My boss told me today that she is expecting not one, but two babies in September. She seems very happy and I feigned happiness too, but to be honest, I was not looking forward to one baby and the prospect of two fills me with anything but delight. This will be my second summer with the family and summer is my favorite time. We spend a lot of time out in the Hamptons and spend two weeks up in Maine. Part of my wants to be honest now and tell her that I am dreading the future with TWO babies, but I don't want to lose my endless summer. There is also the chance that I might change my mind. I take care of one 4 year old now. She never mentioned a change in pay or anything, although I am curious. I know that right now, I make $1100 a week for 55 hours with one child who is in school for 3 hours per day. My other fear is that she thinks I make plenty enough to accomodate her new children, and I also wonder how hard it is going to be for me to get a comparable job with benefits, travel and a high salary. I am in the NYC area.
15 comments:
You need to sit down and speak to her. Tell her what your throughs are and then work out an agreement.
Wow...first off you get paid well for one child and get extra perks. Second if you like all the perks with this job but don't like the "inconvienece" of caring for the children then maybe being a nanny isn't right for you.
If I was them I wouldn't want you to stay as my nanny because you are more worried about yourself and what YOU will miss out on over the children and their needs.
However you owe it to them to sit down and ask what their plans are when the babies are born. Does she plan to stay home for awhile, what do they expect from you and also about your pay.
Wow there are a lot of I's, my's and me's. Not one thing about the family and what you like other than the fact that they breeder without consulting you first. How dare they have sex and conceive not one but two children and not ask you first! I agree with the PPs, you sound like you're very entitled. You listed off all the perks (including the money), what you like to do with your summer and how having these two future babies will just fuck with everything. if my boss said they were having twins I'd be over the moon but then again I'm a really Nanny.
As a mom boss, my gut reaction reading this was, "so she is going to take advantage of all the perks and then leave them high and dry when the new babies arrive". Twins are no joke and if you aren't familiar with babies, I could see how that would be intimidating.
You definitely need to sit down with her (both parents if possible) and discuss this. One of my friends had a similar situation, only they had two older kiddos, aged 5 and 7. Their beloved nanny expressed concern about how she would manage it all and so they hired a second nanny for the first six months that managed the twins, got them on a good sleeping and eating schedule, and helped the nanny get used to them (she did not have experience with newborns). At six months, she took over and was fine. She stayed with them until the twins were in school. Then again, her concern wasn't how much fun she could cram into a summer, it was how to provide the best care possible for her charges. I think you really need to examine if you are in the right career. I am thrilled to over my nanny perks (and wish I could offer more), but it is because she does not expect it, is grateful for what we do, AND, most importantly, loves my kids and they are why she is a nanny, not for the perks.
Honestly, I don't see much wrong with working the summer (and enjoying the perks) and then deciding when the babies come what you want to do. Parents might feel outraged at that opinion, but it's giving them as much consideration as they typically give you. With "at will employment" and all.
I agree with HM. Wow?!? You people would fire a nanny at a moments notice for anything-even a cheaper nanny. This is her job and she owes the family nothing more than ample notice if she resigns. Take the perks. Don't be stupid and worry about people who aren't worried about you. If they were worried about you they would have mentioned your compensation increase already; instead of just, "It's twins! Yay!".
Do you think the family would do this for her if they were getting rid of her?
Hello?!? It's a JOB. Why should she take on extra work for free?
It's her job and she's worried about her ability to continue to enjoy doing her job. Isn't that normal? Are nannies supposed to be altruistic (perhaps mini saints in training)?
It's her job and she's worried about her ability to continue to enjoy doing her job. Isn't that normal? If the family wanted to get rid of her they would without worrying about her. She really doesn't deserve the pressure of having to plan her life around the children. It's a job.
I actually agree with both sides here. Yes, it's a job, but I think no matter what kind of job you have (nanny or not) you should care about it or get out and find something else. Your job is a huge part of who you are, and I see nothing wrong with being proud of your career Instead of saying it's "just a job".
And no matter what, if you don't want to do what the job requires from you, get another job. Nannying requires you taking care of children, and it doesn't sound like OP likes that.
OP, sit down with your employers and in the nicest way possible, tell them how you feel and ask them about their plans when the twins arrive.
I agree Nicole! Why not be paid well for being a great nanny. Why not extra perks. Just like any job some offer great benefits and pay. Are nannies supposed to be happy with any wage. If you are good at what you do, why not?
Personally watching two newborns and 4 year will be hectic. Ask if they are planning to hire a baby nurse. If you give it a try. Just take it one day at a time
Just saw this. I don't know why we're supposed to be saints. What about me? I work as a live in and travel nanny because I want to buy a house and be a stay at home Mom. Stay until the kids come. If you like it and its profitable, stay. Otherwise leave. But give them a solid month to find a replacement.
Meg I wish I thought along those lines in my 20's. Live in with a family save enough for a home or good down payment.
1. I would CERTAINLY mention this. I, my mother and my younger sister are all extremely sensitive to scent and I wish more people would realize that just because you can no longer smell it, does not mean you should add 5 extra sprays! It is NOT unrealistic of you to mention it as, maybe you have a bad reaction to it and would appreciate it if she wore something that was a little less intense. You could buy a few scents that you don't find overpowering and give them to her as a nice gift. ;)
2. Perhaps ask her if she could please at least turn on a fan, and/or open a window and put said fan in it while doing nails so as not to disturb your sensitive nose.
3. Get a lint roller? .. Idk. I'd omit this.
4. Think it's respectful that she clean up after the last cup, as you or hubby would if you took the last cup.
5. So she has a sweet tooth. Um, again, I'd omit this. Who doesn't love cookies and such??
6. I'd politely tell her that while you're big on recycling too, it doesn't bother you if occasionally something slips through the cracks and you'd appreciate it if she didn't feel the need to shame whoever let a plastic into the trash bin.
7. I think it's rather unreasonable, personally, since everyone I know shops at second-hand stores and have never had lice, mites, or bed bugs from things properly washed before use. But if it's that big of an issue explain it.
8. I would certainly say as a parent you can ask her to please limit her consumption of soft drink products around the kids, as they are beginning to request it regularly and it's becoming problematic.
9. Is it wrong to teach your children that other people celebrate other things? Maybe she's doing it because repetition = how children learn most effectively.
10. Tell her the dog is no longer allowed on the sofa and if it continues to be a problem the dog will be kenneled until it can learn to once again respect the no-sofa rule.
11. If kids are dressed, nanny should be dressed, but honestly it doesn't really seem like a big deal to me. Would you feel uncomfortable if you chose to be in a bikini while your children were dressed? If not, maybe step back and ask yourself why this is bothering you?
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