Sunday

CL-WTF

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.... WHAT?!

Feature:
1) Sitter/Childcare Needed in my Home (Idaho)
My kids are spoiled little homebodies, who make finding a childcare almost impossible for me. I am brutally honest, and will not put up with any bull. I expect honesty, integrity, and someone who shows signs of good work ethic. If this is not you, please, do us both a favor and move on. We are looking for someone who is reliable and will take care of my kids and not maintain their Facebook account while my child innocently discovers nail polish and starts to repaint parts of my walls and furniture. If you are a slob, and will not wash a dish that was used while my child was under your care, then thanks for reading thus far. I’m not looking for a Super Nanny, and I don’t need someone who will change my ways of parenting. My kids are just fine how they are. If you have a great trick on bedtime, I’m all ears, but if you’re the type who is going to come in and “save” us, then God bless, and please, move on. We are not difficult people, and we are fairly easy to work for. Our kids are well behaved, and mind 90% of the time. They are respectful and will not challenge you out of spite.

If you are religious, please keep it to yourself. Again, we do not require saving, and don’t really want that pushed on our children. We will be respectful to your faith, but will not ask to talk God with you. LEAVE THE BIBLE IN THE CAR. It makes my husband uncomfortable, and honestly, we are not interested. We have our faith and beliefs that we prefer to keep to ourselves. This is a working relationship, so it will be treated as such. Religion and politics will not be discussed by me, and I think I can speak for my husband in saying that he is less interested than I am in those subjects. So if you are into preaching the Lord, and pushing bible study, and love to express your love or hate for our current president, please, PLEASE move on.

If you are unhappy with your life, you will be more unhappy if you take this job, so do us all a favor and get some treatment or move to the mountains, but do not answer this ad I’m the last person who is going to want to sit down to hear about how much your life sucks, or how your boyfriend broke up with you last night. I have my own issues, and issues that I don’t actually hold claims to, that I’m compelled to deal with, and really don’t need to add to that list. I may seem like that person you want to tell all to, but trust me, I just have “that look”, and I get that ALL the time. I pretend well, but only when I’m getting paid for it. I won’t pay to hear about your bad hair day, or fight with your best friend. Keep your bad days to yourself, and don’t project that on my children. If you require medication that keeps you from being a sociopath, please no need to reply. I grew up with crazy, and will recognize it right away and ask you to leave. There’s enough crazy in my home, we don’t need more.

Don’t mistake me for heartless, if you grandma dies, I’m all ears for that, but anything else will just irritate me, and I will move on, and politely ask you to as well. If you smoke, please quit. Don't bother applying either, but please quit. The smell sticks to your skin and doesn’t really go away until you quit and gut your home and car. It’s a disguising habit, and really isn’t attractive. Same goes for chewing. If you do drugs or drink enough that the bar knows your name when you walk in the door, and you are grumpy in the morning from that hangover and grumpier at night prior to that next cocktail, call AA, walk away from idea of childcare until after being sober a year. If you cannot multi task, or communicate without being direct and to the point, don't even bother replying. If you are the type who doesn't notice crumbs on the table, skip to the next post, because crumbs are a deal breaker. They put me and especially my husband over the edge. Cleanliness and organization is a must for us. My husband especially. He is extremely OCD, and it seems to reflect on the kitchen mainly. I’m assuming it is because he is a restaurant guy.

If you are still here and reading, either there is hope for us, you are desperate for work, or you are just bored and curious enough to see where this may lead. But if you are serious about answering this ad, I will now tell you a little more about my children. My 10 year old likes to stay at grandma’s house because she can do as she pleases, and my 3 year old hates everyone I’ve taken her to outside of grandma, and my best friend’s. Grandma doesn’t do daycare, and my friend has gone back to school, so she doesn’t either. So this has left me in a bind. I found a wonderful woman for my daughter, and she watches other kids in her home by my work. Perfect, right? My 3 year old act like I’ve tried to kill her favorite pet every time I leave her, and screams she wants to go home. She told me the other day that she’d rather someone just stay at the house with her because she wants her stuff, not someone else’s. Not only that, she prefers to sleep until noon, and for me to take her to her current sitter, I wake her at 8 to be there in time for me to go to class.

So here I am placing an ad for something I’m on a budget for. I love my kids, but can’t afford some of the ridiculous prices I’ve seen out there. I can pay you $20-$25 a day for my 3 year old and $10 for my 10 year old, seeing as how she can take care of herself. I am expecting another baby, who I would leave in your care when I am ready to return to work. I would want the care to continue while I’m on maternity, so that I can attempt on rest. Hours would be fairly consistent, and the days wouldn’t vary much outside of Monday-Wednesday. Day’s would start around 9am, and either my husband or I would be home no later than 6-6:30. On occasion we may need some weekend help, depending on my kid’s schedules as well as ours with work. I would like someone who is willing to do light housework, mainly what involves my child. Any extra would be a plus, and if you do regular housework, we can arrange a different payment agreement. If you love to cook, by all means, we won’t stop you. I had a nanny/sitter in the past that did it all. I was spoiled by her and she was worth every penny. She cleaned my home, cared for my child, and prepared dinner for us. When we moved here, we couldn’t convince her to relocate, not that I blame her.

I’m hoping to get my kids involved in some summer activities, so reliable transportation is a must. I would also require proof of insurance and a valid driver license. If you have ever hit a human with your car, please move on. If you are prone to accidents, again, thanks for reading, and please move on. Any driving done, gas money would be provided. I will never ask that anything be done out of pocket, including gas money. If you are at all interested, please e-mail me with some information about yourself, and contact information. I check my e-mail regularly, and will respond as soon as I can. I have started my search last week and already have some responses. I plan on taking the time next Wednesday, to speak with each responder personally to see if it's a good fit for us. I will not waste your time, so please do not waste mine.
URL: http://boise.craigslist.org/kid/2206652967.html
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Special thanks to SuzanneStadler for our Feature, that was a really good one! Also, thank you to the following Readers for their Contribution: MissDee, NannyCaroline, jessicamparra, Jeneener, Krossi2009, JacquiRodgers, NannyDebSays, N is for Nanny, NannyEmmy and Kbarker83... all of you did an amazing job! I really appreciate your sending in those Ads to me. Please send next weeks CL-WTF Ads HERE or use MEEBO. Don't forget to include the Links and the Body of the ad, if possible! Thank you!

TO READ THE REST OF CL-WTF: CLICK HERE!

22 comments:

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Whew!! This ad was even better than some of the magazine articles out there. LOL. Loved it. Was very entertaining.

Lola said...

Wow~ "best" W.T.F. ever...lol.....so her kids are spoiled and hate everyone, but also polite and very well behaved. She expects professionalism and car insurance, but wants to pay max 105 a week (most weeks...) sorry but insurance usually costs a minimum of $60 a month and can go up to sometimes $2-300 even for a driver with no accidents in certain age groups and/or states, or what have you. She doesn't want to hear ANYTHING from your personal life (don't you dare mention that bad hair day!) but blabs on and on about her own life and her husband's mental problems...regardless, this woman is THE definition of walking contradiction! What an awesome case study of humanity..

Laurie said...

This ad was plagiarized from an ad that ran in craigslist a few years back. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/28/nyregion/28nanny.html
Was much funnier the first time....

hahaha said...

I knew I had to have read this before! As soon as I saw the line "crumbs are a deal breaker" I realized it. Mostly because it reminds me of my boyfriend and myself.

Still entertaining to read as it was edited a bit and there were some new additions.

Northern Nanny said...

WOW! good luck! that's the best WTF i have ever seen... there isn't a chance in hell this woman would ever be happy having someone come into her home to care for anything or anyone. So pathetic. human beings like this annoy the piss out of me!

Kelly Star said...

#9 seems really familiar. I swear I have seen it before some where but I don't live in Boston.

sad face said...

The feature ad really makes me sad. As a single mom who is below the poverty level, I work really hard at my job and pay my babysitter two dollars less what I make an hour: (we are both close to minimum wage.)She definitely deserves more than what I pay her. She is a very responsible high school senior who comes from a wonderful family and to her it is a good job. I wish I could pay her more, and I do tip her at least a dollar an hour, but I am struggling. It is hard for me to pay her, but necessary.

I think it is just shameful that people who can afford the best quality childcare provider will skimp on it and act so brazenly about it, almost as if it is a joke.

I know cl-wtf is supposed to be funny and it usually makes me laugh, but as a mom and former babysitter, this week's has me a little depressed. lol

But I guess that is a compliment to the blog contributors: great ads this week. Definitely a "WTF" week!!!!!

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

sad face..that is very kind of you to be so concerned with what you pay your babysitter. Many upscale families who can afford to pay a better wage do not and often do not care that they do not.
Good Luck to you. Hope you get a raise one day!! ;)

Marypoppin'pills said...

Wow! Good catch, Laurie! I had totally forgotten about the original ad. Such a big deal had been made about it at the time that even the media had been involved.

Phoenix said...

Is it possible the original add is this freako lady? She said she had to relocate so she may have just saved her article from before. I can't imagine working for someone like that. She is more oppinionated than I am and I am an nasty SOB. I wouldn't be surprised if her nanny's stole from her out of spite.

BipolarNanny said...

"There’s enough crazy in my home, we don’t need more."

Gotta love that honesty! I have never, ever had to tell an employer about my condition or my medications, not to mention we crazies are covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act. Her husband is one of those who "thinks" he has OCD but hasn't been diagnosed, otherwise they would know the specifics of the ADA and that meds makes us act like *gasp* normal people.

BipolarNanny said...

And just to prove how crazy and anal-retentive I really am...

Phoenix, the proper form is "stolen," not "stole." Good god, that was bothering me. Oh, and opinionated only has one P.

Once again, I apologize for my quirkiness.

nolamom said...

BipolarNanny you should work for the grammar police poster! :))
That actually reminded me of myself; bad grammar and table manners kill me every time!
Great week for WTF after some slow ones.
Sad Face, I also feel sorry for the How Much ads a lot of the time.

a mom said...

Hey, I'd much rather have a nanny who was taking her meds then some of these people who need meds but don't take them.

Susie Potter said...

Am I the only one who'd kind of like to work for the feature ad?

Who pee peed in your cheerios? said...

Susie Potter: Yes. LOL

I've worked for people like the featured ad (originally finding their "eccentricity" and openness admirable) only to realize that people this blunt, opinionated, and negative are NEVER happy. There are people who thrive off of control and negativity, and anyone with this many "rules, qualms and dislikes is going to find plenty that they also don't like about you.

hehe said...

BipolarNanny, you forgot that she spelled "ad" incorrectly. It's "ad" (as in advertisement) not "add" as in addition. ;)

BipolarNanny said...

Oh the shame! I can't believe I missed that because it usually really bothers me too. Both "add" and "siting," which is another common one here. Good eye, hehe!

Susie, you are more than welcome to apply for that position because I doubt that mother will be able to find anyone else. Mind if I ask what you found attractive about the job? I found it highly offensive. (for obvious reasons)

A Former Nanny said...

I agree with WPPIYC in that this woman will NEVER be happy. For one thing, she seems to put a lot of stock into what her 3-year-old thinks of the childcare provider, which is why she's even looking for a nanny in the first place. That in and of itself is not a problem, except that her 3-year-old apparently doesn't like ANYBODY (I can't imagine where she got that attitude lol). Not to mention that despite their intolerance of "issues" they openly admit to having a lot of them. The hypocrisy alone would probably kill me.

Phoenix said...

LMAO. OMG that is really funny. Teach me to type while on percocet :)

I can't stand it when people spell things incorrectly. How embarrassing and funny at the same time.

New rule don't go online when you have taken pain killers. LOL

BipolarNanny said...

You could always post some sort of disclaimer so we'll all know to go easy on you.

"Warning: the following poster is spelling under the influence."

Phoenix said...

yes I should do that next time. but if one is under the influence would they remember to post a disclaimer?