I have been with my family for 4 years. At the end of 2007 the mom gave birth to another child, so I am now taking care of a four year old and a one year old. After not receiving a raise for 2 years in a row, I asked for a raise in 2007, because I knew that I would have to do more work with a new baby in the house. I finally received one. My salary went up from $10 /hour to $14/hour. I also received a week of vacation and 5 sick days.When I went to asked for another raise today (I thought I would get a raise every year), I was told that we supposedly had an agreement ... since the year before I had gotten such a "large raise" we supposedly agreed that I would not get a raise until 2 years later (who would agree to such a thing? ... NOT ME!!!). I also asked for more vacation time and was that denied as well!
I am so disappointed! I am going above and beyond my job description ... office work (the have a medical office), organizing birthday parties, shopping, personal errands etc. and I always stay late on last minute notice ... even come on Sundays (although I am not getting paid time and a half, but the $14 I normally get paid. Last year I came over on a whims notice at 10 pm at night, because dad had to have emergency surgery and she didn't have anyone else to take care of the kids while she was with him at the hospital.
I believe I deserve a raise ... not just because a year has gone by, but also because I have to do much more work now that the baby is one year old and can walk around and gets constantly into things! I would like to bring things up again, but don't know how. My husband thinks I should ask the dad, but I feel like I am going behind her back then (I know that dad is generous and he would probably give me a raise). I know she can be a bitch, so I am worried that she will make my job miserable if I go ask dad!
What would you do? Any advice is greatly appreciated
33 comments:
Why not? The dad is a parent too. He has every right to have a say. If not, all the signs are there for your departure and imagine how he'd feel after that and he didn't have a chance to prevent it.....
It all depends on how much you really want to keep this job. Right now, there are NO nanny jobs available in my area, so I wouldn't dare do anything to piss off my bosses. I'm just happy to have a nanny job right now, and don't think I'd be happy doing anything else. I really think you have the right to ask the dad, and the mom shouldn't treat you badly because of it, but knowing her personality, she probably will. At that point, you'll either have to live with it, or quit. Is it worth it to have more money, but have the mom make your life miserable? You have to decide what is really important to you.
I'd recommend that you DO NOT go behind Mom's back. She will obviously find out about it if Dad gives you a raise, and more likely than not she will get pissed off and even more bitchy.
Instead, ask to speak to both of them together, and then bring up how you're doing a lot more than was agreed upon, and you would like a raise. That way, Dad will be there and be able to hear your side, and Mom won't see you as being sneaky.
Do NOT go behind the Mom's back. That's just juvenile. Do you like it when the kids ask you for something, you say no, and then the kids go and ask their mom?
RE-POST FOR ANONYMOUS:
Anonymous said...
Cheap? I think you should be thankful for what you make- especially in this economy. I completely understand when you asked for a raise when the baby arrived- but unless you have a contract stating a raise once a year- than I would be thankful in what you make.
6:03 AM
YOU NEED A MONIKER!!
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Anonymous said...
typically, id demand a raise but with this economy anyone at this point is lucky to get paid anything. $4 an hour raise seemed substantial from the previous year granted all the things that you do for them. so now maybe dont go above and beyond? just do what you think you get paid for then you wont feel bad. instead of a raise id probably negotiate another week of vacation. that seems more fair.
6:22 AM
YOU NEED A MONIKER!!
Bad Economy. Bad Move.
Don't Do It, Unless You Don't Mind Taking The Chance You Might Be Out Of A Job!
Going to the dad is a bad, bad move considering you already went to the mom and she said no.
And, just from your post, I don't see any precedent for you receiving a raise every year and you did get a $4 an hour raise just last year. I would be happy i had a job in these times and just shut up.
You got a 40% raise last year, so unless you are still paid below market rate for a nanny in your area, I think you should not demand a raise this year. (And I mean actual average salaries in your area...not the matching salary of some highly compensated nanny that you know, or heard rumor of.)
And if an empoyee asked me for a raise and I said no, I would fire her for then going to my husband behind my back. It's not a matter of being bitchy. It's a matter of an employee using a divide and conquer strategy within a marriage. You would be asking your employers husband to ally himself with you over her. Bad plan.
My husband and I discuss these things...as I suspect most couples do. I suspect they agreed together that you do not get a raise this year. And, although he may be nice, that doesn't mean he's ready and willing to screw his wife over behind her back just because you ask him to. (What really nice guy does that?) He may lose all respect for you too.
OP here!
Thanks for all the great advice!
I do think going to the dad will not be a very good move, so I will just let it be.
Believe me, I am very happy to have a job in this economy and I am happy to be with this family.
I just did not appreciate her putting words into my mouth ... I did certainly not agree to forgo getting a raise this year ... I would remember if I did that. If she would have said that she was not going to be able to pay more due to the economic situation (although I know for sure that they are doing extremely well ... even better than last year), I would have been totally fine with that. But putting things in my mouth that I never said is just wrong!!!
I will definetely not go above and beyond for them anymore. I will do the things that we had agreed upon, but nothing more.
I think that this will be best for everyone.
OP, I would be upset as well if someone claimed I said something which I did not. That in itself would put a bad taste in my mouth!!
Yes, do not go behind her back. Agreed on. And $14/hour is pretty good for a nanny job. There are no nanny jobs in my area now, probably due to the bad economy so just try to keep this job and appreciate the salary for now.
I agree with you about not going above and beyond. Just make sure you do not neglect the children in the process because they are not even part of the real problem here.
Good Luck
You should sit down with BOTH of the parents.
1. So you don't feel like you're going behind someone's back
2. Maybe there could be a balance, the dad's generous,the mom's cheap.....maybe the dad can reason with her.
Anonymous makes a goood point.
Your employer may see your suddenly not going that extra mile (whether it is extra work you took upon yourself to do or not...they have probably come to expect that you do it because you feel it is a part of doing a good job as a nanny) as your pouting over not getting a raise. (Which is technically what it will be.) They will come home to find more and more things they have come to take for granted undone, and this will annoy them (whether they realize they are not part of your contract or not.) They may see it as a power play. They may become resentful. They may look for one of those lower paid but harder working nannies that anonymous just mentioned.
All of these people mentioning that there are no nanny jobs available in their areas makes me wonder how many nannies are out there scratching for work. Probably some really good ones whose employers have fallen on hard times. Be careful.
And yes, it is the market, not the employers' net worth that determines salaries in most cases. We're not hurting, but we're certainly not spending unnecessarily right now either. That's what smart people do in an uncertain economic market. People seem to have this mentality that rich people can afford to basically throw money away. I've got news: In most cases they got rich in the first place by NOT throwing money around. Smart money management is what separates the wealthy from the poor in a lot more cases than we probably realize. That's why so many people who win those mega lotteries are broke again within two years. That's how somebody like Donald Trump comes back from financial destruction and rebuilds his fortune to even more than it was.
RE-POST FOR ANONYMOUS:
Anonymous said...
As an employer, I know that moms can be bitchy. However, dads also hear it from the mom. There is nothing that the dad can do without compromising his relationship with his wife. So, as you already know, don't go good parent hunting.
With regards to the economy, there are two aspects. There is the employer's economic status and there is the nanny market. Even if your employer is not hurting, she knows that the actual cost of a NEW nanny is lower in a bad economy. She also knows that after denying a wage raise, SOME nannies start working to rule and start doing less than they used to. If she is as "bitchy" as you say she is, she will not be happy with your new work habits.
You may soon be out of a job and replaced by someone who charges less and works more diligently.
12:27 PM
(Good Post!!!)
Damn good post to "Mom" & "Anonymous"! OP, please be careful just how many duties you cut back on. MB just may replace you if you start trying to "get even" on your pay.
If I were you, I'd wait until next year to ask again. And in the meantime, I could understand cutting back an unnoticeable smidge, but certainly not enough that MB will catch on. And DON'T cut corners on your care with the kids!
Is it typical to receive a raise when a baby reaches the toddler stage? It seems a little off to me.
I mean, taking care of their child is your job. I could see if their child suddenly became special needs, but the change from baby to toddler is a change you know is coming.
It just seems like you are complaining about the basic job duties. I mean, running around after a toddler is what you are getting paid to do.
Yes, you might have to physically move a bit more, but you don't have to change as many diapers.
Is the 4 year-old in a pre-school of some sort? If so, did you receive less money when she started?
Not trying to be rude...it just struck me as an odd statement.
Go ahead and ask the husband, and be prepared to be fired. Ditto for slacking on your job duties. I know I would fire my anny in a heartbeat. You just received a 40% raise and are complaining about not receiving another raise in a year when millions are out of work? Your contempt and jelousy for the Mrs. comes through by describing her asking you to babysit in an emergency as "coming over on a whims notice." When entitled attitude workers list rountine tasks they do with great indignation, you know they are reaching to justify their demands. Remember, no matter how many tasks you do, you are getting PAID and are only doing one thing at once, so you can't say, oh I do childcare and offoce work so should be paid double the salary.
you do deserve a raise. tell the parents that you need to speak with both of them at the same time. voice your concerns again. if they both deny you then maybe its time to get a new job. you really should have a written work agreement if you dont already have one. be very clear about what duties, and what times, you are willing to work. good luck.
I am so glad you aren't my nanny! I'd fire you on the spot if you went behind my back. Your attitude sucks as well. Just having hired a new nanny, I can tell you that the job market is tough out there. I had a lot of nannies interview that they were willing to take a lot less than we were planning on offering.
Yes, she most likely WILL make your life miserable if you go behind her back and approach her husband about something you know she has already given you an answer on. And could very likely fire you. That's just like a 3 year old getting an answer they don't like from Mommy so going to ask Daddy instead. It's dumb and transparent and you should expect to be fired for it.
I'd say approach the dad and request a meeting with BOTH of them to go over your requests one more time. If THEY will not meet your requirements, you can either stick it out or start looking for a new job and give notice.
I have never had a job where I automatically got a job every year...in my current position (not childcare related) I've been with them almost 5 years and have had 2 raises. When I was young and working in an office I was hired at $13/hour and promised a raise after 6 months and I did not get a raise (50 cents!!) until I had been there a year and a half...and I worked my ass off, went above and beyond, etc.
So it's probably not "fair" but it's also pretty normal and not unique to nannying that you didn't get a raise 2 years in a row.
sorry, that should read "I've never had a job where I automatically got a RAISE every year"
Not a nanny. A lot of people are in this profession because it does come with a ton of perks.
You can't simply compare it to another job.
I realize some people get miffed that nannies really have some great benefits when they don't, too bad!
Most of us get 4 weeks vacation each year. It's just one of those things, with this oh so wonderful profession.
Professional nannies do get a yearly raise.
As for the talking to Dad behind Moms back, that is just in such poor taste.
I believe the reason you never got a raise before was because of your own lack of professionalism. You ought to know what your rights are before taking a job, and I think the mOm was very nice to offer you such a big raise when she did.
It is at that time that you should have discussed further compensation.
As for doing less work? wow.
Here's a thought people. Stop doing extra to get people to like you. It's tired, it's old, and people just use you anyway.
My work stands on its own. I don't do extras to make them like me any more than they do. nor to keep my job.
I DO MY JOB. That is what I'm being paid for, not to kiss butt; which i would never do in a million years anyway.
Stop doing favors because most of it is not done from the heart and when you don't get what you think you should you get very bitter.
I pretty much make a conscious effort NOT to do anything extra, but I perform my job brilliantly.
Try to do that, and stop spiting the parents for what is your fault.
Do not go behind her back. If she is the one who handles childcare stuff like paying you, you just have to deal with her. I called my male boss to let him know that I was sick in bed and couldn't come to work because my female boss would be so mad ( at my job I can not get sick or I will be fired). That was adding insult to injury!!! I have spoken to some moms and they wouldn't like that and especially if they are the ones handling nanny issues.
open your bum cheeks and toot in her face...
Well, assuming you have a work agreement, go back and refer to the duties outlined and then make a list of what you do above and beyond. Then, ask for a meeting to discuss how much your duties have expanded and ask for a higher wage.
Of course, you should also have in your WA a schedule of raises, so maybe that's the direction to take.
Or, be happy with your 40% pay raise, and wait another year for a new raise. Averaged out, you got about 5% per year worked, plus a 20% newbaby raise. Not all that bad.
I wouldn't bring this up with the Dad. I'm a Mom who had a Nanny who would repeatedly only address things with my husband. It especially bothered me because the issues she brought up impacted my work schedule.
If you truly want to bring this up again, then it's best to bring it up with the both of them, at the same time. Going behind her back would be like a child not getting a yes from Mom so s/he goes to Dad. More than likely, they will present a uniform front, and if they don't and he sides with you, the Mom will surely be upset.
Ugh. You sound like an entitled, petty employee, nanny or otherwise. Who on earth would even consider it possibly reasonable to go behind the Mom's back and ask the Dad for a raise when Mom already said No? You just got a 40% raise and want another one now because the baby walks around more? Does that mean you think your employees should give you a pay reduction once the youngest is in preschool a few hours a day or becomes more self-sufficient?
And you are still hung up on the fact that you once helped the family out by coming over to sit when dad needed emergency surgery last year?!?
This post is really silly. You have been employed by them for 4 years, clearly had communication issues in the past, and still haven't thought to PUT EVERYTHING IN WRITING! This includes your dtuies (so you can't go "above and beyond (your) job description" without it being obvious to both of you); your schedule for raises; hours; vacation; sick days; etc. No one is entitled to an annual raise unless it states that in a Work Agreement, which clearly you don't have. Many, many jobs from blue collar to the highest level corporate jobs do not include guaranteed annual raises or bonuses.
Absolutley ludicrous that you feel entitled to a raise in this economy one year after a 40% raise. So, please do the family a favor and "stop going above and beyond for them anymore" so they can see you for the greedy, petty employee you are, fire you, and hire someone more deserving asap!
Listen "Disgusted" ... OP here!
I never said I wanted to go behind dads back. I said that my husband made the suggestion. I was against it ... hence the post of wanting advice on how to resolve the matter otherwise!
I do not think I am entitled to a raise and yes I go above and beyond. But they are a very nice family and I want to help out as much as I can ... they are very busy with work and need my help!
I love the children and I really like the parents! I am not greedy or anything ... I was just stating the facts to give you a better understanding where I was coming from.
Hey, I am not getting a raise ... and that is fine! I will still take excellent care of the children and give them lots of love.
I just wish mom would not have put words in my mouth! I never did aggree on no raise this year and that's what ticked me off!
I am very happy with the salary I am making and would not leave just because I didn't get more money this year!
Pfft, it bugs me when people tell OP to just be grateful she has a job. Like anyone with a beef about their jobs should just put up or shut up because a bunch of rich ass holes and self-entitled politicians fucked up the global economy.
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