Wednesday

The Whole Thing is Odd

I noticed something odd and have to wonder is this the first time this has ever happened in nanny-land?

I live on a cul-de-sac. I see things.

My neighbors across the way got a new puppy for Christmas. They have been doting on this puppy. The nanny too, is good with the puppy. That isn't the problem.

In fact, there are two. One I have wanted to address and didn't know how, and one that seems implausible to address.

The nanny seems quite good with the children. She lives there. During the afternoons when the children are napping or having "downtime", her male friends will pop by to visit. They do not go in the house, which on the surface seems respectful of her employers. However, I am left with sight of them on a near daily basis. Sitting on the hood of cars, blasting music loud enough to be annoying, but certainly legal, swilling Monster drinks and generally just posing about like street toughs. I've not seen but one girl visit her. Most of them are males. They are hard looking with tattoos, cars with tinted windows, fins, rims and the like.  I had been seeking a way to introduce to the parents, possibly by way of myself and a third neighbor that we do not like the element she is bringing to the neighborhood. They hang out and see deliveries come all day for neighbors. I cannot help but realize they could be even subconsciously casing the house.  They just seem a bit uncivilized and, well of course, who else is free to do multiple visits during a week/work day? Sometimes they will bring her a frozen coffee drink. Anyway, be that as it may, we have yet to find a way to express our concerns to the neighbor without causing a cul-de-sac wide rift.

Add to this mind you, that on two times that I witnessed, one pair of males brought a pit-bull type breed, (possibly pure, I am not a dog person) to the house and entered the backyard with her. While it isn't politically correct, I do have an issue with the breed, and the breed in the neighborhood, but that isn't the oddness of which I speak.

In talking to my neighbor last evening, while she was walking her dog, she told me that on Friday he is going to the vet and checking in to get fixed. I have a very sound and sneaking suspicion that they were trying to impregnate their female dog with her male.  And while I know, simply mentioning the breed of the dog, the exposure of the dog to her yard and dog is enough to say when we do talk, I do wonder. How would you feel if your nanny was using your very young dog as a stud? Is this a legal activity? Is it moral? I am guessing there would be no proof. My husband seems to think that while it is wrong to bring a questionably vaccinated dog in the proximity of their dog, that these street toughs may have been doing an act of kindness for the male dog before his renouncement surgery.

Having followed this blog for the past few months, I saw a post just last week (?) about a neighbor who sent her neighbor an anonymous note and was attacked for it. What is the best practice for this? I know this blog is for nannies that someone might see while out and about and for people to connect to the unknown parents, but what if reaching known parents causes an angry outburst from the parent in front of your child? Can I submit a sighting to the blog of what I have observed? I think a photo of the guys vamping around their car would be enough to alert the parents that rascality is at play.

Thoughts from the blog moderators? From parents? From neighbors in upscale hamlets that may have to deal with similar waggishness?

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is this 1950?

Lifelong New Yorker said...

I'm pretty sure you're racist, and not just for dogs. I think you should keep your 1950s mouth shut and mind your own business.

Anonymous said...

I honestly couldn't follow this post-- no clear storyline.

Anonymous said...

What you are describing is discrimination. Just because somebody looks a certain way doesn't mean they're going to steal your packages and break into your homes! Also..maybe you should get a job instead of looking out your window all day long snooping on your neighbors. Yet you talk about what other people do during the work week/day. You have no control over if a neighbor wants to have a pit bull..whether you like the breed or not. And you certainly have no control over someone's choice in friends. She lives there. She she is a tenant. She is allowed guests. Especially given the fact that she is respectful enough not to bring then inside. Get a life and stay out of your neighbors.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking the same thing...what Era are we in??? Lol!!! I feel like they are just not the kind of people you would normally be around and it makes you uncomfortable. It's not illegal or immorality to hang with your friends, play, your music, and drink monsters...now maybe if you would have said the bus out a fifth of vodka and the shot glasses then yea that's cause for concern. Otherwise please get out of your windows snooping and find something to occupy your time.

Anonymous said...

If you have that much time to spy on them do you have a life ? You sound like those old frustrated ladies that stalk the every move of their neighbour for entertainment.

Anonymous said...

*immoral

Anonymous said...

Exactly what I was thinking...lol

Anonymous said...

Sorry about my typos trying to type fast and not reading before I post...ooooopppppppsssss :(

Jmaria said...

This sounds like an English creative writing assignment for high school. Lmfao

"Waggishness"? "Rascality"? "Swilling"? Good job with vocabulary.

You get a B just for the humor.

Now please, get a life.

melissa said...

Is this even real? I mean, if they really were "casing" the neighborhood, wouldn't it be a bit obvious??? You remind me of the snoopy neighbor from Bewitched. Get a life.

RBTC said...

please keep in mind you have alot of nannies on here. i am a homeowner who used to be a nanny. i would like to hear from some homeowners

i would be concerned seeing an element like that hanging around not working, and it would be surprising to me if the nanny has permission to hang out with friends while she is supposed to be taking care of the kids

i also live on a cul de sac and you better believe all the homeowners make it our business to know who has business being around and who doesn't - it keeps the value of the homes positive

you have every right to get some kind of dialogue going in a very professional way to make sure all is on the up and up

Anonymous said...

Pitbulls are not inherently dangerous...and neither are black people.

Anonymous said...

People are allowed in that neighborhood, there isn't a gate saying they aren't welcome. Nor are they doing anything illegal. You are just racist. Your home value won't be affected if the TENANT of this house (that's right, she pays for it) invites guests over while the children are SLEEPING. Also correct, nannies take breaks once in a while, big fucking shocker. You're worried they don't have jobs, but you don't either. Maybe if you got one you wouldn't concern yourself with someone else's business. Go watch a soap opera and eat your bonbons.

RBTC said...

anon - are you talking to me? i definitely have a job, i own my own child-related business and have for 30 years. i missed the part where it said the kids on the street were black. My own cul de sac has people of all colors which i think is great

yes the live in is a tenant, but what we do not know is - does she have an agreement with the mother that she can invite guys to hang out on the street while she is working? and it does not matter if the guys are black white brown or purple. I would like an update if the OP can get one

my cul de sac - with all color people - is pretty nice, not rich, and we had a problem a few years ago with young people playing loud music and hanging out - the homeowners assoc. put a stop to it, i am not sure how but it made the majority glad.

i will leave the soap operas to your absolutely charming and articulate self - but yes i will have a bon bon and probably a starbuck as well - it's nice to work hard for a living and have money and a home ! God bless America lol

MNnanny said...

I can't with this post. Probably the dumbest thing I've ever seen on this site.

Anonymous said...

OP should take time to get to know the nanny in a friendly way instead of watching her every move. Maybe then she can make a friend, get answers and let her know they would appreciate the music to stop being played so loud. I am a nanny, married, been in the early childhood field for 20 years. I like turning the tunes up while driving. There is a time and place however for it and I am respectful at my bosses house and neighborhood. They to love music and having a good time but there are limits. It's all about the way you go about things and approach people. Don't just assume things and label others. Take sometime out and get to know her and you may be surprised. We nannies are human to and just as good as all of you so treat us the way you would want to be and see what happens.

RBTC said...

i took the time to read this post again carefully and i do not see color of any kind mentioned in it - so it makes me wonder why the poster who cried racism assumed the boys are black. The OP can be overly quaint in some use of words but aspects of the behaviour she is worried about is reasonable.

To me, as a homeowner - it all boils down to - does the nanny have permission to have all her friends hang out while she is charged with the children

and - if she does have permission - is the behaviour of the crowd reasonable - loud music blaring sounds unreasonable for this cul de sac, and - it is an unfortunate fact of life that crowds of young unemployed boys ( of any color) can have negative results in any neighborhood - i speak from experience in my cul de sac

If the nanny does not have permission for the animals and guests then i hope the mother learns quickly for her and the children's sake so the situation can be solved for all parties

Any homeowner or neighbor has the right to stick up for themselves and their welfare without being subjected name calling and foul language

on another note - i was raised to abhore racism and i have noticed today that some people ( of all colors ) use the R-bomb simply when they disagree with someone - i hope someday this stops as this practice destrys the true meaning of the word - racism

melissa said...

The race of the men was never mentioned. Just saying.

melissa said...

Where is the racism? Nobody mentioned race...

Anonymous said...

And seriously if you have THAT MUCH time in hand to spy on your neighbours , your life is probably boring and you spice it up through spying on them.

Anonymous said...

I was referring to the OP, but if you want to assume it's for you, maybe you have an ego issue. I didn't mention race at all in my post. I'm assuming the OP is white by the way in which she (I'm also assuming OP is a she, like most people on the site do) describes the people hanging around. She made careful note not to mention race for a reason, because she'd be called out a racist. But it's easy to see through that.

Also anon, what does not having a job have to do with working hard? That's exactly the opposite. Owning a home? Good for you? That's all nonsense.

Anonymous said...

Yikes, this cannot be real, right? No one is this crazy or bored in life!
The whole story can be summarized to : "Nannies should be invisible as all help, this nanny has friends and likes dogs - must report."

Anonymous said...

^^LOL.

Anonymous said...

Yea but we all know what she's saying.

RBTC said...

no, it's not all nonsense, sound can actually be used as a weapon ie branch davidians. i have been in 2 living situations where noise pollution was an issue and am glad those days are past

in the past it got confusing with all the anonymouses out there so they numbered them lol anon1 2 3 etc, another anonymous near the top was calling everything racist

c'mon - all you guys who say the posts are "dumb" "fake" etc - why do you guys come here?

even the Ops who may be kind of irritating or not nice usually come here for help and suggestions - if they are true and they probably are - namecalling and cursing could result in harming the kids

it's just my opinion but this site is important as a child activist site - every post should be considered an opportunity to help a child

Layla said...

Where did the OP say the kids are black?? I didn't see that. Who would even think that?? Wow.

OP - I would call the police. If they are playing loud music, that is noise polution and it is not ok. I would definitely mention all of this to the mother, as well.

RBTC said...

The OP did not mention color - just a "rough" element espousing loud music, beverages, tatoos, animals on the property - it could be any color or group. Thank you for the voice of reason layla

i hope the OP checks back and let's us know what happens - a major element is if the nanny has permission to have all these guys on or adjacent to her bosses' proprty during the day

if she has permission then it is what it is, but if not - it's a big disservice to her bosses trust

Anonymous said...

RBTC... this wasn't a post that would have anything to do with the safety of the child. Op said that the nanny was good at her job. Period. She's just bored with her pathetic life that she has to intervene in other's, and then further judge something she knows nothing about. These people making occasional visits to a person that may like to have company on her break aren't creating any trouble for the neighborhood. They play music, I'm sure if she asked them to, they would turn it down. What's really her problem that we can help her with? Suggesting more fulfilling hobbies? Sure, go and do that.

What I was referencing your nonsense of bringing up owning a home and working...this woman doesn't work and you're assuming that she owns the house.

This post was nothing more than an attempt to further limit the nanny's rights to her own home. She's allowed guests, she's a resident of that neighborhood. Get over it.

RBTC said...

anon- we will just have to disagree - i own a business and i have had the issue of people bringing their friends and kids to the job - she is a member of the neighborhood but while the kids are napping she is on the clock and yes we do need more information to fully understand the situation. A blog post is not something to get so angry about - i hope you have a better day tomorrow !

Amy said...

The first thought that came to mind when I read the "boys'" description was the jersey boy types I grew up around who are, although quite dark skinned, officially considered "white" so it's all up to interpretation I suppose.

Monika Bergen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MB said...

Hush, you sound ridiculous

Anonymous said...

Youre retarded