Sunday

Should Nanny Reveal Older Son is a Pothead?

opinion 2 Would you talk to your employer if you found out that his older son is smoking pot in the house where you are taking care of the youngest son?

30 comments:

unicornsparkleprincess said...

nope. maybe if he was doing in front the younger kid, though. are you in charge at all of the older son? how old is he?

alex said...

I would! As long as you were absolutely sure it was pot. What if the younger kid accidently finds it? What if he decides he wants to use it? too many what ifs to not speak up.

TC said...

I would. Just say hey I believe X is smoking pot, just thought you'd like to know. That way it's up to them to say something or if they aren't upset about it that will be the end of it.

Teddy Westside said...

This is tricky to answer without more details, but based on what you've given here I'd say just inform the parents of what you've seen. Who knows, maybe they don't care if he smokes weed up in his room. Some parents are like that. Go figure

Ms. Vivienne LePeaux said...

I would not only tell your employer, I would refuse to work while in the presence of illegal activity... you don't know what position you'd be in if you were caught allowing this. It doesn't really matter whether or not your employer cares about it, you don't want to be in a vulnerable position.

another nanny said...

Yes, of course tell the parents. As someone in the childcare profession, I would not want to have any part in allowing the younger child to be exposed to marijuana (could be considered neglect in some states). Also, if the older child is engaging in risky behavior (buying drugs, etc) and you don't say anything and then something happens, how will you feel?

Truth Seeker said...

Hell Yeah!!

Amanda said...

I would! But only if I saw it. If I didn't actually see it, but saw signs, I would mention only what I knew/saw/thought as "I'm concerned because I saw this".

Wow said...

Ms. Vivienne LePeaux... I agree 100%.

Nanny of One said...

Dear OP
I would tell for sure, however I would first make sure that I had evidence. Too many times parents do not want to hear negative things about their children and sometimes the child can twist their parents arm around to make you look like the "bad guy" or that you are making things up.


I once had a job where the oldest son (14) was drinking his parents liquor and re filling it with water. When I told the parents thought I was crazy- I ended up quitting.

- nanny of One

unicornsparkleprincess said...

you can totally tell who smokes here and who doesn't...

robinsparkles said...

Hahaha, unicornsparkleprincess... I can tell by your NAME.

Yeah - what kind of a relationship do you have with this kid? Is there a way you can talk to him about it? I used to nanny mainly for an eleven-year-old, but I'd drive her fifteen-year-old brother around occasionally... during those car rides, he told me about his fake ID and evading the police and all these extreme stunts he'd done. I was young enough that he could confide in me, but old enough that I could disapprove of his actions when I thought they'd gone too far. That being said, I was pretty sure his parents knew about all of it -- they were pretty lenient, and this was Germany, after all - and I knew that he'd shut up about any of it if I ever ratted him out, so I never said much to them about it. Also, alcohol on a teenager in Germany is much more permissible than weed on a teenager in America... so yeah, I guess I'd definitely say something to his parents, but if I had a relationship with him I'd probably go for "You tell them or I will", or at least "Hey, how often do you do this? You do know your brain is developing, right?"

Bostonnanny said...

I had a problem with the neighbor in the building my charge lives in smoking pot. You could smell it coming out the door of their unit. I told the lobby what I smelled and asked if they could at least get a housekeeper to our floor and spray it down cuz the kids and I had to walk right past it everyday to get to their unit. That unit was rented, so I'm pretty sure they said something to them directly because the smell disappeared and a month later the tenants moved.

I would definitely tell the parents and if they allowed it( I'd be very surprised) then I would tell them you can't work in that kind of environment for legal and personal health reasons.

nannyto3 said...

honestly, I'd keep my mouth shut if it wasn't affecting me or my charges, and he wasn't doing anything dangerous, like driving high. There is a difference between someone who smokes pot casually in their home, and a full blown pot head who thinks about nothing but pot. I personally don't see pot smoking as the end of world. I did enough of it when I was a teenager. OK, you can start throwing stones now! :)

Melissa said...

No. None of your business

Phoenix said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phoenix said...

I wouldn't. People are VERY judgemental about weed. I know for a fact you shouldn't. My husband smokes but NEVER in front of his son. Even though my house permeates of chronic my son doesn't ask questions. I have a medical marijuana license though.

I take it his son doesn't have a medical license that says he should smoke to relieve any health issues? That is his business

As long as his son is responsible and doesn't try to "be cool" and smoke in from of little ones then everything should be fine.

MissMannah said...

Anonymous...uh, maybe because her husband enjoys it? Duh. Jeez, I will never understand why people get so uptight about pot. That being said, I think it is perfectly fine for a responsible adult to smoke, but a kid is a different story. OP didn't say how old this kid is that is smoking, so he could be like 13 or 18. He also could be doing it in the privacy of his own bedroom or could be high all the time and driving around smoking or doing it in front of the little brother. Those are all pretty big factors that should play into the decision of whether or not to tell. If it was me, I would talk to the older son and find out what kind of relationship he has with his parents because it is my opinion that he should be honest with them and it really isn't the nanny's place to be tattling on him. Unless he is very young or is putting himself or his brother in danger, in which case I would have to tell the parents.

And before anyone asks...no I personally do not smoke...anymore.

unicornsparkleprincess said...

@Anonymous 8:24
smoking cigarettes isn't illegal and it's worse for you than smoking pot.

just saying.

Dr. Juris said...

Smoking cigarettes is harmful for your health, but it won't result in an arrest and a possible criminal conviction. Pot will. Plus that shit stinks.

nycmom said...

Speaking as a parent, I would want to know. I also would be very appreciative if my nanny informed me.

However, I highly doubt the parents are unaware. Pot is hard to hide given the odor and behavior changes, especially if he is smoking it at home.

I am not anti-pot either and don't see it as a dangerous drug. I generally agree with Miss Mannah and think it's no big deal for a responsible adult to smoke MJ - assuming they don't have kids in the house and aren't going to be caring for their kids high (exactly what I would say for alcohol, except more caution needed with MJ since it is illegal).

Nonetheless, it is illegal and the younger child is being exposed to the smoke. Plus, the younger child is going to figure this out soon and either talk about it at school or experiment himself. I think you have a responsibility as a childcare provider to put the welfare of the children ahead of any personal beliefs. Regardless of where you stand personally, pot has undebatable health and potential legal consequences. The parents need to know.

unicornsparkleprincess said...

Dr. Juris-
yeah, cigarettes don't stink at all!

talesfromthe(nanny)hood said...

As a nanny, you're a mandated reporter. That means that if you don't speak up, and this pothead is ever arrested or discovered, you've managed to put your job (and possibly any child-related career) in jeopardy.

Of course, I could be wrong, and DFCS or the like would not see pothead older siblings in a child's home as a danger to the child you care for. Anyone know for sure?

RBTC said...

i agree with tales and robinsparkle - it's unwise to be a party to illegal behavior - your job and rep could be affected

when i was in a similar situation where my 15 year old charge used the car while his parents were out of town i told " Ricky - i am not going to tell your parents about this but you are"

when his parents got home i said " Ricky has something to say..." and i left the room - i could hear him putting a good spin on it and not getting in trouble and my conscience was clear - i did the right thing and he handled his parents his way

christ. said...

Oh please.

No. Jesus. People just looking for drama.

Pot will be legal soon. It's just a matter of time.

Lighten up, people.

Dr. Juris said...

It may be legal soon (debatable, considering medicinal MJ is only legal in 16 states and I HIGHLY doubt recreational use is forthcoming when most states don't even allow it for the sick, dying, and those who really need it), but at the moment, it is not. I would prefer to keep my record clean.

And yes, cigarettes smell horrible. But pot? It literally makes me vomit a little in the back of my mouth. I don't know why, but it does.

Marypoppin'pills said...

This post makes me want to share an interesting story. I had a friend several years back that liked to indulge. She had a 7yo son. In school they were teaching kids about the D.A.R.E. program. Evidently her son innocently mentioned that his Mom smoked pot. When the police came, they found her "stash" in the garage. That poor kid felt so bad for getting his Mom in trouble... he had no clue the ramifications that would follow. Parents really need to be careful what their kids are exposed to.

oh well said...

I would definitely mention it to the parents. Either they know about it and don't care, or they don't know about it and will be grateful for the info.

zero tolerance on drugs nanny said...

Sure would, after I called the cops. Think of me what you will, but parents ought to be more aware of their children.

Hellofello said...

I would talk with the son and ask him not to do it when you are around, and if he does again than tell the parents. I was in a similar situation, exept with dangerous prescription medications. The kid also was stealing money. When I tried to disscus the kids behavior with the parents guess who was blamed and fired?
If the kid was doing more dangerous drugs, even given my past experience I would still tell the parents because he deserves every chance a happy life that he can get.