The New Nanny & The Very Big Trip

Mike Savlen

 Hi everyone. I have a bit of a different situation. I work for a very well off family. The mother is a SAHM and I work about 42 hours per week. I enjoy my job, the work is harder than most people would think and most importantly, I am not the same caliber nanny they previously had. I'm an American and they are used to schooled British nannies. Having said that, I have been here four months and I 99% sure they are thrilled with me.

My first time to travel with the family is coming up when the kids get out of school in June. They have a 2 year old and an 8 year old. I have traveled with families before, but this is a bit different. Their travel intentions are to sail from MASS to St. Kitts with several stops along the way. The entire trip is going to take about 20 days.  My boss is giving me two and a half days off before the trip and two and a half days off after the trip. (I couldn't imagine it any other way).

    I am not worried about the pay because I am well paid and have been appropriately compensated for extra childcare previously.

    My question to you, has anyone ever done this kind of trip? I am told I will have a very small but private room with a twin bed. I have seen pictures of it but there are no specific pictures. It looks very nice, but at the same time, I have only been with them four months and we will literally be stuck together. 

    Here are some questions:

    1) My boss says she will make sure I have a break at all stops to get a break from them. (Her words).  Beaufort, US Virgin Islands, Barbuda, Saba, West Palm Beach are they actual spots where they plan to stop. In Barbuda, we will stay in a hotel for three days and WPB two days. What do I do for my breaks at the other places where there is not a hotel option? I'm nervous about feeling safe but realize breaks from each other will be good.

    2) My boss has told me that they have no specific crew, but a "first mate" who has accommodations away from the family. I will be preparing the children light meals while we are on the boat, this doesn't seem a problem. She also told me in her words, "it's not a rigorous schedule. It/s very relaxed, you can read and lay in the sun. The kids have movies to watch, but what nannies in the past did is to do activities with them daily like coloring, crafts and reading to make the days more fun. With this information, I am worried that I will not do enough? Or too much? She told me that I could take the credit card and go to the art supply store and get some sketch books, etc. Any other great ideas anyone has that can help me feel like I am earning my keep?

    3) The older child is a boy and his mom says he likes to "help" on the boat with "guy stuff. I don't really have any fear of him getting in trouble, but I feel like the two year old will have to be tethered to an adult at all times? Anyone???? It makes me nervous just thinking about it. 

     I am equal parts excited for this opportunity and anxious. I want to of course feel safe, but I also think this is a job I would like to have for a while. :) Any help would be appreciated.

Tangled Webs

Here's the scoop. About three weeks ago, my female boss asked me to say I used her car on a Thursday. She didn't say why, she just said, if male boss asks, just say we switched cars for the day. I looked confused and uncertain, certainly. I hesitated. She looked at me, and said, "don't ask" and handed me a hundred dollar bill. She said, "it probably won't come up."  It turns out it never did come up. I was a $100 richer that week.

Piper O'Neill

Cut to Thursday of last week. My boss comes home at lunch time and asks me for a favor. She asked me not to ask questions and said she would make it worth it to me. She told me she would take "child" to her 2PM activity and I should take her phone and take the subway to a certain location. She told me to have lunch at either X, Y or Z, all cafe type places in one corner area. Again I looked confused. I have to admit, the mystery was enticing. She said she's pay for my lunch. She gave me 4 $100 bills, 1 $50 and 3 $20. I did it. I had a nice lunch by myself. I made some calls from her phone and surfed the internet during lunch. When I came back at around 4, my boss asked me to drop "other child" at "activity" and then I could be off for the afternoon. Win. Win. Right?

I had a feeling this had to do with another man. But I don't ask questions. I make a good salary, they even let me use the nanny vehicle on weekends, even though I got my own place and no longer am a live-in. This morning my female boss asked to talk to me. She said she wanted to make plans to go away and "male boss" would be working, would I go? She told me where (great location) and that she really needed a vacation so it would be a real working vacation for me, but she would pay me regular hours, plus 2K. She told me she would be getting two deluxe suites across from each other, but that I would be staying with the children. I'm a nanny, I'm getting paid well. I have thought this situation through and I don't see any way a child could get hurt or caught up in it. (We went over what the kid's days would look like).

I know I am getting sucked in to some weird drama. I have a conscience about it, but I can't help being thrilled by the drama. I know this is so wrong. I really think I need a counselor. The husband has always been decent to me. He's business like, polite and quiet. He's not someone I revel in seeing destroyed or anything, not that he would be destroyed. I mean, I guess what I am saying is I have no dog in this fight. The only thing that is bothering me is that I don't feel bad. I'm just being honest.  I literally am consumed with bad feelings about the bad feelings, Bad feelings about all the extra cash. Bad feelings of being allowed into female boss's secret life.

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2015 ISYN A Day in the Life, #13

I work an unorthodox schedule, and just about every day is different for us. Believe it or not, this is a pretty typical day. I have 11 year old twin girls. This is really two days, but when we travel they run together like this.

6:00- Wake up. Dress, make myself look presentable. At 6:20 I hear Twin 1's alarm clock go off on the baby monitor I have in my room. She turns her music on.

6:30- Leave my apartment and go to the main house. Go into Twin 2s room and turn on her music. They each get to listen to two songs before they get up to get ready.

6:55- Both girls are dressed and I've done their hair for school. I remind twin 2 *again* that she needs to put her glasses in her backpack. She's complaining about having a cramp so I make a few jokes about their periods starting (they yell at me but they're smiling). We go downstairs for breakfast. The other nanny (L) meets us in the dining room.

7:00-7:30- We eat breakfast; it's french toast today which is one of their (and my) favorites. At 7:30 we go to the car which is waiting outside, and ride to school.

8:30- Arrive home from taking the girls to school. Sometimes while they're at school we have nothing to do and we can just relax, but today we leave for a trip so I have to make sure everything is packed.

9:00-13:00- Pack, pack, and more pack. For the four of us (two nannies and two kids) we have 11 bags. We're heading to a colder climate so the clothes are bigger, and we need to bring everything for school in three languages since they'll be missing lessons while we're gone.

13:00- Eat lunch with the other nannies and teachers. There are times during the year when the family and staff is spread out over the world, so we really take advantage of the times when we're all together.

13:30- Make sure my bags are completely packed, and bring all of the luggage to the front door so it can be taken to the airport in advance.

14:30- Get a snack for the girls to eat in the car and travel to pick them up. Head straight to the airport from school. In the car the girls are excited about the upcoming trip.

15:30- Arrive at the airplane. Greet the pilots and flight attendants, and then relax. We have to wait for the girls' younger brother to arrive so we can leave. The girls have something to drink and get themselves settled. They start working on the stuff that their teachers sent with them so they won't have as much to do on the trip.

16:30- Everyone is on board so we buckle up and take off. The kids play and goof off for a bit and then start a movie.

18:00- They pause the movie for dinner. The kids know that there aren't really any rules on the plane, so they choose to sit on the floor to eat while the adults eat at the table. There aren't any parents on the plane so it's very relaxing and fun for just the nannies together. We all eat dessert and then the kids start their movie again.

20:00- The movie ends and everyone gets ready for bed. Children and adults change into sleeping clothes and brush teeth, and everyone goes to their usual sleeping places, aka bedrooms or couches. The flight attendants make the couches into beds and I end up on the L shaped couch with twin 2. They fight over who I will sleep with.

2:00, or 8:00 in our new time zone- Wake up for landing. We all brush our teeth, change clothes, and eat something chocolate croissants for "breakfast". Dress the children in layers for the cold weather.

9:00- We've landed and been cleared by customs, and we get into the cars that are waiting for us. We take the short drive to our favorite hotel.

9:30- The girls are anxious to see our rooms. We don't have the same ones as last year but they're great anyway. We have 3 suites and 2 bedrooms all in a row for them and their brother.

10:00- The luggage arrives and I unpack while the girls play on their iPads. They want me to hurry up so I tell them it will go faster if they help. They do, and have fun and are proud of themselves for taking some responsibility for their own things.

11:00- I order tea to the room. We drink tea and have a snack, then get into our ski clothes. We head down to the shop to get fitted for skis and snowboards and meet the children's instructors for the week. We see some of our favorite staff from years past and are happy to be with them. Once we're ready we get into the van to take us to the mountain.

12:00-16:00- We ski! We're all out of practice and completely exhausted, but very happy. We take the train down and the van back to the hotel, and relax for a few minutes.

17:00- DB has arrived at the hotel so we go to the lobby to greet him. He tells us the plan for the evening which includes a cocktail reception and formal dinner. We go back to the room to prepare.

17:30-19:30- The girls shower and put on the dresses and tights that I've laid out. I used to get a lot of resistance about dressing up, but they've gotten so much better and don't have any problem putting on the fancy clothes. I shower after them while they blow dry their own hair. When they're finished they play on their iPads and I dress and do my makeup as fast as I can. Then I do something to each of their hair.

19:40- We go down to the lobby with their brother to wait for DB. Once he comes he greets everyone and we all go to the cocktail reception together. The guests are mostly people we see often, so we walk around talking and meeting anyone new.

20:30- Dinner begins. Nannies, teachers, and children are at one table together, and as always it's always the fun table. We all joke and laugh and have a great time.

21:30- The children start to get tired so we take them back to the room. They get ready quickly and get into bed. I'm sleeping in the same room with twin 1, but I'm not ready to go to sleep so I say goodnight to both of them, leave them with the other nanny, and go back down to the party.

22:30- DB has gone to bed but there are still quite a few people there including some of my friends, so I drink some champagne and eat dessert. There is singing entertainment which is fun. The drinking and singing lead to dancing, and before I know it it's after midnight.

00:30- One of the other staff walks me up to my room because I'm a bit tipsy and I sneak in and brush my teeth before crawling into bed without waking twin 1. Just day one in a long line of days like that.

*We spend 2 weeks at this location and have the best time. Skiing all day and fancy parties at night :)

Nanny Camera Blues

Tim Clayton

We have had a nanny camera for over a year now. Sometimes we don't even have it set up right, most of the time we don't check it. It is a remotely accessible feature. The nanny doesn't know about it. In all the time I have used it and checked it, I have only ever seen her being loving and wonderful to my child. Except for today. I am out of town, I know it's beautiful in NYC, so I called and asked her what she was doing. She told me she had just got back from spending almost two hours at the park. I hung up, pleased my daughter was outside. For some reason, I decided to see if I could log on to the nanny camera and I could. I reviewed the footage and it's very clear she never went outside. Not even for a minute. What do I do? Do I call her on this, after a whole year? Do I prod her more about details? Do I let it go and figure maybe she is just having a rough day since DH and I are both out of town at the same time? This is what I want to do, but I think more than ever when we are both out of town, I want to know that the nanny is being the kind of nanny I think she is. Help! I'm typing this from a meeting because I can't bear to confide this in people I am close to. They would follow up ask how I handled it, no doubt demanding that I did.  She just cares for one almost 3 year old girl.

Question? Rant? Sighting? Email isynblog@gmail.com.