I live in New Jersey and I don't have any prospects for emergency child care. My nanny started work on 9/29. She missed one day in October, two days in December, 1 day in January, day, plus 1/2 day in February; when she called me and said she wasn't going to "make it" through the afternoon. On Friday, I came out to the kitchen at 6 in the morning and she had left a note. "I was up all night with chills and can't work today. I feel rotten and am going to try to get in to my own Dr." All of these sick days are paid. I am a single mother, wholly supporting my children and our lifestyle. I want to address this in the firmest of ways and may even let her go, but how do I make sure that I don't run in to this situation again? I take the train to work every day. That means, if my nanny is late, I miss a train and am delayed 40 minutes or more. I need a nanny who is punctual and who will work through a cold, chills, even a bout of diarrhea or a slight fever. Does this seem unreasonable? How do other mother's handle this?
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12 comments:
I live in New Jersey and I don't have any prospects for emergency child care. My nanny started work on 9/29. She missed one day in October, two days in December, 1 day in January, day, plus 1/2 day in February; when she called me and said she wasn't going to "make it" through the afternoon. On Friday, I came out to the kitchen at 6 in the morning and she had left a note. "I was up all night with chills and can't work today.
Dear mommy, please check whether your nanny is happy or miserable.does she have enough to eat in your house to keep her healthy and enough rest .even mommy cannot be a supermom.
Ever wonder why some nannies can stay with the families for years.??
Kids get Nannies sick; did you set a number of sick days your willing to pay? DO you provide your nanny with enough rest (off time); humans need rest to fight off colds. Do you provide your nanny with vitamins, supplements, and cold preventive? Do you provide your nanny with a gym membership; people who are active have far fewer sick days then those who are not.
IF this is her first full time nanny job with young kids, then yes she would be getting sick often. I work with young kids and school aged kids; I don't get really sick often because I do all of the above (12 hours between shifts, eat healthy, work out, take preventative steps). A number one rule you should have is HAND WASHING. She should have the kids wash hands after everything, her too; after play group, before eating, after bathroom/diapers, after the park. If the kids are sick she should wash her hands more often. SHe should be teaching them not cover their cough; if your really worried about it make her wear a face mask when your kids have the sniffles (like in the DR. Office)
I love how the nannies suggest she must be sick because you work her too long and starve her. This is an excessive number of days. I don't know how old your children are. When I am under the weather and home with the children, we watch movies or do inside activities, maybe I cancel an outing or an activity. I am a SAHM. I would think a nanny getting paid could suck it up and surmise enough strength to atleast physically be there. This irritates me because nannies are women yet they have so much resentment for the very women who provide them employment. Does she have no common sense? How could she not imagine that her excessive absences are causing you problems with your career?
I'll be honest, I SAHM because I could not handle the bullshit that comes with a nanny. Some insipid little snot nosed rat who's going to make me walk on eggshells?
Hell no!
Well, I have been with my family for three years, but a nanny for 10 years already. In those years I had to take ONE sick day, since I was crying out of pain.
In my interview I do discuss sickdays, and in average the family gives me 5 paid sick days for a year. If I don't use them by the end of the year I can use them as vacation days or they pay them out for me.
I think it's the Nannies responsibility to stay active and take supplements if needed. Some Nannies refuse to take care of sick children to prevent they get sick themselves but discuss this when you interview.
I still come to work with a cold, I do ask the parents if they mind, but mostly they don't. When the kids are sick and I catch it too, that's just how it goes. When I have the need to go to the doc because of the kids, the family takes care of my doc bill and medication. But I still make it to work, and if needed I will stay with the kids at home and relax with them. Do quite things that don't require me jump around and be wild and the parents can still go to work.
I think in this kind of work you have to be flexible, very flexible. And sometimes put yourself back to be the best.
Im sorry, "some insipid little snot nosed rat" Are you freaking kidding me???? I dont know what kind of experiences you had with nannies in the past but to lable ALL nannies as such is very unfair of you!! We take on the roll of the parent so you can work and provide for your family. And FYI working long hours and not eating right CAN cause your immune system to lower risking you get sick more often (this info coming from BOTH my bosses who are doctors). Not that it would be the only reason for getting sick BUT working with children who are exposed to germs every day or who are sick CAN be the reason the nanny gets sick. I take care of 3 children and ME NOT THEIR PARENTS take care of them when they are sick so i do tend to get sick from them. I work through my illnesses with the exception of vomiting. If i am vomiting and/or have a high fever i call out sick. I am guessing you are the type of "boss" no nanny would want to work for so guess its good you are a SAHM.
My advice..if you like this nanny...stop paying sick days and pay her a $100 bonus each month she gets to work on time.
If you have had 3 nannies in 3 years I think you need to sit down and evaluate what you expect from your nanny and what you offer your nanny. Everything should be spelled out in writing for both of you to understand. Speak with your current nanny and ask her if there is anything she feels need to be changed. Then bring up to her what you expect from her again. Also make sure you let her know in small ways that you appreciate everything she does. Your job is demanding but remember so is hers taking care of YOUR children. Extra hour or two here or there off, gift certificate somewhere she likes or a small bonus occasionally. Just sit down and talk with her now before it continues.
As for the SAHM...Really grow up. Who would want to work for someone like you anyway with how immature you are that you have to call people names. We nannies raise others children and love them while people like you are to busy trying to make money for your fancy houses, cars and material items. All the while we know your child/ren better then you, clean up your messes because you become to lazy to pick up a broom or vacuum after yourself. There are plenty of stay at home moms who aren't that great either so before you call all nannies some insipid little snot nosed rat" maybe you should get to know people better and get off your high horse because honey your
SH!+ stinks like everyone elses.
Yes!! Us nannies try our best not to get sick. But we are humans. Humans will and do sick. Especially if have to care for the sick. And some of us don't get sick/paid days off ..
I agree with anonymous above. If I were you, I'd reevaluate the situation to make sure your nanny is in a happy, healthy environment and that your expectations are not too high, and that you express your expectations explicitly. That being said, I was a nanny for 10 years and I called in sick less than 10 times. It is not too much to expect a nanny to work through a cold or mild illness. Heaven knows as mothers we don't get any days off ;) If there is potential for your nanny to get your children sick, then she shouldn't be working. In ANY job (not just nannying) calling in sick that often would be unacceptable.
Nannies get sick! It's part of the deal. I agree with pps. Does she get adequate rest, food at your house. Do you expect her to care for feverish or otherwise contagious kids? Colds are ok, but I don't watch kids with pink eye, fever, vomiting or diarrhea.
Sometimes people just have bad years... I was not sick for about 5 years in a row and also never had to visit a doctor for 8 years. And then last year it started with a bledder infection that made me take antibiotics and those made me feel so sick that I could not leave my bed for 3 days. One month later the same happened again. Again one month later I got a blood poisoning that made me stay at home for 3 weeks. Then I was okay for 3 months but then I got hit by influenza the first time in my life. Again 2 weeks at home. Just about a month later I had a bad cold that again made me stay at home for 2 days. Luckily in Switzerland a boss can not fire you because you are sick!
And I just want to say that if you have a nanny, you should ALWAYS have a backup-plan! ALWAYS!
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