ISYN The Rants #17 "Going With Someone Else"

     Of course I would never say this to a family, but in my mind I am. I just got home from work (I nanny part time on weekends and MB made me feel better about what happened. I interviewed for a full time position with another family and M interviewed me, as D was at work. M literally said during the interview she had a good feeling about me, how much she loved my background and the fact that I jumped right in and helped with twin infants and a 3 year old, not asking what needs to be done. She also mentioned that she willing to find a carpool for me so I didn't have to pick up the older child from school, as it would've messed with the twins' schedule. M even stated during the first interview that her sister had a nanny in a major nanny market city and the nanny there took her job seriously, whereas the nanny here (where we live) felt like it was a privilege, acting clueless in the beginning and continuing to do so even six months later. During the interview, I was polite, listened and spoke from the heart. I sent references, all of which speak highly of me. By the way she spoke and things she said, she led me to believe I had the job when I left that Saturday morning. She even talked me up to D, whom I met a few days later. I went over that particular evening thinking I was signing a work agreement. We got along well, and are similar in personality. To my surprise, I got the email thanking me for my time, but they hired someone else. This kind of got to me, especially since I was led on...

     Thanks for your response. I'm kind of bummed to hear you went with someone else, considering you led me on to believe that I was hired.

     So tell me, was it my yellow shirt and yellow purse? Was I too well dressed? Did I look too professional? Am I overexperienced? You yourself said everything you wanted in a nanny, and I did my best to sell myself, and thought I did a good job doing so. In fact, you made it seem like you hired me based on things you said during the first interview, and the fact that you talked me up to DB, pointing out my experience, credentials, and education.

     Does my ten year old car with a loud muffler, scratches on the side, rust in the wheel wells and a missing driver side mirror not look right in your neighborhood, let alone in your driveway? Am I too fat? Did I appear to be out of breath climbing the stairs? Did you hear me breathe heavy? (I do that when I am nervous) Did my first outfit hurt your eyes, considering I had on a bright shirt with a bright bag, and when I came over again I had on khakis and a orange polka dot shirt. Was my second outfit not professional looking enough? Do I, as a plus size gal not look right in your home and neighborhood, considering your neighbor is a newscaster?

     I thought we got along well. Or were your jokes and light hearted humor a way for me to let my guard down and come out of my shell. Was that my test? Did I appear uncomfortable with specific questions? I understand wanting to know your nanny, but does my relationship status or living arrangments have anything to do with my ability to do my job? I don't speak to my father because he screwed me up mentally, and I lost my mother at an early age-does my relationship with my father and how often I see him have anything to do with the job? Lastly, I currently work in a childcare center, and why would you want to know what kind of reviews we have unless you are planning to move and take your kids there? Last but not least, is it because I am a fan of a football team with whom your team has a rivalry?
Devin Crane
 I'm a career nanny, and I take my job seriously, know the nanny industry well, and yes, I wanted a work agreement and taxes withheld. You mentioned that your other nannies worked for cash under the table; I gently pointed out that if I apply for a loan or line of credit, they will need to verify my income as a nanny. Should they not be able to do so, it would cause a headache for both of us, which I wanted to avoid. Was it the fact that as a professional nanny with a work agreement and taxes, did that cause a concern?

     In short, there was no reason to lead me on, nor was there no reason not to hire me, considering my background, credentials and the fact we got along well. You said you wanted a professional nanny, and I walked in and sat down. You were paying a decent market salary for our area, and wanted someone who was worth your time. I am that person, and I did my best to try to make you see that.

     Three nannies in three years-not bad, but I question that. If you didn't hire me, I am curious as to who you hired and if she had newer vehicle, a nice shape, a boyfriend/husband, and if she is the kind of nanny you said in the interview you didn't want. I'm not upset. Just disappointed, and I felt like I was judged by you on the basis of my car, my looks and overall appearance. I am not sorry for being a career nanny, that I worked as hard as I have to get where I am, or that I am who I am.

     Oh well, your loss is another family's gain. Someone will hire me and appreciate me for me, the way my part time family does. It just wasn't you, and in a way I am happy about that.

     As my MB (my part time family) said " 'they sound confused, like they didn't know what they wanted. Sounds like they wanted a professional nanny, pay a professional nanny salary, but didn't want to deduct taxes and hire someone who probably isn't a professional. For us to hire you was a no brainer' ".

      I have a phone interview scheduled tomorrow.


Jmaria said...

While it can be really discouraging not to be hired when you feel like you clicked with a certain family, you're going to become miserable if you keep taking rejection so personally. They didn't hire you for whatever reason. Move on. Dont spend the time or energy worrying about why you were turned down.

Jessica said...

It's not personal. They liked someone else BETTER. It isn't a reflection on you. You're going to need a much thicker skin if you want to keep nannying.

Smalltownnanny said...

Maybe they just "clicked" better with someone else. It happens....some choose someone that has less qualifications because they feel more connected. If you are a career nanny then it shouldn't worry you and you should understand that you will go on many interviews were you will just not get picked and not sure why but eventually you will find the famt that is perfect for you. Ps. Good for you for sticking to only being paid on the books. That may have been a deal breaker for the family, who knows but it's important for us nannies to force that to be the norm and not allow so many families to get away with paying under the table.

Nan said...

So many factors go into choosing the right nanny. They found someone who suited them better. It's not a reflection on you surely. Don't let it bother you. I'm sure there have been families that you've passed on for one reason or another

Corina said...

I know you feel hurt. But look at it maybe it wasn't meant to be. There could be any number of reasons they didn't hire you. Just keep putting out resumes. Please do not let hurt turn into bitterness.

this_nick said...

If you go through this much insecurity in your head but don't think it projects outward at all - you're probably mistaken. I agree with the others; they found a better fit for them - it doesn't need to mean any or all of these other things you suspect.

Unknown said...

Wow, so much insanity in those paragraphs! You were honestly in the wrong here to just assume you were hired and then go off on a rant.

You know when you are hired or not hired when it is clearly stated by the potential employer.

When you began to discuss all these other factors such as car, weight, social status and more it is obvious why they didn't pick you: you exude an extreme lack of confidence. Maybe there were other nannies that were qualified but didn't get the job because there wasn't a definite connection. The mother probably sensed you were an insecure person, and although you did have great qualities, she decided to go with someone who could be more of a strong role model for her children.

Life goes on, you learn from experiences. Just try and always be better than the day before and I'm sure something great will come your way. The best way to learn is to fall down and get back up, don't get so easily offended, take in constructive criticism, and always be open to new ideas.