I have never written before but I feel compelled today because I saw two sad events I hope the moms find out about.1) Between 9 and 9:30 am on Thursday, 6/12, I rode the 71 bus up Union Street from 4th Avenue to Grand Army Plaza across from a nanny and a little boy. The nanny was a heavyset African American woman with a large tattoo on her upper arm that said a persons name, maybe Jesse, in dark ink. The boy was about 3, with plaid shorts and straight light brown hair. The nanny neither acknowledged nor noticed the boy the entire time. She slept most of the trip or stared straight ahead, arms and legs crossed and a "don't mess with me" vibe. The little boy didn't even try to talk to her, just sat there.
2) At the Central Library on Grand Army Plaza, two nannies in the 3rd floor dining room at about 12:30. One nanny was in charge of one little girl, maybe a year old, who stayed strapped in the stroller the whole time. The other nanny watched a fair haired, blue eyed boy about 4 or 5 and his sister, about 2; she may be adopted, maybe from South America? The nannies were either talking to each other or on their cell phones the whole time. The brother and sister were running around unattended. The boy was going from table to table, pouring salt on his palm and then licking it off.
When the nanny finally noticed, she SCREAMED at him across the room and then grabbed him very roughly and yelled right into his face. Then she ignored him again for a few minutes. At one point, he seemed to disappear from the room, which the nanny didn't notice. By the way he responded to her, it seemed he disliked her and was scared of her. Then, she sat the sister in her stroller and yelled at her to "Strap Up" (buckle hereself in) over and over. The other nanny then joined in to yell at the little girl. These are not nice women, they should not be allowed to watch your children. They may tell you they're taking those kids to the library, but they just sat there in the restaurant.
44 comments:
That second incident sounds horrible. I hope the parents do read this. That's dangerous to allow the little girl to buckle her own self in the stroller, too!
As for the first incident, well, I like to think optimistically--hopefully the little boy was in a time-out or something like that.
Neither one of these Nannies seemed like they were interested in engaging the children.
What happened to singing a silly song, or reading a book to a child?
These children are way under stimulated, and probably feeling neglected.
There is no reason a Nanny like this should be taking care of a child, and if their Parents were checking up on their children, she wouldn't be.
These disgusting so called nannies should find themselves new jobs which do not involve children.
If one should set about a day with the sole purpose of looking for bad nanny "sightings" in the NYC area, in an 8 hour day how many "sightings" would that person have found?
I think it would be easier to document good nanny "sightings". There are some loathsome people pushing prams around my town.
Egan
Put them out there then!
(Is your first name Garry?)
I'm a mom and I don't see anything wrong with either of these situations. Frankly, after your assessment that a nanny was bad not to engage her charge on the bus (do you really engage YOUR kid 24/7?) I doubt your description of the second too. So... the kid was running around while the caregiver was talking to a grown up. The kid got too far away and the nanny yelled. Big deal.
Do you even have kids?
11:17 really? Would you feel ok if the children in question here turned out to be yours?
mom
I think she'd be just fine. I can picture her right now, not engaging her kids, and sitting on the couch eating a bag of Doritos and watching Maury.
Yes, that's correct. Obviously because I do not engage my daughter every second of the day I am a "lower class"* person who eats doritos and watches Maury. Maury who, by the way? I don't even watch the View, although I understand that's more socially acceptable in your circle.
Have you never sat on the bus and looked out the window? Have you never been tired after a day of activities? Do you never meet your friends while also watching your children? Do you encourage your offspring (in the time you actually spend raising them yourself) to constantly depend on you for entertainment?
What I think you're missing, probably because you've never raised your own kids, is that being a full-time caregiver one gets few breaks. There's no lunch break. During nap time there's always something else to do. A three-year old needs to run around just as much as they need to be read to. There's nothing wrong with some social time. There's nothing wrong with letting a child play alone or with other children.
I'd be totally fine if that was my nanny, by the way, in either circumstance. I'm not going to hold an employee to higher standards than I hold myself. And I also understand that the company of small children, while amazing and rewarding, can get a little tiresome from time to time. (Presumably, some part of you knows that too, and that's why you choose to work?)
Lindellica,
Why did you remove your post?
I was just about to respond to it.
You said,
Also, I'd assume, if I saw someone sitting in a restaurant at 12:30 PM, that they were there because it was (gasp!) LUNCHTIME.
Here's the thing. I am a stay at home Brooklyn mom. I see your nannies. I see your children. 99.9% of the time I see nothing wrong. And that 0.1%? I've never seen anything particularly bad. If I did, I'd say something, but only if I was absolutely sure. The case you're presenting here seems even more absurd than most. If you're so paranoid you can't trust your caregiver, you don't deserve one and you probably have never spent any significant time with your own kids... which, by the way, I think is totally fine... I just think your guilt is influencing your judgment.
I say,
I'm a nanny. I have taken my charges (a 1 yr old boy and 4 yr old girl) to Victoria's Secret with me. I have sat and had an inced latte at Starbucks with them. I have sat next to my one year old in the sand and made a personal phone call to my boyfriend to talk about dinner plans.
I can do it all. But I do it without taking my eyes off the children and without being in anyway abusive to them. If I take my charges with me to run a personal errand, it lasts for as long as they let it last. I know it isn't fun for them. I thank them for being patient with me while I went to pick up things at a drugstore and I do something special for them in return. If they have a fit in the store or the 1 year old is teething or sick, I would never try and fit in any extra things.
I talk on the phone during the day. I don't abuse the cell phone. I talk to the children while I am on the phone. Everyone who knows me and everyone who I might be talking to knows I am a nanny and knows how much I love the children.
Please stop making excuses for the sorry and despicable caregivers that are out there. I only wish more parents would hire PROFESSIONAL NANNIES. There are children in the 4 year old's class that I can't call because the nanny doesn't speak English. I feel for those children and I am always blown away when I meet the parents and see the mother carries a $5,000 handbag and Dad is chauffered around town by his own driver.
Priorities?
Anon 11:17& 8:25
As a nanny I am PAID to watch children. It is my job to have patience, be nurturing and speak kindly to the children in my care. Just because everyday life working with kids is stressful doesn't mean I'm allowed to take it out on them. I'm free to change careers at any time.
As someone who was raised in a household full of yellers it's important to understand the damage that can be caused to a young child by belittling them and screaming at them. As an adult I hate confrontation and for sure lack confidence when someone is speaking towards me with an angry voice. How you raise your children is your business and I will not judge you. I will however say that allowing someone to yell at any child and provide less then adequate care is completely unacceptable in my book.
8:25
I do not hire a nanny to scream at my kids and tell them to buckle themselves up nor do I want to see my nanny sitting there with her arms crossed ignoring my child, while acting like one herself. If they want to chat on a cell phone and ignore my kids and then scream at them they need to get the hell away from my kids.
I have raised more than one child and I was able to get my house work done while looking after them.
I did not need a nap myself in the day time and when they were napping I had a cup of coffee and puttered around my house. I did not entertain them 24/7 my kids actually went to bed at a good hour
and I had time for my self and my husband. I was organized. The house was clean and the wash was done and dinner was on the table.
The kids went to the park and played and we read and did things together. I was able to stay home until they started 2nd grade.
I did not have to "pout " and ignore them when they did something wrong. I did not have to be so lazy that I could not strap them in their stoller and scream at them across the room.
I am now in my 60's and have a 6 & 16yr old and a 1 yr old that I am helping to raise, we have a nanny. I know for a fact that she would never raise her voice to those kids . I have watched her with them when she didn't know I was there. I have worked full time now for over 40 years. These kids are my grandchildren. If I didn't trust the woman to treat my kids well she wouldn't be here.
I feel very sorry for children being raised by a mother that feels it is ok for anyone to treat a child such as these kids were treated by their nanny. It does not say much about thier mothering.
Many of the moms in here are professionals and they have hired professional nannies to take care of the kids. It does not mean they are not good mothers. It does not mean they are not raising their own kids. It means that they are working mothers and have done the best they can for the kids because they cannot be there with them all day. This is a great site and people have found out things that the nanny they hired was doing wrong by coming in here and reading a post.
Judy
Wow Judy...and a few posts above hers too! You have said it all.
Sure, take a moment to relax. However, screeching at the kids and not supervising them in a public place are inexcusable. INEXCUSABLE.
And it is scary that a mom would condone these sitings. How DO you treat your kids? I would be so hurt to see somebody screeching at my small child! They would be fired on the spot and not even allowed to come back into my house to collect their belongings. I would hand them to her through the door, along with her final paycheck.
oh well i think the parents can find better nannies but it also sounds like the boy in 10 was well-behaved and the kids in 2)could use some discipline.
Judy, you rock!!
to the anonymous mom who found nothing wrong with these nanny sightings..thank you.
I agree 100%
I think you are right about several issues.
Many of these women ,although they have children, do not raise them. They pay someone else to kiss the owies,share the pic-nics,read the books and sing the songs with the kids.
They have no idea how easy it is to consider a 10 minute bus ride your relaxation for the day.
They themselves need constant entertainmaent and are unable to distinguish the difference between their own needs and those of children.
It is in fact very unhealthy to engage your child 24/7 as they then literally have no idea how keep themselves buy or pretend and they have no idea what imaginary play is.
My daughter is not quite 2..if I even try to snap her carseat buckle she gets frustarted..she wants to do it herself and will after I tell her"buckle up"
It is called independence and this is the age it starts!
Yes, the boy licking the salt off his palms..needed a little "kick in the butt"
Frankly, I don't want to know a 5 or 6 or even 10 yr old boy who doesn't try to get a way with running around having fun when mom/nanny stop to greet a friend..jumping up on cement walls doing a balancing act, bugging his sibling,smashing his face against a window,running when he should walk and yes..playing with the salt & pepper shakers on a table!
Both descriptions are normal days in the life of any parent caring for their own children and normal for most nannies too. They are nannies..they fill in when you are unable to be there. They are not magicians ,they are not super heros..they are not wonder women..they are real human beings raising your children while you tend to other priorities in your life.
I raised my own children, thank you. And I taught them to be courteous of other people's property...not to smear the windows of a business, run around uncontrolled in stores, pour salt on multiple restaurant tables, poke their siblings in the face while I was distracted speaking to another adult, or be in other ways unpleasant for patrons of a business or people trying to enjoy their own leisure time. Sure, I needed to correct them and work with them to get them to the point where they knew how to act in different situations...but I did not accomplish this by ignoring their bad behavior until I (and everybody else in the vicinity apparently) was on my last nerve and then screeching at them. No, I didn't entertain them 24/7, but I did keep an eye on them in public at all times.
(But I think I may have seen your kids at the book store tearing books and rubbing their peanut butter smeared hands on the furniture. And last week at dinner, were those your kids everybody was pointing at and whispering about while you sat there, oblivious, and let them disturb the meal of every other patron in the place?)
hey mom..ever seen Uncle Buck..well here is a quarter"go have a rat knaw that thing off your face"!!
Awww, you keep it. You can use it to pay for some spelling, grammar and punctuation lessons.
curmudgeon
thats right mom, when you have nothing left attack grammar ..thats the good ol' stand by for you regulars and for you nasty anons with no arguments left for your weak case's.clever
might want to spell check your own in the future..really..your own moniker???Come on mom!!!
There was no "CASE." It was nothing more than a mindless insult (anon 2:11). At least Mom's grammar comment held some merit. I think it's pretty obvious that she stayed true to her argument and convictions when someone actually challenged them. The Uncle Buck quote had NOTHING to do with her "case."
You misunderstand, Dear Troll. It's not that I have nothing left. It's just that I don't care to waste it on you. After all, what sport is there in shooting fish in a barrel?
Now, you may go, because I am done with you (as I hope are all of the other posters you are so busily baiting on other threads.)
2:18 You apparently do not recognize the difference between a simple typo and a fundamental lack of basic writing skills.
lmao @ "shooting fish in a barrel".
People just don't say this enough anymore! :)
I love it!
right..right because someone challenges mom and actually comes back with quite a funny quote..she is a troll..let me see but if a monikered regular were to come up with it umass would find if freaking hysterical and jxj would be rolling on the ground laughing..see I disagree..I did not call names or aim a personal attack at moms children(as she did mine)..mom turned it nasty and I came back with a quote from a movie ..intentionally, so as to continue with my point in a humorus manner..
and what happens..you all preach thick skin to texas nanny but when an anon disagrees and without name calling or bashing anyone trys to find humorous ways to stay in the conversation while sticking to her beleifs..you all jump on her..attack her kids..attack her grammar
what is this
it is like a cheerleading clique in 10th grade!
Come on ladies..are you really that tightly wound that you can't try to find a little humor or civility with people that dis agree with you?
2:35,
I only laugh at things that I think are funny, regardless of who says them. Mom just happens to be a witty person, and every post I have read of hers I have appreciated because of her wit and obvious intelligence. What post are you referring to that was "funny?" and was said to mom? I didn't read anything funny at all, except what mom said.
You should speak for yourself instead of throwing anyone else in the mix. Cheerleading clique? Please. We are just expressing our opinions. If any of the "regulars" said something I disagreed with, I would speak up. And if any of the "regulars" said something I did not find funny, I would just not comment on it. If nobody thinks your comments are funny, just accept the fact that you are not funny.
Some people don't think I'm funny, either. So don't feel too bad. :)
I usually stay in an upright position when I am laughing. And I never saw UNCLE BUCK, so I doubt I would have found the humor in it. I wasn't even going to comment in Mom's defense until I saw 2:17's comment, which lacked basic common sense when comparing two completely different scenarios.
However, I'm not arguing that it gets cliquey on this site. That's just the nature of this type of public/social forum, online or not.
2:35 are you actually congratulating yourself on writing what you think is a funny one liner? "freaking hysterical" you said? sad. and you are blaming the fact that nobody else is laughing at your "brilliant humor" on some sort of clique? very sad. desperate even.
your "humorous" 1:58 post was an across the board attack on several types of mothers. you can take off your "innocent victim" mask now. busted.
well,sad. I guess you are all that tightly wound.
diversity=the condition of being different
accept=to receive willingly
why can't both apply to this site?
so, "willingly receive" the quarter back already and get started in those classes.
Well, I've been rather busy of late but I see my number one fan, 1:58, is still busy posting nonsense and then backing herself up with more nonsensical posts. Once again I feel that I must attempt to straighten out her wayward thinking.
So, 1:58, do you really think a sleeping nanny can keep a watchful eye on her charge? She's on a job, the job of taking care of a wee little boy, and there is no excuse for napping while on duty. It's not just about 'engaging' a child 24/7, but rather, it is about keeping a child safe and that just cannot be accomplished while the nanny grabs a nap when a child is in her care. There is simply no debate here and your arguments do not have any validity.
With regard to the second sighting, I'm sure you realize it is rude to allow a child to run wild creating havoc in a public place. Screaming across a restaurant to gain his attention is not only gauche, but it is totally inconsiderate of the other diners. This doesn't sound like a pleasant outing for the children or anyone in the vicinity. Be it a nanny, mother, grandfather or any child minder causing such a disturbance, it would be equally unacceptable. Now, please do not continue to claim that you found nothing wrong with either of these sightings. I choose to believe that you simply did not think them through and wrote your comments in haste.
anonymous 245..not sure why you thought my post at 158 was humorous..but to each his own. as for an attack on mothers across the board?
I did not attack mothers across the board, and infact I did not attck mothers..I made a stataemet that while several women have children, they do not raise them.Thus they truly may not understand that a simple bus ride can actually count for your relaxation portion of the day!! This is a truth..many mom's have both daytime as well as nighttime nannies. I did not make any judgement call I simply made the statement!.I also went on to say that "nannies are real women(implying just like moms) who raise your children while you attend to other priorities in your life."
priorities=taking precedence logically
Many women have many different priorities..work for some, manicure's for others..some are ill and some are just lazy..sorry next time I will spell it out for you anon 245..but I thought the word priority covered most everything.
I do realize that in todays world most families are 2 parent, working families.Thus the need for a nanny.
maybe you need to go back..re-read the post without the negative, "I am going to find something wrong cause I disagree attitude" and take it for what it is! Stop making it something it's not!
There are no attacks..only my opinions and truthful statements!
You are out of line.
sprak..you are just,as usual, being you and love the sound of your own voice. I have a different perspective on the whole thing..I am sorry that some people are so narrow minded as to ttruly think that they and only they can be right and that anyone who disagrees must making comments in haste.
to whomever made the list of posts this weekend that were allegedly made by one person, I can "see" now how you recognized this same single poster without any difficulty. I'm not saying how I know either, even though it's very plain. It's nice to have the ability to readily recgnize/ignore her in the future.
Sometimes even I make comments in haste without thinking things NOTHING wrong in either of the two sightings is not thinking right. Sleeping on the job and endangering a small child is wrong, plain and simple, and also wrong is making a public spectacle of one's self in public. Whether a child needs constant 'engaging' or not has no bearing on the inexcusable behavior by the nannies in these posts. And that, my friend, is a fact.
wow, part of my post disappeared:
without thinking things "THROUGH, AND ANYONE WHO SAW" NOTHING wrong in either of the two ...
Dunno what happened!
Your gaurdian angel is trying to tell you something!
Don't you know that my guardian angel is the main inspiration for my delightful posts?
sprak,"sometimes EVEN I make comments in haste"?
Wow..well glad to hear that EVEN YOU make commments in haste...
Because you do it we all must..
2:11,
If you were REALLY only intending to be funny (and only you know if this is actually the case)then I apologize for taking it wrong and jumping on you.
As far as insulting your kids...remember, I don't know you, or even whether you really have any kids. Still, I can see how you may have thought that. It was really meant to be more of a commentary on how parents who seem to find these "normal kid behaviors" perfectly acceptable in seemingly every possible social situation seem to be completely oblivious to how offensive it is to others to have to endure their "little darlings" obnoxious behavior. Sure, kids have "natural tendencies," but it is not appropriate to "let it all hang out" in every single setting or situation.
xoxoxoxo
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