Thursday

No Grill for You

   
     My boss had asked me to house-sit for twelve days in June when she and the family go away. I would normally be paid anyway.  She said she wanted to leave the dog here too and that I would be good company for him. I have a three year old son, who she also said would be great for the dog. She even said she's make sure the heat to the pool was on so we could use the pool. This came up again yesterday when I made a reference to using the grill by the pool and my boyfriend (of 7 years & baby's father) would love to fire that up. She grimaced and said, "Oh I wasn't expecting that Mike would be coming". There was no doubt about how she meant it. She even followed up with a head shake and said, "I don't think that would fly with Mr. X." (her husband)At first I felt embarrassed like I was being presumptuous. But the more I think about it, I am getting fiercely pissed off! I work 45 minutes from my home. She wants me to stay there, watch the house, get the mail, supervise the grounds crew, water the plants, bring in the paper, put out the garbage and she wants my son there, but had no desire for my boyfriend to come and stay? He does work full time, but did she really think he would not see his son for four days?
      I complicated things when I told my boyfriend what had happened, complete with facial expressions. He is pissed. I told him I would talk to her and he doesn't care. He said he wouldn't go and doesn't want me to go and that he is going to take vacation from work and we are going to go down to South Carolina. He's more angry than I am and says he doesn't care if I quit or lose my job. He also made several references to my employers having a slave mentality and no respect for me.
I'm going to work tomorrow as always and I don't intend to say anything. I'm just a wreck though. I have worked for the family since before my son was born. I feel stupid because I was looking forward to this and felt it would be a vacation of sorts. But my boyfriend is right that there was never any talk of any extra pay beyond what I would usually be making, despite covering two weekends and that I would be paid while they are away even if I was not house sitting. Help!

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10 comments:

Me said...

She doesn't respect you! First of all, she asked you to work while she's on vacation! Most (good) employers pay their nannies when they take a vacation! That's part of the deal when you hire a nanny. She didn't decide to go away on vacation.*


I'm assuming she wasn't going to pay you EXTRA for watching the house AND dog sitting? All of that costs money and she was trying to take advantage of you. Your boyfriend is right. She's got this mentality like she owns you! She is telling you to spend a week away from your home/family and expects you to be ok with it! I wouldn't house/dog sit for her. Go to SC and enjoy. BUT still get paid because they have to pay when THEY decide to vacation.

Nanny D. said...

Just let her know your son's Dad surprised you with a vacation and sorry you can't pet/house sit this time. (Be all happy and excited about your vacation, when telling her). But let her know you researched and printed out a list of professional pet/house sitting businesses in your area. Good luck! Nanny D.

Anonymous said...

You are still getting paid. Your employer has the right to ask you to work. and the work is less demanding than when the child is there. It seems to me the employer was too nice to offer to allow you to have your child and use the pool, and she got uncomfortable when you took advantage of her largess.

Michael said...

Her house. You are an employee. The work asked for seems like less than normal. She has approved you and your child to stay, but does not know your boyfriend. She is right not to trust your judgement on who gets to stay at her home. Take a step back, ask yourself what you might do in her shoes. I don't think you are being taken advantage of.

Danish Nanny said...

Nanny D's advice is great. Do that!

this_nick said...

Nanny D is a baller -- great advice!

However, if your boss is already aware your boyfriend knows about the house-sitting situation, just tell her the truth: that you agreed to it with the expectation your family could come, and now that you know you were mistaken, you cannot do this job for her, as your son and his father being separated for this is not acceptable.

Good luck!

Me! said...

I agree with Nick. Let her know that you do not want to separate father and son for so long. As to Anonymous, nannies get paid when bosses go on vacation and/or cancel for whatever reason*. That's par for the course. The boss is asking her to work without additional pay. If I'm getting paid to be at home with my family, why would I give that up to do more work without additional pay?

* This is so the family doesn't have to scramble for childcare when they come back as most nannies cannot afford to sit around with pay for long periods. It's a standard clause in a nanny contract.

Alice said...

Definitely either have a vacation of your own or negotiate a higher wage for all the 'household employee' duties you'll be covering.

You should still be paid to retain you as their nanny as well.

If they can't work with this, they probably can't take a vacation. And that seems fair to me.

nanny_t said...

I don't agree with Michael, if she didn't trust your judgement, she shouldn't have you working with her family in her house. I don't know how she can expect you to not see your family for four days or expect your baby's father not to see his. It is selfish and I would bring it up. I would come up with a list of people to take care of the dog, and house sitters from a website.

Aria Bubbles said...

Funny.... The boss trusts her with her child, her dog, her house, gives her house keys and she's been working for them for, as I understand, more than a year or two, but she doesn't trust the baby's father to be with them?