Too much for mom to handle?

Received Friday, August 8, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
The family I work for had a baby. I watch the 2 yr old 3 days of week since mom is off. I asked for a day off and the mother was not happy .She asked if I could trade Friday for Thursday. Am I wrong to tell her, "no I need the day off" ? She is home all day with the newborn. On the days I don't have the 2 yr old Grandma comes over. The 2 yr old has regressed in potty training for her but still goes for me. I feel mom needs to spend alone time with her.


kc said...

I would say something casually to the mom like, "Maybe [2 year old] would enjoy spending a day or two alone with you, and [newborn] and Grandma could spend some time together sometime soon." You could also possibly explain to the mom what, in detail, you do when the 2 year old goes potty... what you say, etc. That might help, just make sure you don't do it condescendingly (sp?).

Also, it's been my experience with nannying that you don't "ask" for the day off, you tell, as long as it is reasonably in advance (I would say at least 2 weeks). If you can't do that, then it's perfectly reasonable of the mom to ask you to switch days. And if you say no, well, if you don't have some life-threatening reason or something terribly important to do, then expect your pay to be docked (unless you have vaca days with pay, which it sounds like you don't). Even if you are on a strict schedule/salary and need a specific day off, I would always offer to make it up another day during the week if you can, or possibly the next week after that. It's really only fair.

v said...

You're right about the alone time with mom.
I too would be in somewhat the same situation later down this year. I have been potty training my two year old and she does wonderfully for me but not for mom and dad.
Do you especially need the day off for the alone time with mom? If so, then the day shouldn't really matter.
If not and you have your own personal business to do on that particular day, and grandma would be there to help, she should be lenient.
Maybe she's scared of not having you around and having a monster to deal with all by herelf.


kathleencares said...

I don't think you're wrong to tell her no. If you need a day off and you give her enough notice, then she needs to figure it out. These are her children after all.

macaroniandcheese said...

This reminds me of a family I interviewed with once. I was to care for their 2 year old and the mum would care for the baby twins.

The job was 4 days a week from 7.30a.m.- 7p.m. Her parents would help out 1 day a week. I requested to leave at 6.30p.m. 2 days a week because of a compulsory course I had to attend. The mother flipped out as she'd be completely alone until the dad arrived home at 7!

I knew then this wasn't the family for me. To make it worse, the next day, they offered me a job and told me the 'salary' . $500 a MONTH. They had a beautiful house in an expensive area but would only pay $500 a month for 46 hours a week...