Nanny Navigating Through Employer's Divorce & Needs Guidance

I have a situation that is a "first" for me. Your input would be appreciated. My current family is going through a divorce. Although I have tried to maintain neutrality, it has been difficult. My priority is the welfare and happiness of the 2 young kids, 4 and 8. The divorce process is dragging on and the father is so angry, he isn't very patient or loving, during his visits. I realize that the children need me more than ever, as does their mother. Quitting is out of the question, as I am more like their grandmother, and mom has named me as their legal guardian( in the event of her demise). It is all very sad and I love them all! Any thoughts? Thank you!


Megan said...

I have never had to go through this, but I imagine it is a really tough situation for everyone involved. My only advice would be to keep your focus on the children, as it sounds like you already are doing. Good luck, OP!

RBTC said...

don't let yourself be put in any danger - out good thoughts go out to you

MissMannah said...

The best thing I can tell you is to stay out of it. The last thing you want is to get into a "he said, she said" match with either of the parents. If one tries to start bad-mouthing the other, cut them off right there. You must remain neutral for the sake of the children, and for your job! Good luck, this is a really hard position to be in.

Nanny Jenn said...

The best advice I can give in this type of situation is to remain neutral + professional at all times and just go w/the flow. If you get involved in any way, you will only alienate the other side which create a very toxic environment for the kids.

Good luck.

nanny s said...

Wow, I'm inclined to say start looking for a new job, but it sounds as if you're much older and have thought this through and are in a better position to handle these things.

As everyone else said, stay neutral. If push comes to shove and you must "side" with a parent, it should be the one who cuts your paycheck. Also, obviously be there for the kids, let them vent to you and just listen and support whatever they need to say about their parents.

But if it was me, I think this is really getting way too entangled and I likely would draw my own personal boundaries much farther away than yours.

Bethany said...

As everyone has advised stay neutral.

If push comes to shove always side with the children. Meaning everything you do and say and support should have their best interest in mind.

I think you might do well to find another job for your 9 to 5 and support this family as a friend and at a distance. To care for others well you have to take care of your emotional health and well being.