Hungry in Dobbs Ferry

I feel terrible. I am a nanny in Dobbs Ferry, NY. I have always had people ask me if I know of anyone. I did connect a very good friend of mine from Staten Island to a family (same neighborhood) I work in. They were looking for a five day a week live in. I connected the two. They hired my friend.

She just interviewed on Saturday. Today is Wednesday. During the interview, the mom said she would leave petty cash, in case of an emergency, but that she handled buying househould supplies and shopping. They asked her what she liked to eat. The children are young, one just starting jar food and one on finger foods. They told her she could eat when she liked or with the kids and that they usually ate out during the week or cooked a late dinner. Either way, they would get her some of the things she liked and leave them on the bottom shelf of the pantry.

I feel really bad for the direction this took. I am a live out nanny but I am free to eat with the children. The house is well stocked. My boss knows I drink diet pepsi so she buys twelve packs and keeps them in the garage refrigerator for me.

This girl quit her job with no notice and moved in to a (pretty nice basement studio) in the family's house. They have promised that they will be getting a nanny vehicle in the near future, but now she can only walk and that would be with both kids and a double stroller. So basically, she can get to the park, and even that on humid, hot days is a lot because she lives on a hill.

What really gets me is my friend told me her boss told me, she was free to "join your friend for dinner."  I'm a live out. My family is not providing dinner for their live-in. In what kind of world is that even a possibility?  My friend took these things off her nanny shelf. She also has a loaf of store brand wheat bread and a small jar of store brand grape jelly. And this:

 She literally said the most appealing thing is the Corn Flakes but she's wondering if the almost 2 year old's milk is off limits!

I was trying to do something nice. The family gave me a $10 Dunkin Donut Gift Certificate- which I gave to my friend, but it's not like she can get there!

My friend is looking to me to make this better and though I'm sorry..I can't. I suggested she say something. She wants to know what and how to say something on Day 3?

Grandma from Hell

I have a huge problem which landed from Cincinnati last week. The grandmother has come to see the newest addition to the family. I never met her before. The mother's apprehensive look when she told me that her mother in law was coming is now replaying in my head. Both parents work. The grandmother is not a typical grandmother in that she does not dote and she is barely passable as loving. I live out, but work M-F from 700-600. I have a routine I am in to  that works for me and the children. For example, when older child is on the bus, I put the baby on the floor for tummy time and make myself breakfast. The grandmother sidles up to me and asks me what I am doing. She makes comments like, "it must be nice to eat on the job" and "where do you keep your 'nanny food' so I don't eat it". I told her I don't have 'nanny food' and anything in the refrigerator is for anyone. She asks me how much of my salary goes to pay for my food. Stupid comments like this all day long. She does crosswords all day long and watches me. It took a while to get in my routine. She has asked me to make her lunch, help her start a laundry (and then transfer it) and then bring it to her to fold. I could grin and bear it but she has arranged to have some work done on her home in Ohio which is to be completed by Memorial Day. I don't even know that if I talked to my boss (mom), anything could be done. She is really imposing and unapologetic. She suggests housekeeping tasks for me to do. I am not a housekeeper. I nicely pointed that out and she says things like, "well if you have time to sit around reading an US Magazine, certainly you have time to clean the mirrors in the house". Help. I need my job so I can't quit, even though on a daily basis, about twenty times, she has me want to scream, quit and cry. In closing, let me just say that my boss has been extremely complimentary to me about my job performance, specifically that I adapted to the house and she can return to her professional field with focus because she knows things are well handled at home. She has even given me what I would call bonus gifts of appreciation. Part of me fears if I say anything, it will come across as angling for a big gift or something, but it's Friday night and the thought of returning Monday is making me sick.