Accounts Payable

UpdateBeryl Cook
   Update: I read your responses and reflected ove the past few months.In my defense, I didn't realize how the hair setting came about. I assumed she had offered.  I have spoken to family and they know they are not to ask the nanny for anything.
   I sat down with the nanny and talked about the things I had neglected to pay her for. I explained that I didn't intend to disregard her efforts. I explained that because she acted and was treated like part of the family, sometimes I didn't think of equating money to a task, but that I should and that I was grateful for everything that she did. We agreed that in the future, we would negotiate overtime, date night, dog sitting ahead of schedule. We agreed that she would paid overtime for any hours she worked above and beyond her schedule, regardless of what she was doing. I also asked her if she wanted to do the things she did. She said she absolutely but I made her feel foolish when I didn't pay her. I paid her $1,000 cash, a $400 gift certificate to the salon I get my hair cut and colored. When we had spoken about using the car, she suggested she didn't want to use her car because of the wear and tear, because of modifying the contents an set up of her car for the children. So with that, my husband decided to buy himself a new car and now born is the nanny vehicle, which we will keep full of gas and she can use on the job for anything. I just wanted to say one final thing about this. My nanny is a "yes" person. She offers to do so much for us. Many things I say no to. That is her nature. I find that people like this are often taken advantage of, and while they shouldn't be, look around and see if you have someone in your life who is trying to make your day or world a bit better and do something nice for them! -OP
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Original Post: June 27
  My nanny and I had a disagreement which ended up with both of us saying some things that were not very nice. I don't want to rehash it all, but there is an element of the disagreement that I can make right. She was upset that she had done some extra things over the past few months without appreciation or financial reward. I am going to give her an envelope with a card that says simply I appreciate you and some cash inside. Please help me figure out a good amount to put in the card. I just want to be done with this.
     She makes $1100 per week for 55-58 hours.
     Things we failed to appreciate/thank her for:
-assembling a swing set
-working at a birthday party on a saturday for 23 five year olds (2.5 hours)
-pet siting from Friday night-Monday morning, 2 dogs (two incidents)
-using her vehicle to drive my husband to the train (2 miles round trip, approximate 10 times)
-placing an ad on craigs list for two day laborers, picking them up in her vehicle, taking them to buy supplies at home depot and spending 12 hours supervising them building a doghouse and dog run.
-Both times my mother came to visit, my mother asked her to set her hair. She did.

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Smalltownnanny said...

Wow, I don't know what the whole disagreement was about but I as a nanny would be quite upset about some of this as well. It is commendable that you are trying to atleast fix some part of this and compensate her. I would say a fair amount would be to add up what all those things listed would take hour wise and pay time and a half of what she typically makes an hour. Then add in the cost of any supplies or gas she may have paid out of pocket. Some things I as a nanny wouldn't be upset about such as driving the dad to the train station but the working a birthday party on a weekend and the pet sitting then yes I would be upset to not get compensated unless those things were already previously discussed in my contract as required included in my already pay.

angela said...

Setting your mother's hair? That's like $50 per! From your mom with a thank you!
For the rest, I would say, you were negligent. Give her 1K!

OTNanny said...

If you ask your nanny to work your child's birthday party, meaning she is to be keeping an eye on your kids the whole time, helping you set up, etc, you pay her for it. Do not take advantage of her being a "guest" who is then expected to be free labor just because she's your kid's nanny. I would be upset about this as well. Same with the pet-sitting.

nannyrobot said...

Swingset- at least 90 dollars (assuming it took 4 hours to put together)
Birthday party- time and a half, $75
Pet sitting- 30 dollars per dog per night, $180
Driving husband to the train, $20
2 day laborers- I just have to say, that was just wrong. That was dangerous and unfair for you to expect her to do. Have you heard the horror stories about women being attacked by weirdos from craigslist? Next time, have your husband do it or hire professionals who have their own vehicles. 40 dollars for the ride, 360 for supervision time (12 hoursx 20 dollarsx1.5), and 20 for an hour at home depot.
$80 for your mother's hair, or whatever the going rate is at your local salon.
Total: $865 plus a tip for appreciation. Make sure this is all in cash.

OTNanny said...

To add, I agree with Nannyrobot - the Craigslist day laborers is EXTREMELY sketchy, and honestly, I would question my employer's judgment if she asked me to do something like that (and I would vehemently refuse). That shows absolutely no respect or concern for the nanny's safety.

Anonymous said...

After reading all the things she did, I also had 1k number come to mind.
It's probably a bit on the higher side, but when it happens with my boss, she always tells me that she would rather overpay me than underpay me.
If I were you, I would give her 1k and keep track of any extra hours in the future.
When I do petsitting, I always get my usual weekly pay +$50 a night.
I'm paid for any extra hours/overtime.
I love my job and I always feel appreciated.

Good luck!!

~ The Rainbow Nanny

Jean said...

As a nanny, I'd be quite upset at being asked to do any of what you listed. And I'd definitely not do it without EXTRA pay. As it is, you're paying her a measly 18 per hour! Are you high!?!!? Does she get overtime for the hours over 40 each week? You're already grossly underpaying her. What asinine reasoning did you use to 'argue' with her about proper payment?

*For the 23(are you kidding me!) kids- she deserves at least 5 dollars per kid per hour so that equals $230
* Date night sitting is her rate per hour plus overtime if it applied that week. BTW, date night sitting is NOT included in nanny's regular salary.
* All car trips in her car should be paid the Federal Government's mandated 57.6 cents per mile. Plus paying her for her time spent driving.
*Hair setting, find out what local salons charge in your area and pay that. Also tell your relatives that your nanny is NOT their slave!

Gah! NFs like you do not deserve a nanny! You will fight tooth and nail not to pay! Do you know what it must have cost your nanny to come to you with her concerns only to have you argue with her about it? Have some common decency.

Nisreen said...

Jumping in to echo what's already being said:

You subjected your nanny to serious potential risk picking up randoms off Craigslist, charged her with the care of 20+ kids at a birthday party and basically used her as Jane of all trades. The least you can do is graciously pay her for every bit of extra work and refrain from doing so in the future. A nanny is not an errand girl, hair stylist for adults, handy person or taxi driver. Stop trying to maximize your return by using her for everything. It doesn't cut corners. It will cost you a nanny once she becomes disgruntled by all she's being asked to do. Job creep is the bane of most nannies' existence. Please don't be a source of stress for your nanny. Stop taking advantage.

Heidi said...

This is WAY more than just appreciating/thanking her. You definitely owe her money for those things. I'm not sure what the circumstances are, but no matter what she should get paid for that. Maybe she told you she would do those things free of charge, but if she didn't I imagine she assumed she would be paid for them. You pay her to watch your children, and that is it (I'm assuming). She did way more than any nannies would do, and you need to pay her for it. And I would say pay her more than just "some cash".

Corina said...

So your nanny helped out at your kids birthday? Did you not talk about pay for that extra time?
My heart dropped reading that she picked up help on the street. Then she was alone with them in the home. Scary! Not bashing them. Most are hard working guys. Trying to make a better life for their family. But always that risk what if they weren't good. She should have used her brain too. What was she thinking! What were you thinking!!
Tell your mom to go to the salon. Your nanny isn't her personal hairdresser. Not cool!

RBTC said...

i really appreciate the posters who keep reasonable words and expressions and do not curse and use vulgar language with the Ops - it will really help the nannies more

Dee said...

How about a grand and try to muster up some pure appreciation? "I just want to be done with this"- YOU took advantage of your nanny and now you have a bad attitude because she stood up for herself. Start treating your nanny more fairly or you'll soon be looking for a new one.

Anonymous said...

Woe is this a nanny or your house slave?Sounds like this womean really needs this job.Shame on you. Do you do anything?

Anonymous said...

One more thing she doesn't like you she goes home and cries every night.

CN said...

OP, good for you for owning up to your mistake and correcting the problem! The $1000 was a good evaluation for her work, and the gift card was a generous and, I'm sure, very appreciated gesture. I hope you and your nanny have a wonderful working relationship from here on out!

Taleia said...

Good for you! You rock! :) The world needs morebpeople who are willing to communicate through uncomfortable situations!

Anonymous said...

You're awesome.


nc said...

I'm glad you were able to sit down with her and have an open dialogue!

Jess said...

Glad you made amends to your nanny. Being a yes person does put her at risk. Someone may take advantage. Happy that you recognize that and won't be taking her for granted. Good on you!

RBTC said...

i'm glad the OP was not put off by the abrasive bunch and paid attention to the professional bunch - the nanny came out better - a good end to the story

ps - my co caters b-day parties and our charge professionally for 2.5 hours would be $250

Beatrice said...

Great update!! Nice to see positive outcomes from difficult situations with the help of this online community.