The Perv

 I've been working for a family for almost 6 months now and every single day the dad blatantly checks me out. Working in childcare this is nothing new but I've known men to do this once or twice not everyday. I told myself I would give it sometime but I hate it and it isn't going away. Sometimes I'm putting my things away while talking about the day and I look up and he's staring at my chest. Or I greet him and give him his child and he looks me up and down, everyday.
      The other day I was so frustrated I finished my sentence got my bag and left immediately. I've sought out advice from other nannies and no longer wear anything revealing. I try to play down my dress a little. However I don't think it's fair and either way it is not working. We are a part of a share and I've debated discussing it to the other mom (not the wife of the perv) but I'm afraid of messing up a good thing. I feel so uncomfortable and it's getting warmer out. I don't even want to wear shorts around him.

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bullfrog said...

What's new about this scenario? All men want to diddle the nanny. It's human nature. The wife knows it to, so she expects you to be unaffected by the husband's attention.

AP said...

Well first off, I would ignore the first comment. It's not male human nature to want to "diddle the nanny." Also you are not expected to be okay with it. That's just ridiculous.
Second, I would talk to him directly. Tell him it's making you uncomfortable. He may not know it's affecting you, because you've never said anything. If he doesn't listen I would consider if feeling uncomfortable and objectified is worth the job. You said you don't want to ruin a good thing, but how good can it be if you're worried about seeing your employer everyday? I think it's unfair that you are in this situation, but not confronting it may lead to a worse one.

samra said...

Does he have a daughter? I nannied for a man with two sons and a daughter. He was fascinated by my shape. One day I was wearing a white tshirt and he was ogling my boobs. I looked him in the face and said one day "daughter name" is going to be 23 and standing in front of a 40 year old man trying to communicate earnestly with him. I hope he looks her in the eyes.

That ended that. He stutteted. Apologized and never made me feel uncomfortable again.

Angie from FB said...

I agree - ignore bullfrog - what an incredibly narrow minded view.

What you're dealing with is Sexual Harassment. You shouldnt have to dress differently in "hopes" he'll stop checking you out. Its a problem and not one you should have to deal with. Who hired you? This is who you should be discussing this with, even if that employer is not the childrens biomother. Keep in mind, if you do discuss this, there is a very real possibility they will let you go - however, this shouldnt scare you off, you shouldnt have to work in a hostile environment....that is exactly what youre doing right now.

Corina said...

I agree with Angie. Any other position the person in question would be straight down in HR. Most companies will not put up with this. As they do not want a lawsuit. I know it feels different because you are working in a different environment. But laws are laws. If you were hired through an agency contact them right away. I hope you are on the books. In case you need to leave. You should see if you can collect while looking for another job.