Sunday

Nanny feels put off by Family that acts put out

Received Sunday, August 17, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
This is for the perspective and opinion post. I nanny for a family and have been with them for 2 years. Lately (probably for the last 6-8 months) I have been spending my money on groceries, dry cleaning, party gifts for the children etc and they later reimburse me. When I ask for money or a credit card they sometimes act put out and seem to expect me to pay and then they will pay me back. I do not believe I should be paying for these items at all. They do pay me back everything at the end of the week but I don't think this is appropriate. I would like feedback from parents and nannies. Thanks.

17 comments:

nannyinmanhattan said...

Stop purchasing things out of your own money. THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO PROVIDE SOME KIND OF ALLOWANCE/PETTY CASH OF SOME SORT.
Only then would they realize the error of their ways and act accordingly.
You have to undo spoiling them.

Kaitlyn & Daniel said...

I would definitely refuse to buy anything else until they give you cash or a credit card. If they tell/ask you to do something, simply say, "Sorry, but I'm not carrying any cash or my debit card today. If you want me to do that for you, I'll need some money." If you do that enough, hopefully they will take a clue.

edith said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sdmom said...

Oh my, what does someone's ethnicity have to do with it? Cheapskates come in every color of the rainbow and from every point on the globe.

Casey said...

I would tell them you don't have any money, like the above posters stated, and that should take care of the problem.

firsttimecaller said...

Hey Edith...
they pay her back. How is that cheap?
Nanny sounds like a martyr pita.

duh said...

Hey firsttimecaller,

How would you like to go out to eat tonight, and oops, you don't have enough money to get that big steak because this week you spent all your spare money buying shit for your employers and you haven't been paid back yet?

Metronanny said...

I lay out money all the time for outings and errands and get reimbursed. it's not a problem for me to do it.

While it's presumptuous of the parents to expect the nanny to be able to do this, it sounds to me like she never made it clear from the beginning that she wanted money in advance or perhaps it wasn't an issue for this nanny at first? Either way just be straightforward and tell them that it's no longer possible for you to lay money out of pocket and be reimbursed later. I must say when I worked in an office I used to lay out money all the time for things and then expense it. it's not uncommon.

snarkymama said...

I think they should leave you with pocket money for their errands at the start of the week. Next time they ask you to pay for something tell them you can't so could they give you the money up front. Tell them you do not want to use your money during the week because it leaves you short for your own needs. Stand up for yourself, likely they don't get it, tell them how you feel.

anonnomore said...

edith--I take exception to the remark about ethnicity and think the moderator should remove your comment. It is racist and totally uncalled for.

anonnomaore said...

Thanks mods!

nyc mom said...

Of course they should have some kind of petty cash or credit card available. However, I agree with metronanny that it just sounds like they have gotten comfortable and a bit lazy with you since you mention you have worked for them for two years, but have only had this problem for 6-8 months. Sounds like you have all just fallen into this pattern and no ill intent is meant since they reimburse you in full every week. Just bring the issue up directly and nicely explain that it is a financial hardship for you. My nanny has occasionally paid for ice cream or taxi fare if she forgets to take petty cash or it has run out and I haven't noticed. It doesn't happen often, but I've never thought of it as a big deal. However, I also know she does not live paycheck-to-paycheck so it hasn't been an issue. Many jobs involve employees paying for things out of their own pocket and getting reimbured. The idea of submitting expenses for reimbursement is a common one. For my husband's job we pay for all travel, airfare, hotels, food up front and get reimbursed. Again, I'm not saying this is the best way to set up the nanny/employer petty cash, just that it does not necessarily reflect your employers as being stingy or unfair.

I think the bigger concern from your post is that you feel upset and mistreated because of this. I would think that if you had a great relationship with your employer in other ways, this probably wouldn't bother you as much and you would have felt comfortable addressing it with them a while ago. I wonder if this is a symptom of a bigger problem with the job in general.

OP said...

OP here. There are other problems yes, nyc mom. It does not normally cause financial hardship for me but there are times when my bank account is low and shelling out 100+$ for the weeks grocery bill as well as 10$ for bagels, 40-50$ for dry cleaning etc is not really easy for me. They were very good about giving me a credit card in the beginning and have just seemed to slack off a bit. I was just really wondering if this happens a lot, as it has never really happened in other nanny positions for me.
I will be sure to ask from now on for a credit card when I feel I am unable to put the money out and have to wait until the end of the week to get it back. Thanks all.

consistency said...

Hey OP,
Just a thought- you need consistency. I would not ask for a CC only when you need the money. I would ask for it from now on. Consistency just helps to keep everyone on the same page.

LindaLou said...

they need to set you up with a credit card or ample petty cash. it's not right that they are expecting you to pay large grocery and dry cleaning bills on a reimbursement basis. i could understand if it were just small incidentals for the children like zoo admission or ice cream, but i don't think a considerate employer should expect you to take on the expenses of running the household and not repay you until the end of the week.

kathleencares said...

I would just tell them that you don't have the money to cover the expenses until the end of the week. Tell them you need a credit card or cash at the beginning of the week. I'm sure they will understand. And it is their problem if they don't. I think you are making a totally reasonable request!

Jersey Nanny said...

I would do what the above poster says and just tell them nicely your not in a position where you can advance money and wait for them to pay you back at the end of the week. I had this problem with my family and then they got me a credit card.