Detrimental Reviews

I have a question for nannies and mothers about reviewing caregivers on websites. I worked for a family for nine months, and while there were many, MANY issues with the job, I nevertheless did the job, and did the job well. The issues were mainly personal, as the mother never really took to me and would get really mad at me for turning down extra hours...even though the extra hours would be her asking me (insisting!) to leave my classes at university early to take her son to the dentist. This happened twice...over my finals week. Of course I'm not going to leave class DURING MY FINALS to take your son to the dentist. Needless to say, I left at the start of the summer break with the mutual agreement that it wasn't working and that we would be going different ways for the next school year.

But now, for some reason, I cannot find another job. I found her on a nanny website that's well known (if I can mention it here, it's and ever since I stopped working for her, I am getting nothing but rejection letters. Is this a coincidence, or has she served me with a devastating review online that's effecting my ability to get another job? If this is the case, how do I get around this issue? I feel it's completely unjustified to give me such a bad review when I bent over backwards for her family during the time I worked for them. I nannied, tutored, cleaned, and did laundry all for $10 an hour.

Both parents are big travelers, and four separate times during the school year they were both required to travel during the same two-week period. I stayed with the two kids and was the primary care giver for two weeks straight each time. All for ten dollars an hour, because she didn't feel like she needed to pay me while I was sleeping. She has refused me a written reference, and I know for a fact I can't include her on my resume. In a sense, I have wasted the past nine months working for this family. After all I did for them, I received absolutely no thanks, and now I'm stuck with a hole in my resume and bad reviews (if the case) to boot. Thoughts? Advice? Please help me get another job!


NannyPants said...

So you're not sure if she wrote a bad review? I THINK (definitely don't quote me here) that you can see any and all reviews written about you on Is your fear that she wrote about you on another site or something? I'm a little confused. Is it completely out of the question to approach her and ask her if there were any reviews written about you?

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

If she wrote you a bad review on, then you can read it by clicking on "My Reviews." It's really easy to do.

I am a Nanny who has been looking for a job for the past few months. I primarily use +, but like you...have gotten my applications declined a lot. There is a lot of competition out there right now due to the weak economic climate and that is what I attribute it all to.

If she didn't write you a bad review, then I would just keep trying and praying. That is what I have been doing these past few months. Hopefully you will get a response soon.

Keep your chin up. ☺

nycmom said...

I can see reviews of caregivers and they can reply to reviews on sittercity. I would think care is similar.

The only avenue I can think of would be another parent that your last charge regularly had playdates with. They will have seen you in action working and doing a great job, plus they have no vested interest in helping or hurting you so it feels like a very honest source. My current nanny was referred to me this way and I was comfortable with it (plus older references). GL.

Bethany said...

You can see who reviews you on

It's a tough tough market out there for nannies looking for a job. There are many nannies looking and very few jobs. Parentc can be extremely picky in this market doesn't mean you received a bad review.

I would ask a former employer for a reference, or as nycmom suggested.

You can also try area play classes and mommy groups for advertising.

Good luck! I sincerely hope you get a great boss next time around.

MissMannah said...

You can see your reviews on your profile on Paranoid, much? How long have you been looking for a job. From the sound of it, it has only been like 4-6 weeks, which is perfectly normal. Last year it took me 3 months to get a job. Two years ago it took me 4 months.

MissDee said...

IMO, is a joke.

Chelsea said...

I agree that you should include the job on your resume. You don't need to have a reference from every job you include.

I was very recently in a situation where I began looking for a new job while working for my previous family, due to difficult circumstances. They did not know I was looking, and I did not expect a positive reference from them.

I included the family on my resume, and was just very up-front and honest about the situation at all of my interviews. I applied for probably 100+ jobs, heard back from a handful, and interviewed with 5 families before finding a job.

I was professional through my previous job--I had to leave due to serious communication issues and differences that I just could not fix. I'd apply with an introduction and only my resume, then explain the situation on the phone prior to setting up an in-person interview. I found a job within about 2 months.

anon #1 said...

RE-posting for Anonymous...
You can see any review on but is this type of thing happens all the time in this business and parents should realize that you can be a great Nanny and have a few unhappy families for no other reason than a personal issue by one of the parents. Its not regulated and in many cases doesn't follow the protocol or atmosphere of professional jobs- so there is a ton of ways the position can go wrong, and usually do. The parents can be fickle- and
drop you for the most insignificant slight- or give you a bad reference if you asked for more money and left due to pay or even because you communicated a concern. This type of a job is not supposed to be personal- but with many of these parents it becomes personal instead of professional and thats where problems always lie. In any event I doubt you are being paranoid about a bad reference- in most cases if things went even slightly uncomfortable I can imagine she wont be saying anything good about you but in my opinion I wouldn't exclude your 9 months from your resume because you are just letting her win if you do that. Every story has two sides although only one is the truth- she can say what she wants but you know the circumstances were not due to any unprofessionalism on your account and if you articulate this to the family they should understand. If they don't they are just looking for reasons to not hire you so forget them and move on. But definitely don't screw yourself over this woman- thats your experience which is even better than a reference.

Fiona said...

I wouldn't assume that just yet.

If I am correct you haven't been searching for a job that long, and I hate to tell you this, but searching for a nanny job is tough the last couple of years. It took me 4 months to find my current job, and I have nanny friends that have been searching for 6 months.
These are women that have raised their own children, have degrees, 15 or 20 years of experience, stellar reviews and references. There just aren't enough jobs to go around, and parents get to be picky. That is why I typically encourage nannies to have a job lined up before their current job ends or before they quit. Give it some time.

Also, you can see what reviews have been left for you on both Care,com and, and I believe you can leave a counter review.
Use older references. Also in the future if you find out early on that an employer is going to refuse a reference, it's time to move on.

Nannygal said...

Honestly what in your right mind possessed you to even do this job for $10 an hour- let alone "sticking it out" for 9 months- already knowing that the parents were unreasonable-cheap-petty- and most likely weren't going to give you a reference anyway?

Thats ridiculous- and a total disservice to yourself. You essentially let this family use and abuse you for that pathetically unprofessional rate and still expected them to come through? Girl live and learn!

Brenda K. Starr said...

It is so true what Fiona stated. Jobs are very hard to come by these days. I remember five years ago when I started working as a nanny in my area, I had many families respond to my CL ad. Now I never have any responses it seems and I have been out of work for months.

It's just the reality of life...that is all.

Aries said...

What were the many MANY issues?

'The issues were mainly personal' I'm sure the mother got over her sons Dentist appointment and i'm sure that isn't the reason she has refused to write you a refrence. And if so then that woman holds a mean grudge.

It's so hard to give legit advice when theres only one side to the story. You are paranoid for reasons none of us no.You assume she's the reason you keep getting turned down with jobs. What could she possibly say thats bad enough for others to not employ you? (what is she going to say, something like ''She is a horrible person, she wouldn't leave her finals, which are very important, to bring my son to an appointment that I didn't plan ahead of time an needed her last minute'')

There has to be something we're not hearing. Were you routinely late? alot of calling out? lazy? or is she just some miserable, spiteful, bitter woman?

Btw, have you tried googling your name an see what pops up? If she was to ever write about you on a blog or site an wrote your full name then you'd be able to see it on the search engine.

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

I disagree that there is only ONE side to every story out there.

Actually, there are THREE sides to every story.

Person #1 side, Person #2 side and the truth.

Phoenix said...

I don't know how you can tell a bad review. But what I would do it create a profile that you are an employer and see what she says.

That is sneaky but you have your job to think about

I don't know if that would benefit you or not. How can a mom give you bad revues?

i don't know that site, nor do I know what the expectant employers have access to over what the nanny does.

Phoenix said...

also why don't you try another site.

I'm sorry but it would be really fun to pretend you were a potential employer and call your references to see what they thought of you.

Dont be a retard and do it from a phone they can trace you at. Use the payphone

I don't think this is bad by any means. It will just verify which references and jobs you want to keep on your resume

ELam said...

If no bad review is showing up on your profile and you are not using her as a reference (which, duh, you shouldn't be) then you really have no reason to blame her for your lack of finding a job. It takes people months and months and months to find work in this economy. Especially when the majority families can't even afford to pay minimum wage.

MissMannah said...

Phoenix, parents have to pay to sign up with It is only free for nannies.

As for calling your references yourself, that is sneaky but I love it! I have always wanted to do something like that but never got the nerve up.

pillow said...

All for ten dollars an hour, because she didn't feel like she needed to pay me while I was sleeping.

If a parent told me they weren't going to pay while I was sleeping, I'd reply, "Oh, so I'm off duty while I sleep? OK I'll go sleep in a hotel/back at home. Be back in 8 hours!"

soup nazi said...

"Use the payphone" - I haven't seen a pay phone anywhere around in years.

MichiganMom said...

Um, call from a payphone and pretend to be someone else?? Are we in middle school?

I would recommend she call her previous employers, explain that she is looking for a new job, and ask if they would be willing to provide a great reference for her.