Received Saturday, August 16, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
My problem isnt about a nanny because I am a nanny. Perspective is probably what I need.
I am in a hard position because sometimes I think I am making a bigger deal of something that isnt there. I dont even know. I work for someone who has kind of a lot of friends and has lots of plans on the calendar. Her husband isnt in the picture and even though he is the childrens father I never met him but saw pictures of him. He lives in London but they are all American.
The woman is a good boss to me. She pays me on time and brings me some treats sometimes. She ordered a jacket by internet and when it came she didnt like it and she just said 'you can have it if you want it'. It was a really pretty and expensive jacket. She is a stay at home mom. Money isnt a problem for her. Even though shes home she doesnt get in my way. She lets me do my job and appreciates what I do.
Here is the problem. The woman has a meanness to her about her kids. She is never mean to them. She treats them regular and nice, but sometimes if it is something physical she can be mean but not abusive. I will have to give examples of what I mean. When the 5 year old was getting out of the car and I was on the other side unbuckling the two year old, the 5 year old fell. Fell right out of the backseat and landed on the pavement. I couldnt see from my angle until I went to the other side. I was shocked to see the boy on his back with his arm under him because the mom who saw the whole thing was laughing. She was laughing loud and hard. Even when she saw me rush to him and bend down and give him comfort, she was still laughing. That is one example. Another example is when the two year old skinned his knees on the sidewalk. I sat him on the counter in the bathroom and was cleaning his knees off with a wet washcloth. The mom came in the bathroom and in one fast move she opened a bottle of alchohol and poured it on his knees. She poured so much it made a mess on his legs, got on his socks and even burned my eyes. But of course, it burned his cut and he started crying. Her response was to chuckle.
This mom does hug her kids too. And she tells them she loves them, but when they get hurt, she is very strange. Its not like a dad who just wants his kids to be toughened up. It's something sicker. When something happens I will be upset with what happened and I guess the word is put off, but then everything continues normal. Until the next time she does something like that.
Another thing that happened more than once is that one of the children will be constipated. It is usually the two year old. I will say to her, maybe you can pick up some prune juice, but she never does those methods. She makes the kids take castor oil right away. She is the mom so I can just suggest. Since I noticed this, I try to not tell her if they are constipated and just make sure they eat lots of applesauce and juices. She combs the boys hair and unless you comb the boys hair yourself too, you might not know that there is no reason for them to be wincing and whining. She is rough on their heads with a hard man's comb when she doesnt have to be. I comb their hair and they dont give me any problems. I am most concerned with how she laughs when the kids get hurt. They never have been seriously hurt so this is why I need perspective.
Maybe they fell off a swing or one of them ran over the other boy's foot with a push bike.
Am I overreacting? If anyone else notices anything wrong with this mom, they sure dont let on. I wish I could say "thats not funny" or "I dont find that funny" but she is my boss and they are her kids. And like I said, it isnt ever anything where they are really hurt, its more like shut a hand in a door or choked on a piece of pizza. The six year old does know something. The last time he hit his head on a door frame, I was in the room with him. I got up and went to him and said "owwww, are you okay" and I patted his head. He looked at me, he rubbed his head and gave me a hug. No cry or no tears, but I really think he really just got it.