The Panda Mom’s Manifesto

guest column Written by, DaddyConfidential
Oh man. Tiger Mom was back in the news last week. Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother will be a year old on Wednesday. The book made quote-unquote Western parents feel inadequate for not being impossibly demanding – of their children and themselves.

Most people who read Tiger Mother will find it easy to despise Chua. She is uncompromising, judgmental, fairly bodacious, and enviably successful. By contrast, most parents feel compromised, judged, tired, and struggling.

Tiger Mother has even spawned copycats (and a plethora of lame-ass feline puns). Witness the Corlin twins from Hong Kong: self-described judo champs, chess dynamos, accomplished sailors and straight-A students. (They sound to me like prime candidates for a wedgie.)

The ten year-old fraternal twins have written The ROAR Of the Tiger Cubs, which is basically their Harvard application in book form. The title alone is so self-aggrandizing that with clear conscience, I can openly pray they die virgins.

Well, it’s a new year and that calls for a new parenting paradigm. 2011 was rough on 99% of us, so I’m encouraging parents to give themselves a break. This year, let’s indulge, relax, and goof off. Not 24/7, mind you. I’m not advocating that you abdicate all parenting responsibility. Just don’t lose sight of the fact that kids are supposed to be fun. They’re also supposed to have fun.

How shall we codify this easygoing approach? I’m calling it, The Panda Mom’s Manifesto.
Please click the above link to read the rest of this Article and others cleverly written by one Dad's point of view.


Jedd Meir said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CaliCo said...

No one should feel intimidated by Tiger Mom. I heard that while she has been keeping those cubs in line, Tiger Dad has been on the prowl.

Rebecca Lubin said...

Hi Jedd,

Actually the readers of ISYN are always greatly encouraged to submit their writing, be it as a sighting, a rant, an essay, A Day in the Life, or a Guest Column.
I see from your profile that you are a writer. Perhaps you would like to submit something for all of us to enjoy? I can see from your comments that you have a great way with words.

Jedd Meir said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
FormerJerseyNanny said...

I have to disagree with Jedd and say that I think it is a nice addition to have a guest column!

Nanny E said...

I am sooo a Panda Mom-100%! I like my easygoing style of parenting, I think it works well for me daughter. Like the Tiger Mom kids, I had very strict parents, and it didn't help me at all. I ended up having a nervous breakdown in college, because I just couldn't deal with the stress.

I love amy said...

I love Amy Chua. She is so honest about realizing that she was too hard on her kids. But at least she admits that her parental model wasn't effective on both kids. I think she is amazing and we can learn from her- not by doing things the same way but by teaching children that success takes hard work and a life time of commitment. I plan on raising my children very similar.

Phoenix said...

I don't understand why parents aren't able to find that happy balance between tiger mom and panda mom, what would that be? I don't really think pandas are all that nie anyway. They attack people, they are bears after all. I think they are more prone to eating their young that a tiger would be.
The fact that people think kids are to be kids is correct but some parents take that too far and their kids are spoiled little brats that I hope someone pegs with their car. They are mean to their parents. Have mom's given up? Why do they think their kids deserve everything? Why can't they tell Timmy to shut up, sit down, be nice, don't hit? Or Susie really isn't the greatest most precious thing on the planet. Fact is the generation of kids coming up now is shocking. Not everyone deserves a trophy. Not everyone is the winner. What happens when these brats grow up and expect to be awarded for everything they do? That is not how the world works. So what I think is that no parent should just be a monster or a pussy. I think it depends on the kid. Some kids need a good swat upside the head and others need a gentle coaxing to be more productive. I think parenting should stop becoming a competition between moms. guess what? The mom is not who is important. I don't give a dam about the parents. It is what the kid is going to turn into. So maybe if the moms would stop paying attention to eachother and start parenting thier kids, the next generation might stand a chance. Because if they don't start acting right, the people in my generation are going to start taking them out of the game before they have a chance to start.

Phoenix said...

***nice*** pandas are not ***nice***

MissMannah said...

"I don't understand why parents aren't able to find that happy balance between tiger mom and panda mom, what would that be?"

In a word...realistic. That's how most people around here are.