Wednesday

Condolences

opinion 1
I had been offered and accepted a job caring for a newborn due in June. I just learned the family lost the baby and I will not be needed. Has anyone ever been in this situation before? Did you do anything for the family? Also I am out of a job, the job with my current family ends next week. I was to leave anyway because I primarily care for infants and toddlers and my charge now will be in school and having a nanny part time more geared towards his age. I'm not sure if they've hired someone yet. Should I ask for my job back until I get a new placement?

11 comments:

Blythe said...

I think it would be nice to send a note expressing your condolences, and perhaps some flowers (or a donation made to a charity, if you know of one that they particularly support). How very sad.

In terms of the current family-- I think it depends very much on your relationship with them. I don't think it would be weird or unprofessional to explain the circumstances, and compare notes on where they are. It may benefit you both for you to stay on a few more weeks... or it may not, and they can let you know.

I'm so sorry this has happened!

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

I think it would be a good idea to contact your former family ASAP since they may already be looking for a new Nanny. They surely will understand..it's not like you did anything wrong.

How sad about the other family. A thoughtful card for their loss would be a nice thought on your part.

Phoenix said...

whatever you do don't say something stupid like, god giveth and god taketh away. that is the most ignorant thing to say to someone. Also don't say, "i know how you feel." If it hasn't happened to you, you don't know how they feel.

The best thing to say to someone is, that you are sorry and that you will be there for support if they need it (even if you won't) and even if you dont know them well at all just saying that eases people.

Village said...

'I am so sorry for your loss' is concise and to the point. I wouldn't get a card. I would use stationery and keep it short.

Yes, ask for your job back while you search for another.

I need a break said...

Wow, for once I agree with Phoenix.

anon mom said...

Thank you for your comment Phoenix.

The worst thing ever said to me when my newborn died (and I know it was innocent, they just didn't know how to respond) was: "Don't worry, you'll be able to have another one again some day."

My shocked reply: "Yes, but I wanted THIS one!"

It took a long while for me to get over the hurt but I finally realized that most people just don't know what to say, feel awkward, and end up spewing something really pathetic and sad.

The best thing to say is a simple: "I'm sorry."

Kind Words said...

I think a nice card and flowers would be a kind gesture.

I think you could offer to stay at your current position if the family would like.

Linda said...

This did happen to me once. Only the baby died of SIDS when he was a few days old. He was scheduled to be in my in-home daycare when he was 6 weeks old. The couple lived a few streets over from us. It was so sad. I think a card would be appropriate.

Bethany said...

How very sad and heartbreaking!

That is one reason I always cringe when I see ads from parents seeking nannies before baby's birth. I guess I'm supersttious that way.

A simple note expressing your condolences would be nice.

It can't hurt to ask your family if they would keep you on a bit longer.

Good luck!

♥ Amy Darling ♥ said...

I personally do not consider Nanny positions where the Mother is still pregnant since I know a trillion things could happen before her due date.

This is a sad example. :(

I feel so bad for this couple.

MissMannah said...

That is so sad. OP, I agree you should send a note to the grieving parents expressing your sorrow for their loss. You also can call your current boss and ask if you can keep working for them awhile longer. If you explain the situation, I'm sure they'd be understanding.

I accepted my current position while my boss was still pregnant. She offered me the job on Thanksgiving and her due date was Dec 5th. Well the 5th came and went and I didn't hear anything from her and I started freaking out. C was finally born Dec 11th but they didn't call and tell me about it until the 15th and I was worried beyond belief--I had already emailed and called a couple of times. It is risky to accept a position before the baby is born because you just never know what could happen.