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| Constantin Hansen, Portrait of a Little Girl, 1850 |
I brought it to the parents up as it happened and they lay the blame back it me. They say it is manipulative behavior, she does it because she is getting a reaction out of her and tell me to ignore her. I have looked at it from their perspective. I do not feel right letting a child talk about self harm or standing there while she is hitting herself. I don't have a degree but don't people say all behavior is communication? I guess what I want to know if if you have ever handled something similiar and how. Since I have tried my way and there way, and she is still doing it (since before I even started), I think that a different approach is better. What I usually tell her is to stop hurting herself. I tell her that she made a poor choice but she is a good kid and try to talk about how to fix the current situation and or make a better choice next time.
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8 comments:
Im having a similar situation with 5 year old. He says he wants to die and go to heaven or if hes mad at his siblings he says he wishes they were in heaven. And hes constantly talking about god, which is fine but it seems as if he really wants to be with god. curious to see what others have to say about this. dont know if I should be concerned or not.
children this age 99% of the time only do this for attention. Parents are right-ignore the child. and when they calm down- talk to her about her feelings. A child that age trends to close up what they are really feeling because they are afraid to open up and talk about whats really bothering them.
Possible it's all about attention. It's also very possible that she's being emotionally abused. And is repeating what she's told.
For me that's a big red flag. I specialize in kids with special needs and behavioral issues. "Healthy children" don't use self harm for attention, it seems like the problem is emotional. Abuse is one option as is her misleading self perception. Children communicate a much more underlying problem when they talk "badly" about them self. I would definitely try to talk to her again, alone, no parents. Ask her why she's feeling that way. And ask if anybody told her her she's a stupid, bad girls. Kids don't just come up with sentences like that on their own.
I also work with special needs children. This is not healthy behavior. Given her age, this sounds like a mental disorder, possibly inspired by verbal abuse.
Have you seen the show Orange Is The New Black? She's headed in the "crazy eyes" character direction.
She needs therapy and behavior modification skills. This won't get better doing nothing.
My specialty is working with special needs and special home situations... Court appointed instructions, divorces, adoptions, investigations. While it's OK to ask a child about feelings and why they do things, out is not OK to ask the to make identification of a person. This hurts the situation and impedes any possible investigation.
I definitely think a big part of that is wanting attention. For the next few weeks, whenever she acts up, ignore it. Don't freak out or cater to what she wants. If nothing changes, then there may be more to it.
The fact that the parents don't seem to care, and even blame you, is concerning. They may be the root of the problem or just in denial, but this child should be seen by a professional to get a more knowledgeable opinion as to whether she's just trying to get attention, or is coping with something beyond her abilities.
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