Wednesday

Tenafly Library in Tenafly, NJ

Received Wednesday, April 30, 2008
nanny sighting logo Tenafly Library today and saw your nanny, a black woman with a Caribbean accent. We were there for 90 minutes, she arrived shortly after me. With the exception of 5 minutes she spent doing a puzzle suited for a 3 year with your youngest son, who appeared to be 6 or so, she paid your children little mind. The older boy was reading a book on and off but, put his head down several times humming to himself. He seemed disinterested in whatever it was he was reading. As indicated in the pictures. The younger boy was all over the library children's section playing on the chair out of boredom. The entire time I was there, she didn't pick up a single book or help the younger one even find one for himself. He just wandered around the library aimlessly, flipped over on the chair and came over to sit and listen while I read to my son.. For what it's worth, the few times she did look up from her book to answer the children, she seemed pleasant enough to them, but although they seemed to be asking her to help them she never got up from the chair. If you think she is taking your child to the library and reading to them or helping them learn and grow you are mistaken. I know this isn't horrible but she isn't great either. And I am certain it was the nanny because they called her by her name which was Beebie or Phoebe or something.
0 tenafly 10 tenafly 30 tenafly 20 tenafly 4a
I would like to remain anonymous online, but if the parents of these children would like the pictures or to speak with me further, please feel free to pass my info on to them. Thanks!

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

This site is just plain scary.

Anonymous said...

and you come here for what? the frights?

Anonymous said...

Maybe not a mean nanny, but a lazy one, right?

Anonymous said...

Ummm, why are you posting pictures of other people's kids on the Internet?

Metronanny said...

This site is not scary.

A nanny gets paid to do a job, and while I certainly won't say I am actively entertaining my charges 100 percent of the time, I will say if I take them to a library, I interact with them. The older child might be able to read on his own, though OP makes it clear he didn't seem interested in what he was looking at, and the boy playing on the chair certainly should be read to. I know Tenafly. the parents in that area pay well and expect their nannies to do things with the child. At least any family I work for expects that.

She's not a terrible nanny but certainly, she is not being paid to sit and read to herself for 90 minutes. If I were the kids mom, I would want to know.

Anonymous said...

Um, occasionally nannies go places where they can actually take a breather and let the kids be independant. I ENCOURAGE my nanny to do this, and OFTEN, so she doesn't go insane. This was a petty post and I feel it is wrong that you posted pictures of a person's children on a public website. Very distasteful!!!

Metronanny said...

10:01, I am a professional nanny and though I am also encouraged by my employer to take breathers, she wouldn't appreciate me taking a 90 minute one but to each his own! You sound like a very generous employer, your nanny is lucky to work for you.

Anonymous said...

Any person in a public place, or in a space offered for use by the public, can have their picture taken and posted or displayed anywhere. Even children. And Jane always makes sure that the kids identities are protected.

How many non-executive employees get an hour and a half break all at once?
How many nannies actually feel they are entitled to an hour and a half break at the library or elsewhere because they work all day long without any other rest?
How many nannies feel their employers pay them to take their kids to a library to give them a breather?
How many parents are fine with the idea of paying their nanny to take their kids to the library so the nanny can have a long break?

Not trying to be facetious, just looking for some honest answers to these questions.

On one hand, this sighting is not the worst thing. On the other hand, I don't think I would pay anyone to read a book while my kids try to amuse themselves for all that time.

Janet E. said...

No nanny should be taking a 90 min break at a time UNLESS your child is involved in an activity that can occupy him/herself for that period of time which provides you the opportunity to take a breather. Even so, it is the nannies responsibility to check in on the child periodically to make sure he doesn't need help. It also helps the child learn independence but not in a "i don't want you to bother me way" more of a "i'm here if you need me".

This nanny isn't bad. The child is in the same area as she is. In a good environment- not some nail salon like the other poster here today. Maybe this child- not to defend her actions- is one of those kids who just don't have the focus ability to just sit and read patiently for 30 min. Which is ridiculous because kids should be able to stop their hiper behavior and just relax.

Maybe this nanny is overworked. Treated poorly or just had a rough week and wanted to clear her mind by reading a book- even if it was 90 min. At least she did this in a good environment.

Maybe the kid was giving her a hard time and she just wanted to be left alone for a bit. Something about this childs behavior just seems like he's difficult.

Then again, if she's doing this all the time... shame on her. If she's doing this while setting him up with activities to self play then I think it's OK. (didn't she give him a puzzle and book?)

She is most likely a person with just a dif parenting technique but I don't think she's ill intended.

Anonymous said...

To each his own.

If these were toddlers then I would be annoyed if she just sat around. But these are six year old kids and older. I watch on occasion a six year old and he can pick out his own book and read. Sometimes, he likes to read to me. Some kids just don't learn to be independent.

I wish we could hear the side of the nanny on this one.

trishofserpentine said...

I was in the library with my charges today and saw this person, she never even look up the entire time we were there.

At one point, the little one got his fingers steppped on by a woman walking through with her child (op maybe?) and he cried a bit and the nanny didn't even look up. He was also very disruptive to those of us who were there to actually read to our charges. I had to keep moving my young charges out of his way because he kept falling on them with that chair.

He belonged in a park burning off that energy.

a real Manhattan Employer said...

10:01, you sound like a nanny pretending to be an employer again. Note the all capitalization. Also note the continued tsk tsking of the website and Jane in particular. Admit it, you are ranting nanny, aren't you? No one else is this dumb and holds this much of a grudge. As for posting pics of other people's children online, that would make sense if you could see the child's face. Not only are they bad pictures, but the child's face is never shown. So I ask you, 10:01- what is your beef?

I ask you this as an employer whose nanny uses her cell phone probably more than she should, but anyone who speaks to her by phone during the day knows they are going to hear her interacting with the children in the background. I have a nanny that has taken two of my children with her to gasp- victoria's secret to look for a strapless bra while she was working. My nanny has common sense and can multi task and would have it in her own mind that she was on the children's time, so anything she does, she still acknowledges them, interacts with them and plays with them.

Anonymous said...

My charges are 6.5 years old and I read to them at the library, or have them read to me, that's what I get paid to do.

I might grab a magazine and flip through it for a few minutes while they look at books on their own but I just don't take them to the library and ignore them once there. Nor are they allowed to act unruly while there. Over the course of an hour I probably read 4-5 books depending on the length and type of stories, taking a few minutes in between to rest my voice. But then, I have a strong work ethic and believe if someone is paying me good money to take care of their children, I should be paying attention to and working with the kids.

Anonymous said...

1159,
I agree. Me too. And I am very verbal with my charges. If there is something I want to do on work time, I ask them. Of course they would never say no, but I do say, "Would you mind if I leafed through this magazine for ten minutes and then you and I will blah blah". And I always give them direction for something they could be doing in the interim. I would not dream of allowing my charge to upset other patrons! If you are a nanny taking a breather and your charge starts to flop all over the furniture and annoy other people, I say "breather over".

That's real life.

Is it any wonder the children I take care of treat me like gold? I treat them like gold. Respect is a two way street.

This nanny may not be abusive but she doesn't have any respect for herself, her employers or the children she is caring for.

Anonymous said...

I'm pleasantly surprised to see so many good nannies stepping up and admonishing this nanny without flaming her. As OP said, she's not terrible but not great. She's certainly not doing her job! I can't believe any parent would think a nanny spending all that time in a library, doing nothing with the children, on a gorgeous Spring day is OK.

Anonymous said...

Okay, so the nanny may have been exhausted, burned-out, having a rough day, whatever. She should have done her job properly or taken the day off to recharge.
It's not such a terrible offense, though. She's human and she made a minor error in judgment. For all we know, she's a wonderful nanny who just had an off-day.
But posting her pics online is rude and could compromise her employment.
I think the OP went too far

ro said...

157,
posting a picture online is just one way we can identify the nanny. what did you think we did here, just sat around and discussed nannies and their misconduct?

and lucky for this nanny that OP had a sucky camera, isn't it? At least one other person has alread said she saw the same nanny. She is obviously problematic and the parents need to know.

ManhattanMamma said...

I work in a place where there are security cameras all over. This is the information age and Big Brother is definitely watching. I'm pretty sure if I hung out reading for all that time I would be fired!

As others have pointed out, this nanny is not the worst we have heard of, but I think it's the parents call to make. I highly doubt, when this nanny give's the days rundown, she would say "I took them to the library and let them do their own thing for 90 minutes while I read." If it were my nanny, I'd want to know. And while I would not fire her outright I would speak to her and check up on her in the future.

As for the camera quality, it is pretty bad but I think I'd recognize her from the pics if she were my nanny.

All in all, I think O P did the right thing posting this.

your supervisor said...

As sad as it is to say, employees who work in places like Stop and Shop do their job and don't steal because they know they are being constantly filmed and they have supervisors over their shoulders.

A nanny should be alone with a child and have no accountability?

I think not.
Good post OP.

Mrs. M said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous One said...

I agree with this poster:

"Um, occasionally nannies go places where they can actually take a breather and let the kids be independant. I ENCOURAGE my nanny to do this, and OFTEN, so she doesn't go insane. This was a petty post and I feel it is wrong that you posted pictures of a person's children on a public website. Very distasteful!!!"

Anonymous said...

Well unless you are the MOTHER of these children, I guess it doesn't really matter. This site is to inform the parents what their nanny is up to. Whether she is on the street playing with the children and making them laugh or slacking off in the library while your child goes nuts.

cali mom said...

10:20, I tend to agree. Sure, some 6 figure corporate bigwigs may have the autonomy of working completely independantly, or offsite, with nothing more than a weekly meeting and the results of their work (quarterly reports, sales figures, completed projects, etc) to provide accccountability, but the vast majority of the workforce is in the same building, often in the same room or within plain sight of their suypervisor all day on the job. So the occasional cry here of how sneaky, nosy, unfair, etc. it is for people to "spy" on nannies doing their jobs (in public places1) is just unreasonable and silly.

Anonymous said...

Not to mention that the library is supposed to be a quiet place where people can read and do research. There should be no children tipping over chairs and runing loose. It looks like the nanny is doing some type of research by the amount of books and paperwork she has next to her.
The faces of the children cannot be seen so what is the problem with having photos ?

If you need a breather do it at the park,you can sit down and your charges can run and have fun.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about all you perfect mothers out there. But I am having such bad allergy attacks today, I can't take my son out to the park. I have to take him to indoor events.

Yes, I took him for lunch in Englewood today. Almost saw a fight between a worker and customer. I let him run around with another customers son at the Childrens Place. Then we took the bus home

erics mom said...

I hate that library. Theres not a private section for kids. Great libraries I go to: Englewood Library and Leonia. There kids section is located on a seperate floor. So not to disturb other patrons.
Kids are going to be kids. Yes you want to teach them to behave but they are not going to be perfect angels.

Anonymous said...

But I haven't been there in so long...is there now a seperate section for children?

I also, remember a nasty librarian there. The kids I was with at the time were being good. And she came out of no where saying "quiet please"! In a witchy way. I asked her, how much more quieter do you want them to get? They don't understand sign language

Anonymous said...

There is a separate room for the children in the Tenafly library.

Anonymous said...

1;52 pm isn't the Children's Place a clothing store? You let your kid run around a clothing store with another kid as an activity because of allergies???

Anonymous said...

yeah why not. I had to buy him some clothes.

Anonymous said...

plus my car broke today. So I couldn't go to Chuckie Cheese, etc. I had to walk where I needed to go

truth hurts said...

i'm a nanny but i love to see these bad nannies caught on film.

UmassSlytherin said...

With all due respect (I admire Jane for creating something so popular: that shows a great deal of creativity and intelligence. Anyone who can produce something that generates revenue should be given props. I mean, you can bet your ass nobody is reading my blog, with my bad poetry and less than insightful movie reviews) I do feel that this site is pretty scary for a few reasons.
1. It's scary that many parents either don't know or care that their children are not being cared for the way they want them to be. Many parents seem to not be aware of the fact that their nanny is negligent. And this frightens me.
2. It's scary how many parents disrespect their nannies: the women who care for their children. I see it in the tone of the posts here sometimes. There is a lack of respect for this profession. Not from all, but from many.
3. It's very very scary that people's pictures are being published on the internet without their knowledge, especially pictures of children. That I find very scary and offensive and just plain wrong. However, it's really more the fault of the internet than of Jane Doe. It's just the way our value system has been headed for years.
But yes, in response to one of the above posters, I agree with you. It is a scary site. The internet is a scary place. Where children are involved, it only gets scarier.
I salute all the loving nannies and loving parents on this site. To the others: you and your kids are in my prayers. Children are so precious, let's respect them by finding them the best possible care. It can be challenging, but not impossible.

Anonymous said...

OK, I'm sorry, but these children are old enough (the youngest of the two being six) to read some books alone for a while. Personally, I hate it when children are raised to rely on others for their entertainment. I hate the children in the park who are constantly saying "look at me, look at me".

I have been a nanny, for the same child, for three years. There have been times when we have read a book together at the library, but most of the time we quietly read our own books side by side. She learned to read last year, much faster than her peers, and she is only five. How did she learn to read so fast? I didn't coddle her.Children need to be taught how to be self-sufficient and how to learn independently.

As for the nanny in question, it was not mentioned if this was a repeat occurrence or a one time sighting. Perhaps she was just having a bad day and needed some time to collect herself? How many moms out there find themselves needing a bit of time to pull it together on a bad day? And to address the comment about people with "regular jobs" not taking an hour break in the middle of the day, those same people with "regular jobs" also have an easier time getting time off of work if needed. While people with "regular jobs" are mostly in duplicate positions (i.e. a paper shuffler), nannies have no one to fill in for them if they need time off of work. And sometimes, I am sorry to say, when nannies request time off of work short notice, they are told that it is not possible. It's not so easy to "play hooky" if you are a nanny or a stay at home mom.

Give her a break.

Anonymous said...

your break is over when your kid is acting like this little kid. time for nanny to get up off her fat ass and leave the library with this kid.

marypoppin'pills said...

Well, let's not put it all on the kid, either. He acts like that for a reason, it's not as though he was born that way.

Maybe the Mom is the one to blame here for a change?

Anonymous said...

"Okay, so the nanny may have been exhausted, burned-out, having a rough day, whatever. She should have done her job properly or taken the day off to recharge.

1:57 AM"

I can't even leave a hour early to go to dentist, let alone take off a day "to recharge" HAHA, now that is hilarious!

Anonymous said...

804 AM,
My job is the same. I don't have time to recharge my batteries, especially on the clock. But I am paid more than most nannies I know. $1600 for a 49 hour work week and overtime if I work more than that. If you aren't getting paid enough to run yourself ragged, why are you at that job? Do you have other options? If you don't have enough experience to work for someone who will pay you really well, go work for someone who is really kind and thoughtful. They are out there too.

Anonymous said...

No, I work for a great family. I make great money and they are very generous with gifts (She gets me gift certificates for massages, mani/pedis, clothes). They just have difficult schedules and it is hard to work in things that I need to do sometimes.
I love the kids. I have been a nanny for 5 years (3 with this family). I am also in school and plan on moving on when I graduate in a year.

Anonymous said...

Whoa. Creeper.

Anonymous said...

8:04AM have some compassion. YES, nannies need time to "recharge" just like every other human being on the planet!
If you don't have time to go to the dentist when you need to or take a single day off when you're overwhelmed, it's YOUR fault for mismanaging your life.
Everyone's responsible for asking for the things they need rather than bitching about them.
Grow up.

Anonymous said...

8:10
This is 8:04, it is so easy for someone to say "Oh just take the day off to recharge." Some nannies don't have that luxury. Yes, I recharge when they go on vacation. I wasn't bitching about it, I know that there are other nannies out there in the same situation as me. I love my job.
My life is not mismanaged. Stop projecting on me!

Anonymous said...

9:17
If the family you work for will not give you a personal day off or a day to do things like see a dentist, if you have to wait for them to go on vacation to get any quality rest, you need to talk to them about it or find another job.

Seriously, this is not an attack on you and I'm sure you love the family you nanny for, but I think so many nannies allow themselves to be taken advantage of because they feel obligated or afraid they'll lose their jobs if they speak up.
You said you can't even leave an hour early for something related to your health (doctor or dentist). That's wrong of your employers to refuse. They can find a way to accomodate you if they respect you as a person.
Best of luck and take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

While I don't feel it is right for a nanny to ignore the kids the entire time she is there at the library, I don't feel that she needs to interact with them the entire time. I know that the library is a place that my 2 year old charge loves to go and be independent. She picks out books, chooses puzzles to play with, lets me know where she wants to go and will occasionally as me to actually read her a book. But the majority of the time, she wants to do her own thing.

For all we know, maybe this is the time when the nanny can get her break. She could come from a horrible work situation and going out with the kids to the library is her quiet time. It seems that she wasn't bad, just perhaps a bit lazy. If she did this all the time, that's another thing. Maybe she was just having a bad day that day. It just shows we can't assume from what we happen to come across one time in the day.

Anonymous said...

Maybe there should be a site called "I saw your Husband". You know..pictures of them when they take a 2hr lunch-break and sneak into a hotel with the pretty young blonde...You guys really need to get a life...You need to worry about what your husbands, your nannies and your children do and give people a break. Does this benefit you in any way, shape or form? You must not have been doing anything at the library yourself. Wow....all that time to take a pic. and note all those detalis.....What is your nanny doing? Do you get paid for this? Are you like some kind of secret shopper? After a long day at work I can barely get to the computer to check my emails ( I am off today) Please....MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS......DAYUM.

Anonymous said...

You're the nanny in question, right?
LMAO!!

cali mom said...

8:13, I think you nailed it!

Anonymous said...

I am anonymous 7:49pm. No, I am not the Nanny in question.....However I am a Nanny. And I can tell from your "nervous laughter" (as you said-LMAO), that I might have "stepped on your toes" LMAO. Are you calling your husband now more than the usual? Are you actually worried that you might benefit from the "I saw your husband" website? I guess I just went ahead and stirred up some s**t. Alot of you actually slayed your wealthy husbands in an isle @ DeCiccio's. The children are actually the only reason alot of them stay with your sorry behinds. Not to mention the truth behind "it's cheaper to keep her". Majority of you get married with a bun in the oven, because the poor men think that it's "the right thing to do". You lazy, pill-popping, alcoholic, sorry pieces of flesh. I feel for these poor children. You think you are better than Nannies?...Oh no you're not. Alot of you don't even know how to wash your underwear...You see that brown stain on the crotch...it can actually be removed...it's called "SHOUT" or "SPRAY N' WASH". We are more women than most of you will ever be. We know what goes on....remember..we are there 50-60 hrs. a week not to mention the live-in Nannies. Who came up with the term "SAHM"? Most of you wouldn't even be able to get a job as a Bank Teller if it came down to it.....To the GOOD mommies. Hey, What's up.......No need to respond......You can discuss it with your friend at the park while your kid is dangling from somewhere, unbeknownst to you(and yes, there is such a word and it is spelled correctly)......isn't that what you do?

Anonymous said...

OMG! What a hilarious post, 7:23.
Nervous laughter? No, I don't think so. I think they're laughing AT you!
Everybody is anonymous here, whether they have a moniker or not. Pray tell ... how do you know who's married or not? ... and who has kids?

You just don't like that some people saw your post as a psychotic rant.

Oh, and how is it you know so much about the purpose of "Shout"? Washing many brown stains out of YOUR underwear?

And we should be impressed that you know the word "unbeknownst"? I guarantee you had to look it up and double check your spelling ... just in case.

Last but not least, I'm really sorry to hear you are a nanny. How petrifying! (And yes, that's a word, and it's spelled right!)
LMAO! << not nervous laughter!

nanny needs to wipe better said...

Yeah nanny,
The brown stains on the underwear comment says way more about you than it does any of us. I can assure you I have NO brown stains on the crotch of any of my underwear...but thanks for the terribly horrific mental picture of yours that's going to be sort of hard to erase. NOT. Ewwwww.

And here's a piece of advice. It will save you valuable time and money. BEFORE you get the brown stains on your undies, which I can only imagine require copious amounts of Shout to remove, try using toilet paper. Ick.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha!
Hey, next time, don't try to insult %90 of the people on this blog, ok 7:49/7:23.
It won't look so good.

Peace out!

Bergen County Nanny said...

Wow, this was interesting at the beginning ( I am a FT nanny as well as a mom) but you all got pretty nasty at the end. Oh, and for those who are nannies, where are your kids while you are posting???

Lizzie said...

we only know the situation here from one person's (a strangers) perspective...how do we know that this lady was even their nanny, why not a step mom or an aunt or just a friend who said they'd watch the kids for awhile. Or perhaps this lady was having a bad day, going through something, people have other stress factors in their lives, and even though it sucks to admit, we live in a world thats not perfect. Maybe she's a better caregiver to these kids on other days and she was caught slacking by someone who writes on this site at the wrong time.


idk...just an option.

however, if she is usually like that, thats not ok. you picked the job. so do the job.