So I was talking to a friend of mine who has a little girl. For now the mom is a SAHM. But dad has been encouraging her to get a job. He even lined one up for her. This means the little girl will go to daycare from what I gathered. When I told him I received a job and he asked for what and I told him I was a nanny. He got annoyed and stated he didn't see why the parents can't just put their little ones in daycare. I didn't make it about money. I told him the little one I cared for had special needs so daycare would not work for her. I left it at that. But this is the 3rd time this has occurred from non nanny parents. Just curious as to why? Sometimes daycare doesn't work for little ones, although some transition well into it. Could it be guilt? - Anonymous
6 comments:
I don't follow your story.
But I think both are valid forms of care.
Sometimes having a nanny isn't best for the child or the family situation.
I doubt it's guilt from not hiring a nanny.
You've probably run into parents that are tired of being judged for putting their kid and daycare and they assume your are judging them as well.
Your friend may feel guilty because he basically forced his daughter's mother to leave the role she wanted.
I agree with Bethany. I think parents sometimes get defensive about daycare VS Nanny care because of social stigmas.
Child care is a very emotional issue in this country. The STAHMs think the WOHMs should "stay home and raise your own child" Working moms/dads are stressed trying to do it all, and need to feel their choice, daycare, or nanny, is the best for their family. No matter what they choose, they will be judged. It's a no win situation.
Many wonderful things happen in childcare.
I would much prefer my child to be in childcare since it is safer and there is a team of people rather than one person on their own.
Many special needs children thrive in daycare. I think one of the reasons parents like private care is that it is more convenient: no late fees, no rules to follow, and they're the boss rather than the daycare.
I've had a family child care home that I facilitated for many years. I've also worked as a child care assistant in someone elses child care & of course been a nanny. Currently I am a very bored sahm for the past four years. The only work I want to do is as a nanny. I'm meeting the children today that I've already interviewed with the mom. Its a four hour, four day a week gig, three miles from my house. Its perfect. And its just what the kids need. Daycare wouldn't make any sense for them. Its Mon-Thur 5-9AM. They NEED a nanny. In other situations, a nanny wouldn't provide what a child needs. My son goes to preschool. If it weren't for preschool, I would prefer child care over a nanny bc @ age four, I want him socializing, learning to take turns & to feel part of a group. If he were an infant, Id want him with a nanny had I gone back to work bc child cares are the perfect breeding ground for germs regardless of how ocd clean the owner is(I speak from experience). You see, in some situations a child care would not meet the needs of a child. In other cases, a nanny wouldn't meet the needs of the child.
I feel I need to point out that not ALL SAHMs think that WOHMs should stay home & raise their own kids. What about men? My husband is a WAHD, is he a "real" daddy & all the WOHDs are not raising their kids? Of course not. I am a SAHM & I know that the absolute best situation for a child is one where their mother reports being happy. Multiple studies have proven that women who work part time report being the happiest of all. I feel that child care is an extremely personal decision. I do feel sadness for children whose parents leave them in the care of a paid caregiver fifty hours a week regardless of its a child care of nanny. There is always that extreme case where the child is truly being raised by professionals. But that's the exception. I think the sahm vs wohm debate is just a bunch of insecure women trying to one up others bc they feel guilty. A confident parent says, do what's best for you & yours(excluding neglect). :)
Yes, I think its guilt. If the parents were happy & content with their choices, they would have no need to challenge you.
My opinion is that younger children should have a nanny. They can benefit from the 100% attention and interaction on an individual level as well as enjoy the comfort of their own homes...esp. their own cribs.
As children get older, it is beneficial to socialize them and prepare them for school. That is when daycare/pre-school steps in.
When a child is ready to socialize w/other children is based on a child's personal development. I have seen some kids desire a playmate at 2 1/2 and others not until they are around 4.
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