Keeping Mum and Sending Mail in The Hamptons

Estiu_Iv Orlov
I am in the Hamptons with the family I work with. Dad comes down three days a week. It's mom and I mostly. She has a large circle of friends with children 2-10 that her children play with. My job is to follow the kids wherever they go. Even if they are playing at Mrs. Mack's house, I am there. If they are invited to the beach with Mrs. Jack, I go.

I see a lot. One thing I saw that I know I should not have seen is Dad in town on Thursday before he even announced his arrival to his family. I can't use any location specifics because I have a non disclosure agreement so I can't say more, but I saw him on Thursday day with the nanny of one of the families that their children play with. Because of where they were and what I observed, there was no mistaking that they had a physical involvement.

I sat on this morsel of information all weekend and watched Mr. Big as her went about his Dad and husband duties. As a woman, it scared me, because there was not a clue that he had just been finger pleasuring a nanny that he separated from with three meaningful kisses. 1,2,3.

On Saturday, I took the kids to the beach with Mimi, Mrs. Smith's nanny. Mrs. Smith showed up and sat up her chair next to us and began reading. Then my boss came with her chair and sat next to Mrs. Smith and began talking and reading. Next, Mrs. Jones, her child and the nanny that was with my boss on Thursday came to the beach. Let's call this nanny Annie. Annie got in with us and introduced herself to the other moms. I didn't catch any pause or anything, and believe me I was watching. Annie was great with the kids and we made the sort of nanny chit chat that nannies make in front of the parents.

My male boss calls my female boss and they have a conversation, He says he is going to stay over one more night and drive to the city the next morning. We all heard this conversation. When my boss hung up, she said he was staying and she was going to try and get a dinner reservation.  One of the details confirmed the identity of my boss to Annie. Then Annie's whole demeanor changed. She started doting on my charges. Rubbing their hair. She was looking at them all dreamy eyed, I swear like she was imagining them as her own. Out of the corner of her eye, I could see her assessing my boss.

Annie made a big show of talking about taking her charge to see a movie that night and inviting my charges, As an after thought, she invited the other child in the group. My kids were not interested because it is more of a boy movie. She then tried to convince them to go. Telling them it would be so much fun, that they could go get ice cream after.  I interjected that maybe we could meet up for ice cream because I might take them out that evening. This shut Annie the nanny down.

My boss then left the next day for the city and is due back Wednesday night for the weekend. This Annie nanny has been stalking us, I feel. Like, she has a bike and I  have seen her ride past our house very early in the morning. I don't think the situation is dangerous because Annie seems insignificant, especially to my boss. I don't know what he was thinking. I don't see a way for me to share what I saw, especially because the details are crude, and the people would no doubt deny it and I would look foolish.

At the same time, I am feeling very territorial over the kids, the house and my female boss, like I don't want to let her near. So this morning, I went to the post office and mailed a letter to Mrs. Jones at her residence here. It says simply, "Please talk to your nanny. She is throwing herself at married men and behaving like a depraved whore".

Now I wait. I figure I did the best I could with what I had to work with. What would you have done?My boss is totally composed, polished and professional and this nanny is just skanky. Watch your men, women. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would not have believed it.


Anonymous said...

As nannies we see and hear a lot of what we shouldn't. That's why most of us have a non disclosure agreement. It is none of your business what you saw and do not get involved. This is probably not the first time this man has stepped outside his marriage and the wife probably has an idea of what is going on. It will end badly for you if you get involved. The wife will not want to be embarrassed by the fact that her employee knows all her dirty laundry.

Anonymous said...

Why are you putting all the blame on the nanny anyway? She's not the married one, he is. I hate when women turn against each other for men. That's so petty. He's clearly manipulating them both, but somehow she's the only bad guy? Hypocritical.

I understand your wanting to protect your MB and kids, but it's really none of your business. Stay out of it.

Jill said...

Why is it Annie's fault? Did she hog tie DB and force herself on him? He's a consenting adult and he's the one with thw marriage. He broke his vows. Why do women do this?!? It isn't always the OW's fault. Also, you crossed a major line when you told her boss just fyi!

BTW, I - in no way- condone cheating but come-on!

44Northpines said...

I think it was ok for you to write an anonymous letter to her boss, but I think maybe you should have worded more professional. Yes, I agree that it is dad bosses fault ALSO and he should not be stepping out on his family. Kuddos to you for wanting to protect the family, you are a loyal Nanny and only want the best for the family you work for. Be careful how you go about what happens next and choose you actions and words wisely so the problems do not fall into your lap,usually the person who is trying to help is the one who gets the brunt of it all. Good luck and keep us informed.

RBTC said...

you are brave to take an activists way - keep us informed

Cathy said...

This is pure ridiculousness! OP, no offense, but you sound like a busybody. This isn't your friend or family member. Why in the world would you get involved? Yes. The dad is a cheating scum bag who is a lying liar who lies, but what's it to you? You're responsible for the kid(s) not the marriage. You're not suited to work in someone's home if an affair sends you into crazyville. I could write stories about the things I've seen and heard. SMDH

Jmaria said...

I'm actually on the OP's side. I'd expect my nanny to be loyal to me, and if anything wrong was being done to me, behind my back, I'd want to know. Maybe if us women watched out for each other more, there would be less drama.

S'sMom said...

Different strokes for different folks. Not at all interested in watching out for another woman's marriage. Nor do I require another woman's help to keep my man. I'd fire my nanny so fast if she interfered in my relationship.

Anonymous said...

^that's how I see it. Not my marriage, not my business.

this_nick said...

It's not the nanny's business, but by conducting his affair where the nanny could potentially see it HE made it her problem. Now his fling is trying to insert herself into his children's life and this in my view is *absolutely* something Mom has a right to know. If DB didn't want his dirty deeds discovered he should have made more effort to hide them. He put the OP in this position through his irresponsibility. I do think as others have said that Mom could be embarrassed enough to not want the OP around, so telling her would be a gamble.

I do feel like this could have been handled without approaching Annie's boss. This really is none of her business, not to mention the incredibly misogynistic tone of the letter. If your aim was to not socialize the kids with Annie, you could have handled stopping that yourself (by saying no and when she asked why - tell her she knows why lol.). What you've done is try to get her fired to avoid having your charges socialize with her instead of just dealing with it directly.

Still, your actions being imperfect here are not your fault, because you should never have been put in the position to have to deal with this BS in the first place. This is 100% DB's fault. What a tool!

meh said...

I agree that DB is excrement but nanny is overstepping imo.

She could have shut the other nanny out just by asserting her own authority over her charges. She didn't need to judge the OW and try to get her fired.

Anonymous said...

OP any update??