Received Saturday, May 23, 2009
There haven't been a lot of sightings posted and I do have a dilemma, I could use some advice.
Last summer I took a job for a wonderful young family, caring for their 3 month old child. Both parents are open and kind and we have a great relationship in all areas. And without needing to say, their child and I have developed a deep and loving bond during this first year of life. I am with child M-F, 12 hours a day plus sometimes Saturday, sometimes overnight. Most days I feed all 3 meals, and give child their bath and do bedtime. The parents both work grueling, long hours at high stress occupations.
I am very qualified, and not tooting my own horn, but to put into perspective, have been sought out at 1000.00 per week (a not so inviting situation, granted, or I would have taken it! But my point is the offer was there). When I was making the decision to take this job I had a choice of 3 offers. This was the lowest paying job. I chose this family because I was looking for a live-in position and they appealed to me as a family I could really live comfortably with. In making this commitment there were compromises made, with the verbal agreement that the family would increase my salary in one year, at the time of my second contract. Well...I'm sure you've guessed what happened next...
We had a meeting, and they told me they are not able to offer a raise. I am now in a "committed" relationship with their child :-) and don't know what to do. I certainly don't want to leave, but I am not making it on the salary to which I agreed. While it is a fair salary, I passed up the other higher salaries, trusting their word to raise me to my original request in one year. They aren't affluent by any means, but make financial choices that I cannot even consider. It's not my place to judge, and I try not to. The mom made the statement that they cannot even save for their planned trip this coming winter if they give me a raise. that sat wrong with me. I can tell them, but short of an ultimatum there isn't anymore I can say. And bottom line, 1. I love their child. 2. The economy is scary. 3. I'm afraid to rock the boat because our relationship, other than this, is so wonderful.
So....now....some of you may bite my head off for being so dumb, but at our meeting I made the offer to keep the salary the same if they allow me to nanny share without compromising what they pay me, and they agreed. Now, I feel like it's all up to me and I'm somewhat resentful. As well, I have been extremely flexible, basically available 24/7 for them to schedule me as needed. taking on another family will require a set schedule, which I told them, but I don't think they can see what this will look like with their unpredictable schedules. This second child and family will need to be equally considered at all times. I believe they are only seeing the dollar signs right now. This is the second area of the financial part of the contract that they renigged on.
And finally, the grandma (who lives out of state and rightfully adores this baby) calls daily to check in on the baby, which is fine because I really like her. But as she gets to know me and feels more like a friend, she appeals to me to go above and beyond my contract as far as time, housework, etc. This is the first time I've been a live-in nanny and it can be so sticky! Especially if you really become part of the family. Live-out is not an option on my current salary with my current financial responsibilities.
Phew. Rambled, I think, but I already feel better. Please, parents and nannies, any conctructive advice and opinions would be so appreciated.
One of the family