How Fine is the Line Between Lazy & Neglectful?

     At what point would a parent be considered lazy or neglectful? I'm contemplating contacting CPS regarding a family with four children: 8, 6, 2 and 1. Mom has made it clear that she doesn't want children, and I am seeing the effects of her lack of parenting, which is either lazy or neglectful, as evident by the condition of the children and things that just aren't normal for development.

Neglectful Motherhood - So Fashionable  (Jezebel)

     The 1 year old has black wax build up in her ears that has been there for over two weeks, and it was brought to the mother's attention. That level of wax should not exist, and often times one has to have wax flushed out of their ears by a doctor. This was last week, and the wax is still there. They are brought to school without shoes; on Monday this happened and the 2 year old was able to borrow a pair from the center, which Mom explained he lost them and she didn't know where they were. They bought him new shoes which are a size smaller than he needs (we figured this out by having the 2 try on a peer's shoes and they fit better than the one he is wearing) causing blisters on his feet. They arrive with dirty faces and clothes, reeking of odor, like they haven't been bathed. Yesterday, the 2 arrives with a face full of chocolate and dried food stuck to his shirt, today he arrived playing with the handle of a toy purse. His clothes and him smell like neither has been washed.

     From a development observation, both children are way behind. The 2 is unable to sit for group time, in a chair to eat a meal. He cannot use utensils or drink from an open cup. He is also non verbal, showing lack of understanding when you speak to him, shows no emotion or empathy for anything or anyone. He cannot sit down for group time, runs away from the group, and takes toys from other children. I get that these are typical behaviors of 2's, but in comparison to the other 2's, he is clearly behind. The other 2's are able to sit for group time (for the most part), they show emotion and empathy, are verbal, using two word sentences, do pretty well with utensils, and they do take toys from other children, but understand "please give that back," or "she/he had it first, let's find something new to play with", etc. This child understands nothing, and the saddest part is Mom does nothing, and that's obvious. As for the 1 year old, she eats off the floor and other's children's plates, cannot sit in a toddler sized chair, and cries non stop. The older children have dropped hints that they are responsible for the siblings care quite often, leaving many of us to wonder who is actually caring for these children.

      It's frustrating and draining, because of the situation. Call me judgmental if you want, but this mother is a flake, and I wonder if she is on something. This child needs an intervention, an evaluation, and IFSP. My gut is telling me something isn't right with this family, based on what I have seen. Everyone can see it as well, from directors to teachers. We are documenting everything that is said by the parents, the children's condition they arrive in each morning, along with things that we ask for from the family in a log for both of the younger children. This child needs one-on-one care, and I cannot provide that for him with a roomful of other children. It's almost as if Mom doesn't even know her own children or has a lack of contact with any of them.

Lazy parent or neglectful? At what point would you call social services?

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