes from washer... tend to laundry throughout day
*Clean kitchen - wash down all counter tops, load dishwasher and hand wash any pots/pans or large knives/utensils
*Make a walk through of house to make sure nothing is out of place
*Off until sometime in afternoon when children return home (varies)
*Find additional chores on note when getting lunch
*Unpack backpacks, wash containers from school lunches while...
*Making snack for each child as they arrive home
*Children engage in videos/ipad/wii... and I take that opportunity to get things organized
*By now it's 4, time to play outside! No, wait, I'm supposed to get them to their homework! Wait wait! They scream if they cant have their veg out time, mom is okay with that! AHHHHHHH.
*Dinner - Sometimes I fix it, sometimes I don't....
*Bathe children, brush teeth, read "adventure story" (I make them up, use their names as the the characters) SLEEPY TIME. (I put them to bed most nights)
*Clean kitchen **See above + sweep floors
*Assist oldest child with homework that didn't get done earlier
*Clean playroom
*Read with oldest child, usually make snack
*Finally finished 9 - 9:30

Everything is subject to change, including work schedule. Out of the 6 weeks I have been here only 2 of them were within the agreed hours (29.5hrs) and I was only paid extra (at same rate) once in the beginning. Sunday is my only full day off.

Oh yeah, btw mom and dad is around half the time, so I always have them hanging over me. A lot of times I stand around feeling stupid because they take over but I'm still supposed to be there. On top of that they are so particular about things it drives me nuts. I could go on and on but I think you have a good idea about how this job is going for me. I found out shortly after starting the last nanny left after a month, now I know why!! I feel like I have no time to myself because of my hours, I miss my boyfriend, I'm tired and disheartened. Don't get me wrong, I love the kids, and dont even mind a challenge. I just feel like I can't do anything right, and this whole job is so so wrong...There is way too much expected of me and I am not at all happy doing it with how little I am paid.

In your honest opinion....

Am I over worked?
Am I underpaid/what SHOULD I be paid?
Would discussing the problems I have with them help? (I don't actually feel comfortable doing so)
Would it be immoral of me to up and leave without warning, considering the circumstances?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated...

Also one last Q... where did you find your job? Can you refer some good places? I have used mainly Craigslist. (I also use Care and Sittercity)

Thanks for reading...

Hubby Embarrassed Over Hoochie Nanny's Attire

opinion 2 Our nanny of one year continues to wear incredibly short, tight, shorts, the highest high heels you have ever seen and skimpy tops with plunging necklines... and she is obese. I have asked my wife on several occassions to speak with her about her attire. Even my wife's parents are aghast at her attire. Bizzarley (is that a word), my wife feels that we should "let her be who she is." When she came to pick up one of my children at my office, I was truly embarrassed and several of my staff members commented (negatively) about her appearance. Also, we have four boys aged 6-12 yrs! Please, someone comment and set my wife straight!

Non-Confrontational Nanny Needs a Pay Raise

opinion 2 Advice on asking for a raise...

Hello everyone!! So I'll get right to it, I've been working for this family for a year and 3 months now. I was hoping for a raise after I hit the one year mark, but it's been 3 months since then and no talk of such raise has ever come up.

Here are the details:

When I first started, I was hired as a part time nanny for the school year but I would start in the summer to get to know the family. There are 3 boys who are now 6, 11 and 13. I was told that there were 2 dogs and I would occasionally care for them (fill the water and food bowls, let them out, etc.) over the school year my hours would be approximately 2-7pm. I would pick them up, help them with hw, make them simple dinners. Let me be clear, I love my job and I love the kids, but I feel that the longer I've been with the family, the more has been expected of me, and it's gotten to the point where I feel I deserve a raise. Since I started, I realized that 2-7 really meant 2-whenever the parents are done with work...which is rarely before 7. I sleep over a lot more, which includes putting the boys to bed (no easy feat since they each need me to individually put them to bed and scratch their backs and heads- it's a 2 hour process to get the 3 of them to bed), making sure they shower, making breakfast, preparing lunch, getting them dressed and dropped off at school. The kids need a lot of hw help. So much that it's hard to make dinner on time and give each kid attention and playtime. And if everything can't get done they complain to their mom that I didn't play with them (which makes me look awful). I understand kids need hw help every once and awhile, but I come from a family where I never received any help and have a big "suck it up and do it" attitude, and these children get so stressed out that at least 2 or 3 times a week I have to calm one of them down from having a meltdown over hw...while dinner is burning on the stove of course. Also, the oldest child has a learning disability so I think he really needs a private tutor who is trained. It's also expected that I go grocery shopping once a week for the kids and basic family needs.

Please don't think I'm lazy or uncaring. Whenever my boss asks me to run an errand I always say "sure no problem," if they need me to stay late I always do, anytime they ask me to come in over the weekend, I always agree. If I'm at home and the oldest kid txts me asking me to pick up some art supplies from the store so we can use them the next day, I make sure to do it. I feel that I've made myself so available to the family, that they now expect me to do everything.

Lately I've been working 2-9 even 10pm. So it's usually a 40hr work week. I'm sleeping over for two separate weeks (all week long) while both parents are away on business. MB has informed me that work has been crazy and she really needs me to be flexible, which I responded "of course, no problem, my schedule is free.". I think my tipping point was the new dog. They recently bought a new puppy who is in the process of being house trained but who still pees everywhere and aggravates the other dogs. It's a headache taking care of the 3 dogs and the 3 boys all at the same time.

Am I selfish to ask for a raise? How should I go about it? I've always been super non confrontational. But I think I deserve a raise. Thanks in advance for the advice :)

Overly Paranoid or Justifiably Leery?

opinion 2 I have a dilemma I would like to run past your readers:

I recently interviewed for a full-time live out nanny position. I was told that four times a year, the family spends two weeks out of the country and my services would not be needed. I was asked how I wanted to handle this... options suggested by the family were maybe work for a little bit less per hour throughout the year but receive that reduced rate of pay even when the family is out of the country, or work for my [higher] standard hourly rate but be unpaid when they leave the country.

I'm not thrilled with either option, and would like to hear ideas from other nannies on how to handle this. I don't want it to be a deal breaker if everything else is good, but geez... laid off two months per year?

Also, I have a few other concerns regarding this position that I'd like to hear some input on:

- This is a couple with a first & only child, an 8-month-old girl (First red flag: first-time parents, apt to be overly neurotic.)

- They've never had a nanny before. (Second red flag: no experience with a nanny-employer relationship.)

- The father works from home. (Third red flag: a WAHP! Speaks for itself!)

- The father is a second generation immigrant from Greece and the mother is a first generation immigrant from China. (Fourth red flag: will there be cultural differences that might complicate our relationship?)

On the plus side, they live practically around the corner from me, so there'd be no commute time. And the pay is good.

We've only had one interview so far, and it was over the phone, so I haven't met them in person yet. What do you all think? Am I being overly paranoid or justifiably leery?

After Bomb is Dropped, Nanny's Jaw Follows

opinion 2 Hello! I'm 23 yr old college grad who recently became disillusioned with my career path in marketing and decided to try something completely different by responding to a Craigslist ad for a decently paying, live-out nanny gig. Upon calling the listed number, I spoke with a woman who informed me that this family was fabulously wealthy (multiple times) and required a full-time nanny who spoke fluent German. So far, so good. Then she went on to tell me that because this family is so fabulously wealthy that they were going to pay $15 per hour, plus bonuses for doing a good job. This description is getting better by the second, I think to myself! I'd be making more as an inexperienced nanny than I was as a degree-toting marketing coordinator. Then, the lady drops this bomb: There is a combined total of 8 children. First of all... wtf 8 kids? Are they the children of a famous Austrian sea captain who respond by whistle calls? And what does this lady mean by "combined"? Second of all, this woman very freely volunteered information that this family is very wealthy, so how on earth would it seem appropriate to charge a measly $15 for 4x the amount of children it would normally account for? Now, I do not know the ages or circumstances of this family because it sounded like the lady I was speaking to wanted to keep the conversation brief and leave the details for an interview tomorrow. Needless to say, I'm definitely going on that interview because I am so curious!!

My question is primarily this: Assuming these kids are, let's say, 14 and younger, is $15 ph an appropriate amount of money for a live-out nanny?? Is it even appropriate if the kids are 17 and younger? I feel like the common sense answer would be NO WAY, but because I am new to this industry I would get a consensus about nanny wages per kid / per age. And just for my frame of reference, have any of you worked for a family of more than 5 children? Was it manageable, or did it drive you bonkers? Were you paid more than $15 ph?

Thanks for your help, and I will TOTALLY be updating you guys on the details of this family tomorrow when I get back from the interview.

19 September, 2011

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67th St. in Central Park Playground, UWS - NY

bad nanny sighting I saw this post on the UWS mom's group. One of the moms suggested emailing your site with it:

I generally do not like "tattling" on nannies, but I was part of a rather upsetting situation on the playground at 67th in Central Park today around 10:30/11:00am. (note: incident occurred Wednesday, September 15th)

A girl (dressed in all pink with a ruffle pink flower on her shirt and blonde hair) was climbing alone up the high ladder to the twisty slide. When she reached the high platform she lost her balance and fell on her head. She was beyond hysterical and was bleeding from her mouth. Since I was the closet adult I rushed over to her. Several other parents and caregivers then rushed over as well because they were so startled by the fall, one parent was ready to call an ambulance, however, none of the adults who rushed over were her caregiver. So I started to to yell on the playground who was responsible for a little blonde girl dressed in pink. Several minutes passed and the little girl's nanny (dressed in a long sleeve gray shirt and jeans) strolls over (with another small girl dressed in pink in tow) not seeming all that concerned. She took her to the water fountain to wipe her mouth and did not leave the park. It seemed like a bad enough fall that it might warrant some medical attention.

Again, I hate "tattling" on others, but I just felt as a parent I would like to know if this happened to my child.

I Guess I'll Sleep When I Retire...

opinion 2 So I need advice. Basically I started a before school/after school job just as college started. It originally worked very well around my college schedule and seemed fair enough, bring the seven year old child to school at 8 in the morning, collect at 3 and stay til' 5:30, five days a week? Not bad right? I'd have to work weekends once a month as well. During this month, I have been "trained" basically by the grandmother who was still there, soon returning to her own country while the mother would stay behind with the child and work. Note also that she is a single parent.

Now two things became very apparent when I began working. First off, the mother was very anal about the house to an extreme degree. The house had to be fully hoovered every single day, the bath cleaned, every surface cleaned on top of this. The laundry had to be done, three nights a week. I figured a job was just a job, and I'd deal with it. Food had to be done on top of it too, the child bathed every single day, put in warm clothes, not allowed to go over to friend's houses etc., clothes needed to be put out and the child's mess cleaned up after she was done playing. So yes, incredibly particular.

Also the family freaked out at me for the most random of things. I put out the wrong socks, white instead of navy, immediately made the grandmother freak out and nearly fire me. I kid you not. Not doing under the carpets, leaving dishes in the sink, not taking out the laundry the second it was done in the washing machine, all close to me nearly being fired.

I consider myself a pretty good catch for a nanny, considering I speak full English, fully literate and I am able to help the child with her studies, as I can speak two or three different languages native to the country we live in. I work for cents as well, literally probably around... 5 dollars an hour in American terms but the recession is bad here so I took what I got honestly.

Yes all of this I could deal with, until what the grandmother told me last Friday.

The hours have increased dramatically all of sudden. Suddenly I'm working 7 days a week, every week. What? Wait. Wasn't I meant to have only one weekend out of the month? Also I'm working nights. Okay. That's alright, I assumed one night a week, where I'd stay over while the mother worked from 8pm-8am. Nope, I work all weekend now apparently. I'd start work at 8am on Saturday and maybe finish at 8pm on Sunday. That's coming close to a 48hr shift. WHAT. Nevermind college, who works those hours?! I'd work some nights til' 8:30 too and I'd have to spend another night during the weekday, 8pm-8am. The grandmother told me at the beginning my hours would be solid, and only one weekend during the month. Now suddenly I'm there more then I'm at home. She wants me long-term, too. Suddenly it looks like I won't be sleeping properly til' I retire. Now I ask you, am I being ridiculous myself, or is it my employer who is being ridiculous?!

Looking for an opinion on this. If you could post it, that would be awesome.

14 September, 2011

Is Paying for Nanny's Cab Fare Fair?

opinion 2 Is it typical for a family to pay for a taxi after a certain time at night? Is it something you would bring up? I babysat for a family last night and they got home a little after 1am. I decided to just take a taxi home because waiting for the train could take a long time and I also didn't feel completely safe taking it home by myself that late at night. They didn't pay me extra for the taxi so I ended up spending a little over an hours worth of my pay that night on the taxi. I was bummed about that! I live in NYC if that makes any difference.
in the news
Sitter Dies and Lands on Long Island Infant - New York
A morbidly obese Long Island baby sitter accidentally smothered to death a month-old infant when she collapsed and died on the couch where the child was lying, authorities said yesterday.

Teresa Coffey, who was 5-foot-6 and over 200 pounds, was found on top of little Michael Baldwin III on Thursday at around 9:30 p.m. by the boy's horrified father, and both were pronounced dead at a hospital near the Greenlawn home.

"I searched every room," Baldwin tearfully recounted yesterday. "I was saying his name, 'Michael! Michael!' " When his search failed, Baldwin said he returned to the living room, where Coffey, 39, was "slumped on the couch, face down, her knees on the floor . . . I just had this funny feeling she was on top of him. (Please click link to continue reading)

Live-In Baby-Sitter Arrested for Alleged Child Abuse - California
"I just wanted to strangle the guy, and he walked around you know. He was so calm."

Raw reaction from neighbor Tina Marshall, after she saw stunning injuries to a 3-year-old boy, who police say, was in the care of his 23-year-old babysitter, Samuel Charles Flores.

"His eyes were open. They were glazed over. He was foaming at the mouth," Marshall said.

Police say Flores was drunk when he poured scalding water on the boy to discipline the toddler. "He was burnt from the top of his neck all the way down to his butt. The burns were so severe that the skin was pulled away from his back," Marshall said. (Please click link to continue reading)

11 September, 2011

Carroll Gardens Library - Brooklyn, NY

bad nanny sighting I'm in the Carroll Gardens Library, now known as a circle of hell due to the screaming children known as Mia and Jemma. I know their names because the nanny and older child will not stop screeching. I'm watching three nannies allowing the children to run and scream in a library. The lump watching the lovely Mia and Jemma is wearing a mint green sweater, chilling at a table, watching the children run through the stacks screaming.

ISYN Reader Needs Help Stopping Abuser

opinion 2 Hello, fellow nanny friends. I'm in the middle of a serious childcare related issue, and I'm in need of some advice. As some of you on here may know, I have a two year old daughter. Now, at the risk of tooting my own horn, my daughter is absolutely beautiful. I've have been approached multiple times since her birth from people asking if she models, and agencies wanting to represent her in various campaigns. I don't really have interest in doing this, but wanted to paint a picture for you all. Anyway I work as a full time nanny for a very high end family, and they are kind enough to let me bring my daughter along with me. Because of this, I don't have to worry about regular care for her, but have a temp nanny that I use for weekend dates, etc. The girl I hired seemed wonderful - highly educated, and with great references. We had a trial, and everything seemed great. She worked for me a handful of times, and things seemed to be going well.

However, this last time she babysat for me, things went horribly wrong. Now, I'm going to admit..I am a very overprotective mom. I decided that I would set up the best nanny cam I could afford, sound and everything, and use it the next time she sat for me. This was on Monday. That night when I got home, everything seemed fine..my daughter was freshly bathed and asleep, and the nanny told me everything went great. She left, and I went to the nanny cam feed, not expecting to find anything. I was completely disgusted with what I witnessed. The first part of the tape seemed normal - playing, watching a video, preparing dinner for my daughter. I then see my daughter sit down to eat. Now my daughter hates regular cow milk, and my nanny knew this. For reasons unknown to me, I see her pull the carton of milk I use for my coffee, and pour my daughter a glass. She pushes it towards her, and tells her to drink it. My daughter refuses, and pushes it away. My nanny stands up, and THROWS THE OPEN CUP OF MILK AT MY CHILD! She then pulls my daughter off of her chair onto the floor. She then says clear as a bell - "Not so pretty now are you, you little shit?" At this point, I am screaming and sobbing over what I just witnessed. In the tape, I can see and hear my daughter sobbing loudly on the floor. My daughter is very shy and quiet, and rarely cries, and I have never seen her in such distress. Immediately, I call the nanny, screaming at her that she is fired. I also called the agency she came from, and filed a police report against her.

My question is this: is there anything else I can do? I want to make sure she never works for another family again, but I don't know how to prevent this. Once she leaves New York State, there will be no record of what she did! Does anyone have any advice/experience (god forbid) with this? If so, I am desperate to hear it! - Nanny E

Nitpicking MB is Making Nanny Miserable

opinion 2 Hello, I am 24 years old and have been a professional nanny for over 6 years. I've worked for a variety of families, but have spent a large portion of my career working for one family in particular for the last 3 years. I work for a single mom who runs her own business, so she is often very busy, running around between home, meetings, sometimes flying across the country for days at a time while I stay with the child on overnights.

When I began working with this family 3 years ago, she was married, but they divorced shortly after. I have been caring for P (child) since she was 3 months old, and I have grown very close with the family, as we've gone through many things together. (Her divorce, my father's death, then my marriage this summer). MB has a very different temperament than my own, which I have come to appreciate in most cases. She is highly emotional, very passionate, can be somewhat high strung...very much a " type A" personality. I see these same personality traits in her daughter, and as I said before, most of the time I appreciate it. I, on the other hand, am pretty laid back, calm, and can easily "go with the flow". For the most part it seems like we've done well managing our differences, and I have always done my utmost at accommodating her.

However, the last couple of months have been somewhat rocky. We seem to continually find ourselves in conflict with one another. Most of the conflict has been about household duties. When I started this position 3 years ago, it was agreed upon in our contract that my only household duties would be P's laundry while she was napping, and taking out the diaper pale. As time passed, and everyone's situation changed, I agreed to some light household chores each day while P was napping, since MB could no longer afford her house cleaner. I vacuum, mop the floors, wipe down the counters, take out all the trash, and do P's laundry. For about 6 months now, P does not nap at all during the day, so it has been very difficult finding the time to do all of the extra chores I am now required to do. I've had to get creative and include her in the cleaning process. This hasn't been THAT big of a deal, until recently.

MB continually complains about me not cleaning well enough. I do the best I can with a 3 year old in tow, but it never seems to be good enough for her. Now that P is 3 she is learning how to care for herself more and more, which means cleaning up after herself. I make sure to have her help clean up her toys every day after we're done playing, which I thought was sufficient. A couple weeks ago MB confronted me about it, saying that her room was not clean enough at end of day. To me, it seemed like she was nitpicking...she wants all of the toys in the drawers organized, all the blocks neatly stacked under the shelf, all of P's shoes lined up neatly in her closet, etc. I feel that she is not being reasonable. When you teach a 3 year old to clean up after themselves, you are not going to get a perfectly pristine environment.

She also has other seemingly odd requests. She wants to me to keep the doors locked at all times, but she has a small dog that needs to be let out to go to the bathroom throughout the day, so there are times when I have the back door unlocked for this reason. She also recently started requesting that I wash all the pots and pans by hand rather than putting them in the dishwasher, so we don't have to run it as often. But when I finish cleaning them, she goes behind me to check my work, then complains about what a poor job I did.

Last night I felt was my tipping point. She had asked me to work late (7:30) at the the last minute, so she could attend a yoga class, and I hesitantly agreed to. Assuming that I would have until 7:30 to get P and I dinner, give her a bath, and get ready for bed, I casually paced myself throughout the day. We spent a wonderful day together at the beach, and got home just before 6 to have dinner. Just before 6:30, P is just sitting down to her dinner, MB walks through the door, home from a run. She decided not to go to yoga. She walks into the house and instantly starts complaining about the mess in P's room which she had created while I was preparing dinner. Then she walks into the kitchen and begins complaining about the mess from dinner prep (which I was in the middle of cleaning up) then proceeds to dish herself up the last of the dinner and sits down to eat with P. While I'm in the kitchen frantically cleaning up, she is in the dining room. She asks me if P's laundry is finished, and I tell her that there was a lot of laundry today and that I would have it finished by tomorrow. She then walks back into the kitchen, where she see's that the back door is not locked, no doubt because I had just let the dog out, and gets upset, telling me that she's asked me over and over again to keep the door locked. Then she walks to the counter to inspect the dishes I had just washed and gets very upset when she sees that out of 5 pots that I have just scrubbed clean, one of them had not been "properly cleaned". She then claims that I did not clean any of them at all.

The whole night was one thing after the other. It seemed as though I could do nothing right in her eyes. She was there constantly looking over my shoulder to complain about something. I feel just awful. I have done so much for this family, including dog sitting whenever she is out of town, for FREE, working my schedule around hers, and even searching for months to find another nanny position that could work with her schedule, in order to supplement my hours, which are going down this year now that P will be starting full time preschool. I do so much extra work, and have been so flexible with my time, and it seems like more and more she has nothing but bad things to say to me. It seems as though the longer a person holds a position, the better they would get at it, but it seems like she feels just the opposite. I do not recall her being so nitpicky and negative towards me in the past. And I am feeling so unsure about what to do. I love P so dearly, and her attachment to me is very strong, so I feel hesitant towards doing anything that could harm that. But I am growing more and more unhappy in this position. I've talked with MB over and over again it seems, about expectations, writing a new contract, etc. But still, I find myself in conflict with her. I need some advice!

Should Nanny Reveal Older Son is a Pothead?

opinion 2 Would you talk to your employer if you found out that his older son is smoking pot in the house where you are taking care of the youngest son?

Your Two Cents?

opinion 2 I'm planning an upcoming move to Baltimore, MD and was hoping parents or a nanny from the area could share experiences they have had with agencies there. I have only used an agency before and hope to do so again, but know they can vary in quality. Can anyone help?

Opinions on Temp Work?

opinion 2 Hey, I am looking for my next nanny position and may be able to do some temp work with an agency and I was wondering what you all thought about temp work? Have any of you other nannies done any temp work? Where were you placed? Did you like doing temp work? Anything you feel is important for others starting doing temp work? etc. Thanks everyone!

07 September, 2011

Shallow Pockets Send Nanny Off the Deep End

opinion 2 I have a problem and need some advice. I have been working for a family that I started with last year. They have one child that is about 1 1/2. I started with her at $8 an hour and when she was around 3 months old.

I have been looking for another position. I have been asking my current family, for the last three months, for a raise - (since our 1st anniversary came around) (Each time they told me "no" "we can't afford it) Like most of us, we are struggling with more money going out then coming in. I was offered another position at double what I am making now. On this website; parents have an option what you want to pay/ offer. It is multiple choice. $5-10 dollars, $10-10 or $10-15. My current MB told me she choose this one by mistake - that was the only one she could choose.

I was really excited; that is until I told my current family. My current family went off the deep end and were mad. I understand. Note: I found this family on a nanny website.

The day after I told the current family. I found the current family had re posted on the same web site for $10.00 AN HOUR. I was livid and obviously upset.

Unfortunately, the job I was suppose to take fell through. I am continuing to look; but do I stay with the current family who lied to me and hurt me deeply or do I not go back? Any advice will be helpful.

02 September, 2011

in the news...

Hannibal's Horrors: Others Tell Stories Similar to Burned Nanny's
Shweyga Mullah gestures a greeting to her visitors at Tripoli's burn hospital. Her head wrapped in fresh bandages, her frail body under a red fleece blanket, Mullah is slowly regaining her dignity.

Tears stream down her cheeks, not of pain anymore, but relief. She is grateful for all those who have helped her in her ordeal. She prays now for God to heal her and return her to her family in Ethiopia.

Mullah worked as a nanny for two of former Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi's grandchildren. When she couldn't keep one from crying, Aline, the wife of Gadhafi's son Hannibal, poured boiling water on her head. Read more.

A real Nanny Dilemma

opinion 2 I have kind of an unusal situation to discuss. I have been working as a nanny from Virginia to Boston for the past nine years. In my first nanny job, I became pregnant by my employer. I subsequently left the position and put the child, a boy up for adoption. I was only 20 at the time and worked as a live-in nanny, I had no home, family, etc. My employer is now widowed, his wife having passed to cancer and he used a private detective to find me. He now wants to find the child that was given up for adoption. I had told him I was pregnant. I had told the agency that I did not know who the father was. I am still working as a nanny, still a live-in. When I think about the fact that I have a seven year old son out there, I get overwhelmed with sadness. There is no benefit for me to get involved in this. I also have a job I like very much now and I am marrying a very religious person who does not know about the pregnancy and adoption. Do I tell him? I think I should. I think I want a restraining order against my former employer because I dont want any involvement with this. He has only been nice in contacting me, but this is too much to handle. Can I get a restraining order quietly? I don't want people to know about the reason behind it because it will reflect on my character. I was young and stupid. I live a decent and principled life now. I try to.

Co-homeschooling?

opinion 2 I am interviewing for a new position to work with my class schedule and I met a family who would like me to co-homeschool their 6 year old. I would work MWF 8-3 and MB would be planning all lessons and working with him T/TH. Has anyone ever done this before and what problems have you encountered? They seem like a good fit but I've never done any sort of homeschooling before.

Thanks!
NannyBee