The Inquisition

Hi, ISYN readers, I need some perspective please. I have worked with this family for 7 weeks. On Thursday, I was summoned into the kitchen after hours. [Let me just say I had issues with the way I was told to report to the kitchen].  I walked in the kitchen and dinner was clear and both employers were sitting in front of an empty table. They asked me to sit down. I did. Right away, the male employer said, "This is not something we're going to negotiate.". I looked perplexed. The wife looked at the husband and shushed him and said, "X said that you were on your phone driving to dance class." I let out a sigh of relief, knowing this was a misunderstanding. I assured them that never happened and I would never use my phone while driving. The child who reported this is 6 years old. The husband said, "so you won't mind us checking your phone." I was offended but knew I was in the right and also nervous, so I said, 'sure, of course' and I handed him my phone. He looked around on my phone, I'm guessing at the times text messages were sent?  I sat there for a literal five minutes and I began to get very upset. After five minutes, he passes it back to me, stands up and says, "I don't know, I see no clear evidence that you were on the phone, but if this comes up again, you're out." The wife shushed the husband and shook her head and mouthed "I'm sorry."  I worked all day Friday with no interaction. It's now Monday and I cannot stop thinking about this. I don't feel very secure in my job at all and I wonder what the next thing they are going to subject me to. Do I take the mom aside and talk to her? I really would like to get my last check on Friday and never come back.


MRD said...

Oh hell no! Do not try to talk to her, talk to him. Let him know that wasn't acceptable and you wont stand for it!

DanishNanny said...

That is so disrespectful! I would be very worried about the fact that they so clearly choose to trust a 6yo over you.
It doesn't matter what the MB thinks, says or does if this is the way DB handles things. It sounds like they have a hard time getting on the same page about you, and trust me, you DO NOT want to get further into this.
I'm with MRD, don't talk to her, talk to him. Let him know that his behaviour is not acceptable, and that you do not wish to work for someone who has such a hard time trusting you.

Jadyn said...

I agree, this is not going to end well. Look for a new job and get your final paycheck and get out.

Andrea SC said...

I think I understand why you were so amicable in the middle of all this but as you reflect now you have to take action and call them out for all of it, from the way they asked you to making you show them your phone. I would have said no to that.

Ashley said...

It would be difficult for me to stay in a nannying position if I felt uncomfortable. This isn't 1890, it's 2015. And you are not a servant, you are a caretaker. If you feel uncomfortable or unappreciated, I think that it is absolutely appropriate to move on and look for another position.

If you decide to confront the parents, just do it in a professional way. It's important to me candid but make sure that you feel calm enough to discuss the situation in a rational way, without being over-emotional. Let them know that you felt uncomfortable with the way that they approached you and going forward you need to feel confident that they trust and respect you.

If you start looking for another family to work with, have thorough interviews. The interview process should be mutually beneficial. A family needs to be sure that they are comfortable with the nanny that they hire, and a nanny should feel comfortable in any position that he/she chooses to accept. When you interview, be professional and confident, but pay close attention to how the parents interact with you- if you feel uneasy, politely move on.

I wish you the best!