Sexual Harassment ?

Here is something that has been bothering me for a week, and although I did speak to someone about it, I am seeking other's opinions, along with advice about how to see and speak to this individual when I see them again, along with what to do should the incident happen again. It's not related to childcare, but I'm sure some reader may have experienced this themselves with a DB or someone else, or they may know someone who has experienced this issue.

My weekend nanny position came to an end, and in order to maintain close to the same income from my nanny position, I accepted a job in retail and was hired on the spot due to my extensive retail experience. Everything is going great except for a manager that I have lost respect for. The reason? The way he speaks to me, his tone, and what he said recently, that makes me question if it was sexual harassment.

Last weekend (Saturday) I noticed it was close to the end of my shit (6p) and I motioned to this manager that it was time for me leave, and I asked him if I could take care of the customers in my lane, turn off my light and leave. He tells me in a sharp tone that it's retail, and I cannot leave. I accidentally turned off my light, and he comes back over and turns it back on, telling me " 'you may control most of the men in your life, but you can't control me' " in front of a customer. It sounded inappropriate and I have seen him staring at me before in a certain way, such when I said hello to him on my off day (I was grocery shopping) and when I was leaving I thanked him for helping me find a product. He was like " 'no, thank YOU' ", while checking me out. On this particular day he laid into me, and had me leave work in tears. There are only three occasions when I have cried at work: once when my cat died (he died while I wasn't home), when a parent told me I was too stupid, fat and lazy to work with children (her son was in my class and she didn't like me for an unknown reason) and now this. I was so upset I cried as I was walking upstairs, and I ran out of the store and to the safety of my car. Not only did his comment hurt, but what else he said (not relevant to the topic) in private.

The reason why I wonder could this be sexual harassment is due to the things he has said about other females:

" 'I haven't seen ____ all night. ____ must be in the back banging her back out' ". The "her" in this statement, is a young female manager who is very sweet and understanding. He said this to another male employee, but I don't think he realized I heard him.

Another female employee has fibromyalgia, and a skin condition of sorts. She mentioned something to this manager about her condition because she needed to leave work due to illness, and he told her it looks like herpes on her leg. (She has a large sore that's not contagious related to her skin condition.)

I've had anxiety about working with him,and from what I heard, he is very abrasive to female employees. HR already has had these employees complain, and I spoke with HR about him as well. She mentioned she talked to him. but I'm wondering if he was talked to. If and should he speak to me like this again, I am considering going above my store director's head and right to corporate.

Sexual harassment? What do you think?


Anonymous said...

In an age of technology, is it possible to record him with voice recording or even better, video behaving this way.
Very inappropriate.
Sorry you have to deal with that! Good luck and keep us in the know! We care!

Anonymous said...

Honestly? It doesn't sound like sexual harassment at all. What he said wasn't of a sexual nature. And the "banging her back out" thing sounds more like sarcasm about her pounding on her back or something. Don't get me wrong, this guy sounds like a total douchebag, and if there's another manager you're comfortable talking to, I'd say something about his attitude towards you and others. But I wouldn't accuse him of sexual harassment.

Anonymous said...

I agree with above. Doesn't soubd like sexual harassment. This guy sounds like he needs to be kicked you know where- major wake up call. Sounds like a real jerk. Talk to someone you work for and trust. Nobody deserves this..

Anonymous said...

"He tells me in a sharp tone that it's retail, and I cannot leave. I accidentally turned off my light, and he comes back over and turns it back on, telling me " 'you may control most of the men in your life, but you can't control me' " in front of a customer. "

I don't know about the thought process or life experience of two in the comment section directly above my own, but that comment you quoted from this supervisor is most certainly IS of a sexual and COMPLETELY inappropriate nature. And "banging her back out" is about having sex.

Get away from this creep. Transfer departments (and tell HR the comment you quoted) or just get another job. Crap retail positions always manage on fear, because they have little to offer. They will make it seem you are totally replaceable in a heartbeat, but you know what....so are their crap jobs. In the meantime log everything he says that makes you uncomfortable and keep it handy. Don't be alone with this guy for any reason. Not for closing, not for anything. Screaming is unacceptable and don't let his tantrum antics control or scare you.

Anonymous said...

Yeah the controlling men in your life comment is definitely inappropriate and sexual harassment.

mandynanny said...

Definitely go to corporate he should be fired for the outburst, and demanding you work late.Thats completely unreasonable. Sorry this happened to you,I hope he gets fired

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Hah, I used to work at Walmart and I was sexually harassed by a man about 20 years my senior.. He joked about pulling my hair during sex (I had very long hair down to my butt..)
Both my mom and I personally went to my supervisor and told them about him. All he got was a slap on the wrist and required "training" for like a week or something. Pretty crazy, huh?