In 1999, the latest year for which totals have been finalized, there were about 581,000 children in foster care in the United States. Twenty-two percent of these children; about 127,000 kids, were available for adoption.
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19 comments:
Awesome, Jane!
Not so easy as it may seem to adopt from the US fostercare system.
You're right, it's not easy. But anything worth having is worth working for.
"not easy" is an understatment! I live in Ohio...where we must attend 3 WEEKS of classes, I don't think they should just throw me a kid with no training...BUT how am I (an in home daycare) and my hubby (a engineer) supposed to get out of work everyday for 3 weeks? Granted they are evening classes, but I work till six and they start earlier than that...SO now I would have to inform 7 families that they need to pick up early everyday for 3 weeks, wheich means to get to me, they have to leave their jobs even earlier!!! And being as my hubby is the only one on shift that does what he does...there's no cover. Thats NOT even taking into effect the lost wages! Then ohio wants to tell me that because I do in home daycare I have to have a special wavier form because I have to verify the kids living arrangements...HELLO you have kids in foster care, with no one I CAN be with them ALL day!!!! WTF! It is sooooo not easy to adopt...not at all!
i have a friend who has been working to adopt her current foster son, and it's been nothing but a huge nightmare. i honestly don't know how she does it. i'd have had some sort of breakdown by now. i always used to have so much respect for people who chose the filed of social work, but after knowing what my friend has gone through, i now believe that a large proportion of them are completely warped and/or incompetent.
I went through ten weeks of classes, which were located over one hour's drive from my home. It was a logistic nightmare to schedule sitters/work etc. I then fostered children and adopted one of them...the adoption process was horrific, judges who quit mid trial, lawyers who quit mid trial, re-arranging of social workers, each time resulting in a new trial and a standard six month wait. I have seen social workers lie and forge documents, you name it. It was one of the most frustrating, hair pulling experiences we ever had to deal with. But you know what? We are now the parents of a beautiful daughter who brings us more joy on a daily basis that easily outweighs all the red tape state laws....she is ours for life and was worth every minute.
I am not saying that I do not understand that the end result would be amazing...We still intend to foster and adopt, but even though we are ready to add to the family now, all this red tape is pushing us back a year...And the only people the system is screwing is those children. If the have all these children needing homes, why dothey make this so difficult?
The reason it is so hard to get to foster children is to weed out those who are truley not dedicated or commited to taking in foster children. If you can't make it to one class for 3 weeks, how can you possibly have a flexible enough schedule to manage care for a foster child with issues? Taking in a foster child can be wonderful and a blessing, but it is not easy and requires alot of time. Time for weekly therapy, doctors appts, psychiatrist appts, biological family visits, court dates, after school programs, meetings with social workers.... States want to make sure people have that kind of time before actually putting a child in the home. Plus there is ALOT to learn about before actually taking in a child.
Evening classes that are everyday for 3 weeks ARE a problem. It has nothing to do with our future dedication to a child OR our inability to be un-flexable. I OWN a daycare, an in home daycare, A foster child would be IN MY care for the entire day, no need for a sitter OR daycare. SO isn't this the type of family the state should want?? Also my husband works shifts . He only works 15 days a month...AND half are midnight so we have TONS of flexability for doctors appointments... But working a 7-7 am or pm shift means that he would have to report off EVERY day he is scheduled in that 3 weeks. And I have parents who work in Pittsburgh an hour away...so for me to be at a 6:00 class my parents would have to relieve me by 5:30 which means they have to leave work at 4:30 each day at the latest...for THREE weeks!!! How am I supposed to make that work? I can manage with ease a child but not the classes that are required. They need to have more times, like late evening and weekend.
Mimi
You are right, evening/weekend classes would really help the foster care shortage. But the above poster raises excellent points---how will you get the child to biological visits, etc, if you run a home business? Won't that same problem come up for you then? I applaud your interest in the foster care sysytem and wish there were more people like you. But you will not be able to "manage with ease a child"---foster children have needs that surpass a typical daycare/birth child. Maybe at some point you will be able to swing the classes or maybe they can offer another time frame--but you will still need time during the day to dedicate to the foster child. All the best to you; I think it's great that you looked into the situation.
cm
I found your comment to be really insensitive. Surely you understand a parent that would be as dedicated as mimi, would have extenuating circumstances preventing her from taking the classes? Just because they would be a conflict of schedule, doesn't mean they would be "weeding" out another deadbeat parent.
cm and kateob
Let me repeat what I had previously said..I work from home..threrfore I WILL BE HOME all day with a child. Although I cannot leave during the day my husband can. Being that he works 15 days a month and 4 of those are weekends when I am not working, so I am then free to go. So, as I stare at his schedule in front of me there is one day per week that the child could be with me still, but we couldn't schedule any appointments...is not being available 5 days a month too much? I do have a mother in law who is pretty reliable and IF needed I could have her be "hall monitor" at naptime and I could run to the appointments which would probably knock us down to 3 days a month where we couldn't have any appointments....I think thats very open.
Secondly I am offended that not even knowing me you assume that I cannot "handle a child with ease". I sooo beg to differ. I worked for 2 years on a childrens surgical floor when I was in HIGH SCHOOL...as a high schooler I was able to preform as a surgical recovery tech...which was everything from inserting cath's to EKG's to blood sugar sampling....you name it, we did it. Then compound that with the 3 years of being a nanny to a child going thru chemo, clearing a pic line daily, injecting this meds sub-cu and not to mention the million other side effects...lets add the fact that I myself have had more than a life's worth of testing and surgery...my 2 year run as a nanny to premature triplets, and now currently as at home provider to a severely asthmatic child and a child with epilepsy...whatever medical problems they have I know I can handle it...trust me. And as far as emotional needs unless your a psychologist, 3 weeks of training MIGHT/ WILL give me a few different approaches BUT I fail to believe in 3 weeks they will be able to prepare me to deal with ALL emotional needs...it's going to be a learning experience. But as a emotionally stable couple with a huge family ready to love and support us...I am SURE that I could "handle a child with ease"
Don't be so quick to judge
I love your post mimi, I hope evrything works out for you.
mimi, I was a foster mom to a wonderful boy for ten years.
I am sure your adoption will happen. It is a lot of red tape, a lot of hard work,much dedication and very rewarding.! You are going to be terrific at it! Don't give up! Any child would be lucky to be a part of such a large and loving family.Best of luck to you and your husband.
I am not judging and did not attack you? I work in the system and I was just saying the effort and time it takes to care for a foster child. I am not saying you should have been 'weeded out' of the bunch. I am just saying this is a reason why they have such intense and long trainings to become a foster parent. And you are right there are special waivers if you have an in-home daycare. The reason being these children need alot of special one-on-one attention. I am NOT trying to discourage you. I would point out one thing to think about though... Many, if not the the majority of foster children have been sexually abused at some point before they come into care or at least witnessed innapropriate conduct. This puts them at HUGE risks to perpetrate other children. Most sexual abuse is not even disclosed until they are in your home and even years later. You could possibly be putting the other children in the home/daycare at risk if this happens.
Mimi
If you are going into the foster care system you are going to need a thicker skin than that....chill.
dys- what is that? dept. of youth services or dysfunctional?
mimi has every right to defend herself. and I think she's doing a great job. she hasn't lost her cool at all. YOU need to chill.
Are you people resorting to name calling? Now that is what is dysfunctional....come on, this is a site for grown ups, let's get along...
Mom1
This is for you, dear.
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