Received Monday, January 26, 2009
Advice needed from parents with a long history of hiring or maintaining nannies.
I recently replaced our nanny from Sweden with an American nanny. Our nanny from Sweden was a friend of the family. She came to stay and live with us for a year, was like family to us and did a good job. She wasn't super. I know super because I've had super before. If you've ever had super, you know not many compare.
The problem is the replacement. The replacement nanny has all the good references and experience. She is however, making my life miserable. She makes snide comments to other nannies and mothers that have gotten back to me. She makes comments that sound complimentary but are in actuality digs. I work about 60 hours a week. The nanny is also very sneaky. I cannot say for certain, but I just get the feeling that she snoops around. I have had petty change come up missing. Sure, I could be wrong, but all of this goes hand and hand with the feeling that I cannot trust this person.
When she moved in, she told me she hated the color yellow. Yellow was the color of the nanny's room. She seemed so great, I felt we were about to get another Super Nanny, so I allowed her to pick out some linens and towels from a home catalogue and I had our painter paint her room seafoam green. The paint has literally just dried.
I don't think I am a crazy person, but this nanny makes me so uneasy. Part of the reason is she does have experience and has worked for many people, including celebrities. She will make random comments, careful not using names, but clearly she says these things to remind me that she knows people.
Now that I know I want to get rid of her and have nothing to go on other than a negative, scratch that, an overwhelmingly negative feeling; what is the best way to extricate her from our home and our family. The children are very fond of her but are not attached. She has only been here two months.
I want her to go quietly. Can I have her sign a confidentiality agreement after the fact? My husband thinks they can only be signed pre employment.
She is a live-in and has no family around here. What is the minimum amount of severance we can give her? And what is the amount you would suggest for someone who has been with us 8 weeks and makes $800 per week.
Any advice you can give me would be very helpful. I don't trust this person. I don't know why, but I just want her gone.