I ended up quitting a great after-school nanny job recently due to some awkward issues with DB. I hated every second of it and we are in a small community. I babysit for a lot of MB's friends. In the aftermath of all of this, I have been second-guessing my decision a lot. I wanted to ask if any other nannies have been in this situation and what other nannies would have done if they were in my shoes.
Starting from the beginning.... I absolutely love MB and the three kids. Best job I've had. They have always paid me well and treated me so nicely. I felt like I've been a good nanny to them too... I've gotten super close to the kids, take them to all their activities, clean without them asking and run errands for them when the kids are occupied. I've always felt like DB was kinda awkward. He has a "man cave" downstairs with like 8 posters of cheerleaders and swim suit models taking their clothes off. Never seen that in a household with three young kids, but I digress.
It started about three months ago. He followed me out the door when I was leaving one night and whispered urgently insisting I take an extra $5 (?) as a "tip." I said over and over no thanks I will just wait for MB to pay me for the week, but he insisted and I felt so awkward I mumbled thanks and took it and walked to my car. A few weeks later I was leaving at night again when MB wasn't home. The oldest daughter was watching TV in the room and as I was trying to leave he held his hand out like a handshake... I looked at him weird and he grabbed my hand and put a $20 in, telling me I was "great" and "deserved a tip"-- same whispery weirdness and wouldn't let my hand go until I took it. I felt wrong taking it but I just wanted the situation to end so I said thanks even though that's not necessary and walked out.
Then he would start coming home and sharing with me "Oh man I had a bad day..." or sharing with me all of the flaws he hated about MB. I felt that this was EXTREMELY inappropriate... I always worried the kids would hear and I'd try to either ignore him or stick up for MB when I could.
The other day was my birthday, and he came home... immediately ranting and swearing... telling me his wife has been complaining too much about the house being dirty... only pausing to tell me I was "so awesome" because I was doing the dishes. Then he changed into running clothes and came out saying "I can't find my brand new expensive GPS watch, my wife is always throwing my s*** everywhere and it p***** me off!" I felt so uncomfortable I walked into the son's room and said hey buddy want to jump on the trampoline outside?? Get your shoes on and I will be waiting for you...I walked over and opened the front door I was just ready to get out... and DB comes out of his bedroom holding a pair of heart boxers and goes, "Hey like my new underwear?" ?????????????????? I didn't comment... just walked out the door with the little boy and played outside till MB got home.
I called her this weekend and told her everything and told her I felt too uncomfortable to continue working there.. She apologized but I felt like she thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. She texted me a couple days later saying the kids are heartbroken... I've been second-guessing myself since then.
Did I do the right thing?? Has anyone else been in this situation?