Tuesday

Wow... No Merry Christmas for this Nanny

Received Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Opinion 4 My employer just told me today that he is giving me 30 days notice for termination because I didn't take the initiative to wash windows, mop the floors, and other chores not out lined in our agreement. He also told me that I was unreliable because once I couldn't come in on my day off because they wanted a night out. I had told them previously that I would be working at a Santa booth on my days off for some extra holiday money weeks ago. My last day is two days before Christmas. How messed up is this?

56 comments:

Bostonnanny said...

Tell him you'll take your severance and leave today. If they won't give you severance, just pick more shifts up at the Santa booth and peace out. Why stay 30days to be treated like crap and allow them enough time to find a replacement.

MONKEYSHINES said...

oh, these poor folks need a night out from their stressful lives of not caring for their kids or doing housework!
are you a illegal because thats the only folks I know who wash windows!
try to collect unemployment, I bet you could because you couldnt live up to their expectations. if you are not on the books tell them you are going to try and collect anyway, they know the trouble they
are going to get into with the goverment and usually it will benift you $$$$, I have done it too previous nasty employers. unfortunatley this is how you deal with nasty parents like this. YOU GOT TO GET DOWN AND DIRTY!

^^^^ me likey said...

i like what monkeyshines has to say. thats the kind of attitude you need to have. also, with your remaining 30 days, really show them what its like to not do anything. watch the kids, but totally half ass everything else. if they are going to be letting go of you anyway...

OP Here said...

Bostonnanny: Severance is not an option until they find a new nanny.

Monkeyshines: I am suppose to be on the books. The dad says he is taking taxes out of my weekly salary but I receive direct deposit and no paystubs so I have no idea if he is actually paying the taxes to the right people or if he just says he is. I asked a few times after I hired if I needed to sign anything but he said it was taken care of.

^^^^me: You better believe that I am taking great care of their baby but hell if I am doing more than wash the bottles and clean up after myself. I busted my ass for this job and now there is no reason to.

To all of you: Thank you for the kind words.

MissDee said...

Let me get this straight:

He is firing you because he EXPECTED you to do things not in your contract?

He is firing you because he DEMANDS you to be there on your day off, which is YOUR TIME?

FIRE HIM.

Since you only have 30 days left because he is a pompous demanding ignorant ass with the personality of an eraser, do everything you are supposed to do with the children for the next two weeks and then slowly move into slacker mode without them noticing you aren't properly doing your job. These people don't need a nanny, they need to realize what a nanny is, and what you have done for their family.

Good luck on your job hunt-keep us posted!

OP Here said...

MissDee:

I even showed him the contract and he said that he thought I would be smart enough to figure out they needed more than just the basics. We also had a clause in our contract stating that if either party isn't happy with what is going on, then they are to voice their thoughts and work to see if a solution can be met. They never told me anything was wrong. I knew that I would have on call days but I was never told what days would be on call. What really makes me upset is that he didn't even give me a chance to try and do things his way (not that I want to wash windows and mop floors but I really need a job since I am the bread winner for my household).

notsure,but said...

Shouldn't you have filled out tax forms before you started if the job isn't under the table? I think he might be lying to you.

TinyDancer said...

Ugh! This sounds vaguely familiar. I've never been fired over the situation but I've had a couple families where I did laundy (kids and parents) change sheets, clean bathroom, vacuum carpets, mop kitchen floor and occasionally deep clean kitchen, lots of premeal prep (on top of the meal we were eating that day) and frequently reorganized toys on top of child care and outings and the parents had the audacity to gvie me a reference saying I never went above and beyond. What a joke! Luckily my current boss really appreciates any extra things I do.

OP Here said...

Notsure:

His wife and I were trying to find a W-2 form we could use but the website said that it had to printed with special ink. We used the sample form to figure out my deductions, etc. We also found a website that said how much would pay for FICA, Medicare, etc. That is how he figured out how much my take home would be. But I am unsure that he is actually paying them.

TinyDancer said...

@not sure... you are probably right. I did a job where they said they were taking taxes out but I never did a w4. They never gave me a w2 at tax season which means they just saved $100/week or whatever it worked out to be on my salary claiming they were paying taxes. Not cool!

Buggins said...

Well, the good news is that if they failed to deduct from your check, both shares of the FICA taxes (usually split between employer and employee via deduction) become the family's responsibility. You're still liable for state and federal, though. And if you haven't been claimed by them, they'll be in for a bit of a mess when you claim unemployment!

OP Here said...

Buggins: Oh I will be filing regardless. The dad is military and I know that he will be in ALOT of trouble if he doesn't pay the taxes.

some thoughts said...

How long have you been with them? If over a year, you should have the tax return that you filed last year with a W4 attached when you filed your taxes. That way you'll know your taxes were being paid. Also, check the laws in your state because when my nanny filed for UI, I had to fill out a form the state sent me asking if she was fired 'for cause' and also asking if I gave her a severance.....it may be if you accept a severance you waive your rights to collect UI, so do the math and figure out which is better. Also, if you walk off the job before your 30 days is up, you've quit for sure and you definitely won't get UI.

some thoughts again said...

FYI, a W-2 doesn't have to be printed with special ink -just not invisible ink --someone in this scenario ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Honestly, it doesn't sound like this family is going to give you anything - and it sounds like you didn't do your homework to protect yourself like you should have. If you want to get back at them, the best thing you can do is quit tonight and leave them without childcare. I doubt you will get a penny of severance from them

nycmom said...

Saw you on Urbanbaby. So sorry! File unemployment and chalk it up to unkind people. Although I agree with the advice to quit, it sounds like you really need the money and you don't want to sabotage your unemployment. Good luck.

Buggins said...

I think once you've been fired, you're free to leave without working through the notice period without jeopardizing your unemployment claim. I wouldn't stay and take that abuse while they leisurely find someone new.

CuriousDad said...

Wow, Heres hoping you can get a job within the span of a week and leave the Yahoos high and dry.

Psyber Chica said...

Not claiming to be an expert on the subject, but it seems to me like you might run into some trouble when filing for unemployment. I'm wondering how the unemployment office will handle this when you never filled out the proper paperwork. They may place blame on both you and the employer.

Maybe you can go ahead and call the unemployment office and let them know the situation and they can give you an idea of how it will be handled. If they pretty much say you are screwed, then I would just walk on this job.

Happy Nanny who loves what she does said...

I was just let go of a job- with the exact situation. The family was exactly the same way. The lazy people who rather me care for their home, errands and laundry instead of caring for their toddler. They took me for granted. I would leave their home everyday clean and come the next day- it always looked like a tornado went through it. Dishes in sink, toys, clothes and garbage all over the floors- I am so thankful for the wonderful family I work for now. They are definitely grateful for what I do.

Happy Nanny who loves what she does said...

I am sorry- hope u find a great position- you definitely deserve something better.

TC said...

Be prepared before you talk to unemployment

Does your contract state what your pay is? Can you print off bank statements that show the difference between what your pay shows on the contract and what was actually deposited into your bank account?

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

OP..another story that makes my blood boil! I am so tired of the way families treat their nannies..I am at the end of my rope..I seriously am considering leaving this profession. Just this past weekend, my family made me drive 1/2 hour to their house to obtain my paycheck. Then they had the audacity to notify me the check was post dated until Dec. 5th since they wouldn't have the $$ money in the account until then! Anyways, yes this family is messed up, BIG TIME.
If you really need the money and you have a chance of collecting unemployment, then you have no choice but to stay the last month. I would do the bare minimum. Boy..things sure will be awkward, huh? But if you can afford to (doesn't sound like you can however :(..then I would tell him to "Fu#@ himself..and leave."
As long as you have proof that he direct deposited the money into your bank account, you may possibly have a chance at collecting UI, but I do not know for sure. I would look into it.
This family sounds like they wanted a slave and slavery was outlawed more than 100 + yrs ago.

TC said...

Just my two cents,

Post dated doesn't mean a thing, you can put the money in now if you want. What I would do is call the bank and see if the money is there, if it is then cash it at their bank.

Be careful though, if you put it in your bank and it bounces your bank will hit you with a fee as well as take all the money out

http://www.ehow.com/about_5214841_legality-postdated-check_.html

Jennifer said...

So sorry... My suggestion would be to file unemployment & contact the command with which this joke of a human is attached to. I am more than certain his superiors will not be impressed with his attempts at tax evasion & fraud - which is exactly what's going on. If you know the branch he is in & where he works, just place a call to the admin department...tell them the whole story... I even recommend talking to a lawyer (about wrongful termination of employment & the attempts @ tax evasion/fraud by an active duty military member). Do it...ASAP!!!

hmmm said...

Jennifer,
Telling OP to complain about wrongful termination is sort of pointless. You can't wrongfully terminate a household employee - she isn't working for a corporation or an LLP.

OP,
You still haven't stated how long you worked for them and if you were reporting your income taxes from this job. I don't know if I'd go the route of ratting out your employer if you don't have a history of claiming your income by filing a tax return - you might want to get your previous year's tax returns in order before you start making calls. It is going to look suspicious on your end if you didn't file tax returns in the past - who knows, you might have been due a refund - but it's going to look odd if you never tried to claim it...it's just going to look like you were getting paid under the table and not reporting your income.

I have experience with this with my husband's previous job where his employer (a small business) pulled some shady tax evasion stuff, declared bankruptcy and failed to give us a W2 at year end. I called the IRS and they seriously don't give a shit about small businesses or individuals. You are wasting your time. If your employer says they are withholding taxes on your behalf but never actually send that money into the gov't you are STILL responsible for paying income taxes on the pay that was your net pay so you just get doubly screwed. So if you were duped by your employer into being paid under the table, it's really in your own financial interest to keep your mouth shut if you were not abiding by the tax laws either by not filing tax returns every april 15th.

If you did file tax returns but your employer wasn't paying into UI for you, you could sue him in court for the UI you couldn't collect since there was no account for his EIN, but you will need solid proof that you were laid off and not fired- in which case, staying that last 30 days could be crucial in proving you weren't fired...since firing someone is usually immediate.

OP Here said...

Sorry for the delay. I have been working for them for 3 months, so I haven't filed yet. I do know what his unit is and where he is stationed and what branch. He is stationed in another state but sent here to train to be a doctor (I was told cardiothorastic surgeon but he carries around gynecology textbooks). If I find out that he has not been paying my taxes, I will be contacting everyone in position to do something to him and his career. I did go to work today. I took excellent care of the baby but I did not do any of my daily chores other than washing the baby bottles and cleaning up after both of us. I am debating on doing the kids laundry and the other weekly chores or not tomorrow. I feel like I should (I seriously hate not giving 100% at my job and today I felt guilty). The thing that gets to me is that when I came into work today, my boss didn't even greet me. Just grabbed the 4 year old and left. Then when he came home he demanded the baby's car seat and was upset that I wouldn't stay and finish feeding the baby his jar food. Normally I stick around to finish feeding him but since he started eating solid food, it takes almost an hour to feed him and I really didn't want to sit around in a tension filled kitchen with the boss from hell.

Bostonnanny said...

Just leave, things are gonna get worse. Tell that you will expect you w2 by tax season because your filing and that better make everything is good on his end. Fuck UI it's gonna be a hassle to get it. If he says anything rude to u tell to fuck off your not in the military and don't have to show him any kind of respect.
People walk over nannies when they know they need the job but if you can stand up for yourself and walk out, you put them in there place. Respect is a two way street.

at first I thought he was army but now I'm thinking marine. they have to much anger and control issues.

alex said...

wow! That is ridiculous!! Washing windows & floors? Not the job of a nanny thank you very much! See if you can get something in writing about why they are firing you. You should see about unemployment as sometimes you can get it when you are fired and honestly I would consider this unjust termination considering they are all things not outlined in your contact but that he wanted you to do without ever telling you to do them. No one is a mind reader!

ob said...

OP,

Buggins is right that the tax issue could benefit you, but got the precise one wrong. It's Medicare and Social Security, not FICA, that the family will become responsible for both shares of.

Usually 7.65% of your pay is taken for these and the employer pays an additional 7.65% on top of that. For each pay period the employer fails to remove your half of the 15.3% total, they become responsible for both shares.

Buggins is right that you need to be wary of state and federal taxes if they're not paying.

CuriousDad said...

You receive Direct deposit so there is a record of you getting paid. I hope you have a written contract that states your pay rate. With those You may have to fill extra paper work if you do not get a W2 form. But the IRS will go after them as long as you do your due diligence.

FYI, BostonNanny

There are no Marine doctors. All medical personnel for the Marine Corps are supplied by the US Navy.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

Thanks so much for the advice TC regarding my "post dated" check. The more I think about the nerve this family had to pay me with a post dated check, the angrier I get. Another example of a nanny being treated as less than a human being. What kind of person do these people think I am? That I am so desperate for cash that I am willing to settle for a post dated check, I not even worthy of being paid on time like everyone else. I will go to her bank and try to cash it today.
Anyways, OP...I would just try to pursue this thing and exhaust all legal avenues. You are being screwed and I am sure it is not easy going to work in this tough environment and all, but stick with it and try to suck it up. Too bad us nannies have to deal with all this hassle just because our employers view us as beneath them. Sheesh!!~

My Nexus said...

You must be patient, and if possible you should explain again to master it if you're working part time at a booth saint. Perhaps with that they can understand and will give you permission. I know this is a complicated issue, but we must remain patient in any circumstances in our lives

Rocket Scientist said...

OP, I wish you the best! I'm sorry you're in this situation...it totally sucks. I think you should follow the more level-headed advice so as to keep getting paid for as long as possible. I wouldn't trust these people to give you any severance if you decide to stop going in before the date they set. When the baby is sleeping, you could work on finding your next placement online and on the phone. I would also sign up with a couple of agencies and explain that you need a job asap. Two heads are better than one, no? Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving!

Bostonnanny, two of my brothers are Marines. They are wonderful men who love their family and their country. They both served in Kuwait and Iraq in 2003. One lost almost his entire platoon, including his best friends, in an ambush. The other was not in combat, but was daily under the stress of possible bombs and chemical weapons coming into his camp, and suffered psychologically as a result. Of those who served with them, some had issues, but the vast majority were people like my brothers who signed up because they love their country. Whatever your opinion on our country's military actions of late, perhaps you should think twice before badmouthing the people who step up to the plate to protect you.

bostonnanny said...

Hey Rocket Scientist,

I grew up in a town that had a military base in it, most of my friends were military brats. And about 6 students from my HS died in Iraq right after 9/11. My cousin grew up at 99 palms, Both my uncles were marines and my best friend is in the army. My other friend was is in the air force and my ex boyfriend is in Iraq right now. I almost joined the army 3 years ago but decided to go to college first. You should stop assuming shit, I never mentioned once in my comment anything about my thoughts on the war.

Yes, I may think most marines are angry, have control issues but that is based on experience. You brothers maybe well adjusted but i've been on enough military bases to see the worst traits come out.

Remember you don't know me.

bostonnanny said...

Curious Dad,

you are absolutely correct, they don't have their own corpsman. But as a branch of the Department of Navy they are provided with Navy Corpsman.
I forgot she mentioned he was a doctor, but you never know he could have been a marine that joined the navy to become a doctor ;)

But I should stop before someone tells me I hate america and its military blah blah blah

OP Here said...

My boss is actually in the Army. I seriously doubt that I can make it the 30 days thanks to him. He tried to leave again today without talking to me but I stopped him to remind him he agreed to give me a check today. He got upset and said he already set up a money transfer. I had to remind him that the banks would be closed tomorrow and Friday, so I probably wouldn't receive the money until mid next week and that we had the agreement I would get paid by check today. That made him really upset and kept making comments about how I am bleeding him dry and how I am ungrateful.

I have been looking the past few days and literally no one is hiring right now. There is only on ad craigslist and the same add on sittercity looking for a fulltime nanny but not wanting to pay more than $200 for a 13 month old. No one around here is hiring for non- nanny jobs either. I have tried all day to reach UI on the phone but the lines have been busy every time I have called. I have no idea what I am going to do but I really don't want to keep coming back here and dealing with him.

cali mom said...

What an asshole! My advice is, since he presumably has not given you a reference and does not plan to give you a good one, is to simply not show up on Monday, and text him to tell him to take his 30 days and shove them, then spend the nest 30 days job-hunting full-force. Of course, before you do that, make sure you have something like HIS SS# handy to pass along to the IRS when you contact them.

He cannot possibly be taking taxes out of your pay if you have never filled out a W2 or given him your SS#. So, apply for unemployment even though you probably won't be eligible for any, and make sure the IRS knows about him and his shady bookkeeping.

You also have the right to know exactly what taxes ARE being taken out of your pay so that IF it's not being done right you at least have been given the opportunity to make it right before having full liability land on YOU. Did he give you anything in writing refarding your termination or hiring?

Bostonnanny said...

Try a local nanny agency and care.com. Also apply to every mall position you can find and daycare. Anything to hold you down until you find a nanny position.
If you have a car search outside your general area. Just spend every free minute appling and re doing your resume.

cali mom said...

Whoops, I meant W4, not W2. He can NOT be paying proper taxes for you if you never filled one out. Since he's in the military, it should be easy as pie for the IRS to locate him >:)

Please, do **NOT** stay for 30 days. Desert them at the most inconvenient time possible!

cali mom said...

And come to think of it OP, this is probably actually a very GOOD time to find seasonal retail jobs. Tell them you are available immediately, and apply at every store within reasonable commuting distance to you. Look for a new nanny job AFTER the holiday season is over.

cali mom said...

And I think your chances of getting any "severance pay" from this dickwipe are about the same as Queen Elizabeth birthing Elvis's love-child. Don't put up with 30 more days of his crap just because you're holding out for that nonexistant crumb.

Rocket Scientist said...

Bostonanny, I really wasn't making assumptions. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was. It sounded to me like you were making assumptions about Marines in your previous post, too, especially since I didn't know your background. I guess it's just because we are writing rather than speaking. I'm very sorry you have experienced so much loss regarding friends in the military. It's hard. I am speaking from experience, too. I guess the picture someone has of the military (or any branch thereof) depends on that person's experience. I just don't agree that most Marines have anger issues. Sure, the ones you have been around, and others too, but not all of them. That is my point. I think it is a harmful stereotype, and based on my experiences with Marines, I tend to jump to their defense when blanket statements are thrown around. It's just my opinion, and I really meant no offense. Can we be at peace? :)

Bostonnanny said...

Also apply for temp nanny positions during Xmas break, a lot of kids are out of school and parents need an extra set of hands.

I agree with Cali mom, find is Ssn and report him. How is he transferring funds to your account? I know that payroll companies do it but how does someone without one do it? Do share the same bank and he has your account #?
Also go to the IRS website and read the household worker packet which describes everything an employer needs to do to pay taxes.

Bostonnanny said...

Rocket scientist,

Peace be with us lol. I know not all marines are like the many I encountered but the ones I have be around especially after returning from war are in need of some therapy asap. Not many people can handle the trama of war and those who can come back like your brothers safe and without PTSD are rare. My friend was in the air force right after 9/11 and she came back a completely different person, it's taken her years to recover and she came from high ranking air force family. She saw a lot even tho she was safer then most army personal who were being bombed everyday. I respect the people who defend us and am praying my best friend doesn't get sent to Iraq. He's to much of a Teddy bear and I fear he will return a different person.

Now I'm done with military talk and will reminded focused on the topic of the asshole boss.

Rocket Scientist said...

I will be praying for your friends, too, Bostonnanny :)

LOL, Yes back to that jerk of a boss...hmm, let's see. OP, maybe you should spit in his coffee when he's not looking. Hey, if a waiter can do it, why not a mistreated nanny on her last few days? Heehee...

OP Here said...

I have filled out applications for seasonal positions at three of the local malls here. I am lucky that I am managing a Santa booth at one of the malls so I have some income coming in. As manager I set my schedule up around my nanny schedule. I was hoping to use the Santa booth money for Christmas expenses and to pay for school in semester since I won't get paid for any of it until January (I have worked at this Santa booth before and I know I will get paid just so that there are no questions about that). I do want leave this family ASAP but I have to think of my bills due next month. I have already told my friends and family what is going on and they understand that I am pretty much canceling the holidays to save money since it will probably be January before I can seriously start seeing place that are hiring or families that need nannies. I think instead of going to school next semester, I will need to hold on to that money to try and cover January expenses just in case. I can't do financial aid because what I just filed (two weeks ago with a notarized letter from my boss saying how much I was working and how much I make a week before and after taxes) and was approved for a certain amount based on my income at the time. I wish he had told me TWO WEEKS ago that he was dissatisfied with my work. I probably could have filed as no income coming in if I knew and gotten most of the classes covered instead of just half. GOD I HATE THIS SITUATION!!! (Sorry).

OP Here said...

Oh I forgot to mention that I did give my bosses my SS# and what my withholdings or whatever they are called are when we were looking at the sample of the form. They even copied my license and birth certificate because it said we needed to supply those. That is why I was under the impression he was paying them. I just never signed a form.

Bostonnanny said...

File unemployment, contact your school mention your situation maybe they can readjust your financial aid. Keep applying and leave as soon as possible.

Village said...

This may be an annual event for him. He wants to get rid of the nanny at the holidays each year, and this works for him.

I'd quit immediately. He didn't live up to the contract. Why should you? I'd be doubtful he was going to pay me what he owned me, but maybe that's just me.

After you are finally gone from there, call the IRS. Withholding taxes from you and not sending it to the government is a FEDERAL offense. Find out if he sent it in. If he didn't, make sure the IRS knows all the details. Again, I'm guessing you are not the first, and if no one tells, you won't be the last.

JustAMommy said...

OP, you need to contact your school's financial aid office and ask them how to file a change in circumstances. Trust me, you will not be the first.

You

ohionanny said...

Sooooo much advice, and much of it good, so I am repeating what's been said.

If this were me:

I would not show up on Monday. I highly doubt you'll get a severance with the way this asshole is acting. He may be using that to keep you from leaving HIM in the lurch. MY trust would be GONE at this point!

I would certainly call the IRS on his ass. If he's paid them, it's all good. If not, they'll have a bug in their ear.

When I was without a permanent position, I scoured care.com, sittercity, and craigslist for temporary jobs to help hold you over. Whoever said parents will need temporary sitters with the holidays coming up is correct. School will be out, parents will want to go to holiday parties, and New years Eve is a big sitter night. Look for those for now.

Can't you also put in more hours at the Santa booth?

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

OP...if you stay at this job, the 30 days will seem more like 30 million years. Each day will be hell and it will seem like it never ends!! He possibly is making your job miserable so you will quit, thus he won't have to fork up any unemployment on your behalf. I am sure everything he is doing if for his own benefit anyways.
I was a college student, and was receiving financial aid for school. If your circumstances change, any time..you can let the school's financial aid office know and you will have your aid amount readjusted accordingly.
Like I had stated before..exhaust all legal avenues on this bastard. Report him to the IRS, etc. Stand up for ALL nannies who have been treated like nobodys, all of us so called "underdogs". Imagine if all nannies stopped putting up w/sh#@..people would get the message and stop treating us the way they do. (Sorry, I am still pissed I was paid with a post dated check..LOL.)

chillpill said...

I would have a friend or relative call for a "reference" (if they offered one) to make sure that they dont bad mouth you. people suck, I would leave asap if you can.

nothiring said...

Move.

TC said...

I usually have more babysitting jobs during the holidays, parents going out for christmas parties and such

Maybe start planning now, if you live on your own plan to work new years eve and offer to watch a few kids (however many you can handle) at your place and advertise on sittercity or care.com or even your local paper.

You can even watch kids every Saturday for parents to go out shopping, again if you have your own place.

Booboo said...

Village said it best. If he fires nannies before XMas, he doesn't have to pay them a holiday bonus or give them any vacation pay. I worked for a family that did precisely that...so awful. Best of luck to you!