CAN YOU KEEP THOSE CHILDREN QUIET?

New nanny here!

I had a third party suggest me as a live-in nanny for a family in Philadelphia. We met, interviewed and they hired me. And now I live in Philadelphia!!!

I have never worked as a nanny per say, before. I worked in a daycare and at a camp. I have never lived with anyone that wasn't family.

I figured it would take awhile to adjust but I am also afraid the family is not happy with me. I really want to keep this job.

One complaint I have heard to my face is that I do not keep the children quiet.  The father is a musician and works late into the night and likes to sleep very late in the day, sometimes until dinner. It is summer time and I like to keep the kids busy but it isn't always possible to be out of the home. What do you do when a parent says, "Can I get some quiet in this house?" all of the time? Like I said, it is summer. He seems to be a very grumpy person, like he yells a lot. Then when he does wake up, sometimes things are going on. One time, he woke up and his son and I had built a tent in the dining room with blankets and chairs and stuff. He walked in and got mad and said, "what the fuck is this? This is why we have a playroom, a backyard. This is why they have their own bedrooms." Then he kicked at the fort and went and made something to eat, but slamming drawers and cupboards the whole time.

I don't feel he likes me. I really wanted to make this work at least for a year. The mom is a physician and doesn't yell or stuff. She seems to like me.

Trouble on the job? Email isynblog@gmail.com.

Rude.com

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The Meeting

   

     On Tuesday, my new nanny asked if we would have time to have a meeting some time this week, just to 'catch up' and see 'what's working and what isn't'.  I suggested Thursday night. (Tonight). This meeting was her idea. She knew when I would be home. However, the kids were running around demanding my attention and hers. Had she planned better, she might have had them set up with an activity or even a movie.
     Once I got the children engaged in a project I sat across from her and asked 'what's on your mind?'
     She then began to go on at length about what the boys were eating for breakfast and how she tries to follow a paleo diet and she could leave me a grocery list so the boys could be sent off to school with whole grain waffles adorned with pears and blue berries. I smiled politely, but I was cringing inside. You see, we're just not that family.
     She also made some organizational suggestions, particularly with morning and afternoon routines. Some of these were interesting and will likely be time saving. I thanked her.
     She then said that..and this is with a big build up...that she could not any longer, in good conscience give my boys cow milk. She offered three solid minutes of explanations and two solid minutes of alternatives. I looked at her, suppressed my irritation and said, "do they ask for milk" and she said, 'yes, but only because it is all they know'. She then went on at length about how she would at her own expense bring in soy or almond milk and let them try it. I'm looking across the table at this girl and this really means something to her, so I suggested that she take some of the house money and buy a half gallon of what she thought best.
     I smile and ask if there is anything else on her mind. She says, 'there is, but I just can't bring myself to bring it up'. I suggested that she could. The kids were stirring and coming to us for evening snacks. She tells me, 'The timing is all wrong. I'm sorry.' Then she gets tears in her eyes. I ask her if she is okay and she says, 'I'm sorry, yes, no everything is fine.' I have one child climbing up my leg and I say as nicely as I can, 'we'll talk more tomorrow, okay?' She nods, gathers her things, says good bye to the kids and leaves.
      What was that? She's been here three weeks. It was the oddest conversation I've ever had, certainly the oddest I've ever had at my own kitchen table. I was a little perturbed, but I was very kind to her and I believe I always have been. She seems to like the children and they like her. I'm sitting here thinking I've hurt her feelings. And hoping I can remedy that in the morning, if that was the case. What else could it be?