So your daughter loves her nanny, so what?

Delphina Labedan

I don't know what to do about this situation! I am the nanny for three children, two of them are 12 & 15. They don't need me for much. My job is principally to take care of the three year old girl.

When the other children were younger, their mom spent more time with them, but Mom is now in a very tough spot at work and has no time for her 3 year old (or herself).

Last week, they went away for a family vacation, the first since I have been here. It was only a long weekend. The second day, a Saturday, the teenage girl called me and asked me to talk to the 3 year old because "she is crying for you and Mom doesn't know how to make her stop". She came on the phone and cried, "I want you" 20 times. I distracted her, told her a funny story and made plans to make a fort when I saw her again on Tuesday. The conversation ended on a positive note.

The next night Sunday, I got a text from the mom saying "X is having a hard time without you, will you call her at bed time?". I did. The father answered, acted bothered by me and then got the little girl. The mom came on the phone at the end and said, "thank you, but she actually calmed down earlier." I said to call me if there was any thing I could do or anything I needed and she thanked me.

On Monday night I got a text from the mother saying she wasn't going in Tuesday, she was going to spend some time with the three year old, but I should still come and take care of the older kid's meals and driving.  Just to insert this here, I had no problem with any of this. A mom spending time with her child is good in my book.

On Tuesday the mom slept late, so the 3 year old came out to me and stuck with me. She was super happy to see me. The mother rolled out of bed at 10:30 and called out for her daughter. At that time, we were on the floor in the family room playing with dolls. She looked at me and said, "What are you doing?" I expressed that I was confused. She told me, "I took this day off specifically to have a day off with her." I started to explain she came out originally for breakfast. I apologized (although I wasn;t sure for what) and said -Older Son- didn't need to be picked up until noon. She said to me, "Could you just, GO NOW!", I kept my cool and said, "of course." I had to use the bathroom but I grabbed the keys and headed right to the door, the three year old followed and kept saying she was going with me. I told her she got to have a fun day with her mom. Mom was standing right there. The little girl was crying, "I don't want to, I just want you".

The mom is glaring at me. I felt so uncomfortable. I literally had to unpry the little girl's hands off of me and push her  a little so I could shut the door behind me. I heard her banging on the door and crying immediately. I left and went and waited at the gym for the son to be ready. I took him home and the mom and 3 year old were fortunately gone.

I went about my business as usual. At 5:00, I got a text from the Mom saying she would be home in twenty minutes and that I should let the kids now, but could go ahead and leave. She texted "Don't worry tomorrow will be a regular day".

The next morning the mom was nice, but cold to me. I felt like I couldn't engage the three year old how I normally wanted. I didn't want to read to her or hold her or anything until her mom left. I kept telling her to go play and busied myself chopping vegetables.

So here is my question. No one in this scene is a bad person. The mom is actually usually very nice. The two teens are polite and have been raised well. The husband is a nice guy and I'm a really good nanny. Right now, I feel like I am "in trouble" for loving this little one too much. It doesn't feel good to distance myself from her in anyway because I don't know what that does to her head. I want her to feel loved and secure by everyone in the family. I know she lover her mom very much, but her Mom has just played a different role so far in her young life.

Now that it's Friday, the Mom is back fully immersed in her job. Are there any tips you have that I can use to make the situation better? Like if Mom heard me tell her daughter to give her a kiss goodbye, that would probably be upsetting, but if the daughter did get that part of having this wonderful working mom was great hellos and goodbyes, isn't that a good thing?

In the past few days, I am back to myself with the little girl when Mom isn't around. The little girl has told me at least a hundred times that she loves me every day since coming back. I tell her I love her too, but now I feel like what if the Mom heard that?  I wouldn't want to work for anyone who didn't want me to love and dote on their child. I have no issues with the mom or need to outmom her. I would think that was painfully apparent.

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NANNIES of INSTAGRAM

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My Nanny's Recipes - #4

I cooked with my nanny all of the time. This was my favorite think we would make together. She was with us from the time I was 4 until I was 9.

Ari & Livona's Fruit Pizza
The Cookie Crust
1/2 cup  unsalted butter, softened to room temperature*
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg, at room temperature*
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 and 1/2 cups  spoon & leveled all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 and 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch

Topping
8 oz full-fat cream cheese, softened to room temperature
1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
2 cups confectioners' sugar
1-2 Tablespoons cream or milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
assorted sliced fresh fruit
Directions:
1) Make the crust: In a large bowl using a hand-held mixer or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream the softened butter for about 1 minute on medium speed. Get it nice and smooth, then add the sugar on medium speed until fluffy and light in color. Beat in egg and vanilla. Scrape down the sides as needed.
2) In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, and cornstarch. With the mixer running on low speed, slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in 3 different parts. Once completely combined, cover the dough tightly and chill in the refrigerator for 30 minutes and up to 1 day. Without chilling, your cookie dough may spread over the sides of the pan.
3) Preheat oven to 350F degrees. Spray a 12-inch pizza pan with cooking spray. Remove chilled cookie dough from the refrigerator and press onto the pizza pan in an even flat circle, as pictured above. Bake for 18-20 minutes or until the edges are very lightly browned. Overbaking will lend a hard crust. Allow crust to cool completely before decorating. I put the crust in the refrigerator after 10 minutes of cooling at room temperature - this sped up the process.
4) While the crust cools, chop the fruit.
5) Make the frosting: In a medium bowl using a handheld or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the cream cheese and butter together on medium speed until smooth, about 2 minutes. Add the confectioners’ sugar and 1 Tbsp cream. Beat for 2 minutes. Add the vanilla and 1 more Tbsp cream if needed to thin out. Beat for 1 minute. Spread in a thick layer over the cooled sugar cookie crust. Decorate with fruit.

Is there something special your nanny made or makes for you? Share it here with a shout to her and how great she is/was! isynblog@gmail.com.

My Nanny's Recipes - #3

My nanny was a great person. She had a gruff exterior, but she wasn't gruff at all. My father in particular was very hard on me, especially for the way I ate. She would sneak me cupcakes and cinnamon candies AND try to get me to eat healthier. This was my favorite recipe of hers. 

Maud Bryt

Nanny's Chicken Salad
Ingredients
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon curry powder
1 teaspoon
1 cup chopped skinless, boneless Grilled Lemon-Herb Chicken (about 4 ounces)
3/4 cup chopped green apple (about 1 small)
1/3 cup diced celery
3 tablespoons raisins
1/8 teaspoon salt

Preparation
Combine mayonnaise, curry powder, and water in a medium bowl, stirring with a whisk until well blended. Add the Grilled Lemon-Herb Chicken, chopped apple, celery, raisins, and salt; stir mixture well to combine. Cover and chill.
Is there something special your nanny made or makes for you? Share it here with a shout to her and how great she is/was! isynblog@gmail.com.

The Broken Foot

I don't know what to do. I hired a nanny seven months ago, She has been great. We have a 10 months old and a four year old. Honest to God, on Friday night when she left, I actually breathed a sigh of relief thinking everything is just as it should be. The nanny called me this morning at ten and told me that last night she broke her foot. She told me she doesn't want to inconvenience us or ask for a break but she doesn't know if she can do the job with a broken foot. I am thinking of how we can make this work. She walks our 4 year old to school and back and to dance class. There are a lot of park outings and things like that. We live on the second floor of five floor walk up. (No elevator). Any tips or ideas of how I could make this work? I could probably shell out an additional $300 a week for the next six weeks for someone to help, but how to find and utilize that person?  -Chelsea- NYC

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Westchester Mall Food Court in White Plains, NY

I thought I would share this Good Nanny Sighting with you! I was at the Westchester Mall in White Plains, NY on lunch break with my boyfriend. At the table next to us was a young woman, possibly from the Netherlands. She was blonde and had an unfamiliar accent. She had three children under 5 with her.

It was amazing watching how she choreographed getting each child the food that they wanted from a different food court location, while still keeping all the kids together and within reach.

Then, when she finally sat down, she has no food or drink in front of her. She goes about setting up catsup and drinks for the children and? After watching what like an athletic event, she starts spelling with the kids. Everytime she gets to the youngest child (about 2??) she says, "I" or "A". The way she encouraged the kids to cheer for each other, be patient and use manners was so impressive. The kids ate. Then she helped them pack up their trash and had each child take their own garbage, one by one. She was going to walk with the youngest but the oldest child asked to help. I don't know who you are, employer of this woman, but your kids are in the best hands! What a kind and positive demeanor. It was the calmest, coolest table in the whole food court.

Nanny: About 5'6", short blonde hair, attractive face,wearing blue jeans and an ITHACA sweatshirt.
Children" Boy, age 2, brown hair, brown corduroys jeans, white sweater, hiking boots. Boy, approximately 5, brown hair, blue jeans, same hiking boots as younger boy. Girl, approximate age 3, pony tails with red & white ribbons, red dress, red tights and red mary janes.
Stroller: Double stroller, blue with a brown and blue plaid pattern on the fabric.

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