Received Monday, March 16, 2009
I saw a nanny in charge of a boy child at about 11 this morning. The weather was nice, so I took my girl for a walk to the library. They were out but she was not kind to that child. The child was interesting looking, super cute with an angular face and pointy features, blonde hair, pale skin, wearing a mint green l/s polo shirt and a pair of blue jeans with a brown belt and brown hiking boots. The nanny was anorexic/cracked out looking, gaunt, with sallow cheeks, medium dark complexion, African American,puffy brown auburn hair that is cut short and styled to be tight near the ears and puff up by the top of the head, thick urban nyc accent, likely Bronx and wearing blue boot cut blue jeans with yellow and red embroider on the hems and a brown vest over a cream colored shirt, somewhat sharply dressed with what appeared to be designer boots, black leather with metallic divots.
Here is what happened. The child was sitting next to the nanny and coloring in a coloring book. It appeared to be Batman from the colors. The nanny was reading a glamour magazine. Okay, fine, the child is entertained. The child then scribbles on his page and his crayon goes over and on to the table. The nanny shrieks and says something to him. The boys says something like "it will come off" and the nanny says, "it shouldn't be on in the first place. you don't write on tables, how would you like me to write on you". The boy looked at her and she grabbed the purple crayon and pushed up his l/s shirt sleevs and started grinding the crayon in to his forearm. He said "that hurts". The nanny stopped because it wasn't making a mark. She disappeared and came back with a paper towel and wiped up the crayon. How hard was that, really? Anyway, when she came back, she noticed that the boy was now looking at her magazine, so she grabbed it away from him and HIT HIM ON THE HEAD WITH IT the same way you would hit a puppy. Her whole demeanor was mean. It wasn't a soft hit but a hard THWACK.
So I walk over to her and I'm like, "what's your problem?" and she's like, "You best keep walking". I say, "Was it necessary to hit the child on the head" and she says, "with a magazine?" and then she hits herself on the head with the magazine like 4 times. She says, "It isn't hurting anyone". I just look at her disgusted. And she said, "Move on. Just move along". So I walk away. No problem right?
Wrong. I am with my five year old charge. She skips up to me to show me the books she has found. I tell her she can get one more. She skips away. I think that is the end. The nanny says to me, "why isn't she in school" I said, "excuse me" and she says, "I am demanding to know why she isn't in school". I say, "Are you out of your mind" And she says something like, "You make my business your business, now I am making your business my business". I just look at her in disbelief. And she says, "shame, shame, shame, leaving a child like that to run around. Someone is going to steal her, take her right from under your nose, and take her away and do what with her, you don't know. They do some bad things to kids when you leave them alone" And she is standing there shaking her head at me. I don't know if she is mocking me or threatening the child. I believe she thinks the child is my own. I say to her, "You are out of your mind" and I start to walk away and she says, "you better hold on tight". I didn't stick around for more.
In summary, your nanny is unkind to your child and borderline psychotic. I hope this description alerts the parents. I had my iphone with me, but she scared the crap out of me, God only knows what she would have done if I would have tried to take her picture.
62 comments:
Great post... but I think I would have called the cops just based on what she was saying to you about the child you were with...
Also, you could have used a better description than cracked out, lol...
Finally, a professional nanny. Good sighting OP!
Except, were you really watching your charge or did this other nanny have a point?
Dude, calm down.
The issue is the other nanny, NOT THE OP.
Hmm..
If this nanny was this extreme, I'd find it hard to believe she acts like a perfect nanny around the charge's parents..
or like stated..
she has a huge mental problem..
Wow. Poor kid, I hope his parents read this he doesn't need to be around someone like that.
If you see them again take pictures of them if you can which will help identify the child but I would not talk to her again.
And If she does threaten the child you were with again I would contact the police.
Just to be on the safe side you might want to mention what happened to your charges parents.
Well, I am sure I will get some guff but here it goes..if the thwack really was as hard as you say..shame on that nanny.
Also, regarding the crayon on the arm..Good possibility the nanny stopped because the child told her "it hurts"
BUT...
OP,from the way you descibed your approach,it sounds as if you were out to antagonize instead of truly showing concern for the child involved.
"what's your problem?" Come on..that is how pissed off teenage girls fighting over a boy talk to each other...not concerned adults.
I cannot imagine approaching anyone with that question who would not come back in a defensive mode?!
As far as your charge..I think she was giving you a taste of your own medicine. She was indeed now getting into your business as you did hers. I think your implication of her possibly threatening your child is yet another sign that you are animating the story to antagonize the situation. JMO
Sounds like you could both use a time out!
By the way, the police never would have responded to this call..there was no abuse..the nanny was simply not a kissy kissy sweet nanny and when OP desciribed the situation honestly, explaining how she approached the lady, they would have seen it for what it was..two very immature nannies at the library.
JMO
Big butt,
I think there is a world of difference between someone who hurts a child and one who tries to stop it. I know in a perfect world the OP would appoach said nanny, curtsy and say, "might I enlighten you possibly as to the error of your ways" but that is not the real world.
Frankly the tolerance you show for the abusive nanny is frightening. Are you sadistic? Anti child or just THAT pro nanny?
Toonces, while you may have a point, the OP's approach was very antogonistic & immature and not helpful to either..Either.. child involved.
I am sure the OP's boss would love to know how the OP approaches people..putting her charge in harms way.She gets paid to mind her own charge and not others and if does see a child in harms way..going up to a craked out looking person and saying "whats your problem" makes me think that she is in no way thinking of her safety or her charges!
Does this moniker make my butt look big,
I'd forgotten how stupid you are.
Thanks for the fuschia reminder.
Amelia,You post your thoughts,I'll post mine, you do things you way, I'll do them mine..but lets agree to do them in a grown manner..no name calling or hurtling of derogatory adjectives..ok??!Lets be grown-ups.
wow, its great to be back.
Toonces,You are welcome to skip my posts but your name calling will never deter me from posting. It will however take me back to all that nasty name calling high school crap and give me a good chuckle.Cheers!
Oh God no! Let's not name call and argue! The nanny was wrong! You do not dig crayons into children's arms and you do not hit them over the head with a magazine! They're aren't puppies! The nanny should have helped the child clean up the table and told him again why we don't write on tables. Why couldn't she have taken the magazine from him and discuss colors and the like? There are so many ways she could have dealt wit this. I don't think calling a cop was in order.
amelia,do you have a child. If so, Wouldn't you be upset if the OP were your nanny putting your child in harms way like that?Approaching someone(in her own words),"cracked out looking" who inturn starts in on her and her charge?? I sure would.I would be furious with my nanny for not using better judgment.
I do not employ a nanny but I hope that anyone ever watching my child would use much better juudgement.
I also am not sure what "tolerance" you are referring to. I think both nannies were immature and stated such as well as said"shame on her if the thwack was truly hard"
Name calling is no longer my style, so that is all you are getting from me..sorry to dissapoint!
Moniker,
You can bitch and moan and compliment yourself about not being into name calling but you're such a shit stirrer that you cauase people to hurl about insults simply by showing up.
What is your iq, honey?
The OP's charge was not with her when she saw a child being hit and responded. THE end.
That's right. The end.
Things happen when you interfere and you have to deal with crazies. Instead of placing any blame on an innocent bystander and her happy charge, why not simply get on board with the fact that this nanny sounds a bit crazy. It is she who should be outed.
Stop critisizing the OP.
I am guessing by your defense of the nanny that you are likely mistreated by your employer. This isn't the spot where you work your issues out.
This is the best use of this site; protecting children from their 'caregivers'. I hope the Mother sees this post. The OP was too scared to try to take a picture. The kid must be scared out of his wits.
Seriously..of all the times to give the OP a hard time, this is NOT one of them. So she didn't approach the other nanny in the same manner you would have? That doesn't mean she was being intentionally antagonistic...BLB, you're making it sound like OP was looking for a fight. To me, it sounds like she was SO alarmed by this nanny's behavior that she couldn't help but say something. Perhaps OP isn't as well spoken and eloquent as you are. That doesn't mean she was in the wrong. I DO agree that the other nanny may have been giving her, as you say, a taste of her own medicine, but again, I don't think we should be making digs at the OP because of it. If she hadn't said ANYTHING and just observed all of this, i guarantee there would be people ragging on her for standing idly by...It's a catch 22. Let's be greatful that she even bothered to post this. I really really HOPE the parents of this child see this sighting. That nanny sounds incredibly unstable and maybe even emotionally abusive.
J, you are funny..Keep it coming sister.I can tell you will.
Facts are weather or not her charge was with her..she put her in harms way. You don't have to like that I am right about that..but I am right about that.
In the op's own words she was not sure at that if this woman was threatening her charge or not.
Next time advoacte in a more mature manner keeping your charge and everybody else in the library safe.
J..this is not personal..relax.I don't know you nor do I care too. I came here to blog..if stating my opinion without name calling is shit stirring..then so be it!
Does it seem odd to anyone else that an 11 year old isn't in school and is coloring with crayons?
Good post OP! Hope the parents see this.
Chi Nanny,
do you still color with crayons? Your reading comprehension sucks.
I truly hate to partake in the distraction caused by the usual antics of BLB. Would I be upset if my child was the child in the post because the nanny put her in danger? The nanny did not put her in danger. These sort of people respond poorly and agressively regardless of the approach. Do you really think that someone who tries to crayon a child's arm is going to pause and say 'thank you mam'. No. The reason most people don't get involved is because these situations then turn on the person who dares to say something. This happens all the time. It doesn't have to be a nanny/child situation. Anyone who is going to behave like that with a child in a public place is especially a frightening prospect when imagining said nanny alone with child out of public.
Shame on you BLB for your divisive, derailment. And for not appreciating the common sense of the situation.
Do you really think that the right sort of challenge to said abusive behavior would affect a positive response from the nanny?
It would not!
Brooke,we will never know will we?
The OP did not give her a chance to react in any manner but a defensive one. As far as you shaming me? What is that all about? Because we see things differently does not mean I derailed this thread. I posted an opinion,that admmitedly differs from most. I suggest you look to those shaming others and name calling as far as derailing goes.
Some are content to be a sheep in the herd,which is fine for them, I simply see things different.
While you shame me keep in mind, I feel both nannies need to grow up and both could have handled the situation in a much more mature way...just like many posters here!
OP didn't say what age the boy was. She said it was 11 in the morning.
Many private schools in NYC are on spring break this week. I'm guessing the boy was below school age, and the OP's charge was school age, thus the mean nanny's question.
Good post OP.
People have you not guessed by now to just ignore Moniker? Please. Who ever it is they just like to make people flame. Well let's hope you know now.
I feel for this boy. If she does this to him in a public place, what on earth does she do when no one is around? I too would have confronted the "nanny" (I use the term loosely) that was ridiculous behavior. OP good job. Most people don't have the balls to step in. I'd go back and see if she's there again, and perhaps next time say something to the librarian.
The way she treated that child was WRONG no matter the rest of the debate.
j,
You don't have to be so mean...
I'm pretty sure chi nanny just misread the post. Was it really necessary to insult her reading comprehension? Be it a friendly little jab or a blatant slap in the face it's a little much don't you think?
And while I'm at it anyway, I'm wondering why some people are always so hostile on here? Just a friendly little "oh he wasn't 11, it was 11 am" would have worked just fine, I'm sure. Let's respectfully disagree and use respect towards each other instead of tossing insults around and questioning each others intelligence. It's annoying. And sad, considering we're supposed to be the adults. Right?
anyway.
good post, OP.
Good sighting. There was no reason for the nanny to hit the child on the head or dig a crayon in to his arm. Who would defend that crap?
GO watch your charges big butt!
OP- good post. I think you handled the situation appropriately. I commend you for seeing a situation harmful to a child and taking a stand. I for one wouldn't of had the guts to approach this person.
Unreal. That is so sickening. I'm all at once sorry you had to witness/experience that, yet, grateful because it led to this post and hopefully the parents of that poor little boy will read it. She seems like either a borderline psychotic or a drug addict. Maybe a mix of both?
you know, I am absolutely shocked at some of the posters here tonight.
First off..I have flamed NO-ONE. Westchester, I welcome you to show me where I have done so. Perhaps you need to slow down a little. All I have done is defend myself after being attacked several times over by several name calling,insult flinging posters because my veiw differs from theirs.So pls west chester..show me where I have flamed anyone!
I was very clear I did not approve of the nanny wacking the kid on the head.
As for the OP having balls for stepping in??? I find it arrogant the way many of you are concerning someone else's child.
I doubt very highly that any of you,who actually have children, would condone your nanny starting a verbal confrontation with a "cracked out looking,guant, sallow faced woman"when she had your child in tow. The OP clearly states that she was then worried the woman was possibly threatening her charge?? Are you kidding me?
Are you the same women who chastise nannies/mommies for being on the phone at the park while the charges run and play because they are busy talking and not watching the kids?? But its ok to confront a crack whore in the library??with "whats your problem?" no less???
Where are all of the 'but she's getting paid to care for a child" posters who wreak havoc when a nannyturns her back for one second,talks on the phone or chats up another nanny friend???
Is it truly ok to endanger your charge to look out for the welfare of another child??Because as a nanny,I care about all children but my charges are the ones that my boss pays me to look after and protect!
The op should have handled the situation in an adult manner..PERIOD!
I still defend my Original post..the Op acted just as immaturely as the nanny. Both of them need to grow up and until then ..neither should be raising children!
I hope both sets of parents read this and both nannies find a new line of work.
As for all the name calling and flaming..I am more than happy to be left alone but I will still continue to post my opinions. You are all welcome to skip over them.
sorry, but moniker has a point. No way in hell I'd confront someone while I had my charges with me. I would have asked the children's librarian if she knew the child, and maybe allerted library security to keep an eye on the nanny. I would have been more likely to try to snap a picture with my phone, than to actually confront this woman. If I truely thought the police would do anything, I would call the police, but in this situation, I'm afraid the police would laugh at me.
I don't care if the OP described her as a green-eyed meth freak with purple and gold highlights in her hair and no teeth. She was harming a child and that makes a good siting and that is what this blog is for.
Wow..BLB has annoyed me in the past but you guys are just being MEAN. She doesn't deserve this at all. Calm down everyone. It's like a witch hunt.
wow. just wow.
OP I probably would have responded just as you did because as you told the story of what you saw my anger belly started boiling! now rationally and calm minded i may have stated it better, but when you see things like this, "What's your problem?" is the first thing that comes to mind.
who hits a kid on the head with a newspaper?! its so unreal its laughable really.
YIKES!
Yea, good post OP. But I do think that you should not say: "What's your problem?" to people like that - she sounds a little loopy.
OP, I would have said, 'what's your damage, man"
I mean people don't have time to plan these things. If you read studies, any hesitation to act usually leads to a greater chance that there will be no action. So you either react at the gut level or you watch from the sidelines.
Personally, I'd rather act. Let the child see someone stand up for him or have a problem with the behavior. Then he's got more of a story to tell his parents.
OP, thanks for the post. I hope the parents see this.
I can't believe that people are giving you a hard time because you said "what's your problem?"
If I was losing it, and someone was coming over and said to me "what's your problem?", you bet I would not like it. But would I follow this person around and say what this nanny said to you? I don't think so.
ummm.... you have a problem with hitting a child like that, but you make the comment it's the way you hit a puppy... there is no difference! If you won't do it to a human then don't do it to an animal.
With that being said. It was a great post, you should have called the cops are made a report, that way the kids parents would have to be notified and she could be fired. This nanny started out trying to teach the boy a good lesson then it went really wrong. Poor kid... hopefully the parents will get a clue and rescue their boy.
I just re-read the post... why would an 11 year old not be able to keep himself from marking up the table? That doesn't make sense to me.
If you do it to a puppy, don't you use a newspaper? I am not saying anyone should. It's just a magazine is HARD.
My point is that people claim that striking a child in any way shape or form even spanking... has emotional damages to them, makes them crazy or depreseed or what ever new thing phsycologists want you to believe.
If you can emotionally damage a child from hitting, then you can certaintly emotionally damage an animal. There is no difference, between animals and humans... absolutly none. We are the same in every sense and I don't quite understand why people don't think the same. There is one difference though, most animals don't grow up to resent, to hate, to murder... only people can do that.
I don't want to distract from the matter at hand, that this poor boy was being abused, but I have a problem with people saying it's okay to strike an animal. just breaks my heart
Good job, OP! Obviously there's not much you can do now in terms of calling the police, but if you ever see her again I would definitely call them! What an awful, crazy "caregiver"!! Poor kid!
Phoenix, what are you talking about? There are actually quite a few differences between animals and humans. We speak. We wear clothes. We live in houses. We have jobs. We make money. We have opposable thumbs. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE animals but to equate humans and animals is just nonsensical! Are you telling me that if you had to go into a burning building and you only had time to save either a human being OR a dog, you would have to think twice about which one to save? Also, animals murder each other all the time without batting an eyelash. That's why humans are CIVILIZED. We have laws and etiquette to prevent us from acting on our ANIMAL instincts. Again, I adore animals, I've had many pets in my lifetime, and I would NEVER abuse an animal in any way, but this whole "animals are the same as humans" argument is a bunch of liberal BS.
let's get real:
your politics are showing.
So you are telling me that your soul is more important that the soal of another. Look beyond what we chose to do in our human form. Our soul chose to be human and their soul chose to be animal. They are no different than us. They do speak but you just can't understand them... can you speak to someone in Japan, Russia, do you know all the languages of the world? No. a person has to take the time to learn to speak to another, we just don't take the time to learn to listen to our animal friends. and if i had to make the choice between animals and human, it would be hard. i guess it would depend who ever is closer.
humans are not civilized in any way shape or form. humans have a superiority complex that makes them judgmental and stupid. Animals do not murder (well some cases yes... but the ratio between human killings like mass killings and animal murders... is so different, animals are not as vicious as we are). And they don't kill because of hair color, eye color or race. They kill to eat, to defend their family, and their home.
But I do thank you for you continued support. I do always enjoy fellow animal lovers. I just wish that people could be punished as harshly by the law as they do for killing a human when they kill an animal. but in another world perhaps.
I love animals too and I would never hurt them in order to teach them a lesson. It's neither a necessary nor effective training method. It's the same with kids. No one is saying that animals and children are equal in every way, just that neither deserves to be mistreated physically.
Hah! Humans are civilized. THAT'S funny! Humans define the word civilized to their liking. It's a notion created by humans and molded to fit the human criteria whenever necessary.
We wear pants and make money! We MUST be civilized and those lowly creatures existing on 4 legs are simple and barbaric and far inferior to us righteous and dignified humans.
Damn, we are such an arrogant and entitled species.
Well then why don't you hire a dog or a pig or a chicken to babysit your children, wash your dishes, do your laundry, renovate your house, or write up your project for work? Oh, that's right. Because they can't do those things. Or, if you prefer a religious take on the matter, why did God decide to send His son down to earth in the form of a human being? All creatures big and small are special, but humans are superior. I know none of you are going to get up and abandon our "uncivilized, barbaric" human society to run naked and live in the wild, and I know none of you could look at the faces of your darling children and say that you value your pet guinea pig just as much as you value them. Animals rock, but humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason.
Humans and animals aren't equal. But animals also aren't our inferiors and shouldn't be treated as such.
And I personally don't believe in your god and a huge portion of the population doesn't either, so to me, that's an incredibly flawed argument and really shouldn't be used as an example when making an intelligent and thought out point.
Jacqui,
It's so great to have you back!
Aw, thanks Jane! :-)
Then Jacqui, I suggest you kiss your milk, eggs, butter, cheese, meat products, leather shoes/coats/furniture, pets, and various cosmetics and medicines goodbye, because all of these things stem from the idea that animals are inferior to us. Unless you are living a 100% vegan lifestyle, and really, I do mean 100%, in which case, I apologize because that means you are really sticking to your principles. Also, considering Christianity is the most common religion and there are literally billions of Christians in the world, I think bringing religion into the discussion is fair. In no way did I mean to imply that that point of view should apply to everyone.
Also, Phoenix's comments are starting to remind me of Ingrid Newkirk's (president of PETA)remarks that chicken slaughtering for meat companies is comparable to the Holocaust, and that she would be opposed to an experiment done on rats even if she knew the experiment was going to result in a cure for AIDS.
No one is arguing for the maltreatment of animals. Obviously living creatures deserve to be treated with respect. But still, no one has answered my hypothetical questions. Would you look at your child and say that he has the same value to you as your PET? Would you save a dog from a burning building before you saved a human being, assuming you were familiar with neither? If, God forbid, you had a sick relative, would you be OPPOSED to an experiment done on rats that could possibly save your relative's life? Do you honestly feel the killing of six million chickens, however brutal, is the same as the murder of six million PEOPLE? If anyone can honestly answer "yes" to any of these questions, I will be incredibly disappointed and dumbfounded.
An interviewer once asked Mahatma Gandhi what he thought of western civilization. He replied that he thought it would be a good idea.
For those that don't know, our little pathetic Troll went on board today using everyone else's Moniker to leave her vile comments.
OMG, Big Butt wants everyone *else* to post with "no name calling or hurtling of derogatory adjectives".
I so needed that good laugh!
Hey Calimom..get off my back. My posts were directly in relation to posts aimed at me.The only reason you are butting in now is to troll me and stir up shit! Back off..your antagonism is NOT welcomed. You did not even approach the OP'S post..you just came here to cause problems!This is the very witch hunt mentioned above!
Skip my posts..ignore me but back the hell up off of me! I have a right to post without you stalking me every time I do so!
What happened to the comment moderation? How did CM's post get through? I can see it was very relevent to the post?!!??
Funny, but I thought that type of behavior was no longer allowed?
slaughtering animals is just like mass killings... it is evil. I do eat meat but i thank that animal for it's sacrafice before I do. I have a different religion than the others on here and I do have very PETA way of thinking. We are all blessed and we all have the right to live to our fullest potential.
BLB
I suppose Cali mom commented right after Moderation was turned off. We are doing our best to diffuse another problem we are having here without deleting every other single comment that upsets someone.
I hope you get the problem solved. Sorry to have bothered you.
Big Butt, of course you have the right to post whatever drivel you want here. And since it's a public forum, I have the right to respond. Don't want responses? Don't post on public forums. You can't pick and choose who gets to respond to you.
Psycho angry nanny = bad news, she should be fired. I had thought that would be obvious, but I don't mind spelling it out for you, if you need a little extra help to understand.
calimom, of courseI want responses,I just would like it if you responded in a grown up manner and were able to knock off all the BS name calling & reverse trolling that you do.! You follow me (and a few others)around blasting every statement I make..I would welcome it if it were atleast clever!
OR held some value not just child like name calling to piss me off!Which is exactly what it is.
You implied it was ironic I was asking for the name calling to stop..yes,I used to name call and troll.. But I was asked to stop by several regular posters and I stopped! You have been asked to stop but have not!So pls..get off my back. Change is hard...
You don't have to like what I have to say. I know my veiws are usually radically different than most. Just skip my post or debate it like an adult but the name calling and kiddie behavior really takes away from the blog!
There is a difference between responding and reacting!
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