While Mom is Away, Dad and Nanny Play

opinion 1
I have recently been told some information of which I do not know what to do with. I have been with my family for 4 years and my charges Mums best friend has had her Nanny for about 10 months and over the last few months their Nanny and I have become fairly close and I see her almost every day at music classes, gym, art etc...

The other day this Nanny, lets call her K, told me something totally shocking. She has slept with the father of the kids she looks after over a dozen times! Her very married boss!!! She told me that he comes home during the day and they do it while the kids are asleep and she even told me that once they did 'things' at my charges birthday party in the garage!! I have met this man many many times and to me he seems totally nice, a good father, very loving with his wife and even loving to his wife in front of K... I do think she is telling the truth as she was in tears and telling me she is in love with him but he says it is a physical thing of which he just CANNOT HELP! Now for me. Who do I tell? Do I tell? My hubby had advised that I stay right out of it! The whole idea is awful, I don't know how K can do what she has been doing and risk undoing the family of the beautiful children she looks after. I get along great with my DB but would never in a million years cross that line simply for the love of my MB and the kids (oh and my darling hubby!) Advice please??


Nan said...

Ohhh boy, OP. That is a very awkward and sticky predicament. First of all can I just say SHAME ON THAT NANNY AND HER BOSS. I just...I can go on for days about how much that truly PISSES ME OFF.
I would stay out of it because it could get MESSY and you do not want to be in the middle of it. If you really feel as though you need to tell the MB then do it anonymously or something. i don't really know. I wish I had some stellar advice but I don't. I am sorry you are in this predicament...that MB has the right to know her husband and nanny are pieces of shit. Because he CAN HELP IT.

Magen said...

OP - here's what I would do. If that nanny is your friend, tell her to quit, find a new job, break all ties with her family. Otherwise, stay as far away as possible from the entire situation. If she thinks she is in love with this man, she either needs to step up and come clean, or quit and get away. As for you, its very unfortunate that she burdened you with this information. However, it is not your responsibility to expose her situation or involve yourself at all in her dirt. Also, my boyfriend believes this post is a fake and that the poster is only looking for attention. I see his point, because this post is very dramatic. I only offer my advice because I know that with my conscience, this scenario would be very burdensome. Best of luck!

MissDee said...

I. am. speechless. Let me get this straight. A nanny friend of yours (being that the MB's are friends) slept with her married boss and does it on a regular basis?

Speechless is an understatement. Loss of words is more accurate.

I agree with Nan. You do not want to get caught in the middle of this, because your MB's friend may take her anger out on everyone around her, including MB, who happens to employ you. Furthermore, the friend may take her anger out on you because you knew what was going and didn't speak up. I may be a little drastic here, but knowing what's going on and not speaking up about it could even result in MB resenting you and a job loss.

The best thing I can think of is to let the mother find out for herself. If there are signs of cheating (being preoccupied, leaving the room when the phone chirps with a text or call, not wanting intimacy, a change in diet or behavior, etc.) and MB's friend has a suspicion that he is cheating, her intuition will kick into overdrive and by fate she may come home early and catch the two of them in the act. Then she can see what a jerk he is (because he is!) and what a disgrace the nanny is. (Seriously Nanny K? DB is trying to have his cake and eat it too!!!)

My ex cheated on me, and my women's intutition wasn't wrong. I didn't confront him, I didn't accuse him. I didn't even try to catch him. Instead I let God take care of it, which He did. Karma is a bitch, and so am

Keep us posted....

OP said...

Op here -
This is certainly not fake or attention seeking. I simply do no know what to do. Yes it is dramatic and yes it sounds like something out of the bold and the beautiful!
Thanks for the advice so far. I must admit I said nothing to her at the time as I was shocked and really did not know what to say. I have kept my distance the last week, lucky I had a good excuse as my charges have had colds.
The thing is with me is that I would WANT to know if it was me. Can I really just ignore it and pretend when it comes out (as it no doubt will) that I knew nothing of it?
To be honest I think he is a pig for doing this and she is beyond immature in simply doing all of this to a family without a second thought.

Rottenbird said...

Nan- The only fake activity I see is your post. Who's boyfriend cares whats going on in the world of ISYN?

MissMannah said...

I completely agree with you: he is a pig and she is immature. Also, I would want to know if I was in that situation. However, I will agree with your husband and the PPs that you must stay out of this. You have to look out for yourself and you do not want any of this coming back on you. If K starts talking about the affair again, tell her you think they need to break it off ASAP, she should find a new job and you never want to hear another word about it. Also tell her that after all this is over, you will deny knowing a single thing about it so she can't put any blame on you. (though I don't think she would, but you never know)

Dr. Juris said...

Stay out of it, because the only thing that can result from you getting involved is being caught in the crossfire. Additionally, what your friend is doing is reprehensible, but the DB is the one risking undoing his family of beautiful children she looks after. You might want to advise her to get tested for STDs, since the way he put it, it sounds like he's nailing anything that moves and she might be at a heightened risk for venereal disease.

Susannah said...

I agree with your hubby. Stay out if it!

I would also not be so friendly with this nanny friend of your's and I'd definately tell her that you don't want to discuss the situation with her.

UmassSlytherin said...

Your hubby is wrong. You should march right up to this poor woman and tell her so that she can be allowed the information that her husband is being unfaithful.

I would not want to be friends with this nanny, OP. She's a slut and not a nice person to engage in behavior like this. And as far as the husband, he is a shitty husband and a shitty father to behave in such a way.

"Stay out of it?" Really? If you were in this situation, and your husband was fucking some chick, you would not want to know? I sure as hell would.

Katie said...

Having been in this situation before UMASS it is neer a good idea to get in the middle. Never.

Tell your friend she is wrong.

Refuse to discuss the matter with her. Don't cover for her etc

I might stop seeing her if possible.

Beezus said...

I used to have this friend who was at the very least "promiscuous". Coming from the south I was a little naive to mean girls in general and when I moved to NY I learned the state is just plain full of them. She was a nice girl but a terrible girlfriend. I knew one of the guys she was "seeing". He was 27 and had been dating his girl friend for 8 years. I was working in a grocery store and my friend worked across from me in a mini mall type thing. One second I see her, the next him following her to the store room. She came out about 20 minutes later crying and told me she had to go hang out with her Boyfriend. Later on that night I was going to the movies with my then boyfriend and the guy that my friend had just defiled. The sickening part of that night was that his girl friend came with. I had never met her before in my life, but I felt so terrible for her. The whole time during the movie she kept trying to hold his hands and cuddle, but he wouldn't even look at her and eventually she just gave up and stared straight ahead. Later that night I found her on Mspace,(it was kinda cool then) made a fake blank account and told her, leaving out names that he had cheated on her and that I felt terrible to let her know. She actually wrote me back and that she had suspected it for a while and was very thankful. I stopped hanging out with my friend as much and eventually she got the hint. She even told her boyfriend she cheated on him.Not sure why OPs post would be fake.

Phoenix said...

you stay the hell out of it. this is not your problem. if K came to you for advice you tell her that your advice is to quit the position and leave the husband alone. she can't control him but she can control herself.

now that being said...

you stay out of it. buuuuuuttt. strange anonymous letter leaver doesn't have to not be involved. what i would do is write a letter to give to the mom that says 'just so you know. there is a very delicate situation that you should be aware of. during a recent party i observed your husband with your nanny in the garage.'

that will make it seem like someone actually walked in and saw them without them knowing and you get to stay out of it. but you have to be sure that the mom gets the letter not the dad. so maybe find where the mom works and have it delivered there.

i do not like infidelity and i think that the people who are nasty enough to do this to someone should be taken out. it is not fair to the faithful spouse and the mom in this case looks like a damn fool and that isn't fair

Itdoeshappen said...

It happens!!! I work for a family of which the father had an affair with their ex nanny! The parents were able to work through it though.

I only found out as MB used to be super super weird about me being in the house with her husband. She would ask me what time he left/got home if she was not there for every minute that he was. She got all weird one day when I could not get on to her at work so I called DB instead! One day when DB was home sick I swear she called every 20minutes. I asked her if there was a problem and she broke down and told me the truth.

The ex nanny was given so much trust and MB adored her so not only did she have to deal with her husband betraying her I think the betrayal from the nanny who she considered to be part of the family was just as painful.

I have actually heard of another family who went through this as well. Poor Moms!!

I don't know why people on here ask if things are fake. Why would someone go to the effort on an online forum it does not get them direct attention at all. It would make people not want to ask advice so I think people should think twice about questioning OP's.

Penny said...

OP this is one tough pickle your have been thrown into! I am with Magen, stay out of it. When you next bump into her if the subject comes up which I am betting on since she has confided in you and is probably cracking at this point tell her to quit ASAP and change her number and get far from this family and guy! I would be honest, maybe it might put some sense in her blurred mind now and tell her though you feel bad that she is in a bad situation for everyone's sake your not comfortable associating with her anymore and that your friendship cannot continue. Be honest tell her that this situation can hurt many and all people who know and you want not part in the mess that can come out of it. Phoenix is right she can't control this guy but she can control herself. Good luck OP and keep us posted!

Aries said...

The fact that this joke of a nanny can't keep her mouth shut and is already blabbing her emotional distress to people (i'm sure you're not the only one. Unless ofcourse you have known her for a very long time, very close bff's) It is only a matter of time before Mama boss finds out. If not by you or someone else then by her instincts.(we all have them.)

The fact that she can do this to the children she watches mother just shows how selfish she is. She is only crying because he don't want her in the way that she wants him. He obviously wants his wife, she's just a side-piece.

Btw OP, do you no this woman the nanny works for? have you ever spoke to her?

UmassSlytherin said...

I would tell her. it is the right thing to do.

Yes, I have been involved in a situation like this and if others had done the right thing, it would have saved me from a horrible situation a lot sooner.

Boundaries (???) said...

First, the second that nanny opened her mouth I would have put up some professional boundaries by saying something like, "I hope you were joking just now, but in case you weren't, I'd like to ask you not to discuss this or similar situations with me."

However, since that didn't occur from the beginning, if I ran into the nanny friend again and she brought it up again I would say something to the effect of, "I really hope this is not really makes me uncomfortable and I think it is deeply immoral if it is true. Please do not discuss this situation with me any further...whether fictional or not."

Beyond that...I would STAY OUT OF IT.

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

Magen your boyfriend is probably saying it is fake because he probably would do the same thing if he could.

I know I will get flamed for saying this, but more men cheat than women. Most men are physically programmed to cheat even if they are happy with their spouses. Women cheat more for the emotional connection (whether real or imagined).

Anyway, what this Father is doing is shady to the maximum and makes me sick. But again, many men cheat and the wife probably has an idea this is going on and just bats a blind eye. She probably is staying with her husband for the children and financial security.

Stories like this are why I will never get married. I personally think it is just too hard for a man not to succumb to temptation. If a woman offers herself, he will take it, regardless of whether or not he is happy with his wife. It's life.

OP: You should stay out of it. As for whether or not you should stay friends with this Girl, that is entirely up to you. I have friends that do things I do not approve of, but I wouldn't terminate a friendship if a good friend told me she was sleeping with a married man. I wouldn't be too happy, I would just tell her I didn't want to discuss that situation with her.

I don't know how this Girl can go to work, do the Dad, then go home and sleep soundly at night. She sounds like she is young and naive, especially since she states she loves the guy. I think she needs to give notice and leave this family. By staying, she is only going to end up financially broke as well as emotionally broke since this man will not leave his wife. Most men don't. Yep..he has his main course and side dish/dessert every night. What a snake.

workingMom said...

"If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you"

OP, it is none of your business, and it is not your responsibility to tell that MB. For all you know, she may be relieved he isn't making as many sexual demands on HER anymore, because of this piece on the side (yes, there are women like that, too) and YOU would be seen as the bad guy for bringing the situation into the light.

I feel bad for Nanny K, because she is obviously naive and delusional. She will learn her lesson the hard way.

If I were you, I would follow the advice of many previous posters, and simply tell Nanny K that you don't approve, don't want to hear anymore about it, and would reduce the time I spent with her.

If you care about Nanny K's well-being, then also tell her point blank that she is just his very EASY fuck, and any fantasy she might be entertaining of their "star-crossed-lover's" syndrome is all in her head. She is being a fool, and the poster who mentioned her risk of STD's is right on. Sometimes we just can't face the truth until someone holds up a mirror right in front of our faces. Nanny K is hurting herself and needs to GROW UP.

Any time I encountered this DB, I would be very snotty to him. It would be good for him to know that not every little girl thinks he's the bomb.

Otherwise OP, go about your own business and do your job. Good luck.

Lyn said...

There is no way in heck I would tell my MB or my MB's bbesst friend about the affair. I'd write an anonymous letter. Create a fake facebook profile and message her from it. I'd rather send smoke signals from the safety of a near by park than to put my name into this conversation, haha! I think the other MB needs to know, but I don't know if I'd feel brave enough to tell her myself. You never know what a disgruntled Nanny can make up about the person who ratted her out. I think making a fake facebook profile or leaving an anonymous letter as difficult as those things would be to plan out, is your best bet! Please send in a update when you decide what your plans are!

Village said...

Stay out of it! No good can come of you interfering. Personally, I would stay FAR away from the nanny.

If you see her, you can tell her in the strongest terms how disappointed you are in her behavior, and tell her you don't wish to socialize with her anymore.

Claire Is said...

This is a toughy

1. I've been the one cheated on so part of me wants to say tell mom BUT I know full well had someone come to me at the time I wouldn't have believed them and lashed out at them.

So STAY OUT OF IT! Don't even do the anonymous stuff things can be easily traced back to you, and Nanny & dad can both lie Mom believe them and you look like you're trying to start shit.

2. You need boundaries with this friend of yours. Refuse to discuss the matter with her.

Keep as much distance from her as you possibly can.

Believe it when I and others tell you your job and possibly your career are on the line.

Some friend she is to drag you into her mess!

world's best nanny said...

I never thought I would agree with Phoenix, but she is straight on with this one. Stay the hell out of it!

Phoenix said...

Amy... um men and women cheat 50/50. There is no one sex that is more prone to cheating. it depends on the person. men brag about it more if they are cheaters but they are not more likely to cheat.

im sorry but you are wrong

Careful said...

I am all for telling but you have no proof. Not worth the risk.

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...


No offense, but if your husband had the chance to sleep w/Kim Kardashian, Megan Fox, etc...he would turn them down and say he couldn't because he was a married man.

What I mean to say is that if a man has the opportunity to sleep with another more attractive or sexier than his wife, and can knowingly get away with it, he WILL.

I don't know what this Nanny in the story looks like, perhaps she is less frumpy than his wife and he cannot say NO to her. He KNOWS he can get away with having sex with her.

Regardless...I think the guy is a creep. Majorly.

Phoenix said...

Kim Kardashian? holy cow. i just looked her up and she is exactly the same size I am. i just have a bigger bra size. i thought she was tall. People think I'm tall because of my measurments and my 5 in heels I wear. but we are the same weight and height

Interesting the things you find out

Lyn said...

......hahahahahahahahahaha.... kay, I'm done now... hahahahahahahaha

Phoenix said...

that is so funny that i used to make fun of that girl and i am her stupid same size except for that one factor. never would have learned that if it wasn't for Amy mentioning it. The days keep on getting stranger. guess i need a new target to launch my assaults.

UmassSlytherin said...

If I was a guy, I would never cheat on Phoenix. For the simple reason I'd be freaking scared to. She would kick their ass.

But seriously, maybe I'm naive but I still believe in love. I have never cheated on anyone. If I had the chance to cheat on my fiance with Michael Pitt, I would not do it. Or Aquaman. Even him, I wouldn't sleep with.

I like the idea of creating a fake facebook page to tell the Mom. She needs to be told. I do not agree at all with working mom who said that perhaps the woman is glad to not have so many sexual demands. Unless she is retarded, she would not want to be exposed to an STD.

MissMannah said...

Amy, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You really think ALL men will cheat on their wives given the chance? I can only assume you think like this because you have been hurt badly in the past, and for that I am deeply sorry. I hope you do find a good man who will treat you well someday. One you can trust completely will never cheat on you.

Umass...Michael Pitt? Fugly! Give me Jude Law...I've heard he has a penchant for nannies...LOL

Phoenix said...

but no. women are not less prone to cheat than men. That is not a gender characteristic.

a man cheats because he wants to. if a man is presented with an opportunity to cheat with a woman he finds "more attractive" than his wife that is a decision that he controls not one that he does automatically because the opportunity presented itself.

i dont know what it feels like to be cheated on and i never will. i do think that men have a bad rap for being the cheaters. Women cheat too and its not just cuz of emotional reasons. its cuz they want to have sex and they enjoy the chase as well.

so its not because this nanny is more attractive or the wife was not attentative. It was because the man just wanted to have sex. Period

UmassSlytherin said...

I like Jude Law. He is wicked hawt. I think Michael Pitt is beautiful.
Miss Mannah, want to read some of my fan fiction? I'll totally link you.

Phoenix said...

yeah and the scary factor is there. I remember once when I was first with my husband before we were married my husband and i were fighting, it was heated. i think we were doing the "get out" "fuck you" thing. I told him ok, if you kick me out I'm going to rent the house that is across the street and watch every single day and if you bring anyone home I will go postal.
He has a joke on the fridge now that he found online that says, "if you break up with a redhead and she pitches a tent on your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital. She's yours." LOL. seriously though, google redhead jokes, they are all true.
My husband is also scarier than shit. If i were to cheat on him he would kill me. Not ha-ha. I mean i would literally cease to breathe and he would take out everything and everyone that I know. Hes more dangerous than I am. if you can believe it, he is worse than i am. Even in his views. You think i argue? He's the man that broke me and humbled me. He is worse, way worse.

UmassSlytherin said...

I totally believe you, Phoenix. lmfao I mean, I really am starting to believe everything you say. :) lol

Alicia B said...

Michael Pitt is gorgeous, and so is Jude Law.

If I were either of their nannies, I'd be all on that if they offered.

This situation is pretty crappy all around, but I have to agree anonymous tip is the way to go if you HAVE to do something. That's probably what I would do in the situation.

UmassSlytherin said...

I met Michael Pitt. I stalked him and his sub par garage band in nyc a couple of years ago. I like, totally struck out. His fashion model gf Jamie Bochert was there, wrecking everything. I didn't even get a chance to show him my Murder by Numbers fan fiction. but he did sign my Pagoda cd.

Brielle said...

Phoenix, , you probably hate reality TV ( as I do) but I'd have to say I'd change beliefs if I could watch you in action. You seem to have an interesting life.

I can truly understand the urge to tell. I wouldn't do it. Even anonymously. I'm not sure how anonymously you would be able to do it things have a way of being traced back. If that happens I gurantee you your nanny friend and her DB will lie and you will be screwed.

Which brings me back to things having a way of coming out on their own.

Brielle said...

Not all men cheat even when given the chance.

Some women know their SO is a cheat and do not care. They turn a blind eye to it for whatever reason.

I know someone who did just that. She was happy being the wife and having access to the status and money her husband's position gave her and she didn't care what he did on the side.

Bethany said...

Can you handle the possibility of one or both moms lashing out at you?

Can you handle the possibility of your "friend" making YOU out to be a liar?

Can you handle "friend" making your life hell?

Can you handle being fired?

Can you handle not telling and letting things play out?

IMO there is no such thing as an anoymous tip.

If you can I would distance myself from this nanny.

IMO this will come out sooner rather than later because this nanny can't keep it to herself. She's already become "messy" and I'm sure she & her DB will soon be caught red handed.

The Devil said...

Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.

We often act to make ourselves feel better about ourselves but it does nothing for those involved.

You're not saving her any hurt. The hurt and etrayal is already there . It's just a matter of timing of her realizing the hurt.

Fiona said...

What do you think you will accomplish by telling?

What will be made right or avoided by her hearing from you anoymously or otherwise?

Please tell us what you decide to do and the outcome

Phoenix said...

LMFAO - it is honestly not the first time i was told i should have a reality tv show. i would so do it. As much as i dont like reality tv i would do it.

i never liked crap like jersey shore or whatever kardashian show they have. i always liked the kardashian clothing line. and now that i know kim and i have exactly the same measurements, im just a tad bigger in the chest i know that her clothes will fit me. i will for sure go look at their clothes now. i love the cheetah print. i always loved it even before it became popular. im going to get leopard prints tattooed across my back. i already have 4 cat paw prints as a tramp stamp.

the kind of shows i watch i guess would be considered some what reality. like america's next top model, ghost adventures, apprentice, ax-men, swamp men and educational stuff like discovery health. but i love comedy. stand up is my fav but i watch stuff like workaholics, modern family, 30 rock, parks and recreation, reno 911. i do watch stuff like borgias and true blood too.

sorry that was a lot of useless information about me :/

another reason i like coming here too is that i don't speak to other women that often. i am so busy all the time that it is almost an outlet for me to talk about nonesense and have fun and hopefully be helpful at times. LOL

but yes, UMass, I have no reason to lie. My life is interesting enough and i honestly couldnt make up the shit that happens to me. LOL. i have nothing really to hide. I just have an ultra fiery personality

wtf said...

Phoenix you are the weirdest person...ever. I just...I don't even....why did you tell us 3 different times you are the same size as Kim K? 3 times. We get it. COOL!! Maybe you should call Kim and tell her yourself!!!!!!

Brielle said...

I'll admit I watched Top Model the first season or two and American Idol the same amount of time. I've given up on both. I actually don't watch much TV anymore.

You seem to be a very interesting person. Every posting you comment on is always entertaining/

MissMannah said...

Bethany, I couldn't have said it better myself. I 100% agree with you.

UMass, why not? Send it my way! I can't promise I will like it or appreciate it but I do enjoy reading.

Phoenix, I used to say my life would make a good reality show but then I realised I was creating most of my drama for myself. After meeting my husband and settling down, I'm a lot more boring. I don't really watch any TV now--and I hate reality shows with a passion. Though I am addicted to True Blood. Can't wait for season 5 next month!

Britney said...

I have to agree that many men will cheat if given the opportunity. They can be dating or married to the most beautiful woman, yet if the opportunity presents itself and they know they will not get caught, they will go ahead and do it. So many beautiful women have been cheated on that I feel like us mere mortals have no chance at true love anymore. I.e., Christie Brinkley, Halle Berry, Sienna Miller, etc.

UmassSlytherin said...

Phil Phillips from american idol is hawt stuff.

OP said...

My boss said this to me today - "if you know what I am talking about, S knows about K"...

So I guess doesn't care???

Thanks for the advice, I am going to have a proper chat to my MB tomorrow when kiddies are not around for a few hours. I have decided to go the staying out of it path. I am going to say to MB that K did tell me but to be honest I did not think she was serious.

Gosh I do not know what is goinh to happen now but I guess it is not my business!!

Beezus said...

Just finished Six Feet Under. One of the best TV shows ever.

Sorry I just feel like I have to tell everyone :)

UmassSlytherin said...

which is it: are you staying out of it or having a chat?
I'm confused.

UmassSlytherin said...

Beezus, just out of curiosity, could you please list all other monikers you have used on this website?

OP said...

I am staying out of it but want to explain to my MB that I have not known for long and that I want to make it clear that I do not support K at all and think it is totally not on. I want to say this to my MB.

Bethany said...

Oh geez,OP!

I don't envy you one bit. This sitution is a mess. Chock full of drama.

I don't think I'd even chat to MB about it. Everyone knows so everything else is just drama and gossip.

Sounds like you've got your real life Wisteria Lane going on.

MissMannah said...

Uh, "having a chat" with your MB is not staying out of it. It is essentially putting your nose back into it. Boundaries, anybody?

Village said...


Stay out of it. You will probably lose your job over this. It's unlikely your MB will even believe you.

Don't get into others sex lives. It's NONE of your business.

Beezus said...

I'm pretty sure I've stayed being BEEZUS. What's your problem?

Phoenix said...

i said that kardashian thing but it was a shocker to me. I made fun of that girl a lot. and then i read she said she's 117 pounds. WTF, no she's not. She's gotta weigh as much as I do. It was just a shock to me. i honestly thought she was taller than that.

I luv America's next top model. My dad does photography. I've been trying to get my sister to go on that show. but she is too shy.

I read a lot tho. I read novels in a weeks time. That is why I'm writing one. I think it'd be fun.

OP, I too have to point out that discussing the topic with your MB is not staying out of the mess. That is creating the drama and in fact it is pulling your MB into the mix. Now your MB is going to be in the same situation you were in. should she tell her friend or not? That is not fair to your boss at all. YOu shouldn't put her in that position. What do you want her to tell you? And don't you think when/if your MB talks to her friend she wont tell her that she heard the information from you?

If you talk to your MB not only are you not staying out of it you are dragging another bystander into the mix.

oh well said...

Did your MB say to you "S knows about K"? Why on earth would she drag you into this? If S is her friend, then she should handle it.
Wisdom here for you should be: See nothing, Hear nothing, Say nothing.
If you boss knows, the truth is going to come out at some point. Please do not get involved into this, you have a job to think of.
Also, I don't think this can be said quite enough: that dad is a creep.

Katie said...

Yeah! I'd start looking for another job. These people sound nuts and way too much drama that they seem hellbent on involving you in.

Village said...

One more thought. You work for these people. They are not your friends. You are a paid employee. When they are not paying you, you won't see them anymore. Sometimes it's hard to understand that MB & DB are your employers, and that's all they will ever be.

**There are some nannies that stay in lifetime contact with their families, but it's a small percentage, and often after an unusually long tenure, like raising the children.

UK Nanny said...

First time I've posted, new to this! OP, I agree with the majority here. Do. Not. Get. Involved. it's not your business. Why is your boss even talking to you about this? You say you're staying out of it, talking about this with your boss is the exact opposite of staying out of it. Is this really worth risking your job over?

ericsmom said...

I agree stay out of it. What do you really have to offer to the conversation, anyway. Okay so now others know whats going on. Really nothing more for you to say about the subject. I feel like this is a personal issue for this family to deal and work out on their own. Please don't add any gossip or drama to the situation. You know since your boss is good friends with this mother she will tell her everything you said. Do you really want to get dragged in?

Aries said...

Amy Darling - I agree with you about men cheating more then woman. And the reasons you've stated. And every single 'study' that was conducted said that men cheat more. They are programmed differently and people who say men and woman cheat, it's true but men rate alot higher then woman when it comes to affairs and infidelity. It's not 50/50.
(And i didn't need to read any studies or 'stats', I already knew this was the case, lol.)

Amber said...

Does Phoenix really think that if her husband had a chance to sleep with Kim Kardashian or Megan Fox and get away with it that he wouldn't?????? That he would say, "I love my wife and do not want to hurt her..."

C'mon now.

Nanny S said...

If it were me, I would do nothing. It is not me and it is not the family I work for. I would stay as far away from that situation as possible and make sure to not be too "close" this nanny. I would personally look down on someone's character not only for having an affair with a married man, but for being in his home with his wife and children while doing it. At the same time, it is neither my business nor personal life so I would not feel responsible to do anything.

UmassSlytherin said...

I don't think Phoenix's husband would cheat on her. I really don't think he would.

What was the point of your comment? It was unkind. Do you enjoy being mean?

Phoenix said...

Amber...the same name as my little sister. And she's an idiot too.

no my husband would NOT cheat on me. His aunt was a model in the 80's and she dated Prince. He even has a poem/song Prince wrote for him. The point of that being he has been around beautiful women his entire life. He doesn't get phased by hottness. He, like me, can see beauty and comment on it but that is about as far as it goes. I could trust my husband in a room full of naked pretty women who are trying to sit on him. I'm sorry no one else has that kind of trust. Maybe my husband is an advanced species of a man but i know for 100% he doesn't get lead around my his cock. Most of his friends are and they cheat on their wives. But my husband's loyalty and trust has never been tarnished. I've even had women "claiming" and he went to go pick his little cousin the other day and this one girl who has been on his jock for years. sprayed perfume all over my car so she could get him in trouble. LMFAO. Women just don't understand how someone can be loyal. Outside beauty isn't the end of it.

Maybe one day you will find a man like I have. He cooks and cleans and pays the bills. i got incredibly incredibly lucky. But he can also be an asshole so he has to make up for it other places. LOL. but just as I can say I KNOW that I will remain loyal he will as well. His first wife cheated on him so he knows the pain that causes and he would never do that to anyone. Not only that if he was going to sleep with other people he would just tell me. He has a glitch where he thinks he doesn't need to lie. He would walk in and say I'm fucking someone else and there would be nothing I could to about it.

How is it that this turned into people bashing my husband? That is a personal insult to his character and one that a lot of women make. So here's a thought. How about thinking that men do NOT cheat more than women, but women just ASSUME they do.

Tiffani said...

It seems it is always the women who are married or in a relationship that say men are not cheaters. Ask the single ladies and they believe the opposite.

I think Amber is out of line and mean, but agree that any man who had a chance to sleep with another woman would do so if they could keep it on the down low. I have never met a man who didn't cheat. Sorry.

Anyways, a true friend is someone who knows EVERYTHING about you, yet likes you anyway.
I have some friends who have certain beliefs and/or behaviors that are not similar to mine...yet I still choose to maintain the friendship. I am sure my friends who know EVERYTHING about me don't 100% approve of everything I may say or do, but they are loyal enough to remain my friend.

True friendship is unconditional guys.

While I think it is shameless what this Nanny is doing, I don't think OP should just abandon her as a friend.

Phoenix said...

ok here is the difference.

Little boys who can't keep their word will cheat.

Men who are dedicated and value love with their woman won't cheat.

Seems to me most you guys have never dated a man.

To say that EVERY man will cheat if they get away with it is like saying every woman is a scandelous back stabbing bitch. Most of them are but there are some who don't fit the mold.

I hate extremists. this blog seems to be filled with suicide bombers

MissMannah said...

"I have never met a man who didn't cheat."

WTF? I guess you don't know very many people or else all the relationships you've been in have been fucked up. Sucks for you. I'll say the same thing I said to the last person who said that all men cheat: I really hope you find a good, trustworthy man someday. But if you continue life with this sort of attitude, I doubt you ever will. Good men are out there, and there's a lot of them! You just have to open your eyes, and your heart, to find them.

I sound like a Hallmark card. But it is true. I know with 100% certainty that my husband would never cheat on me, even if he was alone with Hilary Duff. (I don't know why he thinks she is hot, LOL. But he hates Kim K.) And having experienced first-hand what it is like to cheat on someone and break their heart, I would never do it to him. Yes, I've done it and yes I've been cheated on as well. Two different relationships, but let me tell you, being the cheater sucks so much more than the one who was cheated on. That is, if you have a conscience and actually feel bad about what you've done.

Tabs said...

Phoenix, I agree with your last post except the "little boy" part. They're not called "little boys", they're called "dogs".

UmassSlytherin said...

There are men out there who will be faithful. I have always believed that when I was single and now that I'm not.

UK Nanny said...

"Men who are dedicated and value love with their woman won't cheat" Well said Phoenix!

LOL said...


Alot of men do cheat. And the ones that dont would probably given the chance so instead they lock themselfs in rooms and lookup porn. You'll notice this if he stops sleeping with you.


Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Regarding what I think of men....and cheating...

Nah..better keep my mouth shut on this one.

Next!! ►

Nanny Amelia said...

I found this post as I was looking for help to get out of a situation I've found myself in. I've been with my "family" for 3 years now and have been in hell the past 8 months because the Dad started inviting himself into my bed. My situation is a bit different as I work nights and weekends and vacations etc. for this family. It started on a vacation and after an evening in and a few drinks, normal practice for them to ask me to join them. While not out of control I went to bed with a healthy buzz and a few hours later he helped himself into my room and I was so shocked I didn't know what to do except say I didn't want to but he was too far into his liquor to care. Long story short I'm almost certain mom knows that night happened and I've tried to tell her he now makes a habit of being a sick asshole helping himself to what he feels he's providing for so should have access to. I'm not in love with him but I would die before I ruined these children's lives and I'm afraid of them losing me, I'm afraid of her hating me for being too scared to aggressively refuse him, I've fallen into path of least resistance but it's eating me. I know it'll never end well for anyone but I wish there was a way to make it all go away. He's the only one who won't be hurt because his wife won't leave. Shell suffer the storm, but I'll not work in the community again and it's not fair. I don't encourage him, I avoid as many overnights as I can , my BF is welcome and I have him come when he can so dad can't come in. Anyway I guess what I am saying is your friend K is purposefully doing something wrong and she will end up getting nothing because in the end we are the help. Period. No matter how much a part of the family we become when the storm thunders they will close ranks and we'll always be left in the rain on our own.