Tuesday

Hungry in Dobbs Ferry

I feel terrible. I am a nanny in Dobbs Ferry, NY. I have always had people ask me if I know of anyone. I did connect a very good friend of mine from Staten Island to a family (same neighborhood) I work in. They were looking for a five day a week live in. I connected the two. They hired my friend.

She just interviewed on Saturday. Today is Wednesday. During the interview, the mom said she would leave petty cash, in case of an emergency, but that she handled buying househould supplies and shopping. They asked her what she liked to eat. The children are young, one just starting jar food and one on finger foods. They told her she could eat when she liked or with the kids and that they usually ate out during the week or cooked a late dinner. Either way, they would get her some of the things she liked and leave them on the bottom shelf of the pantry.

I feel really bad for the direction this took. I am a live out nanny but I am free to eat with the children. The house is well stocked. My boss knows I drink diet pepsi so she buys twelve packs and keeps them in the garage refrigerator for me.

This girl quit her job with no notice and moved in to a (pretty nice basement studio) in the family's house. They have promised that they will be getting a nanny vehicle in the near future, but now she can only walk and that would be with both kids and a double stroller. So basically, she can get to the park, and even that on humid, hot days is a lot because she lives on a hill.

What really gets me is my friend told me her boss told me, she was free to "join your friend for dinner."  I'm a live out. My family is not providing dinner for their live-in. In what kind of world is that even a possibility?  My friend took these things off her nanny shelf. She also has a loaf of store brand wheat bread and a small jar of store brand grape jelly. And this:

 She literally said the most appealing thing is the Corn Flakes but she's wondering if the almost 2 year old's milk is off limits!

I was trying to do something nice. The family gave me a $10 Dunkin Donut Gift Certificate- which I gave to my friend, but it's not like she can get there!

My friend is looking to me to make this better and though I'm sorry..I can't. I suggested she say something. She wants to know what and how to say something on Day 3?

13 comments:

Sara said...

The nanny should probably bring is up ASAP to the family. Maybe ask for a stipend instead of their selection and nanny will pick up what she'd like. Or ask if the family if she can just give them a short list and could they get those items. I would probably say something about how you appreciate what they have offered but she prefers to eat x, y & z and fresh fruits, vegetables, meats & milk. They honestly may have no idea how live-ins work and just need to be communicated with. Instead of venting to you, she should talk with her bosses and address her needs. She is her only advocate.

Calla said...

I'm not familiar with live in situations, but does thr NF provide food? I thought NFs provide a suite or room plus pay. Can the nanny not buy food for herself?

Pantrylyfe said...

Maybe something like I CANT CHASE AFTER YOUR KIDS IF IM LIVING OFF PROCESSED CARBS

this_nick said...

This isn't your problem. You let a friend know of a potential job, and a family know of a potential nanny. Everything after that has nothing to do with you. I'm assuming your friend isn't a child, so as a grown-up it's up to her to let the family know this meal plan (lol) isn't working for her. If she's the kind of person who doesn't even have the backbone to bring that up, she's gonna get taken advantage of in all kind of fun ways (probably none as funny as this picture) and keep looking to you to fix it. Help her help herself by learning to deal with problems in her job on her own.

this_nick said...

"Pantrylyfe" LOLOL

this_nick said...

Ha, this stipend based on what we're seeing would be like $15. Big spenders, these folks!

Wait, not folks -- I believe "assholes" was the word I'm looking for.

Amanda said...

That looks exactly like a selection of food from a charity food box program. Oh my gosh. The family is living above their means if they think they can afford a live in nanny.

Nanny Sarah said...

It's thr most random selection of food I've ever seen! Time to sit and discuss with the parents. It's not your responsibility though . Your part ended with the introduction.

Ranni said...

Did she provide a list of food for the mother? If not, I am not sure what she expected to get. This is pretty basic, yes, but if she didn't specify - how would the mother know?? Is she expecting to eat like a king? Does she want steak and lobster? This is breakfast and dinner.

Lacy said...

This is not an acceptable selection of food. Tell your friend that its up to her to stick up for her self. You can't do her negotiations for her. I think its reasonable for a live in to expect that she is either A.) provided with a weekly food allowance, B.) the family provides fresh-- not process food, C.) Pay her an overall higher wage and specify that meals aren't covered.

C is a poor option, because live ins work very long hours.

A for your friend is also a poor option, because where is her nanny car?

Anonymous said...

Ranni, just because she deserves better food than ramen and canned vegetables, doesn't mean she's requiring to eat like a king. What about fresh veg and fruits, and some healthy snacks, is that too prestigious for your standards?

The nerve and ignorance of some people on here is astonishing.

STAHP said...

Not like a king, surely, but some veggies and fruit wouldn't go amiss

Anonymous said...

You should carry all this food upstairs and give it back saying I don't eat processed or canned food. I eat fresh chicken breasts or tenders, and fresh fruit and veggies, plus eggs and cheese. Give her a weekly list, starting when you return the food; eat out of her fridge until she shops for you.