The Vermont House

My employers that I have worked for 4 years have a small house in Vermont that they use when they go skiing, rarely. They bought it years and years ago and have moved on to bigger things, so I think they used it once last year.

They have let me go skiing on a weekend there with a girlfriend known to them. We have used the house without problem. The house is a small three bedroom with bunk beds in two of the three rooms, very rugged, nothing fragile, etc.

In October of last year, I began dating a divorced guy who works as an electrician. He has a nice, small house in Tarrytown, drives a decent car and has two children that he has 1/2 custody of.  Since my family knows him, I thought it would be okay to ask if we could go away for one of my weeks off in August to the Vermont house with his kids.

Keep in mind, I have worked here for 4 years. I only have these three weeks in August off now because the kids are old enough not to need a nanny on vacation. 

I almost got tears in my eyes when I saw MB's reaction to my request. She looked put upon and then cross. She quickly covered and than said, that she would have to talk to DB. She never plays the "I have to talk to DB" card.

The next day she told me that they didn't think that was a good idea and that the kids would be a liability. My boyfriend having heard this thinks that they have no regard for me or him and thinks I should quit. I have to admit I was taken aback.  I don't ask my boss for things on any regular basis and this is a very rugged house, not fancy at all, it's more like a cabin and it's only worth about 90K!.

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RACISM & The Job

    I have the second long term boyfriend that I have had since being a nanny. The first boyfriend was white. It was normal for him to pick me up at the house, come to the door, etc. I am a live-in.
    I have been seeing this guy for 3 months and only recently let him have my address, pick me up at my house. My employer told me she would "prefer" if I would meet him at our destination and that she didn't want any "strange men" coming to her house.
    What do I say to this? She had no problems when my White boyfriend came to the house.  What gives them the right? Since I live here, don't I have rights as a tenant? When you are a nanny, dating is always hard because you have to meet at a destination first and for the longest time. I like being picked up and having a door held open for me. I know this is just because he is black!

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No Grill for You

   

     My boss had asked me to house-sit for twelve days in June when she and the family go away. I would normally be paid anyway.  She said she wanted to leave the dog here too and that I would be good company for him. I have a three year old son, who she also said would be great for the dog. She even said she's make sure the heat to the pool was on so we could use the pool. This came up again yesterday when I made a reference to using the grill by the pool and my boyfriend (of 7 years & baby's father) would love to fire that up. She grimaced and said, "Oh I wasn't expecting that Mike would be coming". There was no doubt about how she meant it. She even followed up with a head shake and said, "I don't think that would fly with Mr. X." (her husband)At first I felt embarrassed like I was being presumptuous. But the more I think about it, I am getting fiercely pissed off! I work 45 minutes from my home. She wants me to stay there, watch the house, get the mail, supervise the grounds crew, water the plants, bring in the paper, put out the garbage and she wants my son there, but had no desire for my boyfriend to come and stay? He does work full time, but did she really think he would not see his son for four days?
      I complicated things when I told my boyfriend what had happened, complete with facial expressions. He is pissed. I told him I would talk to her and he doesn't care. He said he wouldn't go and doesn't want me to go and that he is going to take vacation from work and we are going to go down to South Carolina. He's more angry than I am and says he doesn't care if I quit or lose my job. He also made several references to my employers having a slave mentality and no respect for me.
I'm going to work tomorrow as always and I don't intend to say anything. I'm just a wreck though. I have worked for the family since before my son was born. I feel stupid because I was looking forward to this and felt it would be a vacation of sorts. But my boyfriend is right that there was never any talk of any extra pay beyond what I would usually be making, despite covering two weekends and that I would be paid while they are away even if I was not house sitting. Help!

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