School Supplies

     I have been with this family for 7 weeks and my boss is still trying to show me what a good person she is. I am a single mom and my 5 year old will be starting kindergarten in the Fall. Friday evening, she went through the whole "how was your week thing" and then got a serious look on her face. She said, "I have given this some serious thought and I want to take care of the school supplies for *Jane this year. We could get her set up with everything she needs and it would just make me feel good to be able to do that for you."

     Okay, nice right? Except that I don't know what she is thinking. My daughter is starting public kindergarten. At best, she needs $20 of supplies. Is she suggesting coats and shoes and clothes? She really had this conversation with me using a whole lot of drama, like it was a big thing. I am paid fairly, but not overpaid by any means. If she is offering to help, I want to take her up on everything she is willing to do because it is less for me to have to do.
I wasn't sure how to bring it back up, so on this last Friday (a week after the original conversation), I told her I wuold probably start shopping on the weekend. She said, "Oh no, wait, I want to take her." Now I am more confused!


Anonymous said...

Dude, don't go there. This will come back to haunt you. She sounds like the mother on Spanglish. Does she have a daughter? If not, sounds like she may be trying to 'foster' yours. :/


CN said...

This. If you had been working for her for years and she knew your family well, my opinion might be different. Maybe she's just a really nice person, but my concern is she's one of those people who likes to throw their money around, but with strings attached. She'll offer and even insist on buying/doing things, and then hold them over your head later. Especially if your working relationship doesn't work out.

Beth Bartylla said...

Can totally see my mom and mother in law doing this, some people just ate genuinely nice. However, I can see the flip side as well. Trust your gut, if you're not feeling good about it just decline, she's your daughter afterall. Good luck!

Beth Bartylla said...


Anonymous said...

That sounds amazing to us single moms! But it might be trickery. If you really want to go for it try to plan something with her? Then when the time comes to pay let her step up :p. But if i were you.i would thank her very sincerely and say that you have already gotten everything you need. Get to know her a little better before accepting generous offers like that

Anonymous said...

This might be a good catalyst to get clarity in expectations, so you and she can feel comfortable in your communications and daily give and take.

Boundaries are still being adjusted in the relationship and until they settle these conversations will probably stay awkward.

If you cannot have a good constructive conversation about what she means to do and why, what it should mean to her, you and the job relationship then you should adjust boundaries as appropriate.