Received Saturday, September 13, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I have a question for nannies, and people who employ nannies.
Nannies have you ever received severance pay, a gift, or even a card when your nanny job ended?
Employers have you ever given anything to show your nanny your appreciation at the end of her employment?
I am asking this because I have been working part-time with 2 families, one for over a year now, and the other for 9 months. The family I have been with a year is moving back east and will no longer be needing my services here. My last day was yesterday and the family didn't give me anything. No note, card, severance pay, nothing. I was really hurt that after 15 months together, and with them ending my employment, and with only 2 weeks notice, that they would give me severance pay, or at least a heartfelt note. But nothing.
Then today I go into my other job that I have been at 9 months. I knew they would be using me less because they were having some financial difficulties, but when I went to leave today and mom just casually said, "We'll call you when we need you again. Although I'm not sure when that would be." I was shocked! I had no clue she didn't even plan on using me bi-weekly as we had discussed. And of course, I got nothing. Am I just being overly sensitive? I've always had employers in the past give me severance, an amazing reference, and a heartfelt note about how much they appreciated me and love me. Is that not normal?
16 comments:
Although I totally agree with you, I'm sick of hearing about this on this site. Please look under the archives if you want opinions on this situation. I mean, we had a looong thread about this very topic something like a week ago. Why is there a need to post the same exact topics over and over?
Look, if you really want the opinions, AGAIN, of everyone, I'll just tell you what you're going to hear:
1) It's in bad taste to EXPECT gifts.
2) Maybe they just forgot.
3) If they were having financial troubles then you really shouldn't have expected anything.
4) Yes, a card would have been nice but some people just aren't thoughtful like that and it's not their fault.
5) If you want a reference, ask them for it.
6) Don't expect anything that isn't in the contract!
Sorry to be so harsh, I just really think this topic needs to be blacklisted.
Not Again,
I know this Topic was just hashed out a week ago, but we want to respect each Submission and post it so that they can get personalized advice for their problem.
Thank you for your comment. :)
I think it's important to post these rants because it could give a hint to parents who genuinely don't realize that they are not being as thoughtful as they can be.
OP, everyone wants to feel appreciated, and I have to say I would feel the same in your shoes! So sorry this happened to you. You do deserve better!
hugs!
Maybe "normal" depends on the area. Where I am when an employer terminates an employee they no longer need, rather than for cause, normal is some severance, and the offer of a reference . If the relationship between the family and the nanny has been a warm one, a card expressing appreciation and maybe a gift from the children might also be given.
You weren't with either family for long, and were part time, so I don't think it is so terrible that they didn't offer severance, although the second family should have given you some, since they didn't give you any notice. What I do think is terrible is that they didn't at least take a couple of minutes to write a card thanking you.
It is understandable that you are hurt, but it doesn't mean you didn't do a good job, or weren't appreciated. Some employers are just clueless.
hey not again,
how is it not their fault if they are not that thoughtful? after all, as nannies we put our hearts into what we do. our whole job is to be thoughtful.
i understand why you are sad, op. no, you're not being overly sensitive. i mean, it's not like you are going to say, "where's my goodbye gift, bitches?!" even though i am sure that's how you feel.
focus on your next job because when you find a truly good family, you will feel rewarded beyond your expectations in emotional and monetary ways. it will make up for how you feel now.
hugs!
I don't think they are really obligated although it is nice to recieve a note or some extra money once in a while to show appreciation.
At my first nanny job in a wealthy Boston suburb, where I worked part time (help out in the morning from 7-9:30 every day, spend one afternoon a week with the kids and one date night a week) the parents were very generous, remembering my birthday with money, celebrating my wedding with a generous check, and when I left they asked me if it was okay if they gave me a parting bonus. I realize now that this is not the norm and I just struck it lucky with such generous employers.
My first full-time nanny job (in Rhode Island) also had generous employers who celebrated my holidays with gifts and recognized my hard work with raises every six months.
My current employers (in Brooklyn), for whom I have worked nearly two years, gave me a Christmas gift the first year, a Christmas bonus the second. I have not received a raise even though I asked for one, deserved one, and they could afford it, and they have ignored my birthdays. So now that I can tell they don't care to appreciate my hard work, I still take excellent care of the children, but because I don't feel valued I do not do a lick more than my contract states.
Employers, it is so important to reward hard work and loyalty!!! It inspires us to work harder and enables us to come to work smiling and feeling valued and not looking at craigslist ads each night and waiting for the right time to leave.
I also meant to say that while my second family was far less well-off than numbers 1 and 3, they more than made up for that in their everyday kindness and abundance of love. When I moved away they took my husband and me out for a wonderful goodbye brunch. We have a great relationship and I still visit once in a while to see how the kids have grown.
I always gave little gifts randomly. Things like a surprise manicure at a nice spa, movie tickets or even just a note with candy. These were just little shows of appreciation and it had the benefit of boosting their confidence as well.
7:50 PM
RE-POST
not again,
sure it is in bad taste. But my employers were generous when I left, after 4 years to get married. They gave me the nanny car (which they "sold" to me for $1), a fendi bag, and 10,000 to help out with our wedding and honeymoon. Was I expecting it? No way. But if I would have left and received nothing, I think my feelings would have been hurt. The nicest thing I left with was a blank greeting card filled with my boss's writing, thanking me for everything and then for many things specifically. It is among my most treasured possessions and reminds me that I made a worthy contribution and was part of something wonderful for those 4 years. Not everyone can afford a gift, but please employers, if you are reading this, do not underestimate the value of a handwritten thank you card.
I definitely don't think you should be offended. I'm not sure about the severance thing, although I'm kind of surprised that you would expect it from a part-time nanny job, but I don't think it is strange or insensitive that they didn't get you a gift or a card. I'm sure you did a great job, but some people just don't think about that kind of stuff.
"Just not thinking about that kind of stuff" is pretty much the definition of insensitive.
Sorry about the double post, I was not aware of the other post. But, I did go through and read that one.
I guess I should have made it a rant and gone into a little more back story. The first position was part time, yet I worked 10 hour days, so it ended up being about 30 hours a week. Which isn't quite full time, but close. I had also previously worked for them full time for 6 months when their twins were first born. After that the mom was able to handle the twins on her own, but when she was put on bed rest in the hospital in the last month of her pregnancy I came back to help out. So, if you add up all the time I have been with them on and off for over 3 years, as I babysat for them too when the twins were growing up.
I also had a contract with them in which I had a week paid vacation, and paid vacation whenever they went away, or didn't need me, such as holidays. I was paid on the books and we had a formal written contract. I know most "regular" jobs pay severance when letting a beloved employee go, and figured my situation would be no different. Yet, I got no severance. Which bugged me, but what HURT me was that they didn't give me a card or note either.
A note, or hand made card cost nothing, just a little bit of time, yet it would have made a world of difference in how I felt.
They aren't moving for another month, and I am still going to watch the kids for them one more time, so hopefully they will still redeem themselves. Thanks for the advice!
I can understand that you don´t feel appreciated, but I don´t think you should take it so personal.
"Just not thinking about that kind of stuff" is pretty much the definition of insensitive."
I used to think so to, but people show appreciation in different ways. Even if they didn´t buy you any gift, I am sure that you meant a lot to them. Sometimes a smile means more than a thousand gifts :)
I think that some families have the money to show appreciation with gifts.. Some don't. Those families that don't should most definitely take a few minutes to write you a note, with maybe a printed picture of the children. As their nanny you were taking care of their most priced possession.. How was your relationship with them?
My first job as a nanny I started in Sep, my birthday was in October, they gave me Hunter Boot Socks, a card with the childrens names, pajamas from Nordstrom and a cookie cake.. When mom.came home they sang Happy Birthday!! I received a $500 Holiday bonus after only being with them since September. I thought that was nice and was caught by surprise, I was not expecting it.. The kids loved me and I loved them.. However, our relationship turned sour when I felt I was being asked to do things outside of our contract. I spoke to them and they started coming home on time and I only did what I was hired to do. They were not happy though, they wanted two for one.. Nanny and Housekeeper. So when they decided to move to California (from Boston). They planned it all without letting me know and gave me a 2 week notice, less than two weeks because Monday was a holiday.. & they didn't even tell me, the kids did.
Now my current family is wonderful.. We have a great relationship, I am their nanny and they understand that my job is very important. They want the vest for their daughter and they could afford it. They leave me cookies, candy, lunch etc randomly throughout the week. I have been employed with them since October 2011, & I received a birthday gift card and perfume with card nicely wrapped, two bonuses (1at Christmas and another in March-after6 months of employment). Then they randomly gave me a $100 bill with my regular paycheck and said they would give me 9 more, 1 each week to equal $1000 as another bonus! Next month will be a year with them and our contract is up. We already spoke, they want to keep me and I wouldn't have it any other way. Aside from the money extras, they are the sweetest, onvited me and my family to.the baby girls first birthday. They are always in a great mood, are very polite with me, I never work a full 40 hour week and still get paid the same. I got my car towed one time from theit street and they paid for it, she insisted, she even drove me to get it!! I forget they have season tickets to just about every sporting event and gave me and my boyfriend playoff.tickets to the Celtics! They could've given them to anyone else, but they chose me.
I ranted about my family because I feel lucky.. Definitely ask for a reference letter :)
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