I am shaking as I am writing this. I have been unemployed for a couple of months. I always look for jobs on the web, mostly CL. I live in NYC. One day, I was e-mailed by someone asking if I had experience working in an Arab household. I answered back saying no, but I loved the culture. To brief it up, it is about working for a high net worth divorced dad with a toddler for when he arrives to NYC. He would rent the whole floor in a Super 5 stars Hotel (I know the name). After many e-mails, it is the secretary of the secretary in London writing to me. If I wanted to leave the residence with the child, it would be taking the limousine, the father also said that he puts 6 bodyguards on the child. (I say to myself, so the child already has 6 nannies lol). I got 3 phone calls so far from the father, he is a Sheik, around 1 am (because of the time difference). He had a live-in who traveled with him everywhere but she went back home. She was making around 125k. I was asked by the secretary to send a pic of me, and I did. The father says I am attractive. The secretary asks if I would belly dance for him.Here is where catch starts, after maaaany e-mails, she confirms my fear. It is a nanny/companion position. He is young and handsome I could tell by the pics I received. So, the last call was very tense… we were honest with each other and he gave me the list of what he wants: massage him, feed him, belly dance for him (removing the bottom part of the outfit in the end), me wearing lingerie he would buy. All those things when the child sleeps. Of course I said no. I just offered my friendship, massaging, feeding. The rest is just off-charts. I can’t get this out of my head. It is the chance of a lifetime. The pay would be great I guess. First, I thought this was a scam, but I was never asked nothing financially related. I know his real name and pics, so I am going head-over-heels now. After I’ve been refusing he said if I agreed to the lingerie part, the job would be mine. If I changed my mind, I should contact the secretary. This would be a 3-6 months position. He would travel back and forth for this time, since he has his private plane.
Now, I was brought up conservative but not to the extreme like Muslim women. My parents would be very disappointed if they knew about me performing those tasks. I am young and the salary would pay for my entire school. I need HUGE advice please. What do you think?
Have an experience to share? Email isynblog@gmail.com.
52 comments:
you could also make that kind of money at a strip club. Not judging, but he wants a high end prostitute. If you don't think sex would be involved, you are kidding yourself. This is a nanny/high end hooker job. You just have to ask yourself if you can do this. I know I couldn't but many women could. I'd also venture a guess that many women who do regret it later on and that it does horrible things to their self esteem.
I think it sounds sketchy and could get worse quickly. You are putting yourself in a compromising position, and while I totally understand the financial incentive (being a college student myself), I think you need to ask yourself whether this would damage your self respect. If it would, I think your dignity is worth a lot more than any salary.
I must admit to being an ardent feminist though, and I think this is chauvinistic (sp?), crude, and completely unreasonable. I'm disgusted by his treatment of you as a woman. Shame on him.
I say don't take the job. You don't seem to be dying to do so, or you would have already. The more I think about this, the more horrified I am by the whole business.
There are many more jobs you could get that do not require you to remove your clothes-- but if that's what you choose to do, it should be because YOU choose to do it, not because you were seduced by a large some of money and a high status man.
Don't sell yourself. It will be too demeaning and will cost you more emotionally in the end than you will be compensated monetarily.
And don't fool oyurself either. You will be his toy. And once you have danced or worn lingerie...or whatever you may have agreed to as a stopping point...you will be alone in a room with a horny man from a culture where men (especially of his status) are used to getting (or taking) whatever they want...particularly from lowly women...who are basically beneath respect to them as human beings.
Ick. Just ick.
Wow, how unique! If you would not be bothered by being a very highly-paid concubine in charge of childcare for a short, specified time period, I'd say go for it. But don't imagine that you'd be just a nanny who wears lingerie on demand and occasionally has to show it off to your boss. You can bet the bank he'd expect the whole 9 yards. AND he'd probably be very demanding AND controlling as far as the childcare duties too. In this particular case also, I'd consider whether the child is a boy or a girl, and take into account this dad's attitudes regarding either, because you can bet they will be VERY specific and he will not leave ANY room for input or differences on your part. It sounds like you could make great money, IF you can tolerate the job duties.
I don't look down on people who strip. If they have the self esteem and use what was given to them to earn some cash then more power to them. So - if you are comfortable doing it and more worried what others think - do what is best for YOU.
But, I agree with the others. You will have safety issues. He is high status, high powered and already employs lots of body guards. If you say no and he says yes it is your word against his - and you would probably disapeer long before you got in front of a judge.
So unless you plan on eventually sleeping with this dude I would say turn it down.
Only you can know your worth
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
You're gut is telling you no for a reason, listen to it. Yes you could use the money but at what expense morally? If you don't feel comfortable doing that then you do not need to take the job.
I'm totally not judging you, and I know women have to do what they have to do to get through school/life, but I would feel more comfortable being a stripper, or something of that nature if you are willing to massage and dance and such.
Trust your gut. What if one night he wants more than you are willing to give and he rapes you? What if he slips something into your drink and you wake up feeling confused? Many things can happen. This sounds like a creepy scam and I'd steer clear.
I wish I could remember the exact show, but 20/20 or 48 hours or one of those shows did a segment on this exact thing. The men placed ads for nannies, or personal assistants or sometimes singers for nightclubs.
The women were then kidnapped and taken to middle eastern countries with no extradition treaties with the US, and forced into prostitution. Many were there for over 10 years.
You are looking at the short term...but what about AIDs, mental or physical abuse, etc?
I lived in LA for 10 years, and I knew plenty of girls who ended up doing porn or sleeping with a producer or a sugar daddy. You may think you can shrug this off, but I wager you can't
Divorced Sheik? Odd, as doesn't fir with the culture. Why wouldn't he hire a trained belly dancer, as this is a talent and skill that takes time to learn? Why did he offer this position w/o seeing a picture or meeting OP? You could be not that attractive in person, after all? Please come up with better stories.
There has already been tons of great advice.
All I am wondering is... if he can afford 6 bodyguards for the child alone, why does he have to combine your duties? Why can't he hire one person to nanny and another to be his masseuse/lingerie-model/entertainer/"companion"?
I guess that if you want to be someones private sex toy go for it. Why are you asking strangers on the internet if you should do this... if your so unsure then probably not.
Wait. You AGREED to the feeding and massaging part?
more than likely he will demand that you sleep with him.
Don't take this the wrong way, but you would be a damn fool to take this job. Like someone before me mentioned, if you have no problems with nudity & need money: become a stripper.
Also, if by chance you do take this job, please, please, please do not let him take you to the middle east. No matter what he promises you, and how cool riding on a private jet may be, do NOT do that. I would bet the farm that if you go, you will never make it back to the US.
I guess the ultimate answer depends on what you feel your self-esteem and self-worth should cost when you sell them.
Frankly, you would be this man's 24/7 booty call. I bet you're a better person with more self-respect than that, but I don't actually know you. Heck, you might be able to make more money selling yourself with the services of a madam at a high end brothel, if you want to earn a living on your back and knees.
If you were a friend I would tell you to drop the whole idea yesterday, and change your contact info ASAP.
If you do go ahead and do this, I would also be very very careful about making sure family knows where you are at all times. If you go to Saudi Arabia or another Muslim country with him, you might not get to leave again. Women have no rights in many areas of the world, remember. At least if someone knows where you are, you have a shot at the US gov't rescuing you. Maybe.
To be honest... if i wasn't in a good job, if i wasn't married, if I was completely alone.... if I had absolutly no one... if I had no self - esteem and completely down in the dumps
Hell yes I would take the job and milk it for all it's worth.
But that's just me.
Phoenix made me laugh.
Have you tired Googling him to see if, in fact, he is a Sheik? If he's an International figure, I wouldn't be too afraid; it could be the opportunity of a lifetime. I'm a FLight Attendant, and one of our girls left to become the personal F/A of a Sheik and his family. She makes $30,000 A MONTH, even if they don't fly.
Like someone said, they don't usually get divorced, but it's also not totally unheard of. Do a lot of checking first.
This is a no-deal situation.
Not because he wants you as a companion, but because he was not HONEST about it from the beginning.
He could have found a willing sex worker to fill the position with no problem. The fact that he wanted to find someone who is NOT a sex worker, and then turn her into a sex worker, is what is so creepy about this.
Just say NO.
I say this as a full-fledged real-life prostitute. I've been pro for 7 years, and if any client starts off with the run-around and the sneakiness like this guy did, I would never, not in a million years, not for any amount of money, consent to working for him.
No. Do Not Fall For This. You Will Lose Your Freedom.
@ "me" : you might be thinking of this PBS Frontline special on sex slaves - it's scary scary scary.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/slaves/map/indexflash.html
The most horrific part of the story is of a young woman, told she would be working as a >>>>NANNY<<<< who was kidnapped, raped, sold to a pimp, forced to have an abortion...
The main contacts for these kidnappers and sex slave traders are almost always WOMEN. Don't be lulled into a sense of safety just because there is a female talking to you about the "job".
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
REPEAT
NO NO NO NO NO NO
They do sometimes get divorced. One of my family members worked for a Saudi Prince and handled some divorce matters for him. (His wife was not Saudi and she lived in Paris/Los Angeles...which is why maybe he divorced her rather than burned her in a rug or something hideous?)
Anyway...now that I am reading all of these comments I am becoming more fearful that this might be one of those scams where they are kidnapping women and taking them abroad. I also puzzled over why he needed a nanny to strip when he obviously has such an extensive staff. Maybe he is talking to and hiring every single woman who falls for the scam. Otherwise why he would pursue you when you had already declined? There have to be plenty of women who will do this willingly. Why get a skittish woman when you can get a willing whore? Too many things don't add up. And you can't trust him because "he has a famous name." You haven't even met him. I could tell you right now that I"m Christie Brinkley. I could make up an e-mail account that has her name in it. You could google that name and see that she is famous and upstanding. But I could be anybody using her name.
Change your contact information is a good idea.
And even if he is legit... if you think our government is prepared to anger a high Saudi official on behalf of one measley American girl, think again sister. Get with him and whatever happens, you're probably on your own.
Dangit! I left the wrong link, here is the full sex slave documentary, please watch it OP, please.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=456480507747515257&ei=1yFlSZLDE5yyrQL6_ozhDg&q=pbs+sex+slaves
And, by the way..the rug comment was meant to be a joke. As I reread, it sounds potentially offensive...which was not my intent.
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you kidding me people????
This has scam written all over it!
It usually starts out that way, and the person is usually unusually wealthy. Now you tell me...which wealthy person would post on Craigslist. They have people to find such favors for them.
My bet is that there isn't any child involved in this; and by the way, sending a picture and receiveg a picture means nothing, as is a name.
He has no way of knowing if your picture is in fact real, because you could have picked a picture of anybody to send. He can't verify it just as you can't his.
Scams are made to seem real except it is usually too ridiculous to really believe.
I bet you are not the only one in contact with these people, because if you are hemming and hawing about accepting, what makes you so special that he wouldn't just find somebody else.
There are many Halle Berry's and Angelina Jolie's out there.
This scam may not be about money as some people just like to play with people, but I'm doing a 99% bet that the money part will come eventually. They have gone through too much trouble to not want money from you, or perhaps, well let's not get carried away, there really are so many possibilities.
You are shaking for a reason. Our gut tells us things all the time, but greed can make us ignore those signals.
What did the original Ad say? That is the first thing I
d like to know (because you did say Craigslist) I know this is not just some random email, right?
The ambiguity seems to suggest it could be either or.
Of course this dad is not from the US, because you could easily verify that. No wonder he is flying in.
Renting a whole floor, why are they telling you this? and you don't even have the job? It matters not if you know the name. They did their research.
The secretary of the secretary? surprise surprise.
6 body guards? who is this? Barak Obama?
I mean every sentence reeks of SCAM, and if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck then in all probability it is a duck.
The belly dancing part is just to throw you off, and it certainly did.
They are smart, they know anybody dumb enough to take a job that includes that is desperate. Trust me, they are counting on that, they don't just want anybody.
You know what they say...that a sucker is born every minute, or is it every 5 minutes, one of the two. Please don't be the next victim.
I would not like to believe we have so many suckers on this board, but everything in life happens for a reason; some of you here needed to hear this so you will carefully evaluate some decisions you might make in the future.
If you notice, I didn't even address the morality of this issue. It is a moot point as far as I'm concerned because this is not a real position, this is my dear a scam, and not even a very sophisticated one.
Op, I'd suggest you stop oogling the dollar signs, and try to find a job the old fashioned way. You may not work as much, but there's still decent salaries to be had.
Son of a bitch.
Third times the charm?
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=456480507747515257&hl=en
Em made a lot of good points, as did the whore. I can't get over that you thought it was okay to feed and massage him, but you drew the line at belly dancing and a lingerie show. The more I think about it, it's EITHER a very dangerous potential kidnap/sex slave scenario OR a total scam OR (and now I'm leaning toward this) someone getting his jollies off - with you helping to feed his little harem girl fantasy.
Well I think you should totally go for it, if you're comfortable enough. I would take that offer in a heartbeat.
Money does buy everything, it's true,
but don't let it be you.
You have to ASK if you should prostitute yourself?
I don't really think a millionaire shiek would advertise on Criagslist and spend a bunch of time negotiating when he could hire a five diamond girl with one phone call. If he is renting out an entire hotel floor, why wouldn't the concierge offer him everything he needs, including nanny services? Especially if he is a regular customer.
Who knows what this is about. you could end up drugged, raped, and worse. if you are truly this desperate for money, go work at a legal brothel in Nevada, where at least you'll be safe.
Not all scams involve money. And not all identity theft involves your financial identity.
Honey, It's a SCAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tell him I'll show him mt tat-tas for 10 bucks a boob.
Everyone has a price AND a limit. You need to figure out what yours are. I won't judge you nor will I tell you to steer clear or go for it. If you are smart enough to care for a child, you should be smart enough to figure out what this job truly entails. Good luck to you.
This post has scam written all over it, forget about the sheik part. The OP has got to be kidding that she would post on this site whether or not she should be a high price prostitute. Elliot Spitzer anyone??
I am terrified that there are actually posters telling OP to go for it.
This is beyond creepy, scammy and saddening.
OP: Run away, fast, and don't look back!!
**On second thought, I'd try and get his name and contact info, then post it all over Craigslist or wherever he was advertising, and warn everyone else about him.
Great idea Fargo. But better yet, turn his information into whatever governmental agency might investigate this potentially dangerous situation.
The more I think of this, the more it cannot be a real ad. What would a seik even be doing toting a child around the globe on his business dealings? That's completely contrary to their culture...a culture which he claims to be so deeply rooted in that he requires an in house belly dancer. Scam.
And they are dignified people. This is not the 11th century. They do not require concubines to hand feed them grapes. Seiks doing business in western society generally act like western business men. Oh, and the seik called you personally three times? Impossible. Would never happen with a real seik. Never.
Get his info and get him reported to the appropriate authorities. Start by calling the FBI. If they're not the right agency, they'll direct you to where to send your information.
Nellicat, that's the other thing I was thinking (getting the jollies off), but the money won out for me because of how elaborate it is, but it could be either.
The one thing it's not is - real; and I can't believe that after all I've said (and others) on the subject, people are still advising Op to go for it, well here's an idea Op
Why don't you tell them you are not interested, but, you know a few people who would jump at the idea, then you can pass it on to the lunatics here who think it's such a great idea.
Apparently a sucker is born every second.
Op have you tried contacting the hotel where he is going to be staying? They may not tell you anything but they just might. Explain that you were offered a job with this man and he is supposedly staying there but you aren't sure if it's legit. You might find someone who will be sympathetic to you and give you some information
It breaks my heart that money is so needed, people do this. Honey, please don't do this. You do not need to degrade yourself for money... and school will be paid off eventually. Please....
I know Em, I can't believe people on this board think this is legitimate. Everything about the ad screams "Fake!"
FYI,not EVERYONE has a price and a limit.Just wanted to mention that.
Arab men are extremely posessive.I lived in Oak Park,Mi for 5years.(8-12th grades) The surrounding suburbs were dominantly Jewish and Arabic. A Strange combo but true.
On my second day at my new school an Arab boy took a liking to me. He would constantly tell others I belonged to him. He would constantly put his hands on me.After about 6 weks of this,I clocked him and I clocked him good. I was taken to the principals office,where I was informed I must NEVER do any such thing again. I asked why I was in trouble,the kid grabbed me and kissed me and "claimed me". Didn't I have a right to protect myself? It was then in the next hour that I learned that it was for my own safety that I was being warned by the principal.You never disgrace an Arab man or tell him no.Even a teenage one. It could be very dangerous and they had had problems in the past.
In my senior yr,one of my girlfriends worked at the local hospital. It turned out one of her co workers came up missing. A young,white married women and mommy of a little girl.
She dissapeared off the face of the earth!
What happened? She was married to an Arab man who was angry because she wanted a divorce. He beheaded her in the garage. This is what is done with women who "forget their place" or who disgrace a man with the request of divorce..They found human fragments in the garbage disposal which led to the truth and eventually her headless body.
I left that and have not been back in 19 yrs.
I addmittedly do not know how or if things have changed for Arabs in that time?
PLEASE,do not take this job.Even if it is legit,if he takes a liking to you and you want to lv someday,it could be disasterous!
Even "The Nanny" did a parody on this subject with MR. Sheffeild as an evil Sheik who refused to let Fran lv because he fell in love with her.
BE CAREFUL!!!!
To the "professional" who posted the sex slaves documentary link: it was amazing and eye opening. I think everyone should watch it! This sounds exactly like what happened to women on there.
Just in case you missed it:
NO!!...don't do it!
I had a friend who had a friend (yeah, one of those) who dated an Arab and he asked her to marry him. Against her families wishes, she did. He was in his 40's, she was 24. Fast forward 6 years, now they have a kid and she wants a divorce. He is pissed and won't give it to her. So, how does he get her back? He kidnaps his own son and takes him back home. Now she doesn't get to see him, and she has no rights.
Women are 2nd class citizens in their society. Please don't make this monumental mistake. (And that's providing this isn't some kind of scam.. because something just doesn't sound right about the whole thing)
OMG K, that reminds me of a small incident I had in college. I went to UC Irvine, which is heavily Middle Eastern in the student population...at least it was then.
A guy form, I don't remember which country took a liking to me. Iwas not interested, but he was a frined from at least one of my classes, so I spoke to him from time to time. He invited me to play tennis...before I realized he meant for us to date...and I gave him my phone number to set up a time. When he began calling I realized his intentions were somewhat different than what he portrayed, and by the time the prearranged tennis date came up I was so freaked out by the number and content of his phone calls that I didn't show for the tennis game. he began calling incessantly and saying things to me like I shouldn't be wating time playing these foolish games when we had so little time together before he had to return to his country...and we needed to become as close as possible during this time to see if it was going to work out between us. He mentioned me coming to his country, if I recall correctly. I told him flatly that I liked him only as a friend and that I had a serious boyfriend (who is now my husband, BTW...just thought you'd like knowing that.) Every time I was direct with him about my not being interested, or having a boyfriend, he just kept repeating that we had no time for foolish lovers games, and crap to that effect. I remember that once he said that he saw no ring on my finger and so I was obviously up for grabs. I said, "Yeah, and if I cheat on my boyfriend I'll not be getting a ring from him..and he is who I want one from." He kept calling and I was completely dumbfounded by how familiar he was with me when we had literally exchanged nothing more than a few casual hellos or random "nice day isn't it" type of comments. it was creepy. It was also weird to me that I was at least a foot taller than him...AT LEAST. What guy wants that? Last I saw him was a day when he got really mad and yelled something in the middle of campus about me leading him on. That was a real shocker because I had never before or since so directly or repeatedly expressed my disinterest in a man. By the sounds of this, I guess I'm lucky that's all he did...although I could have easily beat the crap out of him if he tried to harm me...he was that small.
::Shudders:: Yeah OP, I have to agree with many that this does have WAY too much potential for scam to even seriously consider taking it on, the concubine issues aside. The suggestion is good to contact that hotel and see if you can verify his alleged stay there, but even so, he could be tossing out someone else's name to make it all seem legit, IF it's not legit. And true, why would a real sheik waste time trying to talk you into accepting a job when he could just wave the money for someone else in a heartbeat? (Unless it's some sick refusal to accept a "no" answer from a female, as per Mom's experience). It's just too fishy all around, and creepy even if it IS all on the up and up.
I didn't even need to read everyone's response that this could be a scam, and yes, sexual slavery. If anyone remembers the movie "Not Without My Daughter" starring Sally Field as Betty Mahmoody, an American woman held captive by her Muslim husband in Iran during the early 80's, Betty was help captive with her daughter and fought like hell to return home. Had she not done what she did, she wouldn't have made it back here. Once you get with that sheik, he will own you for life. I wouldn't take this job, but I would tell him to shove my stilettos up his Arab ass!
You might want to be careful about that Miss Deels, or your heel could end up there inadvertently...as he crouches down to dismember your body into garbage disposal sized morsels.
Did you read the above posts at all?
If all that is true...I'd say definitely better safe than sorry.
I have known some gentle Middle Eastern people who I cannot even ever imagine being that cruel. However, it remains true that not every culture lives by the peace/love/human rights mentality that we do in the US...and although we don't like to think it's actually true...we need to be aware of the fact that many cultures do not value human life the way we do...especially the lives of women. Don't mess where you can't be sure it's safe...because often enough for women associated with men of those cultures, it's really not.
Girl! USE YOUR BRAIN!!!!!!!!
If you take this job, 99% you prob. won't come out of it!
This man is SICK!
He knows that money talks!!!
He finds people that TRUST way to much and brainwash..
Sorry to be so blunt but you would be STUPID if you took that job!
OP HERE!!!
Thanks to all for the advice. I DID NOT take the job. I really appreciate All of your advice. Like some of u guys mentioned, i wanted to make that amount of money to that price, i might as well become a striper (much safer). But guess what? i decided to work as a "decent nanny" to get me through college. That arab said he "wanted me" and that "if i was accustomed to arab traditions, he would ask for my hand" ( WTF?). I firmly talked to the secretary and after ignoring 2 more phone cals from him, everything ended.
Thanks To all... :0)
Good for you OP!
If can open your mind to what the job will eventually entail (which is having sex with him, probably many times over the 3-6 months) then go for it.
Chances are you will establish a closeness with him, caring for his children, massaging and feeding him (as you have already said you would be comfortable with doing).
None of us are naive here. If you are massaging him, you will both become aroused and when that bottom portion of the belly-dancing costume comes off, you will end up with him filling more than your wallet.
Go for it, it's only a short time and you'll make a lot of money. Use protection.
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