tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post4344070985268902022..comments2024-03-19T03:27:24.068-04:00Comments on I SAW YOUR NANNY: I Don't Know Why, But I Just Want Her Gone!Leigh Raymerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18210572527823459842noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-21129723405270113532009-02-05T12:00:00.000-05:002009-02-05T12:00:00.000-05:00It kills me how nannies like this just seem to get...It kills me how nannies like this just seem to get job after job..and this is the way they act? I have been looking for a job since May and have not been able to find one..and I'm a certified teacher...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-59696833750347384472009-02-01T06:10:00.000-05:002009-02-01T06:10:00.000-05:00Great comments, steven!Great comments, steven!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-48352131892034008742009-02-01T05:59:00.000-05:002009-02-01T05:59:00.000-05:00You repainted the room because she didn't like the...You repainted the room because she didn't like the color? Aside from the fact that I love yellow walls, I would never need such a thing. Where do I get an employer like you?<BR/><BR/>That said, here is my humble opinion:<BR/><BR/>1. Give her two weeks severance, three if uncomfortable, but no more. She's too new. You've been too generous as is.<BR/><BR/>2. Don't go into the change matter or anything akin to it, or the snide comments. Discussing them won't change anything.<BR/><BR/>3. Don't bother with the confidentiality agreement. One, she doesn't sound like she's the sort who would honor one and two, do you really want the hassle of trying to enforce it? <BR/><BR/>* Of course, I'll admit I don't see the use of a confidentiality agreement to begin with and would never sign one. On the other hand, anyone who knows me would know they would never need me to. Why is this so important to you?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-87468541383889220692009-01-30T02:13:00.000-05:002009-01-30T02:13:00.000-05:00Swanna Lake, YOU CRACK ME UP!plant stuff on the n...Swanna Lake, YOU CRACK ME UP!<BR/><BR/>plant stuff on the nanny? lol<BR/><BR/>i'm so completely naive about these nanny gabs! i'm in a large metro area and i know there are lots of other nannies around, but i guess i just keep to myself. craziness all this talk about a confidentiality agreement... its not like i memorized their S.S. #s!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-73481051229212072612009-01-29T11:49:00.000-05:002009-01-29T11:49:00.000-05:00Still confused,No. Duh. If she would tell you that...Still confused,<BR/>No. Duh. If she would tell you that, why not let the nanny run freely and gab about.<BR/><BR/>In these situations, you need to set your nanny up. Like plant drugs on her or catch her naked with an Alpaca and then use that to keep her silence. Trust me, it's the only way.<BR/><BR/>These nannies like to gab. Worse yet, many like to write stories. So cutting out their tongues won't work. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-52121724422557339292009-01-29T11:02:00.000-05:002009-01-29T11:02:00.000-05:00Can someone please explain to me what confidential...Can someone please explain to me what confidential information their employers were afraid would be disclosed???Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-73717223233236310752009-01-28T15:46:00.000-05:002009-01-28T15:46:00.000-05:00I have in the past signed a separation agreement. ...I have in the past signed a separation agreement. This in addition to the confidentiality agreement signed before I began working. I'm sure you could still have her sign one when you let her go. <BR/><BR/>This may be a situation where you want to let her go without notice. Perhaps on a Friday let her know she has the weekend to clear her room and remove herself from your residence. Give her the separation agreement after you let her know she is no longer needed. You don't need to give her a reason as she is an at will employee. <BR/><BR/>The separation agreement should state that everything she has witnessed/heard/etc/etc while employed is confidential and not to be disclosed/etc/etc. Receiving her severance is conditional of her signing the document and legal charges will be brought against her should she break the agreement. <BR/><BR/>As I said, give it to her on Friday when you tell her and give her a certain amount of time to return it (there may be a legal limit). She will then receive her severance check at her forwarding address. <BR/><BR/>You could provide her with a room at a hotel for a few days if you feel so kind. <BR/><BR/>As far as severance, she's only been employed for two months. Unless something was agreed when hiring, I would offer her two weeks pay and that's all. If you agreed to relocation expenses that as well. <BR/><BR/>In the end you don't want her in your home. YOUR HOME! You should not feel uncomfortable in your own home. She's an employee, nothing more, nothing less. <BR/><BR/>Send her on her merry way!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-42391646971756939352009-01-28T10:17:00.000-05:002009-01-28T10:17:00.000-05:00So OP, WHAT HAPPENED? Did you fire her, or what? ...So OP, WHAT HAPPENED? Did you fire her, or what? We are all waiting to hear. Thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-85011350349936944112009-01-28T06:24:00.000-05:002009-01-28T06:24:00.000-05:00I think there's a lot more to this story than OP h...I think there's a lot more to this story than OP has stated. Think about it, why would anyway be that worried about a confidentiality agreement? What could have gone on that she would be that concerned about keeping private?Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05095975261958113452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-91884938993913642292009-01-28T01:33:00.000-05:002009-01-28T01:33:00.000-05:00Confused, I get what you're saying. As far as I kn...Confused, I get what you're saying. As far as I know, a confidentiality agreement would only cover disclosure of certain facts. Not be a gag order prohibiting a person from expressing negative opinions (ie, my {ex}boss is SUCH a raving bitch!). Nor would it likely cover totally mundane, general family or parenting matters (ie, my {ex}boss is such an idiot f-ing bitch she doesn't even believe in giving time outs to the kids for bad behavior). I don't know, I could be wrong on this but unless you have a case against someone for actual slander, I'm not sure you can regulate how they talk about their job or their employers in general. <BR/><BR/>She does sound like a sneaky, snotty bitch who should NOT stay in the job of caring for OP's children. but unless there is some particular sensational info, big enough to cause scandal, or major financial details she could misuse, this just seems like a red herring. <BR/><BR/>Maybe the simplest plan would just be to say that you are experiencing some financial strain (as is virtually everyone right now!), and can no longer afford her services. If she begs to keep the job, offer a ridicuous pay cut that you KNOW she wouldn't accept, and that way, you aren't firing her, she's quitting. Unless your contract with her states a particular length of employment that you are guaranteeing her, I don't see how she could have any legal recourse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-64997127803900737092009-01-27T20:48:00.000-05:002009-01-27T20:48:00.000-05:00This is pretty simple OP. Have her sign a confiden...This is pretty simple OP. Have her sign a confidentiality agreement- she can't say no.<BR/><BR/>Then fire her 2 days later. <BR/><BR/>Ask your attorney friends or town council (what ever you call them) how long she has housing rights- every place is dif.<BR/><BR/>If it is 30 days- tell her she can stay until x-date but only if she works. If she chooses to leave- its her business. After her time there give her a weeks severence or whatever your contract states.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-53541580896164202542009-01-27T11:57:00.000-05:002009-01-27T11:57:00.000-05:00OP,I agree with a lot of the other folks who comme...OP,<BR/><BR/>I agree with a lot of the other folks who commented. Go with your gut, and if you don't trust her, the quicker you remove her from your home the better. Just be nice about it. If she don't have family around, you can take part in helping her find a place to live or perhaps doing what someone else suggested and paying for a couple weeks stay for her in a hotel until she finds something. The nanny market is dry right now. More nannies looking for families than families looking for nannies. Nonetheless, take care in the way you let her go if you have a gut wrenching feeling of not trusting her. You don't have to be super nice though. She was not with you that long.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-49997591673762872842009-01-27T10:46:00.000-05:002009-01-27T10:46:00.000-05:00I didn't have time to read all the comments but I ...I didn't have time to read all the comments but I am just curious why a family would want a confidentiality agreement. Why would anyone care what goes on in your house hold? Are you a celebrity? I'm not being coy I just don't get it. If I had a nanny what could she tell the world? My dog's name? The name and age of my kids? What are you worried about? (without giving away your secret lol)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-79100630647185206672009-01-27T00:56:00.000-05:002009-01-27T00:56:00.000-05:00I responded earlier (11:40am) and after reading so...I responded earlier (11:40am) and after reading some of the comments I wanted to add my 2 cents on something. Some people are suggesting you offer her money for signing the confidentiality agreement... I think that is seriously asking for trouble. To me it sounds like a desperate bribe, and while she may not even be interested now in your family's personal stuff, it might light a fire if she does hold any grudges. I would accept that she has probably already told anything worth telling (if anything at all), and that even if she were to sign something now, she could always claim that she talked before she signed it. I doubt she will be telling other people much anyways, and if she does, what could she possibly learn in 8 weeks that is so secretive. Learn your lesson from this, and just make sure to have one up front next time.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Put yourself in her shoes for this- what are the circumstances for her if/when you fire her. SHOULD she have severence? What did you agree upon in your nanny contract? Be the better person, but at the same time, understand that she has only worked for you for 2 months and don't let her take advantage of your family, whether you can afford to or not. Send her with a written verification of employment (so and so worked for me from ___ to ___), keeping it simple and unbiased.<BR/><BR/>Again though, if you think something is off, don't even let her work another 5 minutes. Good luck! Please keep us posted!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-72942095069168908852009-01-27T00:14:00.000-05:002009-01-27T00:14:00.000-05:00Sounds like your personalities just don't mesh wel...Sounds like your personalities just don't mesh well. She sounds like a snob with bad taste (seafoam green?!) and you sound hardworking and maybe a little picky too?<BR/><BR/>You really could just let her go - it's up to you if you want to pay her but I would think two weeks pay is good. $800 per week is a lot of money. Sorry I don't know about the confidentiality thing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-30980447798349660822009-01-26T23:52:00.000-05:002009-01-26T23:52:00.000-05:00I also don't think you should give her a reference...I also don't think you should give her a reference. Someone mentioned writing a verification of employment letter, but not a reference. If you wouldn't REFER her to a friend, why would you a stranger?<BR/><BR/>The idea of giving her notice seems a little crazy since you have no idea HOW she's going to respond to that and if you don't trust her now... But I do like what people are saying about giving her conditional severance based on a confidentiality agreement. And the hotel/housing funds would merely be an "extra" bonus, but not necessary. <BR/><BR/>Sorry you have to go through this! I hate nanny's who create a mis-trusting relationship with employers - gives us all a bad reputation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-48384816639387828812009-01-26T21:42:00.000-05:002009-01-26T21:42:00.000-05:00Go with your gut. Your children are THE MOST PRECI...Go with your gut. Your children are THE MOST PRECIOUS people to you. No one weighs more than their value to you.concernedmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13268925111623423272noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-51725972653390141242009-01-26T20:16:00.000-05:002009-01-26T20:16:00.000-05:00A P.S. to my previous post, if it were me I would ...A P.S. to my previous post, if it were me I would not give any severance to someone who I had to fire after 8 weeks who was in my view a terrible employee. <BR/><BR/>I think you should come up with your own number and only you can know what that would be, but I was thinking maybe $2ooo to offer in severance only if she signs the confidentiality agreement. I think this would be extremely generous, but more importantly it would be an amount she would hardly turn down, so would insure she signs it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-8043234121757374412009-01-26T20:13:00.000-05:002009-01-26T20:13:00.000-05:00OP, there is no question you should fire this nann...OP, there is no question you should fire this nanny as soon as you possibly can. Get rid of her. Your gut is always right. I'm sure it's just so much worse than your gut it telling you, even. <BR/><BR/>As for the confidentiality agreement, I have a couple of things to say. If you are NOT getting rid of her ASAP (and I would), then you could try telling her something like your husband's job has changed, or there will be certain changes upcoming in your personal life, and for these reasons you ask that she now sign this confidentiality agreement. See if she will sign. This is not such a big deal. I don't see why she would not sign if she were going to continue being your nanny, if you want her to sign. <BR/><BR/>If you are getting rid of her ASAP, like tomorrow, just tell her that you need her to sign this confidentiality agreement, and if she does, she will get a certain amount of severance, a generous amount. You think up the amount that you feel is generous, that you will offer her in exchange for signing the agreement. Be firm with the amount, but try to think in advance of the amount that she will not want to let go over signing this agreement. <BR/><BR/>Finally, someone brought up the idea of giving a reference. There is no way you should send her off with a reference letter. This would be ridiculous since you are firing her for doing things she should not be doing (being sneaky, making comments, etc.). <BR/><BR/>Feel free to answer phone calls from her potential future employers if you like, but tell it like it is, that you let her go because she did not meet your most basic expectations. <BR/><BR/>Please come back on here and tell us what you did and how things went with this nanny!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-66557206057699571662009-01-26T19:02:00.000-05:002009-01-26T19:02:00.000-05:00That feeling in your gut? Go with it. Dump her i...That feeling in your gut? Go with it. Dump her if you do not trust her. Give her severance and be glad she is out of your life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-39709719514685259172009-01-26T18:30:00.000-05:002009-01-26T18:30:00.000-05:00Excellent point, NIC. I wouldn't want to rock the ...Excellent point, NIC. I wouldn't want to rock the boat that quick, either. Maybe after a settling in period of several weeks or even months, but certainly not within 3 weeks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-6486526000201699922009-01-26T18:11:00.000-05:002009-01-26T18:11:00.000-05:00Nanny in Charge, OP may have brought up the room p...Nanny in Charge, OP may have brought up the room painting as a red flag she may have gotten initially or to show us how she was trying to be a good employer up front. As a nanny, I personally would not complain about the wall color, even if it was a hideous color, up front. That stuff can be worked out later on.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-59172118675765742922009-01-26T16:37:00.001-05:002009-01-26T16:37:00.001-05:00I think sometimes a family and a nanny will just n...I think sometimes a family and a nanny will just not fit right together. There doesn't have to be some big reason or even a bunch of little reasons. The chemistry, so to speak, just might not be there and I don't think you should employ someone who you just don't like. If you don't like her, she probably doesn't like your family very much either.<BR/><BR/>I don't however, get why you brought up the room painting? Why exactly did you bring that up?<BR/><BR/>I would give her 2 weeks notice and 1 weeks severance. <BR/><BR/>Also, why do you need a confidentiality agreement? What do you think she'll say to other people that you wouldn't want them to know? Just wanted to get the facts straight here :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-10521514064304340102009-01-26T16:37:00.000-05:002009-01-26T16:37:00.000-05:00You are definitely in a tough spot, OP. I don't th...You are definitely in a tough spot, OP. I don't think I could leave a nanny I have trust issues with caring for my kids, like Nanny Miranda said.<BR/><BR/>To get a confidentiality agreement (or at least try to) I would ask her to sign it in order to get a severance from you. If she won't sign it, let her know you will cut it in 1/2.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32916951.post-18904455619210588652009-01-26T16:19:00.000-05:002009-01-26T16:19:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com