Monday

Is This You?

warning
I just saw this disturbing post on another site called UrbanBaby.com. There is a MomBoss who is considering firing her nanny, and I think the nanny deserves to know what her employer thinks of her. Here's the story:

The MB was at a funeral on Sunday, January 8th. The nanny came in to work so her MB could go to said funeral. Part of the nanny's job is to walk the dog (an old black lab/shepherd mix). The nanny went to put the leash on the dog to take it outside, and the dog bit her. The nanny cleaned herself up and took the dog out, but when the MB returned home, the nanny told her about it and said she would no longer be able to walk the dog. The MB doesn't think she should do anything to make sure her dog is not a danger (even to her own children!). She doesn't think it's the dog's fault. She is planning to fire the nanny if the nanny will not walk the dog any longer. She also speaks very rudely to the other posters when they tell her how out-of-line she is, and demonstrates how little she thinks of nannies. Her words and attitudes are extremely telling.

If this is your MB, you deserve a MUCH better work environment!!

33 comments:

MissMannah said...

I know this is not going to win me any friends here, but we do not know the whole story here. The MB probably knows this dog better than anybody else and knows how to handle it. If she thinks her dog is safe, I'm inclined to believe her. We don't know how the nanny was handling the dog, she might have been very rough with it, or snuck up behind it and scared it. OP said specifically that the dog is old, so it is probably going deaf or blind and you have to be aware of this when dealing with it.

It is a little hasty for MB to say she is going to fire the nanny but she is either blowing smoke or just a bad boss. If it is #1 then they can sit down together and work something out. If it is #2 then the nanny is better off anyway. However, I think it is rather presumptuous of the nanny to say she is not going to walk the dog anymore, considering it is one of her duties. I'm only assuming it is in her contract, and if the nanny was inexperienced with dogs maybe she shouldn't have agreed to walk it in the first place.

Jedd Meir said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CaliCo said...

I don't think it's a good idea to start posting reactions to posts on other sites here. The original poster would not be available to comment nor would we be able to keep up with followup posts unless we went back and forth.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Judd as an animal lover, I choose to ignore your mean comment about doggies. :(

If a dog bit me, for whatever reason, I would not walk it anymore. Same goes for a child. LOL. It's just common sense.

I think it is dumb when people have their Nannies walk their dogs along with doing childcare. C'mon..caring for a pooch is a whole different job. The only way I would do so is if I was being paid extra for it. It's no fun walking a dog with a young child, then picking up after them, then going home and changing a diaper, etc...

I have had many families ask me if I would be willing to walk their dog for them along with childcare and I respond only if I was paid more. You would be surprised at the way they react. As if!!

CaliCo said...

This was the OP's post:
"WWYD? Nanny came over today to watch dd while I went to a funeral. While I was at the funeral, nanny went to leash up the dog (old black lab/ shepard mix) when the dog bit her hand. Even though it did break the skin, she barely has two scratches. I offered to pay for her to go to the doctors to get it looked at but she said it wasn't bad. Now she refuses to walk the dog at all. Should I hire a dog walker now or tell her she has to walk the dog or she is fired?" She is asking WHAT WOULD YOU DO: hire a dog walker OR require the nanny to walk the dog? I think she is being unfairly maligned here.

MissMannah said...

Two cents, you honestly would not care for a child anymore if he or she bit you?? I can't even tell you how many times I've been bitten by children! Maybe I just misunderstood what you were saying.

Cali, thanks for posting that. I think it is obvious that no matter which route the MB takes, she will be hiring an outside dog walker...I don't know why she doesn't see that. Like I said before, I am assuming the nanny agreed to walk the dog as per her contract, and like Two cents said, I would only do so if I was getting paid more to do it. So logically, if the nanny refused to do it anymore, she should get her pay docked now in order for MB to pay for a dog walker.

CaliCo said...

I don't think the nanny should have her pay docked to get a dog walker unless the nanny was warned that the dog might bite prior to agreeing to walk the dog as part of her responsibilities. I love dogs but once a dog bites or tries to bite me, I will not handle that dog again.

Phoenix said...

I had a young German Sheppard/Rotti. He was the nastiest thing on the planet. Like can you say Sandlot anyone? He would literally bite anyone he didn't know. He would ram my gate when people would walk by. He bit me once when I was walking him because he tried to attack a jogger and his leash caught him. He was trying to bite the leash but bit me instead. Once when the kids were playing outside he stood at my back door and growled at the kids not letting them back into the house. He was a dangerous dog! I didn't have the heart to get rid of him because I knew he would be put down. He got bit by a scorpion and died but it was almost a blessing. It could be this dog will not bite the kids, only someone he doesn't know. But the nanny could sue her if she isn't careful. This mom is really stupid if she thinks she can fire a nanny because she has an aggressive dog. What a bitch

MissMannah said...

Phoenix, a Rotti is an aggressive breed and is going to attack, especially if he hasn't been trained not to. This family has a lab/shepherd mix and they usually aren't aggressive. Labs are very sweet dogs and Shepherds can be protective against strangers but will calm down once they get to know someone.

I am obviously a big-time animal lover, which is why for the most part I do agree with the mom that it wasn't the dog's fault that he bit the nanny. He was probably scared. But you're right, the nanny can sue--unfortunately anyone can sue if they get bitten by a family animal. I hope that doesn't happen because more than likely the family would have to have the poor dog put down. My husband went through something very similar years ago when his family dog bit a neighbor kid, who was pulling on her neck so she was scared and bit him out of self-defense but they were still forced to put her down. :(

StrawberryShortKakes said...

I am not a dog lover, never have been. I babysit here and there for a family with 2 boys and they have a dog. Honestly, the dog is more work than the kids! It's always trying to jump on me, lick me, and it even bites me! The bites don't break skin but they still hurt. Not to mention the fact that I leave with dog hair all over me. Gross. Luckily I only babysit here and there; I would never nanny for a family that has a dog. I just am not comfortable around them. If I was this nanny and the dog just bit out of no where (wasn't startled) I would probably say I wasn't walking the dog anymore.

The MB obviously loves the dog; people get so attached to their animals and that's fine. However, I hate when people think that just because they love their dog/cat/hamster/etc then everyone else should. Not the case at all. I bet this lady can find a dog walker for cheap and be done with it. Not everyone is comfortable around dogs and this lady doesn't need to be so uptight about it.

Trixie Belden said...

Miss Mannah, you may choose to put up with a child biting you, but I wouldn't. I refuse to let a child abuse me and would be out the door within seconds if I was bit.

Us caregivers deserve respect!

Jedd Meir said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DC nanny said...

I have a dog who is like my child. She bit me once inadvertently when I got between her and another dog who had attacked her. I still have a nice scar on my hand from it. I know that she would never purposefully bite me or anyone else, because I know her.

That being said, this mother shouldn't even be considering firing this nanny unless walking the dog is something that she agreed to and is written in her contract.

Dog care and child care are completely different things, and just because a family chooses to have a pet, that doesn't mean that the nanny of the family is automatically responsible for taking care of it. And if my dog ever bit someone, regardless of the reason, I would never expect them to feel comfortable caring for her.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

On a personal level, I wouldn't want to be responsible for both someone's child and someone's beloved pet. It would be too stressful. Imagine if we went to the park and while I was tending to the child, the dog bit a child or ran away. It would ALL be on me.

I cannot stand it when families slyly ask me if I can walk the dog along with their child.

hmmm said...

um, getting bit by a dog is NOT a normal part of anyone's work day. and just cause it's a lab shepherd mix does NOT mean it's not capable of aggression. rottweilers are herding dogs too, and guard as much as shepherds, no more. i get really annoyed when people act like labs and golden retrievers don't even know how to be aggressive.

annoyed by this woman and annoyed that anyone would thing you should be bit and put up with it.

i am a HUGE dog person, but the terrier at my one job would snap at me and their son when the parents were out and the parents acted like I was provoking it. the dog knew it's bosses were away and was being a dick.

Phoenix said...

Actually all my sheppards have been more aggressive than my other dogs. I have a pit mix and he's the sweetest thing in the world. German Sheppards are the sneak attack dogs, usually they don't growl before they bite. Which was what Loki would do. I grew up with both breeds. Labs can be aggressive too, it all depends on how the nanny was treating him. And if he was old that probably played a huge factor. But if a dog bit me whether or not I felt it was my fault I wouldn't walk it either.

I'm not a dog fan at all. I like cats. I have an attack kitty! I bottle fed him from 2 weeks old so he is my baby. I was sitting on the couch one day and my man was playing around with me and I shrieked and my cat jumped out of the window landed in my lap and hissed at tried to attack my husband. It was really cute! (Not for my husband) I've never seen a cat do that before. He also does that if any of the other cats show aggression towards me. Moran to my rescue!

And ALL dogs can be aggressive. The only dog that ever attacked my husband was a Beagle. He used to be a courier and would walk into people's yards with "guard" dogs. They would all let him go through. Except that one nasty beagle, who was owned by a cop. Ass wouldn't even take responsibility his dog was dangerous just cuz of the breed. Shiloh wouldn't dare do such a thing!

chrstine said...

I had a black lab/shepperd mix and she never would have bit a person on purpose... dogs she hated- not people. I have a pure bred chocolate lab and he wouldn't hurt a fly either. He's just too dumb to be mean. I did have a mean dog and I knew he was mean... I finally put him down after he bit my husband. So, chances are this woman knows her dog. The dog is old and probably was startled. Obviously he didn't hurt her and a dog will hurt if they want to.

That being said, I don't blame the nanny for being wary... it's natural to be afraid of being bit. Self preservation, I think.

Phoenix said...

chocolate labs are dumb because that chocolate color is a retardation. That is not natural. It comes from interbreeding. Like white tigers are not natural. Most white tigers are bred in captivity and it usually comes from a grandfather breeding with a granddaughter. Most litters are too deformed and they are put down. It isn't wise to buy chocolate dogs. They are not normal. You are lucky yours is docile. Some are a little more aggressive because they are retarded. My husband's mother had a chocolate spaniel that was mean because he was special ed.

Phoenix said...

ooops I used the term not normal.

MissMannah said...

Trixie, you obviously don't know much about toddlers and their development if you think they are "disrespecting" you when they bite. And you especially don't know much if you consider toddler biting to be "abuse." Maybe you only watch older children, which would be unacceptable if they were to bite. But it is part of normal toddler development to bite and to expect otherwise is overreaching. To get all mad and quit in a huff is ridiculous. Of course I don't allow the child to "get away with it." Teaching children is part of the nanny's job, and part of that is teaching a child to express his emotions properly. Obviously, with toddlers, you can't expect to say "No biting" and for it to never happen again.

I feel the same way about animals. As long as I don't get severely hurt, if I got scratched or bit by an animal, I would live with it. I'm a caregiver and if the family has an animal in the home, I consider it part of my job to care for it as well, especially if the family has specifically asked me to do so.

StrawberryShortKakes said...

Well said about the toddler development, MissMannah. I definitely agree.

MissMannah said...

Thank you. :) Can you tell what my favorite age to work with is?

Phoenix said...

Yes I agree with MissMannah as well. That is typical toddler behavior. My step-son would bite. And I watched a kid who would suck on you. Just walk up to your leg and give a big slobbery sucky kiss. He grew out of it but it was odd

calcuLATER said...

I honestly can not understand the people who are saying that it is acceptable to fire a nanny for not wanting to walk a dog that bit her. No matter what kind of dog it is, how sweet the dog usually is or what the circumstances are, if the nanny is uncomfortable walking the dog because she is scared that it will bite her, then that should be the end of the conversation. Hire a dog walker for an additional $10-20 to take the dog out.

Also MissMannah, since you have experience with toddlers, maybe you can offer me some input with this situation? I have tons of babysitting experience, but mostly with babies and older kids, not toddlers. I just started to babysit a toddler, he is in the "no" phase, and we are just kind of getting to know each other. Yesterday,we were having fun and laughing, when he walked into the bathroom and started to touch the toilet and play with his potty. I followed him in and when i saw what he was doing i picked him up and said "no don't touch that it is dirty" and then i washed his hands and took him into his room and picked out a book for us to read. He was laying on the bed in the room and I was sitting next to him, and I guess he was mad at me for not letting him touch the toilet, because he started kicking me and yelling "NO!" when i tried to read. I told him in a harsh voice "No, do not kick me, it isn't nice." and he started to cry. I picked him up and walked around and talked in a soothing voice to him. Then i put him in his favorite chair, turned on ice age and gave him one potato chip. How are you supposed to discipline a toddler?

Phoenix said...

Oh my calcuLATER said you are rewarding his bad behavior. Don't do that. I know it is stressful and a little frantic when kids act this way but you can't reward him for it. When you attempted to settle him down you actually allowed him to not only get away with the bad behavior but you then gave him his favorite things. If you do that, he will know how to get to you and get what he wants.

Normally when toddlers throw tantrums its usually because they don't know how to commuincate what they are actually feeling. You insulted him and took away something that he wanted to do. They act out.

MissMannah probably has better tips than I could give because I haven't been around toddlers in a few years. But my friends little brother was a monster. He was super strong for some reason. And when he wouldn't get his way he would stand up, get all red and sweaty, look you straight in the eyes, and walk up to you and say in a very stern nasty little boy voice "If you don't give me what I want I am going to tare everything down in this house!" And he would throw his arms as to give you an example. Then he would literally try to rip things off the walls and throw them at people. He would also throw crying fits and screaming tantrums. When he would cry, kick, and scream we would just ignore him. As long as he wasn't hurting himself we would let him cry it out. Wouldn't even look at him. He began to realize that when he couldn't get a reaction out of us he would calm down quicker and just be on his way. If he started the ripping down the walls things. We would pick him up and not talk to him and walk him into a room with a full length mirror. Plop him down in front of it so he would look at himself acting stupid and crying. He didn't like that and would calm down.
The fact is not giving into this behavior is key. Also don't really punish him for it. They are looking for ANY reaction whether it's good or bad. Stop reacting to it and they learn that this is not a tool to get what they want. That is their goal to get their way. Soon after my friends little brother started to realize how to "get his way" politely by asking permission for things it got a little better. He obviously won't get his way when he wants to play with the toilet but try to steer him in the direction of something else that is squishy like play dough.

I don't think those are the only techniques. Like I said, MissMannah would probably be a better reference.

MissMannah said...

I don't think anyone is saying it is acceptable to fire the nanny. I would never advise a parent to fire a nanny unless she had just cause.

Your charge is going through his No phase because he is wanting some control. Also, it sounds like you're saying it a lot too, so think about ways to turn a negative message into a positive one. I didn't really understand the toilet thing--was he literally in the toilet water? If so, don't tell him not to touch, that might discourage him from potty training (ack! more years of diapers!), instead say "Oh look, your hands are dirty now, would you like to wash them by yourself or would you like me to help you?" That way, you are getting the message across that the toilet is dirty and you are also letting him keep some control by giving him a choice. Don't ask "Do you want to wash your hands?" I've done that a million times and I'm sure you can guess what the answer is every time. But you know what else--maybe he really just wanted to sit on the potty chair and that's why he was messing around with it and that's why he got mad when you removed him from the situation.

Later on when he was kicking you, you don't have to get harsh, but you need to develop what I call "the nanny voice". I look the child straight in the eye and say in a low, even tone "I will not let you hurt me." If he's kicking me while I'm trying to say that, I hold his feet still so he knows I mean business. Then I turn away or walk out of the room (if I know he is safe) so he knows that kicking and throwing a fit is not going to get my attention. When he chills out, pretend you've forgotten all about it, because odds are, he already has forgotten.

And finally, this is just my opinion, and not too many people agree with me on it, but I very rarely pick up and carry toddlers. I believe they need to develop autonomy so I make them crawl or walk as much as possible. Of course if they are tired/upset/sick, I will carry and cuddle them...I'm not a total meanie.

BTW...apologies to MPP for this thread getting off-track. Calculater, if you find yourself having trouble with your charge in the future and would like to email me, you are more than welcome to. My email is missmannah@yahoo.com

Invisible Poster said...

Why do all of my comments disappear????????? Argh!!!!

When did nannies become dog walkers? said...

Why on earth should the nanny be responsible for walking the dog! Last time I checked, a nanny is the caretaker for the children, not the household pets. While I am NOT responsible for caring for my MBs dog, I do take her out for walks, WITH MY CHARGE, just to get out of the house on occasion. This is something I do of my own free will, I am not required or expected to di it, and if the dog bit me, I would never do it again.
If MB is really going to fire her over her dog biting her nanny, I hope the nanny sues the pant off her! Ludacris!

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

To the poster directly above me..that is an excellent point. :)

I am with you on this.

Nom de Plume said...

I have to agree with those who say it's not a nannies responsibility to walk a dog. I'd love for her to fire this nanny because the nanny would have a great wrongful dismissal case. In addition, she could have the dog put down for being a danger. If the nanny had to clean the wound, the dog is biting very hard and a danger to children in the home as well. I personally have several rescues, but I'd never endanger mine or anyone else's life for a pet I feel empathy towards for being nasty. It's called common sense.

Phoenix said...

the dog biting the nanny, who is not a family member doesn't mean the dog is a danger to the children. Dogs are pack animals and they are attached to their family which means the kids. If this dog is old I am thinking it has been in the family for quite some time. He wouldn't be a danger to the kids. And it is not the dogs fault. It shouldn't be put down. Dogs bite sometimes, they are animals. Now I don't think the nanny should be fired but I also don't think she is required to walk the dog if she is afraid of it. And she could sue if she is fired. But this is not the dogs fault

Nom de Plume said...

No nanny should be "required" to walk a dog. It's not nanny/dog walker.

I'm also fairly certain people who've had their children/infants mauled by their dogs said the exact same thing, Phoenix. There's no excuse for a biting dog that hasn't been provoked that's breaking skin. Put it down already before you get sued.

MissMannah said...

As a dog owner, you should understand why they bite. You said the dog wasn't provoked--well how do you know? Are you the nanny who was bitten? If so, go ahead and sue...you certainly seem to enjoy talking about it so much.

We don't know all the facts here. We don't know if the dog was provoked and we don't know if the nanny was a nanny/dogwalker. I'm going to guess that yes, she was because the Mom implied she was contractually obligated to do so. But again, that is just a guess. Just like you were guessing the dog bit for no reason. But I still can't believe you would advocate euthanasia. You have NO idea if this dog is a danger to anyone, I am inclined to trust its owner because she has likely been around it for several years. Shame on you for wanting to kill an innocent.