I am starting a new Nanny position with a great family in about a week. I also will be starting an In Vitro Fertilization cycle around the same time. My question - how descriptive do I need to be in explaining why I may need to be a couple minutes late here and there for doctor's appointments? - Anonymous
345 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 345 of 345So much for THIS thread dying a slow death! lol
I could tell early on that you weren't very smart. But now I can that you're just plain...oh nevermind. I feel sorry for you. I said "I don't watch fox news" You mean to say someone else said they don't watch it either?!! Amazing!!! We must be the same!! @@
Hey, we broke #200!! Or I should say I broke #200! ha-ha-ha!
YOU lied EBN, as I just showed in my last comment! Not to mention countless other lies... Don't call Lyn "EBN", it just shows how desperate you are that she has you figured out!
Not to mention how she rants about "having been accused of being a man, a fox news watcher and crazy."
Sigh, HOW many times have we heard EBN complain about all the things she's been "accused" of?
Seriously, it's like Christmas. You were just delivered under my tree with a big bow on your head.
Go ahead, make up even more monikers to try and get some "third party" defense.
"You were just delivered under my tree with a big bow on your head."
LMAO!
WHY is it all the EBN threads break 200 comments?? I don't get it!
"I broke #200 by lying and saying despicable things over and over and fake-apologizing but then saying horrible things again about people I've never met! Woohoo! Look at me!"
Most of us will just give up or agree to disagree after 50 comments on a thread. But EBN has just enough crazy to keep it up.
BTW, how long before EBN "shows up" (insert eye roll right about here) to play victim? Hahaha
Um, where's RBTC? Shouldn't she be chiming in about now?
Also, notice how this is the ONLY thread that rbtc and "ebn" have stayed away from? Like the only one EVER. Oh my god. The smiling, it hurts. I'm going to get a crap.
Yeah, I'm wondering where RBTC is. They are both suspiciously absent from this thread.
Oh don't worry. You know they'll both "show up" soon.
Lyn, oh hell, right/ I didn't even think of that but how true! Their on every other thread and not this one?? Doesn't make any sense!
Lyn, I hope you meant "cramp"
I expected her ages ago! And especially once Lyn figured out who it was!
***Aletheia grabs her saw and heads out to the backyard to cut down a Christmas tree***
Bahaha, yes I meant cramp. I just got SO excited!
Rhiannon, LOL! I hope so, too! This is SO worth being dead at work tomorrow.
crap/cramp lmfao!!!
*does an irish man's jig and the passes everyone beer and a brownie* ;)
Geez, this blog makes me realize I should've focused harder on my Mavis Beacon CD Roms!
Haha, I was just think the same thing Alethia! Maybe I should dust those off.
Ha! Great minds :)
***Aletheia finishes her beer, but passes the brownie to EBN, who everybody knows LOVES brownies!***
Actually I was a volunteer in the past. Now I didn't volunteer with kids I would spend time with older people in the nursing home. I loved it!! I had a few that I grew close to. Very enjoyable experience and I am thinking about doing it again.
Sorry, the kids I saw in my area on the website had major health issues. Like I said I couldn't handle it. People that can are angels.
EBN you should take up a hobby like knitting or painting. To release some of your anger.
Caring Mom... you said you lost a gallon of blood... I'm going to have to call bullshit on that. The human body only contains about 1.3 gallons. Sooooooooo if you lost a gallon, you'd be dead. Quite frankly, EBN (because we all know it's you...) I don't think you are even pregnant. Go troll on DCUM. No one wants you here. Take RBTC with you.
Surprised EBN/RBTC haven't shown up in this thread yet. I saw RBTC earlier on another one. Hmmm, really weird.
I am studiously sticking to my earlier declaration of no longer engaging with "caring" mom/EBN/whoever she is.
However, for the question of IP addresses. IP address are generally dynamic and assigned to a router and/or network not a specific computer. So if I login from home, then from Starbucks, it will show two different numbers. Also, our own home router, will change up our IP addresses several times a day. Most networks do this now. MPP could likely tell us which geographical area a poster is from, which in itself would be telling. But unless the poster is on a rare static network and doesn't know enough to change it up a bit, we are unlikely, even with MPP and everyone's permission to pin down an exact identification unfortunately.
Of course you can't lose a gallon of blood at one time and survive, but it was "probably a gallon" so, well, you know.
Lyn, I am liking the new spunk while still keeping your natural kindness : )
NYC, I can't go into my method, but I can 100% PROMISE you that Caring Mom posts from the same exact area EBN. Le sigh. I really am just too amused by this.
As for my spunk, haha, I don't mean to tmi but I swear you can always tell by my posts on here when it's my "lady times". I have to work on masking that better! lol!
Awww caring mom/EBN/RBTC, you're straight up crazy. Do you have dissociative identity disorder or are you just trolling really hard? Either way I feel bad for you as you're obviously deeply troubled. I really hope that you don't actually work with children.
Hate to break up this little party yall are having here, but I wanted to point out that EastBay is generally a good writer/speller and this Caring Mom is ATROCIOUS. That's how I tell if someone is using a different username, look at their writing styles.
Are you guys still talking about me? I got some adoption agency mail today. One of the mothers said she found a "family" sin the adoption agent. How ironic because she lost her child, her family. The kits says one mom decided to hold her daughter for no more than 20 minutes. Because she didn't want to get too attached. Because then she would probably want to bring the baby home. TWoah. Make sure those mothers don't get attached & want to keep their OWN babies.
Ugh!
I wonder if Lyn ever said what she thought I lied about? What story she thought was fake? If I knew, Id link or scan proof to back it up. I have no motivation to lie. :)
Has MPP came & let u all know I'm not EBN yet? IDK. Has Lyn apologized for her false accusations and her lies about adoption yet? I can't see posts past 200 on my cell phone. :)
So MP did we hit a record on number of replies to this post?
All of the time wasted trying to peice a puzzle together that doesnt fit. And here comes Amanda pointing out the obvious that you all missed.
I was surprised when I wasnt ragged on for my spelling.
Who still thinks I am east bay nanny? You guys are so lucky I got on this computer. I am taking a survey.
The survey is now closed. Thank you to everyone who participated. Your thank you gifts are in the mail.
MissMannah, I just wanted to point out two things. One is people can change up their writing and caring mom has several comments where her spelling and grammar are very articulate. Also, she had everyone believing she lived in Utah but finally after several times being asked admitted she lived in california, in the bay area no less. I don't much care either way, just sayin'.
Just saying/Lyn/EBN
Thank you for your never waivering interest in me. I am currently residing in this state, right NOW!
Aletheia/Lyn/East Bay Nanny/Just Sayin
LOL!! That's where I am currently residing, in the San Francisco bay area. LOL LOL
I missed your the punchline of your "joke." LOL!
She did? I missed it. I said, "I don't watch fox news." So you mean to tell me that someone else said they don't watch fox news either? OMG. We MUST be the same person! After all, there are only two people in the world who don't watch fox news, right? :)
The adoption process isn't beautiful for the woman losing her child or for the father, grandparents, aunts, uncles..... But you don't like to talk about that loss now do you? As long as baby moves up in "class" the ends jusify the means to you.
I do not see a family losing their child, due to a lack of resources and support as being "beautiful." I think its tragic.
Aletheia/Lyn/East Bay Nanny/just sayin
Look up the meaning of "in" and "from." Thank you . Have a nice day.
Right. I have nothing to lie about.
If you assume everyone is lying its because you are one.
I read earlier some of you had to work today. LOL! We were up all night. I get to sleep in. I don't have to work. I would never be up all night if I had to work the next day. Nothing online is that important to me. I feel sorry for you guys. Having to take care of someone elses children while I sleep in my comfortable bed.
That just sucks!! I bet you are all passed out & exhausted!! Poor things.
caring mom, your just confirming for them your EBN, she used to stalk the threads and post multiple times, just like your doing now.
Oh well you suddenly commennting on everything and starting converssations with ebn REALLY makes me believe that you are NOT her. *eye roll
Same goes for your stalking this thread. EBN never does that, lollololol!
Holy shit! Just when you think the craziness has stopped, she just keeps on going and going and going and.....
MPP: Why havent you come here to confirm that I am not Easy Bay Nanny? I think tis time you clear up LYNS LIE that we are posting from the EXACT same area. If someone else was in my house on my computer I am sure Id notice!
I dont care if people dont agree with me. I expect that. but I dont want someone else to take the heat for the shit that I said.
Caring mom are you this annoying to your husband? Does he hit the bottle every night?
Aletheia said...
"I broke #200 by lying and saying despicable things over and over
_____________________________________
Lying about what exactly? I can only assume youve been lying to ASSume that I am. because I've lied about nothing. have a nice day sweetie
Hahaha, god bless your heart ebn. You certainly never fail to entertain. :)
EBN, are you sure you can read? Because I already explained how you lied, and you even responded to that particular comment...
Is EBN here? If youre talking to me my name is caring mom.
How did I lie?
Oh, so you can't read. That's sad.
Crazy town banana pants.
I just love threads that prove there are some people out there who are crazier than I am.
Bahaha, agreed!
MissMannah,
You aren't crazy. Just fiesty and opinionated (good things with self-awareness)!
The latest new additions are not really crazy either, if we mean psychotic, they are just extremely personality disordered and attention-seeking. That's why engaging them is pointless. They need some good DBT : )
well, ok. i got to about #230 and then - geez you guys never stop.
With great respect to Lyn on the adoption thing - in regards to myself she is disengenuous sometimes.
I do not participate in every thread - and this was going to be one of them - because --wait for it... I know nothing personal about adoption or invtro,cloning , as i did conceive naturally only once.
So - I am sorry Lyn has distracted from her valuable story by dragging me into a thread where she clearly has very valuable knowledge, yet she and others have now cheapened that by making it a "rbtc" attack
there is no love lost between myself and mannah - but i agree with her - EBN has a very specific writing style which actually started annoying people at about post # 50, on another thread and caring mom seemed to get it going to about 200 before it all going into farce mode. I do not approve at ALL of using multiple monikers - bad business caring mom
Whatever --
Lyn - do me a favor - ( or not)
on threads where you have much more to add than i do based on your experience --
do not cheapen your integrity by dragging me into it in this substandard manner
you are better than that
caring mom - i was about to get on your case for the multiple monikers but having registered i am open to respect for you
i am a little disappointed in lyn and her friends
i was painstakingly making my way thru this trying to learn from them and then it degenerated into another "you are ebn and rbtc" thread which unfortunately compromises their credibility and professionalism
lyn et al have wronged me once again - ok,
but - i do understand that every single poster had valid things to say based on personal experience, and that there is emotionalism involved that is understandable
caring mom - you are now on lyn and her friends' crumb list - they may follow you around the blog criticising you
i do hope you will stay with the blog - everyone's experiences should mean something
Good Lord EBN. You're one interesting piece of work. That's for sure. Who exactly is taking care of your family while you hang out all day on isyn? *rolls eyes.
Knittings a great way to release anger. The more angry I am, the better I knit!
hey - how about C-mad for short !
i do not think it would be a good precedent to require the blog administrator to prove who people are because the accusatory group calls various posters other various posters 1000 times in the last couple weeks alone - it's turning into a mania!! ;) she needs to take her time to run the blog
psst - they know you are not EBN - or me - this is a strategy/therapeutic tool they have begun to use when someone gives an opinion they do not like or confronts them in some other way and they become emotional - it's a way of distracting from your points by making you - not you LOL
they are pulling your leg ;)
C-Mad - you did get very emotional and if i understood it correctly because parts of it were confusing - you spoke out against adoption per se?
Of course adoption is a valid and good way for someone to add to , or create their family
but - you had points also - every industry has a dark side
it does not create emotion if a widget maker does something maipulative, or a button maker
but - the clergy, the police, nannies and adoption authorities - when they do wrong things or manipulative things it can create intense emotion
Every person on the thread has and had the right to fight like hell for their family and their kids - and the emotion is ok by me
( i do not agree with the way i was drug into it though)
C-mad - i hope you will be you from now on and not any semi-anonymous numerous posters - although i do understand - you were passionate about your experiences and were working out your way of expressing it
So I was scrolling down the thread to see comment #276 (omg) and I happened to notice **this** little gem... Enjoy!
"caring nanny Sep 28, 2012 5:47:00 AM
This is an epic fail on your part. But I'm enjoying I. I'm convinced that YOU must be East Bay Nanny attention whoring as usual!
Fake stories? Back that up."
See it? "Caring NANNY" --another lie-- she has claimed to be a nanny! Lol
aletheia - instead of looking at semantics - look at the whole picture - C-mad ( she is now registered) and lyn and more - both had very emotional experiences with this issue - it's not all about one post.
many people got emotional - they were protecting their view of their family - no one person is wrong or right ;)
sorry i was dragged into it but now that i am !...!
Huh. I must have missed "caring whatever-it-is-now" discussing her traumatic adoption experience. Maybe because she mixed in so many monikers and so darn much CRAZY.
And the personal attacks against a specific poster who actually HAS an adoption story didn't help either.
"caring whoever you are", you might consider turning the hysterical hyperbole down a couple dozen notches if you want anyone to actually listen to you and seriously consider what you're saying.
Good luck with that!
Dayum Aletheia, good catch! So many of us missed that little treat! Sooooo, Caring mom/EBN finally slipped up! See? If a person runs their mouth enough they will eventually stick their foot in it! lmao!
----
caring nanny said...
This is an epic fail on your part. But I'm enjoying I. I'm convinced that YOU must be East Bay Nanny attention whoring as usual!
Fake stories? Back that up.
Sep 28, 2012 5:47:00 AM
----
Caring NANNY, huh? You said you weren't a nanny so why would you write that? Yea, I saw your lame excuse above about the swimmer BUT lately (after using multiple monikers) you'd been sticking with caring mom, so why change it now?
Sorry Caring mom/EBN, you'll never convince us your not EBN. You've tripped yourself up too many times, stalk the threads like EBN and not only do you both live in the same area, which is insane as big as this world is, but you two have the same exact personality. Just own up, you'll feel better, set yourself free!
Btw, kinda weird how EBN, who'd been living on ISYN (same as you've been, too) hasn't been around. She oddly enough disappeared at the same EXACT time YOU showed up.
Hmm, if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck.. lol
Your worlds are so so small that anyone with an opinion or life experience so different from your own is contained for your little minds by labeling it "EBN". Continuing to throw my name around at every post that you find offensive is the best you can do?! And you plan to parent a child?
EBN and C-mad - the "gang" is jacking with you
don't you remember?
Aletheia was a pirate in her last life who kidnaps people - renames them- and then makes them work on her boat
but yeah, it's a gang mentality - they don't like certain people and want to distract them from posting their opinion so they make a 400 post thread saying they are someone else
been there done that bought the t-shirt wore it out
i look forward to hearing you guys opinions - you are just as important as they are
First of all, I'm not in a gang so I don't have a gang mentality. I don't like bullying people and therefore I try really hard to phrase my responses to some of this appropriately in order to decrease the "mean-girl" that sometimes appears within EVERYONE. That being said, due to some evidence which I personally KNOW to be true, I will second earlier posters. I can't say WITHOUT A DOUBT that caring mom is EBN, I can just say that again (BASED ON WHAT I PERSONALLY SAW) it would be an extremely large coincidence if they aren't the same people.
The second thing that really irks me is EBN/RBTC totally ended the last drama saga with getting really upset about Lyn. Next thing you know, this post is being hijacked into an anti-adoption, mean hurtful statements towards Lyn. Coincidence? Hard to believe. Maybe it is, but whatever the case.. Caring Mom, you are being such a BITCH to Lyn way before she got upset and started coming back in spiteful ways towards you. Maybe you are EBN, maybe you aren't, the only thing I know for sure is you were way out of line SUPER EARLY in this conversation.
Plus. I know several people/nannied for some who have adopted through Bethany. The ones I nannied for I was privy to reading their medical info. They do have detailed medical information, and most if it was MUCH more detailed about prior generations than my medical history is. Plus 3 years later, I have met the birth mother and she is just fine and dandy with her decision. Stop generalizing. You have amazing me with your ability to think in fallacies, and all or nothing statements. YES there are bad situations. But you know what, there are GOOD ones too. The world is not black and white, and I strongly advise you to try to look at things in shades of gray, or at least in shades of not being SO MEAN to people who disagree. I'm not saying none of the other women here have been out of line, they most certainly have at points in this conversation, so don't turn this into a "them" against you, similar to how EBN turned it into a "them" against her. Its not that. It is YOU AGAINST THEM for much of the earlier conversation so you made your bed, I don't feel too terribly sorry for others getting hateful with you.
RBTC, the thing is, we do know she's lying. We're not making that up, you didn't "rat us out". So catching her in a lie is indeed valid. I can sense in your posts on this thread (though maybe I'm wrong) that you don't actually want to support her, but you feel some sort of obligation to do so. You don't have an obligation to her. She is lying and saying awful things. I admit that my gloves have come off as well, and maybe they shouldn't have, maybe I should strive to be more polite, but I'm only human and the terrible things she said have really hurt me and others who I have come to care for. Did you see where she apologized? It was fake. She was just trying to manipulate everyone. She's been doing a lot of that. My apology was real and heart-felt. I honestly felt bad for what she said she'd been through, and for hurting her feelings when she was in such a vulnerable state-- but then I found out the truth. She's just trying to hurt Lyn and others because she's mad about the deleted post. I'm sure you won't believe me, but it's true.
i do not support everything c-mad said and since i have been treated rancidly by the semi-anonymous no moniker slugs i do not support the initial fake name thing - she has ponied up and registered which is more than we can say for some of the other low-life cowards
But when you talk about lying - if you mean that ebn and c-mad are the same person - please do not forget that i was accused of being ebn in very vile ways
i am an expert on this emotional "everyone is everyone else " wild goose chase
now - here is the way i see it - and you do not have to agree--
i think both lyn and c-mad both got very emotional and even hysterical because of their VERY understandable needs and wishes and wants re: children and their families
they are allowed - both of them - and it's clear many other women were reacting emotionally according to past experiences
i would not even be in this discussion except several of you guys started dissing me for no reason
but - to foist the entire thread onto EBN turning it into a thread premeditated on revenge to lyn specifically
wow. wow.
aletheia - i can say that i have been watching you start as a calm reasonable person into --something else - i don't know that i can reason with you
i think that is pretty crummy to do that to ebn or any other human
ps - about ebn - i have seen more than once - i was involved once- that i think she is an early riser and goes to sleep fairly early so when various ones of us are up late on these issues - she gets accused of being - whoever- because she is ALSEEP
aletheia - you guys will move on from c-mad as your flavor of the week and the next shmoe who has a problem with lyn( or another of you guys ) will be accused of being c-mad, ebn or me)
may your games continue LOL - best wishes
future nurse - i know nothing about adoption, but you just can't keep me out of it
wow
charming post - certainly not gang-like, or bully-like - you can certainly be very proud of yourself
"The second thing that really irks me is EBN/RBTC totally ended the last drama saga with getting really upset about Lyn."
We aren't going to play this game RBTC, this is the only thing in my entire post referencing you. I can break it down though so you will be clear upon my meaning.
The last drama saga--- you most certainly were a part of it, I am referencing the post where you and EBN were fighting against the posters whom you felt had wronged you.
No where else are you referenced within that post. Therefore none of it was directed towards you. Unless you are caring mom or ebn or lyn? If not I don't believe it was intended for you :)
If you need anything else cleared up feel free to let me know. I personally believe that my meaning was crystal clear, however I'm open to clarifying if you feel I "just can't keep (you) out of it"
Nope not the same person. Just sister wives
RBTC, to think that you have seen me go through some sort of "transformation" is just beyond arrogant. You do not know me. When I want to speak, I speak. When I want to be silent, I am silent. And when someone starts spewing vicious attacks, I will not be silent.
Next. You seem to think that I have accused you of being EBN. I have not. If you're going to accuse me of something, at least be accurate.
Finally, I can't entirely blame you for not believing the evidence, since you have not been privy to it. It is not my evidence to share, so I can't help you with that. Suffice it to say, I do not have any sort of "pattern" of saying one poster is actually another, and I don't see any point in saying that without evidence. It would just lead in circles. So no, this is not some "tactic" "we" have devised to distract anyone from anything. And the fact that you think that is what "we" are doing by default lends your support to the horrible things she said. And I find that despicable.
I can look out for myself, thanks. No need to feel sorry for me. You can stop anytime, you know. I thought you were done ages ago, when you fake-apologized (real classy, by the way). Notice how I'm not responding to you in the way you'd like? That's because I'm done with you. No one who unrepentantly spews such venom is going to warrant my attention to their arguments. Bye-bye!
methinks thou dost protest too much altheia - it's ok ;)
dang, i don't have time to read all that right now but.....
with great respect to ebn - she is pretty much not able to stay focused enough to write about the same exact subject for that long
but i will check back later and read it
cmad said "The problem is adoption is being used not to find homes for unwanted children but as a way to generate income, solve infertility issues and to eliminate the poor population. Adopted babies move up on the social ladder and pay the ultimate price. The only thing I think of that is worse would be death. To lose their mothers, their fathers, their family. If its an international adoption, they may stand to lose so much more; their culture, language, family, religion, heritage and community."
So, the children surrendered for adoption are wanted by their birth parents (BP), could be easily provided for by their BP, are used by adoption agencies as a way to make money, and would be better off dead instead of adopted by the parents they grow up with. And the whole culture issue is, imo, largely BS. Have you REALLY never seen or heard of adoptive parents and their children taking part in festivals/celebrations/rituals/etc. that commemorate the child(ren)'s birth heritage? Because I sure have.
cmad said "It's a way to eliminate the unwanted in society; the poor, the single mothers, the less educated. Its not about unwanted babies, its about unwanted mothers. Its awful and barbaric. One day the way adoptions are currently being handled will be looked back upon as coercive and highly inappropriate."
How, exactly, does domestic adoption eliminate poor people and birth mothers? If you know of some sort of murder for hire scheme launched by adoption agencies who are offing BP. you need to get off ISYN and contact the law enforcement agencies at all levels!
If your primary concern is for the mothers who are somehow swindled out of their children, do you volunteer at programs that help those women seek counsel and support?
First let me state that I am in favor of informed consent on all levels of pregnancy and the issues surrounding it. I want women (and their partners) to be aware of the choices they have.
That said, I am also in favor of adoption. Newborn adoption, foster care adoption, domestic adoption, international adoption... I think that foster care adoption in particular needs to be EASIER, with far fewer chances given to CRAP parents to continue to screw up their children's lives.
Yes, sometimes adoption is difficult. Sometimes it's even traumatic for some or all of the adoptive triad. And many times, it's GOOD, even GREAT for the adoptive triad.
Nothing is perfect. But I think your outline for preventing adoption is simply going to cause pregnant women to feel pressured to keep babies they don't want, and that, generally speaking, is a REALLY BAD idea.
Oh RBTC, you seem to think you're so clever. However, the difference between when I correctly quoted our friend Shakespeare and what you did here with your incorrect quotation, is that I don't respond to every little comment, such as the comments where you and she have mentioned and/or referenced me on other threads. Also, I was actually giving you good advice, whereas you're simply avoiding the issues, as usual.
ok, i went back and waded thru the entire thing and actually i was able to make more sense out of cmad's positions understanding who you were while reading all the moniker posts
much of the controversy seems to be about 2 or 3 areas
1. The propaganda involved in the business aspect of adopting
2. Adoption itself
3. Ad-Hominem attacks by yourself on lyn and then her and some of her supporters attacks on you and to my dismay - myself,even though i haad nothing to do with the topic
As for #1. The propaganda aspect of the adoption process as a business rather than an altruistic non profit or nationalized institution - you had many good points to make when you were sticking to the facts - when you got emotional, some points suspended belief - but you are entitled to your emotions on this subject
#2 - the value of adoption per se - the idea that adoption is only "right" or 'beneficial" in "rare" circumstances - i cannot buy that - tales,nycitymom, Dr J and others made good points so i do not need to
#3 - the Ad - Hominem attacks by you and lyn et al upon each other - i am sorry to say - you started that ;( by your line that lyn wanted to build a family based on other people's pain etc etc.
Unprovoked personal attacks are what lyn and some not all of her friends do(as you can see on this thread re:me ) - so stooping to her level did you no good as far as credibility and furthering your info
and - your facts were very compelling --
it sucks to be poor, you can be manipulated when you have no money and the rich have entitlements
ultimately - i am a big fan of PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY - any BM who gives up her child - that is a decision she makes, there is just too much "it's not my fault" in this country today
and i was especially turned off by your litany of material goods that you were saying the BM's accept - the gifts, phones etc as if they are being tricked/forced into it
but - your points are well taken - the adoption agencies have their spin etc
it's a very complex issue
lyn and some not all of her posse have done just like you c-mad - compromised their own valid points by wrong personal attacks basically trying to take away your identity and your voice - it's what they do - i do hope you will not let them
maybe all that can change somehow - i know YOU can - you went from "SYBIL" to cmad so i hope you can stay with facts
on the OTHER hand - when the "gang" is the aggressor which they usually are then you have the right to defend yourself - but that did not happen here - you were the aggressor
hope i did not offend you!
Cmad, I quoted YOU saying:
>>>>*****The only thing I think of that is worse would be death.*****<<<< To lose their mothers, their fathers, their family.
And was asking YOU if YOU truly thought that babies would be better off dead instead of adopted.
Your response makes no sense: "Whats up with these crazy conclusions? >>>>*****Better off dead? That is an awful thing to say.*****<<<< EASILY provided for? Come on. You dont have to agree with me. But the exaggeration is ridiculous."
I was questioning YOUR hypothesis, so if you wish to discuss YOUR thoughts, please feel free to own what you said (it's highlighted above with >>>>***** and *****<<<<) and then ask me an actual question based on MY response to YOUR statement that the only thing worse than adoption is death.
If you can't or won't debate intelligently and logically, by owning the things you say, there's no point in my wasting time and energy discussing anything with you.
TTFN!
CMAD, you said (several times): "The only thing I think of that is worse would be death. To lose their mothers, their fathers, their family."
This opinion is what bothers me most of all, you appear to be saying that adoptive families are inferior and that the biological family is the only real one. Please, correct me if I am mistaken.
The reason it upsets me is because my first charges were adopted. The boy lived in a Guatemalan orphanage his first 6 months of life and the girl was born to a Guatemalan girl who looked to only be about 13 years old. So do you really think both these children would have had a better life back in Guatemala? Because they both are doing wonderfully with parents who dote on them.
All I can imagine as I read everything written by the psychotic woman is it being said in Gollum's voice (from Lord of the Rings). Now, C-mad..... "Leave and never come back!"
OK, I think we can come to the agreement that the best possible life for all children is if they are able to stay with their biological families. In a perfect world, that is. But this world is not perfect or ideal, so we have to make do with what we have. Some people, plain and simple, do not need to be parents. These people include: very young teenagers (because of a lack of maturity), drug addicts who have no interest in getting clean, sociopaths or anyone else who verbally and physically abuses their child. Of course there's a few other categories, I just can't think of them right now. But if one of these people happen to get knocked up, whether on purpose or by accident, should they be encouraged to care for their child despite the bad circumstances? I do not think they should.
On the other hand, there are many women (myself included) who deeply desire children. I know my husband and I will be excellent parents. If (god forbid) I am unable to conceive a child, should I just go childless for the rest of my life so that the people who don't deserve the gift they were given can keep their own child?
And, whether you want to believe it or not, there are children who are not wanted. I have a very good friend who is an excellent mother to an adorable 2-year-old, but she also had an abortion 13 years ago. She specifically said at the time: "I do want children someday, but today is not that day."
Mannah, that comment was perfect. I agree with everything you said 100%. Sending positive energy and well wishes for your family however you find a way to complete it.
cmad - i will go on those websites as a learning experience
but - start dissing america and you are going to lose me
yes it's better here than most places for all of us - immigration is the sincerest form of flattery
we are very lucky to have what we have and part of that is helping others in the world
what you are wishing for is - er.. uh... i think "marxism" where no one has more money than the rest so everything can be fair for every person - the best of all possible worlds
that is certainly something to work for and wish for but it will not happen in this world
maybe the next,though ;)
Cmad,
I want to comment on something you said in one of your posts. This isn't an attack so don't be offended. I've watched you all week in your stance against adoption, and honestly, I think you probably take some of the literature you've read, well, too literally.
"...an American family with money=a better life than with their own parents, in their own country, within their own heritage, language and community."
Sorry, wrong. I have volunteered working with numerous families that have adopted from other countries and one thing I've noted that most (not all mind you) but most adoptive families try their hardest to keep the childs heritage intact. They hire tutors so they can learn the language, parents study with them to learn their culture, etc. They want their child to know where they came from.
Please stop generalizing and stereotyping.
This is a chance for Lyn to prove to us that she can find out who posters are. Who am I?
22kb
Most post adoption and post abortion stories that exhibit signs are regret are posted by pro-life religious groups. They are putting out just as much propaganda as the adoption agencies you rail against.
I don't always see adoption the way you described, but sometimes yes, it is exactly that. Of course, I don't see anything in absolute terms...ever.
CMAD...how are you able to be so level-headed and yet so disrespectful at the same time? Isn't it time to lay off Lyn? She appears to be done with this thread, so you should be done with her.
CLBW/aka Caring Mom,
If you would like me to write your real name, age, facebook page, google+, etc -- I will do so. You created a profile and cannot possibly imagine you are hard to find.
However, out of respect, I will not do so unless you would like to reply and give explicit permission once again.
-not lyn
Cmad- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2212009/Heartbreaking-notes-pinned-babies-left-steps-New-York-Foundling-Asylum.html
I came across this in the Daily Mail and thought it might put your argument in context. I believe that most all parents who give up their child for adoption make their choices with clarity about what they must do, just as women who choose abortion decide based on life circumstances only they know best. For certain there are exceptions, but to claim that women are passive victims in these decisions is not giving women the respect and authority they deserve to make the best of their personal lives. The basic truth is that in most cases women willingly make these decisions, however unfair they seem.
I can't address ALL adoptions, but I can speak with some small authority about Guatemala, since I cared for a child adopted from that country.
Children are left at orphanages by birth mothers. If they cannot be taken in by orphanages, they grow up to be street kids, often living in the city garbage dumps.
But, I can hear you all ask (especially cmad, and I can't wait to hear how living in the trash is better than being adopted!), how would it be possible that an orphanage would turn away a child in need?
Because the orphanages are catastrophically underfunded. Before Guatemala closed their adoption program down under pressure from the Hague committee report, one of the things adoptive parents would do when matched is start sending supplies to their child's orphanage. They also brought supplies in when they visited their child or came to take their child home. (This is the case in foster homes and orphanages, BTW.)
And despite that, for whatever reasons, the child I cared for came home at 11 months weighing what a 5 - 6 month old would weigh. The child had been fed HALF-STRENGHTH formula at the orphanage, and had not had any interventions to correct for left side weakness due to birth trauma. The child was housed with 27 other kids, and there were 7 workers TOTAL to care for them.
If that child had not been adopted, the future would have been grim indeed. And people like cmad and those who run the Hague committee insist that such children would be better off in their own country. A country where no one can afford to adopt a child (or where adopting is seem as a stigma or is just NEVER done due to socio-cultural issues) is not the best place for a child to be adopted. Seems pretty simple to me!
I spent a summer with my Dad and a bunch of charity workers in a remote villiage in the Honduras, building a school for 3 near by orphanages. There were girls who would show up on the job site and hide their babies swaddled up in our work trucks because they knew the orphanage would turn them down. So sad. Most of the women appeared to be preteens. There were children paving the streets. Dirty, alone, living in homes made of cardboard, forming their own families out of fellow orphans. Begging everyone in our group to take them to America. My Dad has spent time digging wells and teaching water purifying classes to literal villiages of orphaned children in Uganda, Ethiopia, the Honduras and even China. These kids are left to fend for themselves because no one wanted them. It's gut wrenching.
C-mad- But women ARE poor. They ARE suffering and they ARE raped and forced to make these decisions. To say that these circumstances should have no bearing on their decisions is an impossible dream. I can't understand where you're coming from here.
I must have misunderstood you. So then you're saying that it's not the personal choice of a woman to place her baby up for adoption that bothers you, it's the business on the other end that can potentially cause a mom to feel pressured and make a choice she regrets? I can definitely imagine that this happens. Just as women are pressured into keeping a child she knows she can't care for. It goes both ways.
"This is a chance for Lyn to prove to us that she can find out who posters are. Who am I?"
Followed by the mocking:
"SILENCE BEFALLS UPON LYN RE: HER SECRET ABILITY! LOL :)"
I can tell you who you are and the various other information. I will not, since you have now requested your personal information not be made public. But make no mistake -- I know exactly who you are and what your agenda is. Your ridiculous pretense that this was NOT personal was absurd.
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