Wednesday

The Terminator

Ray Hartland
      We need to let our nanny of 1 year, 4 months go due to financial problems we are having. We can't afford to give her severance, but will give her two weeks notice, if she wants to stay and work. Besides a thank you letter and letter of reference, is there anything I can do for her? I just feel she is going to be very angry with us. Has anyone had that happen? When the nanny gets really angry and then you don't feel comfortable around her? If that should happen, do I rescind her ability to continue working for two weeks? She was our first and only nanny. My brother-in-law says that because she is a live in nanny we have to give her thirty days notice. Is there a legal form for this? I feel like we should put this in writing but I couldn't find anything online as a sample. We are planning to do this as soon as possible. Please help. I'm nervous. If she wants to leave right away, that is more than okay with me, I just need some sort of documentation to prove I offered her to stay 30 days? I'm very nervous about this.

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13 comments:

chloe said...



Mother of 3, and disgusted by this post.


Are you serious? So this woman who you have no prior issues with. Spent a year taking care of your kids, living in your home, and you are just thinking of legality of it all. Grow a heart. The LEAST you can do is give her 30 days. This is her home. What if she doesn't have anywhere else to go. You'd rather her be on the street? You really have some nerve. I find it hard you can't pay her something for the year she spent with your family.

I really hope I am misreading this shit of a post. And if I am and you really are that clueless here is what you do.

- give her notice NOW. Express your gratitude and thank her. Genuinely.
- have the kids make her something nice
- get her flowers, a Mani/pedi,/massage... anything.
- tell her she can take the next few weeks 2,3,4 to stay in her room and find a job
-give her the next two weeks paid but let her work part time so she has time to interview
- HELP her find a job. Look with her, wrote reviews, post ads on her behalf
- HELP her find a place to stay if you insist she doesn't stay 30 days.

Do what you would want someone to do for you I. This situation. Treat her as a person and have some respect.

I can't believe people work for assholes like you. I know what to not do for my nanny.

Anonymous said...

Totally agree with your comments ! I use to work for bitches like her in the past in a way this kind of mom boss teached me how detect red flags and have a better radar for finding the good families out there.

OP, you should do this the respectful way , because if you don't, Karma is a bitch and will come back at you when you expect it the less. You wouldn't like your boss to do this to you, don't do it to your employee then.

Anonymous said...

Wow you two...did you miss the part where she said they can't afford her? Shit happens in life and sometimes households have to pinch pennies for one reason or another. The OP sounds genuine and appreciative of the nanny.

OP, yes you have to give her 30 days to move out but she doesnt have to be employed by you during that time. Express your greatfulness but that your wallet cant handle the cost anymore. As someone said, help her in her job search, I suggest letting her stay at least 2 months rent free if she needs too but at her own cost (food, needs, etc).

Good luck and hopefully your finances get better.

Angi

Anonymous said...

Ah Angie... The voice of reason as usual !! Nanny of 30 years who knows it all !!
NO, just kidding ;) ...

This woman might not be able to afford it but this is the way she handle the situation that is inconsiderate especially since the nanny is a live-in.

RBTC said...

mother of 3 nailed the practicval aspects great - angi nailed the emotional view. We all need to realize - if we REALLY want someone to follow our advice - using strong and drogatory language will not help - be it mom/nanny and etc The Op needs to bend over backwards to help the nanny and yes things happen in business - we all survive

i hope the Op will not be too scared to get back to us and let us know what happens

RBTC said...

sorry for typos lol

chloe said...

Angi- no one takes a chameleon seriously.

Where in this post was OP caring towards her employee?

She states she is concerned the nanny will be mad at her, and is worried about HERSELF in that regard.

She wants to give 2 weeks, bil made her aware of 30/notice and she just wants to cover her ass legally. Again for her interest.

I'll say it once. Financial issues like this don't just crop up. It's usually foreseeable. And if it wasn't. Do you not have savings in which you could offer this woman anything. Fine not two weeks. But something?

You better believe if my boss/company hit trouble I would still be paid my severance.

chloe said...

Angi- no one takes a chameleon seriously.

Where in this post was OP caring towards her employee?

She states she is concerned the nanny will be mad at her, and is worried about HERSELF in that regard.

She wants to give 2 weeks, bil made her aware of 30/notice and she just wants to cover her ass legally. Again for her interest.

I'll say it once. Financial issues like this don't just crop up. It's usually foreseeable. And if it wasn't. Do you not have savings in which you could offer this woman anything. Fine not two weeks. But something?

You better believe if my boss/company hit trouble I would still be paid my severance.

Gia said...

Chloe, no one is guaranteed severance unless it is company policy or written in their contract.

If you are in a "fire-at-will" state, you can be fired for no reason and not paid any severance at all.

The only legal issues have to do with the fact that the nanny is residing in her home. That probably gives the nanny some time to move out, but not be paid for working.

Also, just so you know, YES financial issues can happen all of a sudden. Especially in this economy. How old are you? How do you not know this?

chloe said...

Forgive me for thinking that the person you hire to care for your children are due more than two weeks notice.

That's fine situations change but if you're living paycheck to paycheck with no savings maybe hiring a nanny isn't for you. It shouldn't be a luxury but it also shouldn't be the thing that makes or breaks you.

Anonymous said...

Is she on the books? If so, at least help her file unemployment and let her stay until she finds another family or apartment. If not, then you will be in big trouble if she files for it (which she might if she's desperate since you are not giving her severance) because then the IRS will come after you, and then you will have financial problems for real!

Anonymous said...

I read your comment and I can see you are a wonderful mom. I wish I will have a boss like you. I am really desperate and don't know what to do with my situation . Do you think is possible if I ask you an advice ? I will appreciate it. My email is nannylove1@outlook.com

Leah said...

She doesn't sound that awful, just concerned, but you're a blotch and should be ashamed for your attack in her! She asked for advices and suggestions, since this whole situation is new to her to! You are being very obnoxious in your patronising a true! You can't say she is not emotional a out irit, but she is not here to ask for a psychological help, she wants help with the practicalities, becaushey, she can't afford a nanny anymore, and it is her right to let her go! Calm, you righteousness....!!